CHAPTER FIVE
Deena hadn’t seen Josh since just after dinner, but she knew he was around. She could feel his presence in the woods that hid the stone circle from casual observance. The magic infused into the earth in this place was mostly what kept non-magic folk from seeing it, but the surrounding trees did their part as well.
Deena came out just before the moon was set to rise and felt the stones welcome her as they always did. She felt lighter within their sheltering circle, yet also more grounded to Mother Earth. It was a bit of a paradox, but it also made a perfect kind of sense to her magical perceptions. She went about her preparations as usual. There wasn’t much she needed inside the circle. In fact, she could do this ritual just about anywhere, with no props at all, and it would still be valid and true.
The fact that she’d been gifted this sacred spot when she’d been granted guardianship of this land—however temporary—meant that she could do more. A lot more, if the occasion warranted it. For tonight, however, she would keep things simple.
A chalice of pure water. A lit candle, the flame dancing merrily into the cool evening breeze. Her athame—a dagger-like knife inscribed with powerful runes of magic and protection—and a few other things. Some herbs, salt, a few small semi-precious gemstones. She placed all these things around the stone circle in places of honor and power, keeping the chalice, candle and blade with her in the center, on the low slab of living rock that served as an altar stone.
Moments before she was set to begin, as the moon just began to make its appearance on the distant horizon, she felt Josh’s presence. He prowled into the circle on silent paws, startling her a little. She realized almost immediately how foolish her reaction had been and tried to regulate her appearance and heartbeat. Why shouldn’t a werewolf show up in wolf form?
Actually, now that she thought about it, she realized he’d been practicing restraint. Either that or he’d been hiding his wolf form from her until this moment. She’d known he’d been roaming her land in his four-footed guise, but aside from the occasional glimpse of his fur as he bounded away, she hadn’t really seen his predator form out in the open like this.
She looked across the low stone altar where Josh sat on his haunches opposite her. His wolf eyes held every bit of the intelligence that she had seen in his human gaze. He watched her closely, even though his head was bowed, just slightly to the side, in what she took for respect.
“Welcome, forest lord,” she said, using the proper words that she had been taught years ago but hadn’t used in a very long time. It wasn’t often that she had guests of any kind at her rituals, and half-fey werewolves were a rarity indeed.
The wolf’s head nodded in acknowledgment, Josh’s steady gaze never leaving hers. He sat waiting, watching her…almost unnerving her, but she refused to give in to nervous jitters. What did she have to be nervous about? She’d done this ceremony thousands of times, yet something about her guest was making her uneasy in her own skin. Not in a bad way. It was more like she was hypersensitive—overly alert to every little sound and motion. Hyper-aware of the handsome man-turned-beast watching her every move.
He was making her self-conscious! She almost shook her head, realizing how much of a ninny she was acting. It was like she was a teenager all over again or something. A cute boy was looking at her, and suddenly, she was all thumbs. She would have laughed at herself if she could have gotten away with it.
Instead, she took a deep breath and refocused her mind on the task at hand. She started the ceremony as the moon began to travel up into the sky. After a few minutes, the words and rituals fell into their familiar rhythm. She was calm. She was at peace with the world and expressing her gratitude to the Mother of All, honoring Her and all Her creation.
The ritual felt especially poignant this night, and somewhat wild. That was probably due to Josh’s presence in the circle, his untamed magic and more primitive form lending something special to the ceremony. The magic that rose inside the shelter of the standing stones was more intense than usual, and when the rite reached its peak along with the moon, the force of power that poured forth as a blessing upon the Earth and all of the Mother’s creation was more than Deena had expected—or experienced—in a very long time.
Josh howled, making her jump, but she knew the magic of the stone circle would contain the wolf’s howl. Neighbors wouldn’t be combing the woods, looking to kill the predator. Thank the Goddess.
No, the howl was something exuberant. A wild expression of Josh’s wolf nature. It was a blessing in itself, from the most primitive part of him. A call of greeting and thanks to the Mother of All that reverberated through Deena’s bones and down into her soul.
She concluded the ceremony shortly after, pleased with the night’s turn of events.
As the magic she had called began to dissipate, a new wilder magic seemed to rush in to fill the void in the circle. Deena realized with alarm that it was coming from Josh. His fey magic pulsed out of him, knocking his wolf form to the ground. He looked as if he was in distress, so Deena rushed around the altar to check on him.
