Chapter 27

    

 

Elle

 

Shock.

As a little kid, learning that the tooth fairy isn’t real can come as a shock.

As a teenager, learning that so much of your paycheck from your first summer job goes to pay taxes can come as a shock. 

As a young adult, learning that people aren’t who they perceive themselves to be can come as a shock. 

I’ve experienced all of these eye-opening events; however, it’s the one in my adult life that not only shocked me, but also nearly killed me.

I woke up yesterday morning determined to get life back to normal after having been traveling and performing at eight different locations over the course of a little over a week.  My best friend offered to make me breakfast before she had to go to work.  While I showered, she made a breakfast for me that had a sedative in it.

She set the meal in front of me, watched me eat it, and then did nothing to help me when I grew dizzy and eventually collapsed on the floor.  She waited, allowing the sedative to work its magic.  She watched as I lost control over my body.  And then she allowed me to listen while she told my boyfriend over the phone that she was going to inject me with a syringe that contained medication that would stop my heart.

It’s a miracle that the shock of realizing the truth about my best friend didn’t make my heart stop instead. 

She was sweet and shy.  She was a tiny, red-headed girl with freckles that showed up when she spent too much time in the sun.  She showed the world an innocent, caring, loving individual; however, the reality is that she is someone completely different. 

She is a fraud. 

She is a liar.

She is a manipulative, calculating bitch.

She is anything but a best friend.

It had been a couple hours over the twenty-four-hour mark since I had breakfast with her.  I found myself flopping back and forth between extraordinarily angry to devastatingly sad.  There was no in between.

When Levi brought me home earlier today and I walked into the kitchen, I stood there staring at the floor where I knew she had hovered over my body with that syringe.  All I could feel was anger and rage.  Once I got in the shower and the warm water hit my body, the anger slowly melted away and was replaced by sadness.  I had never felt such devastation before in my life. 

Levi came in and held me while I cried.  He didn’t ask me to talk about it; he only offered me the support I needed when I needed it.  On one hand I was licking my wounds over losing my best friend and, on the other, I was thanking my lucky stars that Levi had come into my life.  Unfortunately, the feelings I had surrounding the situation with Leah were currently overshadowing those I had for Levi. 

This didn’t mean that I didn’t love Levi.  That couldn’t be further from the truth. It was just that I was having a hard time focusing on anything other than the fact that someone I loved and trusted tried to kill me.

I finished in the shower, threw on fresh clothes, and made my way over to my unpacked bags from the tour.  I rummaged through them and found one of the books I picked up from the bookstore in Denver.  I took the book and went downstairs.

I found a comfortable spot in the living room and sat.  I’m certain Levi was lost at what to do for me, but unfortunately, I couldn’t help him figure that out.  The truth is, I wasn’t sure what I needed when it came to the whole situation.  I opened the book I held in my lap because the only thing I was certain of was that I needed an escape from reality for a little while.

Levi left me to it for a bit until, finally, he interrupted my reading.  Normally, I’d be angry that someone interrupted me while I was reading, but if I was being honest, I’d read through two chapters and had no idea what was going on since my mind was so preoccupied.

“Elle?” he called to get my attention.

I looked up at him from the book. 

“It’s been a while since you’ve eaten.  I was going to make some lunch for the both of us.  Did you want anything special?”

I closed my eyes, shook my head, and shrugged my shoulders before I answered, “As long as it doesn’t have any added sedatives or heart-stopping medication, it’ll be fine.”

“Elle…” he trailed off.

Immediately, I regretted saying that to him.  “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said that.”

Levi walked over to me, put his finger under my chin, and comforted me.  “You don’t have to be sorry, sunshine.  I just don’t want you to ever think that because you trusted one person who did you wrong that anyone else you trust will do the same.  I’d never hurt you, El.”

A single tear fell from my eye. 

“I know,” I whispered.  Then, for some reason I couldn’t understand, I continued, “Why did she do it?  Why did she hate me so much?”

“I wish I could give you that answer, but I don’t know.  I can certainly speculate and give you my opinion.”

More tears fell and I felt another ugly-cry session coming on.  Unfortunately, this time I was unable to leave it at just the crying.   

I shook my head in disbelief as I cried, “How could I have not known that it was my best friend this whole time?  I never suspected her.”

“None of us did, Elle,” he explained as he swiped at my tears using the pad of his thumbs.  “I do this for a living; I didn’t know.  My entire team is trained and they didn’t suspect her.  There’s no way you could have known.  Many people who are wired this way are very good at putting on a show.  They can make others believe that they’re somebody they aren’t.”

