This has seriously got to be a damn joke. I checked my watch again. We were getting close to thirty minutes of no-show bride. Is this really happening right now?

Gavin started to bounce on his heels. “What the heck is taking them so damn long?” he mumbled. With the back of his hand, he wiped sweat off his brow. It was a chilly fall day, so for him to be sweating, there was a serious problem. But if I was in his shoes, I would have been sweating too.

“You know how Marsheila has to be perfect. They’re probably still trying to get her hair just right,” I said, trying to comfort him, but there wasn’t too much I could come up with. From where I was standing, it wasn’t looking good. All I could think about was how much I wanted to be an ass and tell Gavin that I had warned him, but what good would that do in that situation? It was better too bite my tongue and try to be as supportive as possible.

The music from the string quartet was starting to get on my nerves as they started to play their set for a third time, the droning of the repetition digging under my skin making me want to rip the damn bowtie and vest off instantly. The guests were fidgeting in their white folding chairs as they looked around, muttering to themselves. It was starting to get pretty awkward and downright embarrassing. All eyes were glued to us as the shit slowly started to hit the fan. I felt like I was front and center for a train wreck that was about to take place.

What a fucking crock of shit.

With all the demands Marsheila had put on the damn wedding, making Gavin shell out upwards of seventy grand on one damn day, I was thinking how that bitch better make an appearance soon or I was going to start breaking necks.

Right as I took my cellphone out of my pocket to call Marsheila, the maid of honor, who was also Marsheila’s sister, started quickly shuffling around the group of seated guests, trying to wave Gavin over.

I followed Gavin closely as he rushed toward her.

“I am so sorry, Gavin. I couldn’t talk her out of it.” She shoved the note into Gavin’s hand before turning around and bolting away in her tan heels and flowing seafoam green dress.

What in the ever-loving fuck just happened?

Gavin dropped to his knees in the cold grass right at my feet. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to my best friend, and there was nothing I could do to help or stop it.

I started to pull him to his feet, forcing Gavin to stand. His face was red, his eyes were glassed over, and his jaw was hanging open. Before I could even register what he was doing, Gavin’s fist was connecting with the side of my face. I grabbed my cheek as tears started to roll down his.

“Holy fuck man!” I exclaimed, staggering back a few steps.

Gavin was frozen. All eyes were on us, the guests slack-jawed as they watched the worst moment of Gavin’s life unravel in front of them.

I needed to see the note clutched in Gavin’s hand before he had a chance to read it. I needed to know that cunt’s ridiculous excuse for breaking his heart was.

“Get off of me!” Gavin protested as I desperately tried to wrestle the note out of his grasp.

“You just punched me, dude. You need to let me see this.” Our eyes were locked. I knew the big, bad hockey star was about to fight me like he did the guys in the rink, but I didn’t give a fuck. It wouldn’t have been the first time Gavin and I got into it. He usually won, but I held my own.

I tore the envelope open and read the scribbled cursive that wove the biggest heap of bullshit I had ever read in my entire damn life.

Gavin tried to snatch the note out of my hands as I reread it in disbelief then said, “Why don’t you just wait until tomorrow for this? Let’s make the best of all the money you blew on this shit show.”

I put the note in my pocket, and Gavin turned to his guests. “It seems like there won’t be a wedding tonight…I guess that’s something to celebrate.” He threw his hands into the air, letting out a weird laugh.

“Fuck it!” I slapped Gavin on the back before yelling, “It’s all paid for already, let’s have a damn party!”

So, in our tuxes, with all the guests that were there for Gavin, we went and got plastered at the open bar, ate a shit load of amazing filet mignon with wild Alaskan salmon along with everything else at the buffet, and danced our night away. The best part by far was the food fight that ensued once the cake was brought out. Gavin got an extra bill for cleaning and damages a few days later, but he didn’t mind in the slightest—it had been totally worth it. I was just glad my best friend wasn’t going to be tied to that raging bitch for the rest of his life. If I never saw Marsheila again, it would be too soon.