“This is not a motel!” A shrill shriek. “Fornication is not allowed.” The librarian stared down at me with stern disapproval. The best kind.

The rude interruption couldn’t completely dispel my sexual languor. Opening my eyes slowly, as Sebastian yanked my skirt back in place, I drawled, “For the record, oral is not fucking.” But it could feel just as good.

A snicker emerged from under the table before Sebastian did. He wore a very satisfied, smug grin. I probably wore the same one.

The librarian sucked in a breath, ready to breathe verbal brimstone on us.

Fun times.

“Sexual acts are not allowed here!” Said with the uptightness that came from a life spent alone with too many cats. Or so I surmised, given the cat hair coating the librarian’s clothing.

The next smartass remark didn’t come from me.

I know, surprising, hunh?

“Are you sure about the no-sex-acts thing?” Sebastian asked. “Because I’ve seen and read some of the books in your romance section. They do things in them that make even me blush. But, I should add, I’d be willing to try just about all of them.” He winked.

The older woman, in her brown, button-up cardigan, her stern glasses, and wispy gray hair pulled tautly, pursed her thin lips. “Well, I never…”

“Obviously,” he interjected, “or you’d have left us alone because you’d know how it feels to be so intrigued by a person that where you are doesn’t matter. Only the need to seduce.”

Okay, that went beyond panty wetting straight into take me right now, on this table, in plain sight of the librarian if she wouldn’t leave.

Her arm extended and pointed. “It’s time you left.”

What a surprise, another place I got kicked out of.

“I can’t leave yet. I wasn’t done researching.” I pointed to my pile of books. Not a single comic book among them.

“You are done, missy.” Said with a strange glee.

It was then I noticed something about the old lady. Something amiss, and I didn’t mean the fact that the buttons weren’t matching up properly on her sweater or that one earring was missing, but the fact that her eyes glowed. A pinprick of red in the center of the pupils.

I’d seen that before, and recently, too. At least I knew better than to eat any offered cookies.

Standing up, I confronted the librarian. “Have you recently come into contact with any evil artifacts or participated in any Satanic rituals?”

“What kind of craziness is this?” she hissed.

“Baby, what are you doing?” muttered Sebastian.

I waved a hand to shush him. “Did you inherit a ring or buy a mirror from an estate auction?”

“Get out.”

“By any chance, are you acquainted with the Peabodys?”

Her lip curled. “Who I know is none of your business.”

“Are you, or aren’t you?”

“And if I am?”

The red light in her eyes got brighter, which prompted me to say, “Are you possessed?”

At that, Sebastian jumped from his seat and began to stack the books. “Sorry, ma’am, we’ll just be heading off now…”

His words trailed off, probably because the librarian, much like Mr. Peabody, floated above the floor.

“Um, baby, what’s happening.”

“I think we found a clue!” I clapped my hands in delight, even if I didn’t know what it meant.

“The darkness is coming,” she intoned in a deep voice that reverberated, raising the hairs on my skin. I really needed to make that appointment to wax them.

The red light in the librarian’s eyes vanished on account that they’d rolled back in her head, leaving only the whites behind. Which, I will add, wasn’t exactly an improvement on her appearance.

“Oh, shit,” Sebastian muttered. “This can’t be good.”

“I knew it. She’s possessed.” And I’d found her! I was rocking this case.

“She,” enunciated the librarian, “is hungry.”

Now where had I heard that before? Suddenly, I was everyone’s meal of choice.

“Sorry, but the kitchen is closed.” I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head. I’d already fed a werewolf today. I wasn’t about to feed this woman.

My answer didn’t go over well. The librarian’s mouth opened wide, and a whistling scream came out of it.

Cool. It would have been cooler with wasps, though.

Sebastian wasn’t as intrigued. He grabbed me by the hand and pulled. “We should go.”

“Go?” I leaned against his tugging. “But we just found a clue to the Peabody case.”

“Yeah, and she’s not happy about it.”

