Jessa climbed back into bed, pulling the covers up over her waist.
Almost instantly, a large hand slid over her hip, palmed her rear, and pulled her toward the center of the bed where a warm male body lay waiting. God, she loved it when Max stayed the night with her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his sleep-induced voice barely a whisper. “Can’t sleep?”
“Not really. I think you made me burn too many calories earlier with all your sexcapades so I got hungry. I went to the kitchen and found something to snack on.”
“Peanut butter?” he mumbled groggily.
She glanced at his moonlit face. His eyes were still closed and his breathing deep and slow as if he were half-asleep still. No way had he snuck out there to see what she’d been eating. “Well, it was in cookie form, but yeah, they were peanut butter. How did you know?”
“I can smell it on you from here.”
“Oh, sorry.” She giggled. “Do you want me to go brush my teeth?”
Max’s bulky arm slid up her back until his hand reached the back of her head and he pulled her toward him. He gave her a quick peck on the mouth as she leaned over him and then nuzzled his face into her hair at the side of her face. “No. It smells good.”
She was surprised to hear him say that. “Really? Do you even eat peanut butter? Or is that something you can’t have on that strict diet regimen you’re on?”
“I ate it a lot when I was a kid, but I don’t anymore,” he said, releasing her and closing his eyes once more.
She got the distinct impression that he didn’t want to talk about it so she didn’t push the issue. Or maybe he just didn’t want to talk period. “Are you still sleepy? You sound a little grumpy.”
“Sorry. I’ve been under a lot of stress and worked late several nights this week to catch up on another job I was doing.”
Confusion swept through her. “But isn’t your job always the same? I thought a health inspector had a nine-to-five gig?”
His body tensed, and he rubbed a hand over his tired face. “Sorry, baby. I’m still half-asleep. I don’t know what I’m saying right now. When I said job, I meant…a new place of business that I had to do some paperwork on. That is what’s been keeping me at the office so late.”
“Paperwork? Oh. Don’t tell me you had to close someone’s business down.”
“No. Nothing like that. Just my…uh, regular paperwork that I have to do after every inspection.”
“Well, that’s good. I’d hate to think of someone losing their livelihood. Have you ever had to close anyone down before? I’m sure you have. I can’t imagine—”
“Babe.”
Her eyes squinted at his interruption. “Yeah?”
Max flung the covers back and lifted his body into an upright position. His well-defined muscles flexed as he propped some pillows against the headboard and leaned back into them. He yawned as he ran a hand through his rumpled hair and then rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t want this to come out the wrong way. If you’re just wanting to have a conversation, I’m all for it, but can we please talk about something else besides my work?”
Ouch. Okay, that stung a little. “Why? What’s the big deal?”
“There’s not one.”
“If that’s the case, then why would you ask me not to stop by city hall to see you anymore?” Yeah, she’d forgiven him earlier, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still bother her some. The whole thing was just a little odd.
“Sweetheart, if you haven’t noticed, I have a hard time concentrating on anything except for sex when you’re around. You’re just too much of a distraction for me.”
She squinted at him. “But you stop by my truck all the time when you’re working. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t really understand the difference.”
Max sighed loudly. “Are you trying to pick a fight with me tonight?”
“Of course not. I’m just trying to figure out why your job—”
“Because I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “Look, can’t we just drop the whole subject and talk about something else? Anything?”
Jessa pursed her lips. She wasn’t sure why talking about his job was a big deal, but it made her wonder if there was something else going on. Something he didn’t want her to know about. “Are you sleeping with your assistant? Or maybe someone else at city hall?”
His head snapped up. “What? Come on, Jess. Why the hell would you even ask me something like that?”
“Max, I’m not playing around. I really want to know what we’re doing here. I’m not trying to sit here and accuse you of cheating or anything like that. We should’ve made this clear from the start, but we didn’t. I’m as much to blame for that as you are. But I’m asking you now, and I’ll take whatever your answer is at face value. All I want is for you to be honest with me because the last thing I need is to be made to look like a fool.”
“Come here,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and easing her closer. When she settled in next to him, he cupped her jaw and lowered his head to gaze into her eyes. “Sweetheart, I’m not sleeping with anyone but you. I wouldn’t do that, I promise.” He kissed her mouth and ran his thumb along her jaw. “And I would never purposely do anything to make a fool out of you. I just…can’t talk about work stuff with you right now.”