“I should have known,” I insisted.

“Don’t do this to yourself.  You didn’t know and you shouldn’t have known.  You shouldn’t have suspected her because she never should have done it.  You were a loving and trusting friend; she didn’t honor that friendship.  I know with it being so fresh in your mind it’s tough to see, but there was nothing you could or should have done differently.  Quite honestly, I think after you give this some time you’ll realize that you’re so much better off without her.  I never liked the way she spoke to you.”

My brows pulled together.  “What do you mean?”

“She was condescending to you all the time.  When we decided to drive instead of fly while on your tour, she had something negative to say about it.  All the posts she made online when she wasn’t trying to be just like you were of her trying to drag you down.  Remember the post you made about Denver?  Why did she need to try to outshine you when she posted several hours later about a place she had been?  She needed to compare that place to Denver to make herself feel better.  You did nothing wrong, sunshine.  You’ve got to believe that.  This was all a competition in her head.”

I took in a deep breath and blew it out, trying to make sense of it all.

“What’s going to happen to her?” I asked.  Part of it was curiosity but, if I was being honest, it was mostly worry.  It made no sense that I was worried about the person who had done what she did to me, but I was.

“I don’t know all of the details yet; however, my best guess would be based on what the police found, the video footage from here yesterday, and the evidence Trent has been collecting online that she’s in a load of serious trouble.  Had yesterday not happened, it would have probably been limited to cyberstalking at worst.  Considering what she did yesterday, cyberstalking is likely the least of her concerns.  I’m guessing she’s looking at attempted murder charges.”

“Oh my God,” I whispered.

“Don’t worry about it now, sunshine.  Tomorrow, I’ll make some calls and see what I can find out.  Try not to think too much about what’s going to happen to her.  I’m sure she had to know that there’d be consequences for her actions.”

“Levi, I wish I knew why.”

He sighed as he pulled me in to his chest and held me tight to his body.  He let me cry a bit.  When I began to settle, he added, “I talked to Dom a little while ago.  He told me a bit more about what happened yesterday.  When he walked in, he heard you ask her why she was doing what she was doing.  Elle, based on her answer, I’m inclined to believe this was all jealousy.  She couldn’t handle you being happy.  You’re living your life feeling fulfilled, waking up every day doing something you love.  You said it yourself -- she wasn’t happy doing the job she’s been doing since she started going to school for it.”

“I knew she wasn’t happy.  I tried to make her see that it wasn’t worth continuing to live a lie.  I supported her one hundred percent.  Why couldn’t she do the same for me?”

“You’re in the spotlight, Elle.  You’re out there.  People see you and they immediately fall in love with you.”

I shook my head in confusion. 

“My guess is that she didn’t like the fact that people adore you the way they do.  I can’t say how it is for her because I really don’t know her all that well, but is it like that for her?  Do people automatically gravitate toward her?”

“All the time,” I explained.  “We’ve always had people around us, no matter where we are.”

“That’s both of you, Elle,” Levi pointed out.  “I’m talking about her…by herself…when you aren’t there.”

I dropped my eyes to my lap to take a minute and think about it. 

He was right.

When I brought my eyes to his again, he knew that I had figured it out. 

“It was you the entire time, El.  She couldn’t handle you being the center of attention.  The big difference between the two of you is that you’re in the limelight because your chosen career path puts you there.  You aren’t seeking anyone’s approval in doing it, either.  She’s not getting any attention, craves being the center of it, and was working her ass off on social media to find it.”

“But she didn’t get it, Levi.  It makes no sense,” I offered, not wanting to accept his explanation.

He shrugged his shoulders and reasoned, “Maybe not, but that’s what she was hoping would happen.  Perhaps she didn’t think she’d ever be caught.”

“I feel like an idiot,” I confessed.

“You’re not an idiot.  You gave one hundred percent of yourself to your friendship with her and she destroyed that.  Don’t let her bring you down, Elle.  You are an incredible human being and loving friend, who was treated horribly.  I understand how hurt you are, sunshine.  Take the time you need to mourn the loss of the friendship and what it meant to you, but try to get yourself to realize, sooner rather than later, that it didn’t mean the same thing to her.  I know you’re crushed over this, but she doesn’t deserve your tears.  It’s like you said to Dom -- after what she did to you, there’s no doubt about it; you’re too good for her.”

Disbelief still coursing through me, I instructed him, “I may need to hear that a few more times before it starts to sink in.”

Levi kissed my forehead and promised, “I’ll see to it that you get that.”

I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around him. 

“Thanks, love,” I whispered.

“So, can I make you some food?”

