Chapter Twenty-One
Payton
He’s here.
I knew it, felt it, the moment he hit The Beaver. No, that’s not a euphemism for something dirty. My body was on high alert and my lady parts started to tingle. When I looked out the window and saw him sit down beside Ryan, I’m pretty sure I started to pant. And that’s what drew the attention of my sisters who all ran to the window to gawk at the newest piece of man candy to grace a Summer sisters outing.
My newly glazed, brightly painted vase is drying on the rack. I love paint nights with my sisters. Even though I suck, it’s a huge stress reliever to paint. And it does help that the instructor often walks around and helps fix my mistakes. So at least when I leave, I’m not completely embarrassed by the finished product.
Jaime’s the first one out the door. She’s practically sprinting towards Ryan. “Hey, babe!” she hollers, sliding onto the empty stool on the other side of her man.
“You’re gorgeous, and pleasantly tipsy,” he says with a huge smile before kissing her soundly.
“Stop that! It’s sisters’ night! No boys, remember?” AJ chastises.
“Normally, I’d be on your side, AJ, but not tonight,” I say as I approach Dean. He looks so handsome in his white button-up shirt and dark blue jeans. He’s wearing his glasses, which does weird things to my lady parts.
“I’m not wearing any panties,” I confess against his ear, my lips grazing along the shell of his lobe.
He responds with a gasp and a cough that’s an attempt to cover his groan. His eyes are dilated already and his smile predatory.
“No having sex at The Beaver, ladies.” This from Lexi who’s tipsier than normal. “Where’s Chris? I told him to have his ass to The Beaver tonight or else he wasn’t getting the beaver any more. Not ever. I’m officially cutting off the beaver. He’s done.”
“Stop saying beaver,” Abby requests. “It’s gross.”
“I told him I was getting hammered. He had strict orders to pick me up and sex me down tonight. It’s baby-making night, dammit! I’m ovulating!” Lexi slurs as she props her hip against an occupied barstool. Fortunately, the guy who’s sitting there just shuffles over a bit and lets her lean on him.
“Hey, where’s Josh?” Meghan asks, looking around to the other side of Ryan.
“Uhhh, we haven’t seen him yet tonight,” he answers.
“That’s weird. He texted me an hour ago and said he was on his way,” she says absently while grabbing her phone.
“It’s really odd that Josh isn’t here yet. He’s usually the first one to crash our night, but even when he’s running behind, he’s always here by the time we’re done with our outing,” I tell Dean.
“Did you have fun? Your vase looks like it should be displayed in a museum.”
“Are you kidding me? How much have you had to drink tonight?” I ask with a laugh. “I suck, I know. You don’t have to kiss my ass to get laid tonight. That’s a definite,” I add with a smirk.
“Can you two hold off longer than Ry and Jaime tonight?” Lexi asks, interrupting us and leaning into my arm. “Because those two will barely make it out of the parking lot before the sexing starts. Since my own husband doesn’t care to make sure I get home, I’m going to need a ride and I’m hoping you two are a safer bet.”
Dean grins warmly at my drunk little sister. “You can have a ride, but I can’t promise you anything on the sexing part.”
Lexi groans. “Payton Ann! You’re rubbing off on poor Dean. He probably never used the word sexing in his life, but he hangs around you for two minutes and now he’s a regular dirty word maker-upper like you!”
“Um, actually, that’s your word,” I reply to Lexi.
“Oh, yeah, it is. My bad, Dean. I’m rubbing off on you. I like you. I think I’ll keep you.”
“Actually, I think I’ll keep him. You already have a man.”
“My man sucks donkey balls, Payton!” she practically hollers, drawing the attention of our sisters and others around us. “Oh my God! I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I’m such a horrible wife, aren’t I? I am. I’m horrible.”
“You’re not horrible, Lexi, you’re just frustrated. That’s completely understandable.”
“Did you tell Dean you weren’t wearing any panties yet? Dean, she’s not wearing any panties,” Lexi yells to the bar.
He laughs at my sister’s antics. “She did tell me. I’m very excited about the no panties bit,” he says with a smile.
“Good. Because someone should definitely be sexing tonight since it won’t be me. Ryan and Jaime will be sexing, but they always have the sex. Someday my twin and her Levi will be sexing too. I know it. They both want the sex, but won’t get off their asses and just have the sex.” Yeah, that drew the attention of Abby.
“I’m not going to have sex with Levi. We’re friends.”
“Friends shmends.”
“Stop calling it the sex. You sound like Grandma,” Abby retorts.
Lexi gawks at her, wide-eyed and shell-shocked. “What did you say?”
