Lazarus

I press the button so I can speak to the girls inside the booth. “Are you ready?”

The four of them stare back at me through the glass and nod their heads while wearing headphones. My gaze flits to Drea, and she gives me a thumbs-up. That’s the most communication we’ve had these days.

I wish things didn’t have to be this way.

I’ve done my best to keep my distance. It took some pleading on my part, but I talked Laurie into stepping in and taking over Drea’s dance training. I’m not sure Laurie bought my excuse of song writing with Cam, but she didn’t push me on the reasons I couldn’t teach Drea one on one anymore.

“All right,” I say. “Here we go.” When I flip the switches, the bass begins to play in the headphones, and I know the girls hear the same beat as I do.

The song came to me the night after I was with Drea. She totally inspired me and was my inspiration for the theme of the song, only I couldn’t finish it once I told her we couldn’t be together.

If it weren’t for Cam coming in and helping me pull the song together, we would’ve never made it inside this booth in time to get a single recorded on schedule.

The hi-hat ticks in time with the bass, and my gaze locks with Drea’s as I count down the beat, alerting her when to sing.

She looks down at the lyric sheet in her hands and then avoids my stare as she opens her mouth to sing. Every word flows like magic. Even when I pictured her singing this in my head, it didn't sound as good as it does right now. This song is going be a monster fucking hit.

Drea’s words flow like butter, and if anybody in this room didn't know that she was a star, they do now. Her talent is undeniable. Her voice … I haven't heard one like that since Whitney. Once the world gets a taste of her, it will be in love. Something about her draws me in even though I know it’s wrong and completely fucked up of me, considering I’m the one who pushed her away. I still crave her.

Pushing her away has only intensified how much I want her.

Drea is still a bit hesitant about her talent, but once she realizes how spectacular she is, the world had better watch the fuck out because she’ll be a mega star. I just wish she had enough confidence to see it herself. It sucks that our relationship is so strained because I would love nothing more than to be her personal cheerleader, reminding her of how spectacular she is.

When we finish laying down the last vocal tracks down, I turn to look at Cam and find him smiling at me. “What?”

“Don't what me, you son of a bitch. You know you fucking nailed this one.”

“We did it,” I correct him. “This song was a joint effort.”

He waves me off. “I just added a few lines. All the hard work was done on your time. But the girls … wow! Their voices …” It’s clear he’s in awe right now as he pauses and smiles. “Our girls are the shit, man.”

I chuckle at my best friend. He's always so blunt, but it's my favorite quality about him. “I agree. I think we’ve got a hit on our hands.”

“Hell yes, we do. These girls are ready for the road. I'm telling you, they're ready.”

“I don't know about all that, but they’ve definitely come a long way. We’ve got to tighten up those dance moves before we put them out there again. The last performance wasn’t bad, but it could’ve gone a whole hell of a lot better.”

“That's why they have a badass dance instructor, right, Laurie?” Cam and I both turned to look at Laurie.

Her face lights up with a huge grin. She’s always found Cam amusing. “Flattery will get you everywhere with me.”

He smiles and then nudges me. “Told you I know my way with the ladies.”

Laurie walks over and then leans against the soundboard to address me. “I'm impressed. I think this group has really got something. You should be proud of everything you've done with them.”

My eyes flit back and forth between Laurie and Cam. “This was a team effort. I couldn't have done all this without the two of you. I'm really grateful for your help.”

“We’re your friends,” Cam says simply. “You can always count on us.”

“Thanks, guys.” I’m truly thankful for these two amazing people. Unlike everyone else who said they were my friend in this business, Cam and Laurie stuck by my side. Everyone else dropped me like a bad habit once my star dulled.

“All right. Enough of this mushy shit. Let's get them to work with Laurie. I want to see what they got.” Cam presses the button to talk to the women in the recording booth. “That’s a wrap on The Vixens very first single. Get your sexy asses in here.”

