Chapter 20
Danielle
I saw them. The pair of them. Veronica half naked. Roger clothed, but his body pressed against hers, his hands touching her, her shoulders, her neck.
Then, the tears came, and I saw no more.
I don’t know how I made it out of the hotel without breaking something. Everything was a blur. The startled faces of my co-workers, Rita’s worried frown, the false smile of the bellhop, and then – New York City.
I didn’t make it far. A café down the road. Small. Cramped. Private due to the raucous crowd. I wiped my face with a bunch of napkins, ordered a soda, and then, with trembling fingers, pulled out my cell phone.
Who was I going to call? Roger? No. I never wanted to talk to him again.
Veronica? She would be even worse. After all this time, she turned out to be right – Roger was only interested in the sex. Look how easily he had turned to fuck Veronica.
And what other friends did I have in New York City?
As I hesitated, my phone being to buzz in my hands, and I jumped so high I practically spilled the drink the waitress had just handed me. I glanced at it, saw it was Roger, and promptly hung up.
No, I thought. You’ll not trick me anymore. I’m done with you, and everyone like you.
Which finally gave me an idea of whom to call.
I didn’t need another friend in New York. I needed friends outside it. Fuck New York. And everyone in it.
I held up my phone again and dialed for Jacob.
“Hey, Danielle! What’s up? Conquering the world?”
“No,” I said simply, and in an instant he sensed something was wrong.
“Oh, no. What happened?”
With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, threatening to choke me, I launched into my story.
Jacob listened attentively, and by the time I reached the scene in Roger’s apartment, he gasped aloud.
“Danielle,” he interrupted gently, “I think maybe Veronica was tricking you somehow. Obviously, she wanted you to come into the apartment right when you did.”
“So?” I shouted back, too upset to really think about what he was saying. “It doesn’t matter why they were together! Just that they were together!”
“Okay,” Jacob said, in a small voice. He always knew when to push me, and when to back off. The thought made my heart swell with love for him and the rest of my family, which cemented my decision.
“Come take me home, Jacob,” I said. “Take me back to Vermont.”
* * *
I went back to the apartment to pack. I hadn’t arrived with much, so it didn’t take long, and I was so angry and sad that there were several things I just decided to ignore. Thankfully, Veronica did not return while I was working. Part of me wondered if it was her actually being nice – she must have known how upset I’d be – but the rest of me was too weary to care.
I went out and waited on the couch for Jacob to arrive. It would be hours, I knew, but I didn’t care. I was too tired to do anything else – read or watch TV or go anywhere or anything – but I also could not have closed my eyes and slept right then, even if someone had paid me. Instead, I just stared and stared, sometimes crying, sometimes my eyes itching with dryness, and waited.
Am I right in leaving? Every now and again my frazzled mind would offer. Think of all you’re giving up.
That was true. Technically, Roger hadn’t fired me from my new job. In fact, he probably wanted to keep me there, in case I was ever interested in fucking him again. I’m sure he had a whole slew of pretty young girls who felt like they owed him a favor. It seemed crazy to me that I could even think about Roger in such a light – not yesterday, I was half-convinced I loved him – but now I had seen his real colors. He was exactly what everyone would expect.
And even though I probably could have kept my job, I would not want to face him, day in and day out. Not because I was worried I’d be angry and sad the whole time – I could handle that – but because I was afraid that, deep down, that smile and those eyes would have me begging to go back with him.
No. Absolutely not.
So if I didn’t have a job, I also couldn’t afford to rent for much longer. And I could not rely on Veronica’s generosity. Hell, I’d have just as much a hard time facing her as Roger – though for different reasons. I was mad at her, yes. She betrayed me by sleeping with him. But most of all, I was mad at her for being right. She had read Roger’s motives truly, and that made me feel not only sad, but stupid and weak.
All of this left me only one choice, really:
I needed to go back to Vermont.
At last, Jacob arrived. He stood at the curb, and looked me right in the eye.
“Are you sure?” He asked.
I nodded.
After that, he didn’t say anything. He just swept me right up into a hug that told me everything I needed to know. My tears stained the soft fabric of his shirt, but I managed not to sob. Together, we loaded the car in silence, and then we were heading home.
Goodbye, New York, and good riddance, I thought, as the city lights faded and the empty roads of upstate unfolded before us. I won’t miss you.
But deep down, I knew that was a lie.