“She’s kinda right. Grandma always calls it ‘the sex.’ She’s rubbing off on you,” AJ adds.
“Fuck. I sound like Grandma!” Lexi declares with a sour look.
“I’m sorry my family is so crazy. I’d like to say that this isn’t normal behavior, but it really is. My sisters are nuts, but they’re the best.” My mouth is close to Dean’s ear so that he can hear me over the excessive noise in the bar.
“You’re family’s great. I’m an only child so this level of chaos is new and exciting for me.”
“You should see us at a dinner where my grandparents are present. They add a level of craziness that’s unprecedented.”
“Can’t wait to officially meet them,” he says with a warm smile, and I can’t help but grin back.
He’s touching my back, running his hand up and down while we talk. His cologne tickles my nose and makes me want to lean further into his embrace. I still haven’t ordered a fresh drink so I use my empty hand and snake it around his waist. We’re close–and in public, I might add, but I don’t care. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the fact that I’m just okay with a little PDA with Dean.
Crazy, right?
“Guys, I can’t get a hold of Josh. He’s not answering his phone,” Meghan says, pulling my attention away from Dean’s brown eyes and towards a pair of very worried green ones.
“I’m sure everything’s fine, Meg. He probably got called back to work or something,” Abby adds.
“To the bank? What could he possibly be called back to work for on a Saturday night?”
“Maybe he forgot where we were painting the pottery stuff tonight,” I say, trying to calm down Meghan. She’s definitely getting herself worked up.
“He told me he was on his way here, Pay. And now he’s not answering his phone or texts.” She gazes down at the phone in her hand, silently begging it to ring.
“I’m sure he’s fine, Meggy. Don’t get worked up until you have a reason to,” Lexi says, sounding a little more sober than she did just moments ago.
The front door of the bar opens up and a couple walks in, shaking the rain off their jackets. The lights have flickered a few times over the course of our pottery night, but we’ve never lost power. The wind has been howling and the thunder shaking the building, but we’ve been inside the entire time so haven’t dealt with the effects of the storm.
“Holy cow, it’s really coming down out there,” the woman says to the crowd at large. “We had a hard time getting here. Main Street is shut down at the edge of town because of a big accident. We had to drive around the Perry farm in order to get here.”
“How bad of an accident?” a man sitting near Ryan asks.
“Bad. Multiple cars. I heard it was head-on,” she says.
I step forward to flag down one of the bartenders when I feel a hand on my forearm. My heart stops beating when I see Meghan’s stricken face. “We need to go.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, confusion mixing with my panic.
“It’s Josh. Something’s wrong, Pay, I feel it.”
I stare at my sister for several heartbeats, not sure what to do. Josh could walk in the door any moment, and we’ll all have a good laugh at Meghan’s paranoia. “Meg, maybe he’s just stuck somewhere. That other couple said they had a hard time getting here. Plus, it’s storming. I’m sure he’s just tied up with the accident.”
“Payton, he is the accident. I can feel it.” Her voice drops and I almost don’t hear her words. But I do. I hear them, and I’ll never forget the way my body shivers. Tears start to fill her eyes and something clenches in my stomach. She’s certain, and until we find out differently, there’s not going to be any way of convincing her otherwise.
“Okay. Okay.” What to do? “Dean?” I start to ask, turning towards my guy for guidance.
“I’m on it,” he says to me, worry marring his handsome features. What once was a light and fun gathering has turned stormy and dark, and until we have answers, I know that none of us will be able to enjoy the rest of our evening.
Dean’s on the phone with the local hospital, not getting anywhere because he’s not family, when Meghan’s cell phone rings. Her hand is trembling as she brings it to her ear and whispers a hoarse greeting.
“This is she,” she says into the phone. Moments later, I can see it. The color drains from her face and her body practically goes limp. Ryan is there, grabbing a hold of her arm to keep her from going down all the way, and I grab her phone.
“This is Meghan’s sister, Payton,” I direct into the phone.
“This is Jupiter Bay Hospital. We have a man here named Joshua Harrison who was brought into the emergency room via ambulance. He’s in critical condition but asking for Meghan Summer.”
“We’re on our way,” I say as I disconnect the phone.
Dean is standing with Meghan, on the opposite side of Ryan, both of them holding her up while she cries. “Hospital. Now.” Those two words cause a flurry of activity. Abby and AJ start grabbing purses and jackets, while Jaime throws cash down on the bar. Dean and Ryan each help guide Meghan towards the exit. I don’t even tell the instructor that we’ll be back another time to get our finished product. I couldn’t care less about those vases right now. Getting to the hospital is more important.