They’re glowing with excitement when they file into the room. Everyone is euphoric after wrapping the group’s first song. It finally feels like everything is coming together.

I lean back in my chair as I turn to address the group. “Step one is complete. We’ve cut the song. Now, the real work begins. Laurie is going to help you polish the routine you’ve been working on for the past two weeks because we’re going to shoot a video. It’s time to get the world buzzing about The Vixens.”

The room fills with squeals. Shit is finally getting real for them.

I can’t stop my gaze from falling on Drea. The rest of the people in the room are too busy celebrating to notice the pain I see when my eyes meet hers. I’ve hurt her badly, and I feel like a real asshole for it.

I want to tell her I’m sorry and I miss her, but I’m not sure it will do any good because we can’t be together.

* * *

“Five. Six. Seven. Eight.” Laurie counts out the beat before going right into the routine. She watches in the mirror as the group follows her lead.

Laurie moves her feet quickly in a pattern of complicated steps, but unlike the first time she worked with them, the women can keep up with her. Even Drea.

I can’t help smiling as I see how far Drea has come. It appears the one-on-one sessions have made a huge difference. One would never know how bad she was when we began all this by watching her now. She looks like a seasoned pro.

When the song ends, Laurie looks over at Cam. “One more time from the top and give them some mics. Let’s see how they do with a mock performance.”

I sit back and do my part as a spectator. This is Laurie’s zone of expertise, so I keep my mouth shut and let her run it as she sees fit.

Cam hands all the girls a microphone, and when he hands Candace one, he takes a minute to lean in to whisper in her ear, which earns him an eye roll from her.

I shake my head as he walks back to where I’m sitting.

“What?” he questions as he takes a seat next to me. “My mamma always told me never to give up on something I want, so I’m persistent as fuck.”

“I don’t think your mother meant for you to be a stalker.”

He waves me off dismissively. “Candace loves the hell out of me. She just hasn’t realized it yet.”

Laurie counts them down again, and Cam and I sit in amazement as we watch the group we’ve created really come to life. I can envision Drea center stage at a sold-out arena, captivating the crowd with her energy, beauty, and angelic voice just as she does me every time I see her perform. This group is coming together better than I imagined.

I lock onto Drea’s dark brown eyes, and I know she’s dancing for me. The way she’s looking at me reminds me of when we were alone in this room. The time when she started dancing for me and then it ended with me buried deep inside her while I sat in this very chair. All those memories cause my dick to jerk inside my jeans.

God, how I wish things were different. I wish people could see inside me, and see how sincere I am—that being with Drea is nothing like the last times I fucked around with random women. Drea means something to me. She’s different, but she’s not the one people are scrutinizing. It’s me they don’t believe has changed. It’s me they don’t trust.

I’ve done some fucked up things in my past, and it’s going to take a long time for me to prove I’m changing and not the same man I was. And right now, that means denying myself Drea even though I want her so damn bad every inch of me burns to touch her.

“Yes, Drea! All your hard work shows, girl!” Laurie cheers as she studies the four women moving in sync. “Now we’re looking like a group of badass, confident women.”

When the last beat of the song plays, the girls freeze. Cam cheers like an idiot next to me while Laurie praises each one of them individually, and I sit there staring at Drea with a huge smile on my face.

“All right, ladies, take five, and then we’ll run through it again,” Laurie calls out to them.

Everyone begins to file out of the room, and Drea walks over next to me and bends down to pick up a bottle of water.

“You looked amazing out there,” I tell her sincerely. “I knew I made the right choice for the lead.”

“Thanks,” she replies with no emotion.

Her indifference toward me stings, but I deserve it. I need to find a way to make things less awkward between us. Despite everything that’s happened, we still have to work together.

“Drea … I don’t want things to be this way …” I whisper.

Her beautiful brown eyes lock with mine. “Then find a way to fix it.”

She walks out of the room, leaving me sitting there alone. I toy with the cap on my water bottle. “I wish I could,” I mumble to myself.