The librarian spun in the air, arms outstretched, head back, the noise from her mouth not diminishing, not fading even to take a breath.

The rapid turning caused wind to whip up, not exactly a normal occurrence inside a building. Even though we were huddled in the back, people in the library noticed.

It didn’t take long before the first person appeared between the stacks with a smart phone raised, taking a video. Soon, there was a handful, muttering amongst themselves, unsure what to think of the librarian flipping out mid-air.

I did hear a few comments along the lines of “someone must be filming either a movie or a prank.” The Ring had done something epic when their third installment came out. The looks on people’s faces when that girl crawled out of the televisions in that store was to die for.

Currently, no one looked too scared. Nothing bad had happened. A bit of wind, an annoying shriek, and yet still, Sebastian tugged at my arm.

“Baby, I really don’t think we should stick around.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a pussy. I thought you were a wolf. Aren’t wolves super brave?”

He sighed. “I am, but even we know when to run. This”—he indicated the spinning old lady—“is a run away moment because this involves magic, and neither of us is equipped to deal with that.”

How could he not be equipped? He was a fucking Lycan. “Can’t you just eat her?”

“In public, with people watching?” Sebastian gave a pointed look to the gawkers with their phones live streaming before facing me again.

Hmm. Good point.

Still, the idea of leaving didn’t appeal. This was the moment I’d trained for, and I felt ready to face the forces of darkness. If only I’d brought a decent weapon. “I am going to have to find a bigger purse,” I muttered as I grabbed my stuff and shoved it into my satchel.

“A bigger purse for what?” he asked, pulling me along the outskirts, his gaze fixated on Spinerella—a name the librarian surely deserved given her long skirt flared slightly during her spins, and her hair, now unbound, floated around her head.

“I need a bigger purse for my machete. All the movies and books agree that chopping off the head usually solves the problem.”

That earned me a startled glance.

“And how would you explain a decapitation to the cops?” he asked.

Such an oddly practical question coming from him. I wrinkled my nose. “Self-defense against the dark arts.”

“That’s not an actual thing.”

It isn’t? Dammit, there I went mixing up my Harry Potter lore with the real world again.

We’d almost made it to the corridor of books that would give us a straight shot out of there when Spinerella stopped screaming.

It wasn’t as reassuring as you’d think, especially since she said, “Oh, Brenda, Mrs. Peabody says to ask how you liked her cookies.”

I halted in my tracks and whirled long enough to say, “Tell her I prefer store-bought.”

Wrong answer.

Spinerella swooped and flew toward us, crazy white eyes glaring, mouth open wide, and fingers crooked into claws.

All of a sudden, I didn’t need encouragement to run.

Ever see the movies where the books start flying out, and the shelves topple over?

It didn’t happen. I know, major disappointment.

We popped out of the stacks into the reception area with the desk to check books in and out, freedom only yards away, when something grabbed me from behind.

By grab, I meant the crazy librarian dug her nails in and lifted me while cackling.

“Yummy, yummy in my tummy,” the crazy bitch sang.

“Ouch,” I yelled as I thrashed my legs.

“Hold on, baby. I’ll save you.” Sebastian didn’t ditch me to Spinerella. He wrapped his arms around my legs and tried to work as an anchor.

Leaning back, he strained with all his weight to bring me back to the floor, but the damned possessed librarian kept lifting.

Holy shit, she was strong. So strong that I wondered how I’d escape. Would I become the next victim? Would my picture be in the newspaper?

Adorable Brenda Whittaker Sadly Succumbed to a Nefarious Force. Or would it be more along the lines of, Dumb Blonde Should have Run Faster.

Our ascent abruptly halted as another body suddenly threw themselves on Sebastian. And then another grabbed on to him.

Only with all that combined weight did Spinerella let me go, and I landed in a heap on top of three men.

My men.

How nice of them to provide a muscled landing. Did they have to ruin it with matching scowls?

Before I could say anything, I found myself dumped onto the floor, face first on dirty tile.

