“So, I guess that’s that then. You’re not going to let me off the hook,” Aiden said. He’d never been in a position like this before. Hopelessness washed over him. He was losing her. Hell, did he ever really have her in the first place?
“I…I do forgive you,” Lily said finally.
His eyes widened and then he smiled as relief flooded him. Unfortunately, there was more to confess. If Lily was to forgive him fully, she had to know everything. Time to throw caution to the wind and lay all his cards on the table. No more lies. Lily meant too much to him.
This was a first. He didn’t think of himself as a dishonest man, but because he was often surrounded by murderers and thieves and other not so nice people, deception came easily. Too easily. It had become his default after so many years. But Lily brought something out in him he hadn’t felt in a long time, and that was the desire to be a good man, a man of integrity—not just a tough guy whose most dominant character trait was cynicism.
“I have something I need to tell you.” His words were slow and deliberate.
Lily looked at him squinty-eyed, forehead furrowed. “Something bad?”
He looked away for an instant, gathered himself, then faced her again. “I hope you won’t take it that way, but there are a few more things I need to tell you because I want you to forgive me for everything. I’m not going to keep anything from you, Lily.”
She sat up straighter, her face a mask of fortitude. He could tell she was trying not to look upset. “I’m listening.”
Aiden cleared his throat and began, “OK. Um, first things first, I’m ashamed to admit this, but I hired that thug who terrorized you at the diner just so I could rush in at the last minute and be a hero. You know, to get into your good graces so you’d trust me. But I swear to you, Lily, he never would have harmed a hair on your head. I told him to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”
Anger curled her fingers into fists. “OK.” Her tone was icy.
He could see the wheels turning. She was weighing things in her mind. “What are you thinking?”
She huffed and shook her head. “That I threw a pot of scalding coffee in this guy’s face and cracked the umbrella stand across the back of his neck. Probably really hurt him.” She sighed. “But then again, any man willing to take a job that involves terrifying a woman deserves what he got.”
Aiden laughed with relief. He noticed her shoulders fall and her hands unclench. He was afraid she was going to tell him to take her to back to town, that she’d sleep in her office at the diner.
“I’m sorry, Lily. God, I’m such an ass. Being a private investigator has made me cynical and untrusting of everyone. But it’s all I’ve ever known, all I know how to do.”
He leaned close to kiss her, but she turned away. He wasn’t off the hook just yet.
“Was everything you told me the last time I was here, the night we…was it all lies?”
“Most of it was true. Everything I said about my parents was true. What wasn’t true was that I was ever in love, ever engaged. I didn’t want to get married, that is until I met you, but right now, you probably hate my guts.” He paused and turned her face to him with a finger. “I’m falling in love with you.”
Despite her apparent anger, a smile found its way to her lips, but she remained silent.
“Don’t leave me hanging. I’ve never said those words to anyone before.” The fire of embarrassment crept up from his collar until he could feel his cheeks burning. The power had shifted, and the ball was clearly in her court.
Finally, she spoke. “I don’t think I could take another heartbreak.”
He slid over to her and pulled her into his arms. “I won’t ever hurt you again.” Aiden entwined a hand in her hair and pressed her close to him with the other. This time she let him kiss her.
Why couldn’t she say those three little words? He’d opened up to her and let himself be vulnerable, but she just couldn’t let her guard down completely. She saw the disappointment in his eyes and that he pretended to be fine. She pretended too.
But their time together was not without its merits. Now, with nothing hanging over their heads, no hidden agenda, they chatted. It was as if she was getting to know him for the first time all over again, but this time it was the real Aiden. The hours passed like minutes.
She even let her guard down enough to be happy for just a while. More than anything, she wanted to look forward to the future and to better times. Despite their conversation, and the fact it calmed her, even made her hopeful, Aiden’s confession and her sister’s murder still weighed heavy on her heart. Would she ever be rid of the black cloud of despair that followed her, nagged her, churned her belly with anxiety? Would she ever feel safe again?