The moment she touched his fur, sparks flew, spiraling up into the cone of power contained by the ring. As before, her magic met his, and visible points of light resulted, but this time, they were epic. Trails of bright, rainbow-colored speckles swirled around them, piggybacking on the magic of her earlier benediction, following it upwards, into the heavens, toward the majestic full moon.
Deena knew Josh wasn’t doing this on purpose. Something inside him—that newfound magic he didn’t know how to control—had been called to the surface by the full moon ritual, and the overflow was venting itself skyward. She’d been teaching him how to control it, but apparently, it was still too soon for him to have completely overcome the mad rush of power that he’d been experiencing since his fey side woke.
Under her hands, his fur turned to flesh as he shifted to his human form unexpectedly. His naked human form. She went from stroking his furry wolf back to stroking his hard-muscled, sexy, human back. The tingle of their combined magic warmed her fingers, but the more she touched him, the more familiar and pleasant the energy became.
Interesting. And exciting in ways she hadn’t wanted to contemplate in a very long time.
“Are you okay?” she asked him in a soft tone, concerned by his reaction to the ceremony.
He shook his head, leaning to the side so he could roll to a sitting position. He’d been on all fours, an echo of the wolf’s standing position, but he moved to a more human pose now that he was wearing his two-legged form.
“Sorry. I’m not sure what just happened,” he admitted, not meeting her eyes.
“I think…” She reluctantly stopped touching him and sat down beside him on the ground. “I think it was just a little too much stimulation, too soon. I’m sorry. I should’ve foreseen that the way this circle concentrates power might trigger something.”
He did look up at her then, swiveling his head to the side, though his neck was still bent. “It’s not your fault, Deena. You have nothing to be sorry for. I just need to get better at controlling this new energy. It’s still wild, but not like my wolf. The wolf is wild, but reasonable. This…” He shook his head again. “There’s no rhyme or reason to it. The wolf always has a reason for his actions. Hunger, anger, play, whatever. This new magic doesn’t seem to have that kind of consciousness behind it.”
She was silent a moment, thinking through his words. Something important was happening here.
“I think it’s because your fey side should be controlling it, but you’ve never been aware of your fey nature. You still think like a human.”
“I am human, dammit!”
That came out louder than she’d expected, and she was afraid she’d said the wrong thing, but he sighed and seemed to relax after a moment.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I don’t mean to take this out on you. Heaven knows, it’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault. You’re trying to help me. It’s just all so frustrating.”
“I get it.” She reached out to put one hand on his shoulder. The tickle of their energy meeting was gentler this time as they seemed to get used to each other’s power. “I just wish I could make this easier for you. You might still be part human, but your mother has to be mostly shifter, right? And that’s how you were raised—thinking you were the product of a human-shifter mating. But, Josh, judging by the sheer intensity of your magic, your dad had to have been fey. At this point, you know the wolf better than you know the fey part of your nature, and I think that’s what’s causing the imbalance.” She thought about her words and the hypothesis she’d come up with, then added the qualifier. “Maybe.”
Silence fell as he seemed to think over her words, and she realized she’d been holding something back from him that she really shouldn’t have. Sharing her own dual nature wasn’t something she did as a rule, but Duncan had sent Josh here for the very simple reason that Deena knew more about balancing fey magic than others because she, herself, was part fey.
It was time to come clean.
“You know…” she began, not really sure how to start this topic. “I told you I was in exile out here because of my ability to act as a channel for the Goddess, but there’s a reason I’m such a good conduit.”
She took a deep breath, sensing his stillness and his attentive stance, even though he wasn’t looking at her. It felt like he was holding his breath, wondering what she would say. Somehow, he was able to read her feelings and probably sensed how important her words were to her—how she wouldn’t share what she was about to say lightly.
He didn’t prompt her or prod her. He just waited. Patient with her reluctance and willing to let her go at her own pace. He respected her. That’s what it boiled down to, she realized with a feeling of warmth in her heart. She hadn’t known how much she wanted his respect until that moment.
“You see, Josh…”
She turned to look at him. Slowly, his gaze rose to meet hers, and she could see the patterns of tempestuous golden energy in his eyes. It made her breath catch at such visible evidence of his inner power and the struggle to contain it. She was glad they were inside the stone circle, where any explosions of energy would be better contained than if they were out in the open.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got it under control for now. What you said about my fey side helped me figure out a few things just now,” he told her. The fact that he was trying to reassure her when he was the one in trouble touched her heart.