Oh. She hadn’t even considered that there might be a legal reason as to why he couldn’t talk about it. It made sense though since, as a business owner, she wouldn’t want him talking to others about the operations of her food truck either. “Sorry. God, you must think I’m an idiot making such a big deal out of all of this.”
“Not at all. And I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. I just don’t want to think about work when I’m with you. I’d much rather focus all of my attention on you.” He settled her against his broad chest and then kissed the top of her head before leaning his back against the headboard. “Now, let’s just talk about something else for a while.”
Jess craned her neck to look at him. “Like what?”
Yawning, Max said, “Why don’t you talk about yourself, and I’ll listen.”
She laughed. “That’s not a conversation. That’s me giving a speech. Probably a really boring one.”
He rubbed a hand over his face and yawned again. “It’s okay. I’ll comment occasionally to let you know I’m paying attention.”
Yeah right. He was so going to fall asleep on her. “Okay, well, what do you want to know about me?”
“Let’s start with an easy question,” he said, leisurely stroking her collarbone with the tips of his fingers. “Do you like traveling?”
Jessa sighed. She loved when he touched her like that. “Not really. It was fun when I was little and I was doing it with my mom. And I enjoyed it somewhat when I traveled for work for a few years. But not anymore. Now I’m much more interested in staying in one place.”
“How come?”
She tried to shrug, but the weight of his heavy arm over her shoulder made it ineffective. “Different reasons, I guess. Mostly, I think I either grew out of it or just got tired of it. For a couple of years, I’d worked and trained under a celebrity chef who moved from one major city to the next. He specialized in pop-up venues, so we never stayed in one place very long before moving on.”
“I think I saw something about those on television once. Don’t they call those supper clubs or something like that?”
“Not exactly. Those are actually a bit different from a regular pop-up venue. There are some parallels between the two of them, but there’s also a big difference. From my understanding, supper clubs aren’t usually legal because they don’t follow any rules or regulations. The guy I worked for was legitimate. He was a young, talented chef, but he had a bit of a bad-boy complex when it came to the ladies…and the media.”
“Did you and him ever, ah…you know?”
She sat straight up and stared at him blatantly. “What? No, of course not. My God, he was my boss. I’d never—oh.” She winced and her forehead wrinkled. “Okay, I get it. So you think I slept with him only because I’m sleeping with you? Is that it?”
Max shook his head adamantly. “No, Jess. I know I’m sounding a bit grumpy since it’s the middle of the night, but I swear that’s not why I was asking.”
“Okay, then why?”
He shook his head. “I was just wondering if I was going to have to kill him for touching you, or if I could let him keep on living. Apparently, he’s safe…for now.”
Jessa laughed at his remark. “Yes, he’s safe.” She settled back into the nook of Max’s arm but gazed up at him. “You know, I wouldn’t blame you if you did think that. I mean, I am lying in bed right now with the health inspector who oversees my food truck business. I hate to admit it, but it looks bad.”
“Wrong,” he said, his tone filled with frustration. “It’s not even close to being the same damn thing. I’m not…” His words faded out, and a pained look took over his face.
“You’re not what?”
He hesitated. “Nothing. Forget about it.”
“No, tell me.” She scrambled into a sitting position to get a good look at him. God, why was he acting so weird tonight? “Max, you can’t start to say something and then stop like that. What is it?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “I’m not…someone who is going to make a snap decision about you for something like that. I know you said you didn’t sleep with him, but even if you had, it wouldn’t matter. I’m not going to judge you either way. Just like I hope you wouldn’t judge me if you found out I did something that wasn’t very smart to do.”
“Of course,” she said, leaning up to kiss his chin. “We have all done things that we aren’t proud of. I’m just glad that, for me, my old boss isn’t one of them.” She nudged Max with her elbow. “Not that I was ever really tempted. He was such a huge playboy with zero respect for women. That’s part of why I didn’t want to work for him anymore.”
“And the other part?”
“I wanted to cook whatever I wanted, and I couldn’t do that as long as I was having to work off of his menus in his restaurants. I had my own creative ideas about the dishes we served and wanted to implement them. Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that working for someone else.”
“So that’s why you bought the food truck?”
She nodded. “Sort of. Owning a food truck has given me the opportunity to cook what I want and how I want without having to work for someone else. So that has definitely been a bonus. But it’s not the entire reason why I invested in one.”
“Ah, so you had another motive.”
“I guess you can say that. I want to open my own brick-and-mortar restaurant.”
“Really? Then why didn’t you just put the money you spent on the food truck down on a restaurant instead?”
