Matteo stared at the ceiling long after returning to bed. The room was dark, and he was just able to make out his surroundings in the dim light coming from the bathroom. He was in Grace's bed, Nico at his side, with Grace curled up on the other side of the baby.

He must’ve fallen asleep, because when he woke, the baby was clearly looking for his next meal. He put his arms under the infant and pushed him closer to his mother. "Grace?"

"Mmm.”

"I think the baby is hungry." She reached out and pulled him close, the sound of the baby nursing filling the quiet room. A wave of protectiveness washed over him. He would do anything to keep this woman and child safe.

This was how it would be one day, when he really got married and had a child of his own. He frowned. He didn’t want some other woman, some other child.

He wanted the ones he already had.

Without thinking, he laid his arm across her pillow and touched her hair.

Her eyes opened and locked with his in the darkness. He ran his nails along her scalp. Her hair was soft and he longed to thread his fingers through it as he kissed her. She moaned softly so he knew it felt good to her, the quiet hum of satisfaction.

“I want to lie next to you,” he said.

"Nico needs a diaper."

"I've got it."

He sat up, grabbed a clean diaper and wipes, and settled back on the bed to change the now sleeping baby. Then he scooped up the child, cradled him against his chest, and gently settled him in the makeshift bed on the floor before returning to Grace.

She lifted up the sheets for him to join her. For all the times he’d been in bed with a woman, this one felt the most right.

He pulled her into his arms. He could tell the moment she felt his erection, but she only paused for a moment before pressing her body against his from head to toe. She was warm from sleep, the scent of her heavy on her skin.

He kissed her, gently at first, her lips soft and slightly open beneath his. This was more than just lust, more than the tightening of the tension that had been humming between them since he met her.

His arms wrapped around her waist, one hand ending up on the bare skin of her back where the hem of her nightgown had been pulled up to feed the baby. It felt right that his hands should be on her nakedness, right that they’d fitted themselves against each other like the most comfortable of lovers.

Her hands snaked up his chest and around his neck, holding him to her. Her fingers slipped into the short hair at his nape and he deepened their kiss, a steady pulse beating in his groin as her squeezed her tightly against him.

He allowed himself the fantasy, this woman, this child, this night. His concern for her safety only magnified his feelings. His hand moved up her rib cage and cupped the softness of her breast, gently squeezing her nipple.

A small drop of liquid appeared beneath his fingers, a drop of warm milk, and he growled with the effort it took to keep from bending his head and tasting her with his hungry mouth.

She arched her back as a small sound of pleasure escaped her lips.

“Do you like that?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He lifted her nightgown up to her chin, exposing the glorious breasts he’d seen but never touched. Gently he took a bud between his thumb and forefinger and lightly squeezed.

She sucked in air.

This time when a drop of milk appeared, he licked it like a cat licking cream. It was sweet on his tongue and he swore softly at this new sexual dimension. He wanted to make love to her, to hear the sounds his wife made when he thrust himself inside her.

His eyes popped open.

Wife.

The annulment he planned to receive would not be forthcoming if their relationship was consummated. If he slept with her, they’d really be married.

Forever.

At least in the eyes of the Church.

And his mother.

And hell, maybe himself.

Grace’s legs spread open beneath him and his hardened cock pressed against her underwear. He could feel her damp heat through the fabric of his boxers, feel how ready she was to make love to him.

You won’t be able to get an annulment.

It was everything he’d been taught since he was a little boy, and while some of the tenets of his religion had fallen by the wayside as he grew up and got older, the sanctity of marriage was not one of them.

He teetered on the edge of decision, but when he would’ve pulled back, Grace sucked on his bottom lip, filling him with need. The force of it controlled him, commanded he comply, and he pushed her against the bed, his hips straining against her most intimate places.

He could have been a teenager, grinding fully clothed against a woman for the first time. He was so turned on and excited, every muscle at the ready, knowing he was gone. She lifted her mouth from his, exposing her neck. He sucked lightly on her skin, loving the taste of her and the musky scent of her body.

He had to have her. He slipped his hands into her panties, grabbing her ass cheeks and squeezing her tightly against his ready erection. Then her hands were between them, frantically working the buckle of his jeans.

He’d never been so turned on, so desperate to make love to a woman as this. But the consequences of their union clamored in his brain, forcing him to face what he was about to do. He had to stop before he was inside her, all reason and justification lost to pleasure.

With the very last shred of willpower he possessed, he moved over her and stripped her of her panties, then his hands were doing what he longed to do with the rest of his body, exploring her recesses and smooth flesh, wet from wanting him as much as he wanted her. He tasted her with his tongue and her hips came off the bed.

He wanted to see her lose control. He made love to her with his mouth, his fingers slipping inside of her and stroking the sensitive area on the front of her tight channel.

“I need you inside me,” she said.

He grabbed one full tit in his hand and teased her sensitive peak, sending her over the edge.

He moved beside her and held her in his arms. She reached down and stroked him, squeezing his shaft. He groaned and put his hand over hers. “Don’t.”

“Why not?”

“If we make love, we can’t get an annulment. Isn’t that what we want?”

She didn’t answer, but burrowed her head in the crook of his arm.

“Grace?”

“Yes. We want an annulment.”