Outside, the storm is blowing, rain pelting us like tiny sledgehammers. “My car is right there,” Dean says as they make their way towards his vehicle.
“AJ and Abby, go with Ryan and Jaime. Lexi, get in the front seat with Dean,” I instruct. No one questions my orders; everyone just follows suit. Before we all separate, I see the anguish mirrored in the eyes of my sisters. While Ryan helps Meghan buckle her seatbelt, my sisters all plead with their eyes to make this okay. As the oldest, I’ve always been the fixer.
But, my God, I can’t fix this.
“He’s going to be okay,” I tell them, praying with everything I have that my words are true.
Piling in the back seat beside my sister, I try to console her, but she’s crying too hard to pay attention to me right now. So, instead, I hold her. My shirt is soaked from the rain and the tears, but I don’t care. Dean is driving as fast as he can to safely get us to the hospital, while I hear Lexi make a call to our dad. After a very short conversation in a hushed voice, our eyes meet across the car and I know she feels it too: gut-clenching fear.
Dean pulls into the circle drive in front of the emergency department. Before he even has it in park, we’re piling out of the car, Ryan’s truck parked right behind us. The six of us head towards the automatic sliding doors that lead to the entrance of the hospital.
“We’ll park the vehicles and be right in,” Ryan hollers as he and Dean go to move from the emergency entrance.
“Josh. Joshua Harrison. He was brought in a little while ago from a car accident,” Meghan says evenly as we approach the desk just inside the front door.
“And you are?” the older woman asks, glancing up from her computer.
“Meghan Summer. Someone called me.”
The woman types on the keyboard in front of her. When she glances up, she says, “There’s a private family area right through that doorway. Have a seat for a moment, and I’ll go get someone to help you.” Then she scurries away quickly through the closed door of the emergency room.
“Come on, Meg. Let’s have a seat,” Abby says gently, leading us all through the doorway and into the empty room.
“I can’t sit. I need to see him,” Meghan pleads with angst eyes.
“Someone will be out soon,” I add as the guys come rushing in from the parking lot.
Dean’s arms are around me instantly, warm and comforting. I lean into his embrace, calling upon every ounce of strength I possess to be strong for my sister. We don’t even know anything yet, but I don’t have a good feeling about this. My gut tells me something is drastically wrong, and I don’t have a clue what to do about it.
A few moments later, Dad comes rushing into the room with Grandma and Grandpa hot on his heels. They all look disheveled, and I’m pretty sure my grandparents are still in their pajamas, but no one seems to care. Dad pulls Meghan into a hug as a man in blue scrubs and a white jacket comes into the room.
“Meghan Summer?”
“That’s me,” she says, her voice wavering and cracking. We all gather around while the doctor steps forward.
“Would you like to go somewhere to talk?”
“No, whatever you need to say can be said in front of my family.”
“All right. Mr. Harrison was in a car accident this evening and has a fractured leg, arm, and lacerations to his face and chest. But our biggest concern is a TBI, or traumatic brain injury. It’s caused from his brain jarring against his skull during impact. We know there is blood and a lot of swelling in the frontal lobe. There’s also internal bleeding in his chest. He was pinned between the steering wheel and his seat when the vehicle was crushed causing damage to his liver, as well as blood around his heart. I’m afraid we must get him into surgery as soon as possible to see how extensive the damage to both his chest and the brain. We have paged a neurosurgeon along with our chief surgeon, and as soon as they are ready, we’ll get him prepped for surgery.”
“That sounds bad,” Meghan whispers, sniffling, as the tears continue fall.
“His condition is very critical, Miss Summer. You should know that this surgery is both lifesaving, but also very complicated. There are a lot of injuries to major organs, and when you add them all together, well a lot could go wrong with a surgery of this magnitude.”
“What are his odds?” my dad asks from his position beside Meghan.
The doctor hesitates. We all see it. “We’re going to do everything we can for Mr. Harrison. We’re ready to get him to the OR and prepped for surgery. He has been in and out of consciousness, and even though we’ve tried to sedate him, he refuses until he gets to see you first. It’ll have to be a very short visit, but you can come in while we prep Mr. Harrison to be moved.”
“Thank you,” she replies, latching on to Dad’s hand. Together, they walk towards the closed doors. Before they can enter the emergency room, Meghan turns. “Oh, my phone.”
“I have it,” I say, pulling it from my pocket.
“Someone needs to call his parents.”
“I’ll do it,” Grandma says, stepping forward and reaching for the phone in my hand.
“John and Angie,” she says before turning and disappearing behind the doorway.