I dipped my chin and wondered, “What are you planning to make?”

“Haven’t quite figured it out yet,” he replied.  “Do you have something in mind?”

“Grilled cheese.”

Levi rolled his eyes at me, shook his head, and smirked.  “I should have known it wasn’t going to be something with protein and vegetables.”

“Sorry.  I hate to say it, but it’ll probably never be that,” I vowed.  “Is that a deal breaker?”

He leaned in to kiss my lips.  When he pulled away, he answered, “Nope.”

At that, he stood and walked out of the family room toward the kitchen where he made me a grilled cheese sandwich.  Of course, he put some cucumber slices on the side.

After lunch, Wes and Charley stopped over to visit with me.  Cruz came by to check in with me, as did Pierce, Dom, and Trent.  They all came at different times throughout the evening and it was nice having something to occupy my mind.  I also decided to reach out to my parents.  I knew that it would ease their minds a bit if they heard my voice.  Relief didn’t begin to describe what they felt when they finally had the chance to talk to me.  They insisted on leaving from their vacation early, but I managed to talk them out of it. 

By the time all my visitors left, it was late and I was exhausted.  Levi and I called it a night.  It was when I was wrapped in his arms in his bed, my back to his front, that my thoughts drifted and I, once again, felt the utter devastation of losing my best friend.  Unfortunately, as tired as I was, it wasn’t enough for me to find sleep when my mind and my heart were consumed with pain. 

I didn’t want to be a burden to Levi anymore, so I tried my hardest to control my breathing.  I quietly cried as I reminisced about times I had with Leah. 

Good times.

Times that I’d never experience with her again. 

Logically, I now knew the friendship was toxic, but matters of the heart rarely followed reason. 

I felt Levi pull me closer to his body and knew it was just a subconscious movement as he slept because he never said anything.  There wasn’t much else he could have done in that moment anyway, so I was thankful for the comfort he unknowingly provided me.

That was when thoughts of Levi took over and my mind could settle into some peace.  Not long after, I drifted off to sleep.

 

 

Levi

 

 

I woke up this morning feeling helpless after not being able to sleep well all night because I was so worried about Elle. 

After we got into bed last night, I told her I loved her.  She repeated the sentiment and I held her.  It wasn’t long before I heard her crying quietly in the pillow.  I knew immediately she was trying to muffle the sounds, the evidence of her broken heart.

Uncertainty coursed through me.  It was such an odd feeling.  Typically, whenever I was presented with a situation, I knew what to do.  Maybe I didn’t always have the right answer or the best solution on the first try, but I was rarely tentative about what to do.  I always did something.

That is, until now. 

When Elle came to me weeks ago terrified about learning that someone had been in her apartment and was stalking her, I knew what to do.  When she told me she was going on tour, I knew what to do.  And when she showed me how distressed she became having to fly to the next stop on the tour, I knew what to do. 

But now that she had been seconds away from death and deceived by her best friend, I didn’t know what to do.  Her heart was broken and I didn’t know how to fix it. 

Hearing her struggle to cry quietly last night, I thought it was best to leave her to it.  Even still, I didn’t want her to feel alone.  I tightened my arms around her and held a little closer.  She continued to cry for a bit after that and, throughout it all, I felt like such a failure. 

Elle and I finished up breakfast about an hour ago.  I didn’t want to leave her home alone just yet, but didn’t want to make her feel like I was suffocating her either.  I tried to give her the comfort and security of knowing I was there if she needed me, while also making sure she had her own space.  After breakfast, she said she wanted to go up, change out of her nightie, and get ready for the day.

I took this as a good sign.  She wanted to do her normal things.  Of course, I didn’t want to be naïve and assume she’d magically gotten over it all, but trying to get back to her routine might help give her some peace and comfort.

While Elle was upstairs doing her thing, I took the time to call into the office and get updates.  Cruz filled me in on Elle’s case. 

“Michaels sent all of the proof he’s been collecting online as well as the footage from your place over to the WPD yesterday afternoon.  I followed up first thing this morning with Detective Baines.  She confessed to it, bro.  Everything.  Not that there were any doubts considering the mounting pile of evidence, but at least Elle won’t have to go through any more bullshit with all of this.”

“Thank Christ,” I started.  “I’m not sure how well she would have handled any more stress.”

“How is she managing since I saw her yesterday?” Cruz asked.

“Torn up.  She cries a lot; she cried herself to sleep last night.  I feel useless, Cruz.  I don’t know how to help her.  She seems to be a little better today.  Honestly, I think she’s putting on a brave face when the reality is that she’s bleeding inside at losing her friend.”

