CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Parker
I searched her face. "Why?"
"Because." She trailed off, pulling her hand away from mine. "You've literally been best friends your entire lives. I still don't even know if I like you as a person. I like you enough to want to fuck you on a regular basis, but otherwise..."
I laughed and squeezed her thighs. "The feelings mutual, hotshot. The jury is still out over here too."
The slightest smile flickered across her lips. "What we've already done is risky and crazy. I think he'll be hurt by that, but I don't want to lie to him anymore. I don't want it to go so far that the end of summer comes and you decide to stay and then we have to tell him everything."
"He'll be fine. Listen to me." I cupped her face, brushing my thumbs across her cheekbones. "He'll be angry we didn't come clean sooner, even though it's only been a week. He'll feel betrayed and he'll be pissed, and I'll take the brunt of that because I can and because I should. But when it comes down to it, you said it yourself. It's gonna take more than this to destroy our friendship."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
I hoped.
I hoped like fucking hell I was right, because I wasn't sure at all. Teasing Raven about her temper might have been one of my favorite things to do, but it was a trait she shared with her brother.
Still, I knew she was right.
I knew it yesterday when I had to flat-out lie to him to his face. In hindsight, I wished I'd just been honest. I wished I'd followed my gut and I'd told him the truth, but it seemed too blunt. I wanted him to know that I had feelings for her before the rest came out, because that was all that really mattered in my eyes.
All that mattered was that I cared about her more than I should have.
"Camille and Lani were right," she muttered, dropped her eyes. "I should have thought it through before I opened my legs."
It was so unexpected that I burst out laughing and let my hands fall from her face. It was, actually, a hard point to argue, so I agreed with her. "I should have thought it through before I got between your legs."
"It sounds better when you put it like that."
I tapped my finger against her lips, smiling, and then ran my fingertip along the curve of her mouth. "I might be taking the shit for this, but you're still taking half the blame."
"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "But as to the immediate issue, I'm hungry."
I knew where this was going. "I vote take-out."
"There are words I never thought I'd hear you say."
Holding up my hands, I walked backward. "I can appreciate a good take-out pizza as well as anyone else, hotshot. Plus, if I buy it, I'm kinda cooking for you."
"No, you're not. You're really, really not."
"Then you can buy your own pizza."
She pouted, but it was the mischief in her eyes that had me grinning.
"All right, all right. Is there a Domino's around here?"
Raven opened the drawer next to her and whipped out a take-out leaflet emblazoned with the pizza chain's logo. "Yes, and we're quite well acquainted."
***
I left Raven's apartment early. I had to be back in a few hours, so as pointless as this trip was, it had to be done. I needed to shower, change, and talk to Ryan before anything went any further. We'd agreed, somewhat selfishly, that since I was already at her place last night, there was no point in leaving.
Now, I was regretting it. Even though I'd texted my mom, I now had to admit to my best friend that I'd spent two nights with his sister.
Any ounce of surety I'd expressed to Raven yesterday deteriorated the closer I got to my house. It didn't help that our parents were neighbors—the chance of running into him before I'd even pulled up into the drive was high. Higher still during the walk from my car to the house.
I had no idea what to say to him. How the fuck was I supposed to start it? I wished that I'd been honest before. That when he'd asked me a few days ago, I hadn't let Raven interrupt him, and had told him the truth. I wished a whole fucking damn lot, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wish that I'd never come back.
At first, I did. I wished I'd never returned to my hometown and collided with Raven Archer. Now, today, I was glad I had. It was still unexpected and uncertain, but that didn't mean it was wrong. I couldn't believe that it was wrong.
There was no way it was wrong to want someone as badly as I wanted her—uncontrollably.
The fear was still there. The fear that with one choice, I could wreck the best and longest friendship I'd ever had. Not to mention the only truly real one. With success came struggles, and true friendships were one of those struggles.
Love was another.
The idea that I might have to sacrifice one for the other was too frustrating to consider. I wasn't in love with Raven, but I knew I was falling fast. There was something about her beyond the snark that was all too endearing.
I turned onto the street. It was still early enough that the sky still held a faintly residual glow of the sunrise, and the orange hue tickled the horizon as I pulled into the driveway.
My car door opened at the moment the neighbor's front door did. Stepping out of my car, I turned in the direction of the Archer house and laid eyes on my best friend.
His eyes were hard. Lips thinned. Jaw set.
The knowledge snaked through me with the guilt of a hundred men.
He knew.
Ryan crossed the yard to where I was standing. He stopped on the other side of my car, his expression unchanged, and said, "I think we need to talk."