“I can help more. It’s why Duncan sent you to me. Josh, I’m part fey too. My grandmother is fey, and her power passed down to me in such a way that leaves me more open to the distant realms of existence—including the fey realm—than pretty much anyone else on Earth. My dedication to the Goddess allows me to use this unique gift, but the Mother of All also protects me from some of the darker energies that might otherwise find their way into this world through me.”
Josh’s eyes flared for a moment, then the swirling energy in them quieted down as he looked at her. His expression was full of compassion, which was something she hadn’t quite expected from the badass werewolf.
“Oh, honey. You’ve got it worse than I do, and here I am on your doorstep complaining and acting like an ass. I’m sorry.”
He reached out and tugged her into his arms in a move she couldn’t anticipate. She reminded herself that most shifters were tactile beings, and she’d been told they often touched each other to offer silent support. Hugs were common among them, she supposed, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he was naked, and she was very aware of his bare chest as he held her.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Josh. I’ve had all my life to learn to deal with this. I’ve had the best training from the time I was a child, and all the help I could want or need from my family and the Goddess Herself. I’ve been blessed many times over while you’ve had to do it all on your own, and in a fraction of the time.” She looked up at him, staring deep into his eyes. “You need my help now, and I’m glad to give it. I’m just sorry I didn’t understand the true nature of the problem sooner. I don’t talk about my fey side with anyone besides my family, and I don’t see them as much as I used to. I’m not usually comfortable laying it all out there.”
“Totally understandable,” Josh said, nodding. “If the bad guys knew about you, you’d probably be even more of a target than I am. I get that. And, after all, I’m new here.” He smiled, and his words were spoken in a deep, soft, almost sexy tone that started a little fire deep inside her. “You needed to get to know me and be sure that I’m not on the wrong side of things before you could trust me. Don’t apologize for being cautious. It could save your life.”
“I should have known you were okay when the Lady spoke to you. She wouldn’t have shown Herself to an enemy, or even to a neutral. She only appears to those firmly on the side of Light.”
“Don’t be so sure,” he cautioned her. “She told me I’d be tested, and if I came out on the right side of things, we’d talk further. I think She was reserving judgment on me.”
“She said that to you? Really?” Deena was surprised by Her message.
“You aren’t aware of what She says when she takes over your body?” Josh asked, his expression curious.
Deena shook her head, moving a few inches back from him. “Not a word. My spirit goes on vacation into another realm while the Lady speaks. I don’t hear what She says unless She wants me to hear it. Whatever was said between you and Her, is strictly between the two of you.”
“That’s kind of fascinating.” He was staring at her now, his lips curving upward in a smile. “I won’t pretend to know how any of this stuff works, but I find it very compelling. I mean, I’ve always believed in the Goddess, but I had no real concept of how…present…She is in our lives. I never had much time for spiritual things before the magic hit.”
“It awakened,” she corrected him gently. “When you needed it most, your magic came suddenly alive within you, and I’m not surprised you’re having a hard time dealing with it. Josh, you’re much closer to your fey ancestor than I am. I mean, I call her my grandmother, but fey are basically immortal, and the liaison that produced my line is pretty ancient. There are a lot of greats that belong in front of the word grandmother in my case, but your fey ancestor was your father. You’re truly half fey, and for whatever reason, your fey magic was sequestered until you were threatened by those mages and that somehow triggered its release all at once. That must’ve been truly scary.”
“You have no idea.” Josh shook his head, removing one arm from around her so that they sat companionably side by side, his remaining arm around her shoulders. “Luckily, I was in the middle of nowhere when it happened. Nobody else around for miles. Otherwise, I might’ve attracted even more attention, or killed someone else—someone innocent—with the lightning storm I generated. It was intense.”
She chuckled with him. “Judging by the level of your energy, I can only imagine. You’re very strong, in case you were wondering. I have to really work, sometimes, to find my magic and use it. When the Goddess comes, of course, it’s a different story, but if I’m trying to do something on my own—something not associated with Her—it can be hard. I don’t think you’ll ever have that problem. Your magic roils very close to the surface. I can feel it from across the room, and as close as we are now, I can sense the nearly unbridled intensity of your power. Duncan was right to send you here. You need to get control of that monster inside you—and I’m not talking about the wolf. He’s a fluffy puppy compared to your fey side.”
That startled a laugh out of him. “I don’t think I’ve ever been called a puppy before,” he mused, still chuckling.
“A fluffy puppy,” she repeated, laughing with him.