Liam and I sat at that Mexican restaurant and talked for the next hour, and then after that, we went outside, sat in my car, and talked some more.
He told me more about his family, recounting stories about growing up with an older sister and a bunch of cousins. When they were little, his sister had a role in a comedy sitcom, and I actually remembered her in that show and was amazed that it was the same person.
I told him things about my past and my life that I had shared with no one else on earth. I thought he would judge me about not being in communication with my family, but he didn't. He was kind and considerate and spoke about restoration and forgiveness, and how we all, on some level, needed those things in our lives. He didn't try to talk me into contacting my family, but at the same time, he made me feel like it was possibly, an option if I ever decided to do it.
I believed God gave me that afternoon with Liam. It was like therapy, medicine. There were so many things that had to come together for it to work out the way it had. First, I was emotionally on edge from losing Simon, so I was in a vulnerable place and more likely to share things I normally wouldn't share. Not only that, but the impression Liam's family had left on me caused me to do further soul-searching. I honestly didn't know whether or not all the feelings I had experienced that afternoon would result in any sort of action on my part, but it was definitely a therapeutic experience, and I would be changed as a result of it.
Liam Kennedy swooped into my life at just the right time, and he was just the right type of person to hear me out for an afternoon and let me work through some personal things. I couldn't have seen myself sharing those things so openly with anyone else, and I was truly grateful to Liam for being so real with me. He was an amazing person. He was smart, kind, funny, and easy-going, and I was so thankful for the ability to talk about my family and true past.
I was so swept away by our conversation that I forgot, for a while, how breathtakingly handsome Liam was. We sat in my car for over an hour before driving to his hotel. It was situated on the coast, and after he parked, he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach. I knew he would be leaving the following day, so I was in no hurry to say goodbye. I easily agreed.
I took off my boots and left them in my car, and Liam did the same thing. We both rolled up our jeans in preparation to walk barefoot in the sand. We went far enough toward the shore where the sand was wet, but not so far that the waves hit our feet.
"Which way do you want to go?" he asked.
"They both look equally inviting," I said glancing toward the left and then the right. "You choose."
Without hesitation, Liam stepped in front of me, taking off toward the right. I fell into stride next to him. We had only taken about five or six steps when he reached out and took me by the hand. He was gentle yet sure of himself, and the unexpected contact caused chills to cover my body.
After everything that I had said to him in the last few hours, I honestly didn't feel worthy of his affection, and his tender touch caused me to tremble. His hand was big and warm, and I was acutely aware of his masculinity. I thought I had destroyed any chance of Liam being attracted to me when I told him about my past, so the fact that he reached out for my hand took me completely by surprise. I kept expecting him to let go, thinking the contact must have been an accident, but he held onto me, rubbing his thumb along the base of my hand as if his touch was completely intentional.
We walked in silence, hand in hand, listening to the sounds of the breaking waves. I was hyper-aware of the point where my skin came in contact with his. It felt as though the nerve endings on my hand were more sensitive than they had ever been. I was discombobulated by my attraction toward him. I already felt like a sitting duck because of everything I had shared with him, and now this. I glanced at him, and when he saw me do it, he looked my way. We shared a smile, and then I shook my head at him.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm not a hand-holder," I said.
He slowly glanced down at our hands, which were still interlocked. "It seems like you are," he said slowly, like he was hesitant to disagree but had to, based on the facts.
"Yeah, but I'm not usually," I said.
"That's okay," he said easily. "It's just a one night stand."
His words made my heart sink. I knew what we had would be over after tonight, but it hurt to hear them say it out loud.
"I hope you don't think that we're going to…" I hesitated, but Liam knew what I was getting at. I glanced at him and he grinned at me.
"No, I don't think that," he said. "But I am planning on kissing you, and since you've already told me that your love life is nonexistent, I figured that almost counted as a one night stand."
My stomach tied into about a thousand knots when he said he was going to kiss me. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, my midsection came alive with tingly butterflies. I couldn't believe I had shared all of that with him and he was still drawn to me. I was real with him to the point of assuming I had no chance, and yet still he wanted to kiss me. This knowledge made me experience a sort of desire and urgency that was previously unknown to me. I wanted to step in front of Liam, stopping him in in his tracks and force him to kiss me passionately right then and there.
"A kiss does count as a one night stand with me," I said.
My voice came out quietly, and it must have been carried away by the sounds of the wind and waves because he looked at me and said, "What did you say?" He was wearing a grin as he spoke, and I could hardly stand to look at him. I glanced at his curved lips, imagining mine coming into contact with them. My heart pounded.
"I said a kiss does count as a one night stand for me." I spoke louder that time, and he smiled and squeezed my hand, so I knew he heard me.
"I promise I won't tell anybody," he said, still wearing that easy grin.
"You can't tell anybody lots of things from today," I said. "This has already been a one night stand as far as I'm concerned."
"You mean holding hands?" He asked teasing me. "You really are conservative."
"I mean our conversation," I said. "I don't talk to people like I've talked to you tonight. I don't do that. I don't share my life with people."
"Maybe you should," he said.
I shook my head. "I already regret doing it with you."
"Why? I'm not going to tell anybody."
"Yeah, but it's still weird for me to put myself out there like this. I'm not good at making myself vulnerable. I don't even like to eat food in front of people."
"You didn't have trouble shoving down those tacos," he said.
I let out a laugh and bumped up against him as we walked. "I did not shove them down," I said. "I chewed like a lady."
He laughed. "Yes, you did," he agreed sweetly. "A hungry lady."
I laughed again, shaking my head at him for playing with me. We walked for another minute in companionable silence. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I was thinking about everything we had done and said. I was so used to being in total control of my surroundings that the whole afternoon felt like a wild and unruly whirlwind. I was also thinking about kissing him—that was at the forefront of my mind.
Liam pulled me toward the water and didn't stop walking until we came to a spot where the waves were hitting our feet. I looked around, realizing that we were all alone. There were lights from buildings and from the moon, but we were on a secluded stretch of beach, and I felt comfortable and secure while somehow at the same time terrified and exposed.
He stood right in front of me, wrapping my arms around his stomach as if showing me how to hold onto him. I left my arms in position when he let go, and he took me by the waist. He held me gently, but it was enough to let me know that he didn't want me going anywhere. I stared up at him feeling completely breathless with anticipation. Our eyes locked, and we shared a long lingering glance that was full of charged tension. It was mostly dark out yet I could read the expression and intention and his eyes.
"I have never met anyone like you, Taylor. You think you're obsessed with success, but you're not. You're brilliant and kind, and you have way more emotion than you give yourself credit for. You are hands down the most beautiful creature I have ever seen—inside and out."
My heart absolutely rattled in my chest. It was beating so rapidly that I thought Liam could probably see it from the outside of my chest.
"If you're going to say and do things that are out of your comfort zone with anyone, it should definitely be me," he continued. He glanced upward at the sky. "Thank you, God, that it's with me," he exclaimed loudly enough to startle me slightly. I let out a little laugh, and when he glanced at me again, he was grinning.
"Thank you, Liam," I said.
He saw that I was talking to him, but I had spoken so quietly that he couldn't quite hear me over the sound of the waves. He turned his head and lowered it, placing his ear closer to me. I stretched up to the spot where my mouth was only about an inch from ear. I wanted to say that he was unlike anyone I had ever met. I wanted to say that he was smart, funny, kind, and the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I wanted to tell him that today had been magical on so many levels and that I never wanted it to end.
"Thank you," I said instead. "Thank you for today." I popped up onto my toes and placed a quick kiss near the front of his ear.