Chapter 16
Gordon wasn’t surprised at the appalled expressions that greeted his words. But the situation needed to be explained to her family. The protective side of him wanted to sweep Callie away from this city before the combined forces of the British Army and Royal Navy attacked. But he couldn’t do that if she wasn’t willing. Callie needed to decide what she really wanted—and so did he.
“You’re going to take her away from us?” Sarah asked. She and her husband were obviously of mixed race and they had the quiet wariness of people who were born and raised in slavery. A man like Gordon, with confidence and fair coloring, had the potential to be their worst enemy. He made a conscious effort to look unthreatening.
“Only if she wants to go,” he said steadily. “I can take all of you to England to new lives if you wish. We could leave tomorrow morning.”
“What kind of lives?” Josh asked. “Field hands? Not going to happen.”
“You would get to choose what you wanted to do, and I promise you’d be comfortable while you established yourselves. If you wish to set up a business, perhaps own an inn or a carpentry shop, that could be done.” Gordon’s gaze moved around the group. “Molly, there would be a dowry for you when you’re ready to marry. Trey, you can go to university or study a trade if you like. You will all have choices.”
Callie was watching Gordon with narrowed eyes, probably wondering if he had authority to make such broad promises. Or if he was assuming she’d be willing to marry him to get those benefits for her family. A suspicious girl. He liked that in a woman.
“They say it’s cold and wet in England,” Sarah said, frowning.
“They say rightly,” Gordon admitted. “It is colder, but it doesn’t get miserably hot like this, and winters are fairly mild.”
Callie said hesitantly, “Molly, you’ve always wanted to see London. I’d love to take you there.”
“I’ll never go!” Trey said fiercely. “Britain is the enemy. I want to kill them all!”
Shocked, Callie exclaimed, “Including me?”
He flushed. “Of course not you! But you’re an American, like me. No one has to be born here to be an American.”
Not liking the hurt on Callie’s face, Gordon said, “This is a damnable war, one that no sane person likes. You can dislike the war without thinking that everyone on the other side deserves death.”
“This might seem like a stupid war to you, but England hasn’t much to lose except some soldiers and money,” Trey said flatly. “America risks everything.”
As Gordon thought about it, he realized the boy was right. “The stakes are uneven,” he admitted. “Britain pays in lives and treasure, which is bad enough, but the United States risks losing its very identity. Yet this country still has slaves. England doesn’t. Is that a factor to weigh in the balance?”
Trey hesitated, then shook his head. “Maybe there aren’t slaves in England itself, but the British are perfectly happy to own slave colonies like Jamaica. I’m free here. Baltimore has more free blacks than any other city in America. I like this place.”
“No one has to decide tonight,” Gordon said peaceably. “It’s a huge and alarming opportunity. You need to think and discuss it as a family.”
Sarah said softly, “I’d like to see London some day. But I’m too weak to travel, and I’m not going so far from my family. I want to see my son and his children.”
“Your son?” Callie asked, startled. “Susannah wasn’t your only child?”
Since Sarah was so drained, Josh answered. “Our son, Joshua. He’s named for me. He escaped from Jamaica before you came to the island. He’s living in Philadelphia. He’s married and has three children we’ve never seen. We’ve been talking about going to visit them when the fighting is over here. Give the cousins a chance to meet each other.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Callie asked, baffled.
“It wasn’t needful,” Josh said simply.
The hurt deepened in Callie’s face. Gordon guessed that her ignorance of something so important made her feel less like they were all family. “We need to talk, Callie. Down in the office?”
Her expression numb, she nodded and headed to the stairs. Molly said, “When you’re done talking, please join us for supper, Mr. Gordon. I bought a nice pork pie and made a potato and carrot salad.”
He smiled at Molly. “Thank you for the invitation. I may take you up on that, but now I have to have a discussion.”
Callie descended the staircase with quick, tense steps, and Gordon didn’t catch up until she was in the office. She leaned against the counter with her arms crossed on her chest, looking ready to bite someone, starting with him. With her flawless profile and graceful posture, she looked like an angry angel.
Narrowing her eyes, she asked, “Was the offer to support the Adamses in England dependent on my marrying you?”
She’d always had a deep aversion to coercion. “No,” he replied. “Those are two separate issues.”
She tilted her head to one side. “Then why did you make that offer to people who are virtually strangers?”
“You mean what’s in it for me?” He mirrored her stance by leaning against the door frame with crossed arms, but in a much more relaxed fashion. “I can afford to help them get established in England, so why not? They’re good people and they deserve a chance to build the lives that they want. Plus, you care about them and they care about you.” He avoided using the words “love” or “family” since he suspected they were both fraught at the moment.
“I thought of them as family,” she said in a tight voice. “Yet I didn’t know that Josh and Sarah had a son and another whole family here in the United States. Why didn’t they tell me?”
The pain in her face was the reason he was glad he’d lost any ability to love. Exiled from her birth family, Callie had created a new family of her own, and now she was finding that she was more of an outsider than she’d realized.
Choosing his words carefully, he said, “They were slaves, Callie. You always saw them as people who mattered and you freed them legally, but most of their lives were shaped by slavery. As a matter of survival, slaves learn to be very careful of what they say. That self-protection becomes an essential habit.”
“But they’ve been free for three years, since we came to America,” she said plaintively. “Didn’t they know I would have helped them visit their son and his family?”
He frowned, trying to come up with an explanation that would make sense to both of them. “When you came to Washington, you were the master. You gave them their freedom, you provided their home and their work and their money. You were their beloved friend, but you also held the power. It was second nature for them not to tell you more than was necessary.”
“And coming to Baltimore broke that pattern,” she said slowly. “That makes sense. The world has turned upside down, the children aren’t really children anymore, and their grandparents are coming into their own as independent individuals.” She smiled ruefully. “I think I understand, but change hurts.”
Despite the pain in her eyes, she was adjusting surprisingly well. A lot of women would be weeping with devastation. “They are all becoming butterflies, free to soar,” he said encouragingly. “That’s good.”
“Yes, and they’re flying away from me,” she said wryly.
“That’s what usually happens with children even under normal conditions.”
“And my life hasn’t been normal.” She sighed. “I unconsciously assumed that we would continue on as we have the last three years, living together as a family. But now I realize that was inherently a temporary situation.” She swallowed hard. “Because I was happy, I didn’t look far enough into the future. Now I am looking, and I have no idea what is there.”
“You’re already a butterfly. Choose your flower!” he said lightly. “But don’t survey a whole meadow full of flowers all at once. It’s too confusing.”
She smiled. “It’s a good metaphor, but I’m not sure how far it can be pushed.”
“All right, start with this. Take away considerations of family and think about where you would like to live. Here? Go back to Washington? England?” He held his breath, wondering what she would reply.
Her forehead furrowed. “There is much I love about America, but my roots are still in England. That’s what I would choose if life was simple.” She smiled humorlessly. “I thought my family was here, but now I must rethink that.”
“The core of your relationship to the Adamses hasn’t changed,” he said gently. “You love them and they love you. Soon you will no longer share your lives in the same way as in the past. But you will still be dear and much loved friends.”
“Not family, though. Blood matters.” She bit her lip. “Maybe I should return to England. Learn what relative of mine cared enough to send you. Perhaps start a dressmaking business in a place like Bath. If I can sell the property in Washington, I’ll have enough money to set up a shop and cover my costs until I get back on my feet.”
“That would work well.” He paused a beat, then said, “Or you could marry me.”