What happened to my pile of men?

Rolling, I saw them standing over me, Dale, Mike and Sebastian, and holy shit, things had just gotten hot. As in fantasy come to life hot because they were taking off their shirts.

I caught the fabric they dropped, hugging the warm material to me, smelling them on it. I just wished they’d turn around so I could see their fronts. Their muscled backs and tight asses in those jeans were fabulous, but I wanted to see the goods.

But this was where the fantasy fell apart. They weren’t stripping to tease and please me. According to the hair sprouting from their backs, the way the musculature and bones in their bodies shifted, they were going into wolfman mode.

Still rather fascinating.

I scrambled to my feet and noted that they faced off against a hovering Spinerella, her eyes still white as snow, her lips the bright red of blood, the stain of it dripping down her chin.

A sobbing person held a hand to his neck while another supported him screaming, “Call an ambulance.”

It appeared I was off the menu, as a hungry Spinerella had chosen to snack on someone else.

Oh, hell no. This was supposed to be my gig.

Dumping the shirts, I pushed my way between furry bodies, or meant to. They kept shoving me behind them.

“Stay still,” growled Dale. A real growl this time.

“Don’t make me eat you,” snarled Mike.

“Sebastian already did.” I never could keep my mouth shut.

Two shaggy heads swiveled, and Sebastian, despite his muzzle, managed to smirk. “She was delicious.”

Because I didn’t like the smugness in his tone or expression, I couldn’t help but add, “It was nice.”

More conversation on that topic would have to wait. Spinerella took that moment to dive at us, and by us, I meant me.

She still likes me best!

She swooped over their heads, hands outstretched for yours truly.

Wishing once again I had my machete, I had to make do. I threw a book. A big book, a Stephen King one with lots of weight that she batted aside, but it proved distraction enough for Dale to spring up and grab the librarian by the legs.

Then Mike was in there, too, holding an arm while Sebastian grabbed the other.

I didn’t quite know what they expected to do, pull on her until she split? Kind of gross, but hey, if it worked, I wouldn’t knock it.

A warm breeze suddenly brushed past me, smelling of springtime flowers and green grass. A voice, deep and resonant, uttered, “Sleep.”

One word. One disappointing word that made me yawn, and Spinerella went limp and would have collapsed except my trio of wolfmen caught her and lay her down on the floor.

A curiosity to know who had spoken had me turning around. I glimpsed a man, tall and gray-haired, the strands pulled back into a ponytail, his features sharp, his attitude cocky judging by his smirk. He wore a slate-gray suit with a mauve shirt.

“You can unhand the female,” he declared, waving his hand most pompously. “She’s harmless now.”

“Show off,” muttered a very pretty redhead, who pushed past him.

“It’s not showing off, it’s merely a standard skill for a true magical practitioner,” he replied as the woman made her way slowly to the librarian’s side.

“A sleep dart would have worked just as well and drawn less attention,” the redhead sniped. “Or have you forgotten there is still an audience around?”

“Not for long.” The man in the suit did some strange thing with his fingers and said a few low words before sweeping his hands out and shouting, “Be gone!”

The people who remained gawking suddenly got moving, rushing for the doors. I almost followed. My feet even took a step, but I shook it off.

The action was here, which meant I would remain.

The auburn-haired woman had reached the fallen librarian, and yet she didn’t touch her, choosing instead to circle around before saying, “Are you sure the spell you cast worked, Morfeus?”

“Are you questioning me, hearth witch?” The disdain in his tone couldn’t have been clearer.

“There’s something wrong with her aura.” The woman crouched a few feet away and frowned at the now sleeping Spinerella.

“Obviously, her aura is tainted,” Morfeus said snottily. “She is possessed like the other fellow in the sanatorium. Or had you not noticed she showed some of the same traits?”

“You mean the floating and wanting to eat people thing.” I spoke, and yet Morfeus acted as if I hadn’t, striding past me to crouch by Spinerella.

