~Joy~
6:57.
I’m ridiculous.
This is Jace. He’s my best friend and the love of my life, and I’m sitting outside in my SUV like a chickenshit.
There’s no good reason to be scared, and yet, here I am, terrified.
I jump at the knock and put a hand to my chest as I roll the window down.
“What are you doing out here?” Jace asks. God, it’s good to see him. His eyes are warm and eating me up like he’s happy to see me, too.
I hope he’s glad to see me. I wouldn’t blame him if he gave me a piece of his mind and kicked me out after the way I acted last night.
“I’m waiting for seven,” I reply and glance at the clock.
6:59.
“Come on.” He opens my door, and I cut the engine, reach for my handbag, and get out of the car. He shuts the door and reaches for my hand, which fills me with so much relief I want to cry. “You don’t ever wait outside, Joy. This is your home, too.”
He ushers me inside and takes my coat. Once I’ve toed off my shoes, he takes my hand again and leads me into the living room.
With the arrival of fall, it gets dark so much earlier in the evening. But Seattle is lit up before us through the windows. He has the gas fireplace lit. It’s long and filled with blue stones that glimmer from the light of the fire.
It’s beautiful.
So, I stand in front of it, my arms wrapped around my middle while I try to pull my thoughts together.
“Joy, I’d like to talk.”
“I know,” I whisper. “I want to talk, too, I’m just trying to figure out what to say.”
“Well, I’ll start then. Please, come sit with me.”
I turn and look at him, sitting on the edge of the couch with his arms resting on his legs, his hands hanging loosely between his knees. He watches me intently as if he’s trying to see inside my head.
“I’ve had some time to think,” he begins, and for the first time, it occurs to me that he might have asked me here to formally break up with me.
Fuck.
I take a deep breath and sit beside him, but before he says anything, he pins me against the couch and kisses the ever-loving hell out of me. His hands dive into my hair, holding on tightly as his lips caress mine, brushing back and forth until I’m a squirming pile of mush from wanting him.
When he pulls back for air, I breathe, “Wow.”
“This is who we are, Joy. This is you and me. Always. Even when it’s hard. When we fight and when we’re happy. We love each other.”
“I love you so much,” I murmur, my voice cracking with emotion. “And I owe you the biggest apology in the history of apologies.”
“Shh.”
“No, it’s true.” I sit up, forcing him to back away and listen. “I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you last night. It was the hurt talking, the surprise from finding out about the baby, and just . . . everything. I told you before that I’m proud of you, and I am. I’m so damn proud.”
He reaches over and takes my hand in his, listening. “But then I turned around and punished you for being successful, and that’s not fair. I promise to never do that to you again, Jace.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA,” he says, pulling my hand up to kiss my knuckles. “I’ve been overwhelmed, to say the least, but that’s not an excuse for not communicating with you.”
“We’ll do better,” I insist. “But I have more to apologize for. I’m sorry about the way I told you about the baby. I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that in anger. When I found out yesterday, and then you invited me to dinner, I was excited to tell you at the restaurant.”
“And then I was hours late, making you wait for me. That’s not going to happen again, sweetheart. I promise.”
“I was frustrated,” I admit. “But again, not a good excuse. I sounded like a brat, and I’m sorry.”
“I think that we’ve had a lot of life changes recently, and we’re both trying to get our footing,” he says, pushing my hair back behind my ear. “Are you happy about the baby?”
I smile, feeling my eyes fill with tears. “Yeah. I’m excited. I’d never really given motherhood much thought because I was always so career-driven, but now that it’s happening, well, I don’t think I could be happier.”
“I’m so glad,” he says, closing his eyes in relief. “I’m happy, too. And I know that my job isn’t super conducive to being a good dad—”
“That’s bullshit,” I reply fiercely, “and I was horrible to throw that in your face.”
“You weren’t wrong,” he says, frowning. “You should know that I’ve made some adjustments at work.”
“You did not give up the chief position.” I feel myself going pale at the thought, but he shakes his head no.
“No, I don’t think I could. I worked too hard for it, Joy. But I did hire an excellent executive assistant who’s going to come on and take over the majority of the paperwork and scheduling. I’m hoping to whittle my work hours down to no more than twelve hours a day, five days a week. Here.”
He reaches for a book on the coffee table and opens it up.
“A planner?” I ask and then laugh. “I should have known. Only you, Dr. Crawford.”
“Hey, I’m organized,” he says with a smile. “This is for both of us. I’ve already written in what my schedule looks like for the next month. As you can see, the next two weeks are still very busy because I’m training my new assistant, but it starts to open up a bit after that.”
“You’ve written in love weekends twice a month.” I trace the words written in Jace’s chicken-scratch with my fingertips.
“That’s right,” he says. “And I’ll do my best to be home at the same time as you in the evenings, as long as there’s not an emergency that needs my attention.”
“Jace, this is just . . . I don’t have words.”
“Well, there’s more. As we get closer to the baby coming, and we have a clearer picture of the due date, I’ll arrange to take the two weeks off starting the day you give birth. I want to be here with both of you.”
“You’re amazing,” I whisper, then point to next Wednesday. “Can you pencil me in here for lunch? I’ll come meet you at the hospital.”
“Of course.” He writes it in with a smile. “We will schedule vacations and time together in advance. And I’ll do my best to make my schedule mirror yours as much as I can.”
“Thank you.” I set the book on the table and climb into his lap, framing his face in my hands. “Thank you so much for doing this.”
“We are going to make this work,” he promises. “And I owe you an apology, too. I promised that I wouldn’t make you feel like you’re second-fiddle to my job, and I didn’t succeed in that endeavor. Joy, I can’t promise that I won’t still work a lot, but I can guarantee that I’ll try harder, and do everything I can to respect our schedule.”
“Thank you,” I repeat, resting my forehead against his. “What do we do now?”
“Get naked,” he suggests.
“No.” I giggle and press my lips to his in a quick kiss. “I mean, what do we do next? I don’t want to get married when I’m huge.”
“I’m quite sure we can pull together a wedding before that happens. We have time. First, though, where are we going to live?”
I blink, not having thought of that before. “Oh, good point. It would make sense to live here. It’s bigger than my house and closer to your job.”
“I don’t want you to have to commute far for your job,” he says with a frown.
“Well, I have some work news, too. With the baby coming, I don’t think I’ll want to go back full-time. I’m hoping for three days one week, four the next, and then alternate that way.”
“I love that idea,” he says. “But you own the business.”
“I’ll still own it, I’m just going to hire another part-time doctor. I have time to find the right fit.”
“Well, since we’re on the same page about where we’ll live, follow me.”
He stands with me in his arms, sets me on the floor, and leads me through the house to the bedroom next to the master. It’s just a normal-sized room with a small walk-in closet, currently housing some home gym equipment.
“How do you feel about this room as the nursery?”
“Hmm.” I tap my finger on my lips. “It’s going to need some paint.”
His lips twitch, and his eyes shine in happiness. “I know a girl.”
“Nah-ah,” I say, shaking my head. “I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to be around the fumes.”
“Good point. I’ll hire someone.”
“Then I think it’s the perfect room for the baby.”
Suddenly, I’m scooped up into his arms, and he’s marching into our bedroom.
“Now what are you doing?”
“Well, since all of our business is sorted, I’m getting you naked. Any objections?”
“Not even one.”