“Because it wasn’t enough. Starting up a food truck business is actually a lot cheaper than opening a restaurant. The amount I spent on the truck had only been a quarter of what I needed at the time.”
“But couldn’t you have worked for another chef in a different restaurant?”
She shrugged. “Sure, I could have. But I love the control that comes with me owning my own business. I can whip up whatever I want, experiment with different flavors and textures, and test out my concept all at the same time. Besides, I needed to establish a name for myself as a chef that produced cutting-edge cuisine at an affordable price.”
“You should think about adding some healthy dishes to your menu. Then maybe I could eat there.”
“Actually, I’ve already thought about that. I’m working on adding several healthy options. They should be on the menu by next week. You’ll have to swing by and check them out.”
“Sure, I’d love to,” Max replied with a yawn. “So how did you end up in Granite anyway? You’re not from around here, right?”
Jessa shook her head. “No. I actually wasn’t sure where I would end up living. I planned to travel around for a while and figure it out. But then I remembered all the stories my mother had told me when I was a little girl about this small town called Granite. She’d told me many times that we would one day move here, but we never got the chance.”
“Yeah? How come?”
A sharp pain squeezed her chest, and her throat tightened. “Because she died.”
Max pulled her closer to him. “I’m sorry to hear that, sweetheart.”
She shrugged. “It’s okay. Well, actually it’s not, but you know what I mean. We can wish all we want that things were different, but life doesn’t work that way.”
He nodded solemnly. “Can you tell me what your mother was like? If it’s too painful to talk about, I’ll understand.”
“No, it’s fine. All I have left is my memories of her, so I don’t mind sharing them with you.” Moisture flooded her eyes, but she gave him a smile. “Just ignore the tears. I’m not going to be able to talk about her like this and not cry a little. It makes me sad, but it’s good to let it out, ya know?”
He brushed one finger under her eye, capturing a drop that was about to fall. “I’d never ignore your tears, Jess. They’re part of you. Just like you shouldn’t avoid talking about your mother just because it makes you sad. You were part of her.”
Jessa snuggled closer to him and laid her head on his chest. “I miss her every day. I hate that she died and won’t be around to see me get married or have her grandbabies.” She paused. Oh, jeez. Why did I say that to him? “Sorry. I hope you didn’t take that as a proposal or an offer for you to be my baby daddy.”
She felt a quick chuckle vibrate through his chest. “No, I know exactly what you meant.”
Of course he did. God, I’m such a dork. She sighed. “My mother had cancer around her liver, the fast-growing kind.”
“How old was she at the time?”
“She was only fifty-eight when she received the diagnosis, but she passed away the following year. The cancer was really aggressive and had metastasized, spreading to her lymph nodes and several of her other organs.”
“Damn. That’s not good. Did she have any chemo or radiation treatments?”
“No. By the time the doctors realized how far her cancer had already progressed, they basically sent her home and told her to enjoy the time she had left. Otherwise the quality of what life she did have would’ve diminished to nothing. According to them, she couldn’t be saved.”
“That’s terrible.” His arms squeezed tighter around her. “I’m so sorry.”
“Me too,” Jessa said. “She was the only person I had left in this world.”
“What about your father?”
“I don’t have one.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that how babies work? A man and a woman conceive a child together and—”
“Okay, so I had one, smart guy,” she said, shaking her head. “I just never knew him. He had no interest in being a part of my life. So the moment my mom died, I’ve been alone ever since.”
“You’re not alone, Jess.”
“No, I guess I’m not. I’ve actually made a lot of new friends since I moved here, but no one yet that I feel comfortable talking about this kind of stuff with. Other than you, I mean. It’s easy for me to talk to you about it.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
Her smile was quick, and she beamed up at him. “Because I trust you, of course.”
* * *
Her words shook Max to the core.
Christ. What the hell am I doing?
Not only had he been sleeping with Jessa nonstop for the past few days while lying to her, now he’d gone and earned her trust, all the while knowing that he’d be the asshole breaking it in the end. What kind of a sadistic bastard did that to a woman he cared for?
Me, that’s who. God, he was such a stupid sonofabitch.
All of this had gone way too far. He should’ve told her the truth when he’d had the chance. Like before he’d started sleeping with her. Now, every time he imagined himself doing so, the words stuck in his throat like a splintered chicken bone.
As lovely as she was, he hadn’t meant to ever put his hands on her. He’d even promised himself that he wouldn’t go there. But not only had he gone there, he couldn’t seem to form any definite plans for coming clean any time soon.