He waved his hand over her face, the edges of it glowing yellow.

I wasn’t the only one to visibly start when her eyes opened wide, the red glow in them back and more pronounced. Her lips stretched, wide, then wider still, displaying some awfully large and jagged teeth.

The librarian cackled, and not in a nice old lady kind of way. “Silly little wizard. Thinks he can put me to sleep.”

“Foul creature inhabiting this body, remove yourself at once.”

Spoken with the right degree of imperialism, but the thing possessing the woman remained unimpressed.

“You don’t have the power to remove me. I’ve tasted Wiccan blood. I’m stronger now. Too strong for the likes of you to cast out.”

“We shall see about that.” He held out his hand, and it began to glow white.

I was probably the only one who said “oooh” in a delighted way when an impossibly long tongue emerged from her mouth to lick his palm.

“Smells so yummy. Yummier than a witch. I think I shall have wizard for supper.”

Before Morfeus could recoil, Spinerella grabbed him and went for his neck.

The wizard dude bellowed, and I might have shrieked—in excitement because, holy shit, I had a live-action horror movie happening in front of me.

The redhead looked appalled.

“Do something!” Dale barked, growled, or whatever it was he did in wolfman form. I could understand him, but he had a definite Lycan accent.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “My teachings didn’t cover this.”

My movies, on the other hand, did. I grabbed hold of the letter opener on the desk and ran with a scream at the librarian.

I was caught before I made it two steps. “Let me at her!” I yelled, waving around my eight-inch sword.

Mike held me as Sebastian and Dale went to rescue the wizard dude, who didn’t look so snooty anymore with someone snacking on his neck. They tackled her, ripping her off the guy.

I had to give him props. Despite the pain, and the blood, the wizard stood up and snarled, “Move aside or share her fate!”

Apparently, this was one dude you didn’t want to ignore. Dale and Sebastian dove away, leaving Spinerella standing alone, her lips covered in blood, her eyes glowing with madness.

As she smiled, her teeth dripping red, she screeched, “Time for dessert.”

The wizard thrust out his hands and muttered something guttural—and three-quarters gibberish I was sure—and an orange ball of fire formed in front of him.

Pretty.

That momentary elation lasted only until the ball Morfeus flung hit an opaque shield the demon held up at the last moment. The fireball got flung back!

“Duck!” someone shouted.

The shit disturber in kindergarten, I always yelled “goose” just to cause chaos. I didn’t get a chance this time because Mike smooshed me to the floor.

The fireball singed overhead and hit the stone columns alongside the doors. It caused a tremble in the building.

It also made a certain Spinerella cackle. “Miss me, miss me, now you have to feed me.”

“Hearth witch, make yourself useful,” barked the wizard.

I heard more guttural chanting, joined by a more tentative female voice. It reached a crescendo, and something in the air prickled my skin. Even with my face pressed down, I could see a red glow at the edges of my vision. A big fireball that Mike wouldn’t roll over to let me see.

Whoosh. I could practically hear it burn the air as it was launched, and the librarian screeched. “You might win today, but we are—”

Splat. She never got to finish her speech as meat chunks rained down on us.

Gross.

Standing, Mike held out a hand to help me up, his wolfman gone again, his bare upper body splattered in red but not as covered in guts as Sebastian and Dale. Their fur stood in goopy spikes with the amount they had absorbed.

I wrinkled my nose. “You both need a bath.” Actually, we all did. I clapped my hands and rounded on Morfeus. “Dude, that was epic. I mean, I was a little worried when that first fireball got tossed back, but you pulled through with the help of Red over there. Good job.” I finished with more clapping and a whistle of appreciation.

“Who is this annoying female?” the wizard snapped.

“Who are you?” I fired back. I knew his name, and the whole wizard bit, but what was he? I didn’t get the impression he was entirely human.

Striking electric blue eyes focused on me. “None of your business, human.”

And with a snap of his fingers, I passed out.