CHAPTER 3

Boyce

I worked late into the night after dinner, thinking about the encounter with Vivian. While she was the same age as my own daughter, Vivian was an old soul and I saw questions in her eyes that I wasn’t ready to answer. I hid the fact that I was seeing women from Bella since she was gone so much more than Vivian, but I allowed them in the house when Vivian was there. I knew how loud it got sometimes and felt bad, but I liked rough sex. With Nora it was always loving, but anyone else seemed to feel like a punishment to me. It was just to scratch an itch and I threw them out the moment we were finished.

I wondered how I was affecting Vivian with this. She was close to being a teenager now and going through hormones and emotions. I knew that she must feel some confusion at the new sensations in her body and I might be harming her with my behavior. I wondered if she slept with Dean and pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose as I took a deep breath. Older boys didn’t want anything with girls that far behind them except for a hole to fuck. They were going through their own issues and fuck if I didn’t remember being a high school boy. I fucked everything in sight without a care and now it created so much concern for Bella and Vivian. I didn’t want the same thing done to them, particularly since I was now shouldered with the safety of Vivian. It wasn’t that I minded or was ever resentful of the fact, but I felt more pressure from it. I also felt guilt for finding her so beautiful.

I waited until I was exhausted before shutting down the laptop and heading upstairs. I got shit for work done anyway and I veered towards the kitchen for a beer before I made the descent up the stairs. I stepped out onto the balcony and took a deep breath of the cool air, looking around the sky as I tried to push the day away from me.

I showered and crawled into the big bed, thinking how lonely it felt tonight. I could call a woman to come over, but my daughter was home. She needed to think that I was concerned about her and not thinking of my sex life. I had to be a responsible father and that included not thinking the wrong things about her best friend. I tossed and turned for an hour before I finally fell asleep, telling myself to sleep in and not miss work. The girls got a ride with a friend to school most mornings as well as afternoons, depending on what they had going on. Anne was always around the house if something urgent came up and I needed to keep the office going. I needed to distract myself from the thoughts that were threatening to take it over.

I woke up after hitting the alarm a few times, rising to dress in slacks and a shirt in the quiet house. I added a tie before I went down to make some coffee, greeting Anne as she worked on the day’s meals. Her husband was a long-haul truck driver and she enjoyed keeping busy just like I did. She poured me a travel cup as I nibbled on some toast and asked her what the girls had planned today.

I wasn’t shocked when I found out that Bella would be at school late and Vivian should be home in the afternoon. I told Anne that I might be at the office late tonight and she agreed to stay at the house as I slipped a coat on to leave. I drove into Maryland every day to work and sipped my coffee as I drove, catching up on the latest news. I walked into my building located blocks away from the Inner Harbor and took the elevator to the tenth floor, greeting my staff as I stepped off. I wasn’t an asshole of a boss, but I was tough. I wanted everything to run without a problem and everyone knew that as they smiled and told me the usual morning things. I stopped to make some coffee in the break room and took it to my office as I set my briefcase down. I looked outside, reminding myself that it was a new day and I could make everything normal again.

I took care of some of the new deals since I handled a lot of the clients myself. I had a long background in architecture and was trusted in this industry, taking on a much more active role than just a CEO. I knew that I spent too much time here after losing Nora and that Bella was left with Anne and the nanny. I wasn’t proud of that, but I knew she had Vivian. I knew that she was the one that Bella would talk to, anyway. While I loved my daughter and we were close, she was trying to be strong for me. Bella never acted with me like a little girl that lost her mother, but someone that needed to take care of her remaining parent. That hurt me when I realized that she was working so hard to hide her own pain, so I took to working long hours. I distracted myself. I did everything that I could that wasn’t sabotaging my life to not think about everything that happened.

In that time, I made a lot of money and put some away for Bella’s college fund. I added to Vivian’s fund as well even though her parents were prepared for their premature death. They set her up well, but I could always do more and with the long hours I was working and the money that was being made, I took care of both of my girls.

They were my girls when Vivian initially moved in with me. When had that changed?

I sat down to get some work done, throwing myself into the emails and phone calls as I always did. I found the email telling me that my amazing assistant would soon be going on her maternity leave for six months, biting my lip as I considered my options. I knew that Bella was far too busy with school and life to help, but Vivian was always so good about helping as needed. She did often in the summer or on school breaks and I knew that she’d be willing to come in on their holiday break in a few weeks. I continued with my clients, ordering delivery for lunch so I could keep working.

Vivian said yes that night as she did for the following years to come. I could see the need to help me in her eyes, her desire to pay me back for something that I had no hesitation about doing. I had a car pick her up when she was younger and even though the girls got cars once they acquired licenses, I still had my driver pick Vivian up. James was trustworthy, and he valued those that I was close to. I watched her grow up even more, taking care to learn everything that she was being taught and do one of the best jobs that I’d seen in my entire life.

However, the older that Vivian got made it that much harder to tame my thoughts about her. I knew that she was dating boys. I saw both girls on their phones a lot, giggling. They got phones in their last year of middle school, mostly for Bella’s sake since she was just getting busier. I saw Vivian leave in her Range Rover often just after dinner and there were times she never came home from school at all. While still being something of a homebody, she was experimenting with her life.

I used my thoughts about that with other women, fucking them hard when I’d bring someone over. I’d taken to using an apartment that I bought in the city for the later nights in the office, and I’d make the women scream my name. They never knew that it was Vivian that I was picturing. They never knew that they were being used in such a way.