I don’t pay attention to Grandma as she walks across the room to make the call that none of us wants to make. Instead, I head over to one of the hard plastic chairs against the stark-white wall. Dean is there, holding my hand as we wait. There’s no conversations, no small talk, no noise except for the ticking of the wall clock. We all sit or stand, anxiously awaiting word of Josh’s condition. My hand is warm where he holds it tightly in his own, the silent gesture of support appreciated more than he’ll ever know.
It seems like only a matter of minutes before Meghan and Dad are back from the ER. She looks completely stricken, heartbroken and inconsolable. I instantly worry that something happened while they were inside.
“They’re taking him into surgery now. They said they’d keep us updated, but they won’t know the extent of some of the injuries until they get him opened up,” Dad says, steering his daughter towards the floral patterned vinyl covered loveseat. “Someone will be in shortly to move us up to a waiting room by the OR.”
Meghan stares at the ground, completely ignoring everyone and everything around her. I suppose if I were in her shoes, I’d be the same way. Just the thought of Dean being on the other side of that wall makes my heart bleed and the lump lodged in my throat suffocating. Sitting here, surrounded by the scent of sterile chemicals and stale coffee, I know I’m completely in love with him.
I just wish I knew what to do about it.
After months of dancing around emotions and each other, we’ve finally decided to give a relationship a try. And what does it give me? Clarity. Clearly we’ve been working towards this place for a while now. Everything was fast-tracked in Richmond. The slow dance we partook in led us right here: to the big L.
I’m not certain he feels the same, but he might. I’ve seen the way he looks at me. I’m not so dense that I haven’t felt his eyes on me or swooned at the smile he gives me when he thinks I’m not looking. Something has been brewing for a while now, and I know he feels it too.
His arm wraps around my shoulder, pulling me into his embrace. My head connects with his chest, his heart beating strong against my ear. I try to relax, taking deep cleansing breaths in and out. Unfortunately, the calming effect only lasts a few moments before the reality of the situation rears its ugly head again.
After about twenty minutes, we’re moved to another room. This one is larger with old copies of magazines on the tables and a television on mute in the corner that’s on some news channel. Not long after that, the door opens and Josh’s parents run in. I’ve met them both on a few occasions where our family gathers with his family and they seem like great people. Like their son.
Angie is hysterical and clings to Meghan as if she were a lifeline. They’re both speaking through their sobs, but I’m unable to tell what they’re saying. John goes over to my dad and grandparents first. My dad fills him in on the information that the doctor gave before taking Josh to surgery. Once he has all of the details, John settles into the chair beside his wife and holds her.
The minutes crawl by at a snail’s pace. Ryan and Jaime are over with AJ and Lexi, while Abby is curled into our father’s arms. Meghan still sits in a chair, rocking and praying. Her eyes are glued to the floor, but when they do finally glance around the room, they look so haunted and empty.
Dean has been stationed beside me since we arrived almost one hour ago. His presence is not only comforting, but necessary. He’s the very air I breathe, and I’m not sure I’d be able to keep my sanity without him here.
We’ve made small talk to help pass the time. Five seconds after our conversations, however, I’ve already forgotten what was discussed. My mind just keeps replaying everything about this night, from hearing about the accident all the way to waiting out the surgery. How can we go from drinking and painting, laughing and have a great time, to this?
It seems like an eternity before the door finally opens. The doctor from earlier, along with another man in scrubs, come in, their faces void of emotions. We all stand up. The room is silent except that stupid ticking of the clock on the wall. No one moves, no one breathes. When their eyes lock on Meghan’s, I know.
I know.
And she does too.
The worst cry I’ve ever heard erupts from my sister, her legs refuse to hold her body up any longer. Mrs. Harrison wails beside her before collapsing on the floor right next to Meghan. They cling to each other tightly, neither of them ready for the words that will haunt them until their dying day.
John and my dad each help the ladies up off the floor and guide them into chairs. Both doctors sit across from them, speaking softly in hushed tones. Finally, Meghan looks up and shakes her head.
“I’m Dr. Lopez, the neurosurgeon for Jupiter Bay Hospital. My team, along with that of Dr. Beck, did everything we could for Mr. Harrison. Unfortunately, the extent of his injuries to his chest, as well as the damage to his brain, was too severe. He passed away in surgery while we were trying to stop the bleeding.”
Meghan’s head drops, her shoulders shaking from the force of her crying. I tune out the rest of their conversation and everyone around me. The weight of what has happened is too much to bear. I turn into Dean’s arms and cry. I cry for my sister, for the beautiful soul that was Josh, for his parents and siblings, as well as our own family, who has grown to love that man as if he had always been a part of it.
There will never be another Josh Harrison.
Ever.
My heart is completely broken.