“Are you sure it was one of the Lyonses who killed my sister?” Lily asked.
Aiden took in a deep breath and nodded. “I’d lay money on it. Something Zander said set off alarm bells. He told me Sara wanted an abortion as much as he did, that they were in agreement over it. That stood out because of what you told me. That she wanted the baby. I’m betting Wilkins arrests one of them soon.”
She wanted an end to the accusations as well as justice for her sister, but hearing that Zander lied about Sara wanting an abortion pushed her buttons to the max. There was so much going on inside her, so many emotions—anger, frustration, relief, even joy. She couldn’t help but feel selfish though. She’d gained from Sara’s death in every possible way, inheriting her money and meeting Aiden. Why did it feel so wrong to feel good?
She should be over the moon, jumping up and down with excitement. Hadn’t this been what was missing in her life? Someone to love? She needed to push the destructive emotions away. Stuff them into a dark corner of her mind where she could deal with them later.
“I know talking about your sister depresses you.” Aiden stroked Lily’s cheek. “But there’s more going in that head of yours, isn’t there?”
Hot tears filled her eyes. “I don’t deserve to be happy. I don’t deserve all that money in my bank account, and I don’t deserve you either, Aiden.”
“Sometimes good things come from bad circumstances.”
She wasn’t sure she really believed that. Suddenly, it was as if the walls were closing in. She needed fresh air. “You wanna get out of here? We can take Rex.”
Aiden smiled. “Absolutely.”
* * *
Holy Cross Cemetery was large for a town the size of Higgstown and confusing for those who didn’t know exactly where they were headed. But Lily knew the way, and took Aiden and Rex directly to the grave site she was seeking.
The oldest part of the cemetery was dotted with headstones, some so dilapidated they’d toppled over. In the newer section, flat brass plaques were used with the name of the deceased and two important dates stamped onto the surface.
Lily handed Rex’s leash to Aiden, who took it readily. Crouched down now, she wiped clean two plaques with a Kleenex from her pocket. “This is Mom on the left and Sara on the right,” she said.
Lily kissed her palm and laid it flat on one of the plaques. “Sara, I miss you every day. I love you with all my heart and I’m sick over what happened to you, but I need your blessing before I can go on and live a life with Aiden.” Tears flowed and she blotted them away with the back of her hand. “So, if you could, would you please give me some kind of sign that you approve?”
Then she turned her attention to her mother’s grave. “Mom, I miss you, too. I’m lonely without you and Sara, and sometimes I get jealous knowing you two are together and I’m stuck here trying to find a reason to live. But I’ve met someone.” She smiled and looked up at Aiden. “Just wanted to let you know what’s going on, Mom. I love you and next time, I’ll bring you roses and some tulips for Sara.” She blew each of them a kiss.
Aiden held out a hand to help her to her feet. “You think I’m foolish for thinking they can hear me, don’t you?” she said.
“No. Not if it makes you feel better.”
Lily cupped his face in her hand. “I’ll make a believer out of you yet.”
“I know you’ll give it your best shot.” He smiled. “What now? Wanna grab a cup of coffee or something?”
She shook her head. “No. We’ve got another stop to make.”
* * *
It’s the dead center of town, but everyone’s dying to get in. That stupid line her dad always said when they drove past the cemetery ran through Natalie’s head now as she sat cross-legged under an enormous weeping willow watching Aiden and Lily. The yellowed leaves were beginning to fall, but there were still enough clinging to the large overhanging branches to provide cover. A lot of the snow had melted and the clearing under the tree was free of it, but the earth beneath her was cold and damp, sending a chill up her spine and making her wish she had a blanket to sit on. Her jacket, though warm, was too short to tuck under her butt to help fight the chill.
Every so often, she caressed the cold metal of her father’s Beretta, which weighed heavily in her jacket pocket. This weapon was different from that toy Lily called a gun, with its stupid pearl handle made pretty for a woman. Power surged through her knowing the gun was close. With it she could make anyone do anything.