Cruz sighed.  “It can’t be easy, that’s for sure.  Maybe the two of you should both talk with Zane and Emme.  You know what they’ve been through; it might help to get more perspective.”

This wasn’t a bad idea. 

“While Elle was on tour, she and Emme had planned on having the four of us get together for dinner.  I’ll see how she manages today and bring it up to her.”

I spent a few more minutes talking with Cruz about the other cases the firm was managing.  Everything was running smoothly and I was beyond grateful for the team I had working for me.  They stepped up when I needed them to and I was convinced that I wouldn’t be nearly as successful as I am without every single one of them. 

After I got off the phone with Cruz, I figured I’d run up and check on Elle.  She went upstairs well over an hour ago to get ready and never came back down.  I reached the top of the stairs and walked toward our bedroom when I realized she was in the guest room she stayed in the first night she spent there.  She was emptying her clothing from all of the drawers. 

“El?” I called to get her attention.

She jumped and spun around, clutching her chest.  “Oh my God, you scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered an apology.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.  What are you doing?”

“Packing.”

“Packing?”

She nodded.

Confusion washed over me.  “Is there another tour you didn’t tell me about?”

“No,” she replied.

“Care to enlighten me as to why you are packing?”

A look of confusion washed over her face before she answered, “So I can go home.”

“Home?”

“To my apartment,” she explained.  “I don’t have to worry about anyone stalking me anymore, so now I can go home.”

Fuck.

The second she said those words, I realized how much I didn’t want her to leave. 

“You want to go back to your apartment?” I questioned, my throat tight. 

She held my eyes a minute, something flickering in them, before she responded, “Well, yeah.  I mean, all of my things are there.  My bed, the rest of my clothes, my books that I really want to read, and my lip balms to name a few.”

I stayed silent.  I didn’t want this.  I wanted her here.

She set the clothing in her arms down on the bed and walked toward me.  “Levi, what’s wrong?”

My heart was in my throat.  I wanted to be selfish and tell her to stay, but after what she had been through, I needed to give her the freedom she’d been robbed of for the past few weeks. 

I brought my hand up to the skin at the side of her throat.  “I’m going to miss having you here, sunshine.”

Her hand came up and wrapped around the back of mine before she reassured me, “I’ll miss being here, but life has to get back to normal.  You need to get back to work.  I know you’re staying here because you’re worried about me.  I appreciate that more than I could ever tell you, but I don’t want Leah to have any more control over our lives.  The one good thing she did was bring us together, but I want us to make the choices in what happens with our relationship moving forward.  I’d like for us to have a bit of a normal relationship for a while.  I want to spend my days hanging out at my place giving myself a manicure, or cuddling up on my favorite chair to read a great love story.  Then, when the evening rolls around, I want to be able to call you or have you call me so you can tell me all about your day.  I want us to talk on the phone for hours.  I want to be able to invite you over for dinner and a sleepover and I’m hoping I’ll get an invite to your place in return.”

“Ok, then I’d like to invite you for dinner and a sleepover here tonight.”

She laughed. 

I know she thought I was teasing her, but I was serious. Fuck, I didn’t want this.  I loved her.  And because of that I’d give her what she wanted, no matter how much I hated it. 

“I want to be home tonight, love,” she said softly as she looked up at me innocently with those beautiful honey-colored eyes. 

“Any idea on when you’ll be inviting me for an overnight visit?”

“This weekend,” she answered immediately.

It was only Wednesday. 

“The weekend starts on Friday after work, right?”

She gave me a nod.

I dropped my head to the ground, feeling defeated.

Elle’s hand came up and she allowed her knuckles to brush along the skin of my cheek.  “This is going to be great for us, Levi.  Trust me.”

When I lifted my head, I insisted, “Friday is so far away.”

Her eyes went liquid and she dared, “Then you better make good use of the time you have left with me now.”

“El…” I trailed off.  “Are you sure?  After everything you’ve been through,” I managed to get out before she cut me off. 

“I’m sure, Levi.  In fact, I know that a little bit of lovin’ from you is exactly what I need after what I’ve been through.  You’ve been showing me love from the minute this thing started between us.  After what happened Monday morning, you’ve not wavered once in giving me all of the emotional love and support I need.  Now, though, I really want your physical love.  Will you give that to me?”

I stared at her briefly before I captured her mouth with mine.  She tasted like brown sugar and cinnamon.  With my mouth still connected to hers, I bent slightly to pick her up and carry her to our bedroom. 

Then, I made good use of the time we had and gave her good love.