So much for just one night. Idiot.
Damn it, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. But now that he’d started sleeping with her, he couldn’t seem to make himself stop. And as good as it was, the sex wasn’t the only thing between them. Not if he was being completely honest with himself. And he had to be. Because he damn sure wasn’t being honest with her.
Sometime in the past two weeks, something else had begun to form between them. Max had started developing a strong attachment to her, one that was only complicating matters that were already difficult enough.
What had started out as a forbidden attraction to a customer-stealing vendor soon had turned into him caring about this vibrant young woman and wanting her to do well in everything she did. Unfortunately, that also included her food truck business and her dream of opening a restaurant. After all, she deserved it since she ran the Gypsy Cantina like a champ.
But he still couldn’t help but feel torn in half. Jessa’s success would mean Pops’ failure, yet he would only succeed if she left town. So either way, one of them would lose…which meant Max lost too.
Still, he meant what he’d said to her. Jessa may have lost her mother, but she wasn’t alone in this world. No matter what, she had him. He wasn’t quite sure what that meant at the moment, but he hoped he’d figure it out soon.
“Tell me more about your mom,” he said, wanting to give her the chance to talk freely about something she wouldn’t talk about to anyone else. “What was she like? Was she like you? Did she enjoy cooking too?”
Jessa laughed. “Um, no. My mother couldn’t even warm up green beans from a can without burning them. She was a horrible cook. I think that’s why I became so good at it. I grew tired of eating frozen dinners from a box or cold turkey sandwiches every night when I was younger. It made me a fast learner.”
Max grinned. “I can’t cook either and have had my fair share of sandwiches for dinner. Don’t think I’ve ever burned canned green beans though.”
“Good. Trust me, you don’t want to. It’s the worst smell you can imagine. She forgot them on the stove for so long that all the liquid had cooked out of it, leaving only a scorched mess in the bottom of the pot. We didn’t even bother scrubbing it clean. We just threw the whole pot away.”
“So I take it she didn’t like doing dishes either.” He grinned.
Jessa giggled. “Mom only loved two things in her life. Her daughter and traveling. And traveling had actually been her first love…until the cancer had taken that away from her.”
“That must be horrible not to be able to do something you love so much.”
Her eyes filled again. “When my mom got too sick to do it anymore, she’d lie in bed and read her old traveling journals. Her oldest ones were all the way back from when she’d graduated high school. That was the first time she’d set out on the road to see the sights in different places. She once told me that she had been afraid she would one day forget all the wonderful places she’d gone, so she started writing everything down.”
“Do you still have them?”
“Yes, all of them. Even the one she wrote for Granite.”
He was surprised to hear her say that her mom had actually been there before. “When did she come through here?”
“I’m not sure. It was sometime before I was born, I believe. I grew up listening to her talk about this great little town that seemed like the perfect place to live. Since she always said she was going to return and bring me with her but we never got the chance, I decided to move here. I guess I sort of felt like I was fulfilling my mom’s last wish.”
“Well, I hope her description in her journal matched up with what you found when you got here. It would be terrible to realize that the town was no longer anything like what your mother had loved about the place back then.”
Jessa nodded. “That’s true. But since I’ve never read that particular journal, I wouldn’t have any idea whether it matches or not.”
He blinked at her. “So you just moved here without even reading what she’d written? You know who does insane stuff like that? Crazy people.”
Laughing, she replied, “I know it probably seems nuts for me to pick up and move to a strange town where I knew no one. But I swear I can feel my mother here. And honestly, I haven’t really had the nerve to read the journal entries she wrote about Granite. I don’t know why. Maybe I feel like the town would be completely different from what it was when she was here, and I…well, I wouldn’t be able to feel her presence anymore.”
“Aw, sweetheart. You’re always going to have your mom with you. It’s not the town,” he said, placing a hand over Jessa’s heart. “She’s right here. No matter where you go, she’ll always be a heartbeat away.”
A single teardrop rolled down Jessa’s cheek. “Thank you. I wish you could’ve met my mom. She was an amazing woman.”
“I have no doubt that’s where you got it from.” He smiled at her. “Do you have a picture of her?”
“I do, but I haven’t unpacked them yet. Since I rented a furnished cottage, I put everything of mine in the attic. I’ll pull some out the next time I’m up there.” Then she grinned. “But technically, you have already seen my mom’s face. You look at her every time you see my truck.”
