CHAPTER 16
Michael and I just had sex. The voyeur is gone, and my boss is in the bathroom. He didn’t ask me if I’d had sex or touched myself before we got started, and I had to work at hiding my disappointment. It was almost like he wished that conversation hadn’t taken place at all.
I’ll admit it. Michael’s mixed signals are driving me crazy. It makes me question whether there are any mixed signals in the first place.
Yet, the sex with him was as amazing as ever. I’m still flushed with the afterglow, and I don’t think my muscles will work when I ask them to. Slowly, I get out of bed, and half hobble to the hotel dresser where I’ve left my clothes. There’s a large mirror above it, and I stare at myself for several long minutes.
How is it possible anyone wants to fuck this?
Or watch?
I’m fat. My hair is a wreck.
I jump when Michael slides his arms around me from behind and pulls me against his chest. Our eyes meet in the mirror.
Why the hell did he hire me?
“Why are you frowning? Is something wrong?” he asks with what sounds like genuine concern in his voice.
“It’s nothing, really. Nothing’s wrong.” I try to pull away, but he holds me in place.
My eyes must have gone back to their harsh appraisal of my body because Michael’s next words shock me. “You’re not fat, Kim. In fact, you’re beautiful.”
“W-what?”
“I see you frowning at yourself. It’s easy to tell what you’re thinking.”
“Oh, come on. You told me to lose weight the first time we met,” I remind him.
He nods. “Yes, I did. I know what the voyeurs want to see, what they’ll pay the big bucks for. They’re assholes, Kim. I told you that too.” He pulls me back a couple of steps so that my body is fully revealed in the mirror. “Let’s take an honest assessment, shall we?”
I shake my head, but he continues. He reaches down and lightly places his hands on my knees, then teasingly draws them up my legs. I quiver at his touch and lean into him, closing my eyes. I could get used to this kind of assessment, but it ends all too quickly. “Open your eyes. I want to show you something.”
I sigh and start to turn to him, but he stops me. “No, look at yourself in the mirror. Here.” He taps my thighs gently. “Your thighs remind me of the greatest beauties like Marilyn Monroe. Too much thinner and you’d be rail thin. Nothing to hold onto.”
I start to squirm and protest this dissection of my body, but he continues to hold me tight and presses on. “Just listen to me.” His hands creep up my thighs and dance playfully between them for a moment, but he moves on, much to my disappointment. His hands rest on my stomach now. “Your stomach is a little rounded, but you’re not fat.”
“Yes, I—”
He doesn’t let me finish. “What you are is out of shape. That is your disappointment with your own body. You are not fat; you are not ugly. You just don’t take the time to take care of yourself. Am I right?”
He rubs my belly like I’m some kind of Buddha, and I shake my head in denial. “I am too fat. Look at that double chin, for crying out loud.”
He rumbles a sound of annoyance in his throat and lifts my chin with his finger. “Kim, you’re smarter than this. Everyone but super models have double chins when they hold their head that way. You are not fat, you do not have a double chin. Get yourself to the gym daily, tone your body, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”
I’m near tears. Fuck, I’m such a baby. “But you were so mean the first time we met. You said—”
He sighs. “Yes, I know what I said. You were a stranger, and I was sizing you up as a potential employee. I told you the truth then, and I’m telling you the truth now. Kim…” He spins me around to face him, my breasts crush against his shirt. “Look at me.” It’s a command, and I slowly, hesitantly lift my eyes to his. He’s smiling, which is the last thing I expect to see.
“I—”
“A few minutes ago, I said you were beautiful. I meant it, but it’s more than that. You’re…” His smile widens, and I wait breathlessly for what he’s going to say. “You are charming and adorable and what makes that so thrilling is knowing what a wild tiger you are in bed.” He spins me back to the mirror. “Look at you. Look at your smile, your eyes, those sweet lips. Adorable. And you’re so short.” He laughs. “Petite adorable. And I’m not even mentioning your tits which you know are my favorite part. You are so fucking adorable and so fucking hot, Kim. It pisses me off when you put yourself down like this.”
I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to see what Michael says he sees. I start to smile. He’s making me feel so good, and I love him for it.
Wait.
What?
No, no, bad, Kim!
But I can’t help it, and I turn to him, my smile widening, my mouth opening and…
He makes a stop sign with his hand. “Don’t forget the rules of this job. Please.”
My jaw snaps shut, my smile momentarily disappearing. But I still feel so good; Michael’s compliments have done wonders. “The first rule? Don’t talk about fight club?” Michael blinks at me, and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. “You know that movie, right?” I’m teasing him now and enjoying every second.
He nods. “Yes, I’m aware of that movie. I’ve even seen it a time or two. I watch movies, I read books, I follow the stock market.”
I smirk. “Nerd.”
He reaches for me, and I try to dance out of his reach, but he’s too fast. His lips are crushed against mine before I can draw another breath. His tongue battles its way past my lips and tangles with my own. My knees grow weak, and I’m glad for his strong arms holding me close to him. He’s as far from being a nerd as I am from being super model thin. Oh, does he know how to kiss.
He thrusts me away from him all too soon and rakes a hand through his hair. “The first rule is to not fall for your boss. And I’m your boss. You haven’t forgotten, have you?”
I’m breathless but unwilling to let the point go. “I think you’re the one who forgot.”
He makes a low sound of derision. “Ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” My voice is a little higher than I’d like. “Ridiculous to fall for me?”
“No, ah, damn it, that’s not what I meant.” He takes a deep breath, and I wait nervously for what he’ll say next. “Ridiculous to fall for anyone at all. That’s what I meant.”
I blink at him stupidly. “Huh?” I try to digest what he just said. “You don’t believe in love?”
“I believe in sex.”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“No, it’s all there is.”
“Huh?” I say again like an idiot. “You don’t think love even exists? Wow, who hurt you bad enough to make you believe that?” I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. Michael’s dark eyes turn fiery and not in a good way. Anger radiates from him, and I involuntarily take a step back. “I’m sorry.”
He just shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair again. “You should get dressed now. It’s time to go.”
How did things go from so good to so bad so fast? I want to fix this, but don’t know how. “I’m sorry, Michael, really. I—”
He stops me with a look, capturing me in his glare, but I see more than anger. I see confusion too. He stares at me for long minutes, and more than once, I think he’s going to say something… something I think I want to hear, but in the end, he just shakes his head. “I’ll call you,” he says and walks out.