Max squinted in confusion. “The redheaded gypsy woman?”
Jessa nodded. “That’s my mom. Well, her likeness anyway. The painter did a great job on it. It really looks a lot like her.”
“She’s beautiful, but I…well, I just assumed it was supposed to be you. So you both had red hair then?”
“Yep, that’s where I get it from. We looked just alike. Everyone always said so.”
“And the gypsy thing?”
She smiled. “My mom was born of gypsy heritage, so I guess it was in her nature to travel so much. Strong bloodlines.”
“What about you?”
“I’m only half-gypsy, so maybe that’s why I don’t have the urge to roam like she did. Mom never could sit still while I was always fine with staying in place. We looked a lot alike, but our personalities were complete opposites of one another.” She sniffled. “And then she got cancer and wasn’t ever the same again.”
“I’m sorry you had to watch her decline. That had to be hard. I lost my grandmother to cancer too, but that’s not nearly as bad as losing your mother. Especially with you still being so young and not having a father in your life.”
She nodded. “It was hard, but the worst of it was watching her take her last breath and not being able to do anything to bring her back. I’d never felt so helpless in my life. She was just…gone, and there was nothing I could do about it.”
The dam that had been holding back the waterfall finally broke free, and tears dripped down her cheeks. Max gathered her into his arms, not knowing what to say to comfort someone who had watched their mother die right in front of them. He couldn’t even imagine how hard that had been. So he just held her in the quiet darkness of the night until her sobs faded out.
Once she’d regained control, he lifted her chin and kissed her soft lips. “Jess, I think you should read your mother’s journals. At least the one for Granite, if nothing else. I have a feeling you’ll sense her presence more than ever and have an even stronger connection to her. If she wanted you here in Granite, then I think you need to know why she thought this would be the perfect place for you to live.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that. It still hurts too much.”
He brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “It’s all right to feel that way. There’s no rush, baby. Just do it when you feel comfortable with it. I don’t want you to have any regrets about it one way or another.”
She shook her head. “I never have regrets, Max. Maybe I get that from my mother, but life is too short to second-guess all of your decisions. Even back when I was homeless, I didn’t—”
“You were homeless?” His heart skipped a beat. The thought of her being on the streets without any place to go or anyone to protect her horrified him to no end.
“Yes. I mean, it was only for a few months, but I lived in my crappy blue sedan. After my mom passed away, my life had sort of spun out of control. I was in a depressed state most of the time, and I had a tough time pulling out of it. Nothing went my way, I wasn’t working, and I ended up going through a very rough couple of months.”
“Is that why you help the homeless guy in the park?”
“Harry? I guess.” She shrugged. “I mean, I get it. Life isn’t always easy, nor is it always kind. Stuff happens, and it sometimes takes a while before a person can stand on their own two feet again. But I don’t think of me feeding Harry lunch as a handout. It’s more of a hand-up. It’s up to him what he does with that.”
Max kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re a good person, Jessa Gibson. Most people would pass by a guy like Harry and not think twice about ignoring his current living situation.”
“It’s hard to ignore a situation that you recognize and have been in yourself.”
“True. So what happened that changed that for you?”
“Well, I guess I received a hand-up of my own. Though I didn’t have a place to live, I kept my post office box. Thank goodness for that. Because I finally received a check from my mother’s life insurance policy.”
“Life insurance? I always thought it was nearly impossible to get approved for a policy if you had cancer. They wouldn’t cover my grandmother at all.”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure, but in my mother’s case, she had her policy years before she was ever diagnosed. So they paid out the policy, and that check was what got me off the streets.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I don’t like the idea of you being in that kind of bad situation.”
“This will probably sound a bit crazy, but it was almost like my mother had reached out beyond death and had offered me a helping hand.”
“I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. I’d probably look at it the same way if it had been my mother. Your mom would’ve wanted to help you so maybe she did.”
“Maybe.” Jessa yawned sleepily.
“Getting tired?”
“Yeah. I think my emotions are wearing me out.”
He leaned her against his chest, and his hand slid beneath her shirt and up her spine to the center of her back. “Then get comfortable on me and go to sleep. I’ll rub your back for you.”
She shifted a little, and then her eyes flickered up at him. “But aren’t you going back to sleep too?”
“I will soon.”
Right after he figured out what the hell he was going to do about Jessa. Because he was pretty damn sure he was falling completely in love with her. But even that wasn’t going to stop her from hating his guts when the truth finally came out.