After spending a good twenty minutes in the shower, I crawl into the bed and bury myself under the covers, head and all, typing out a text to Gaby. Her words from last week ring in my ears.
When you meet a guy, you text me. When you dump a guy, you text me. When the guy you fell for in a weekend reappears after ghosting you for three months and is engaged to the she-bitch of the century, you text me.
I figure finding out the guy you fell for is going through with a sham of a wedding after he told you he fell for you too is a pretty damn good reason to call her. More so, I need to hear Gaby’s straight-talking words of wisdom right now.
Me—Can you talk? Let me know when you’re free and I can call.
Ten minutes later, she replies to call her back, so one press of my speed dial and twenty seconds later, I’m welcoming my best friend’s voice in my ear.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?” she says. I can hear the low thrum of music from the bar in the background.
“Roof or office?” I ask.
“Roof.”
Why does that damn rooftop remind me of the man who’s sleeping not fifty feet away from me? “I swear, when this is all over and done with, we’re performing an exorcism on that rooftop… and getting rid of that damn swinging chair.”
“Oh dear. What happened?” She’s not being a smartass either. After twenty-five years of friendship, she can read my mood better than anyone I know.
I give her the gist of the situation and end with “. . . and then I barricaded myself in my bedroom like a coward while he stood on the other side of the door.”
“Babe…” One word, four letters, but so much meaning behind it.
“Then I had a shower, put on my sexy PJs I brought with me and—”
She bursts out laughing.
“What?”
She’s still giggling as she tries to explain. “Let me get this straight. You went away with this man after telling him there would be no touching, no kissing, and definitely no sexing, yet you wore the strappy red bikini all afternoon in front of him and the only clothes you took to sleep in are a barely-there satin cami and matching shorts?”
“What? It’s all I could find.”
“Riiight…”
“It’s true!” I say, sounding a little bit too defensive.
“I think you protest too much and you totally knew that you’d be touching, kissing, and sexing him this weekend.”
“Not going to happen,” I mutter.
“Why do you sound like you’re in a small dark room somewhere?” she asks.
“’Cause my head is under the covers.”
“Your version of putting your head in the sand then?”
“Pretty much.” I sigh, pulling the comforter back so I’m no longer in my magical protective bed fortress.
“Kenz, from what you’ve told me, he’s doing everything he can to make everyone else happy and being pretty selfless about it too. What he didn’t expect was to see you again and for it to hit him like a ton of bricks.”
“He said an eighteen-wheeler.”
“Whatever!” she says, sounding exasperated. “I know this is hard for you, Kenz. Really, I do. But put yourself in his shoes. The deal was probably effectively done before he met you so there were plans in place and everything—bar the wedding—and then he calls into a bar late one Friday night and boom, there you are looking all hot and sexy behind the bar. Then he flirts, you flirt back, you challenge him—and he likes it—so he stays in town and comes back, gets a taste of you and wants more, so he comes back again and you both fall deeper into whatever it is between you before he leaves. Then reality hits him and rather than drag you into it, he probably felt like it would be easier to walk away, live with the memory of the time you spent together—maybe his one last happy moment for a while—and goes ahead with the plans because really, what other choice does he have?”
“What do I do with that?”
“What I would do and what you would do are probably totally different things.”
“And that would be?”
“If I had one last chance with the guy I was in lo—”
I interrupt, not wanting to hear her say the word. “Don’t say it, Gabs. Don’t do it.”
She carries on as if I haven’t said a thing. “If I had one last chance with the guy I loved, I would make it the best damn forty-eight hours possible. The situation sucks, I get that. Now you have a decision to make. Do you make the most of the time you have left with him now or be with him and try and find a way to stay with him?”
“I’m not a cheater.”
“Nope, and you weren’t one last week when you ended up naked with him against your living room wall. But this is not a ‘man sneaking around behind his wife’s back’ scenario. It’s not your mom and Harris carrying on an affair. This is Millen giving himself three days with the woman he…”
I feel the tell-tale lump in my throat returning and I swallow down hard to hold it back. “He just wants to be with me.”
“Yep, which is funny, because you wouldn’t be there unless you wanted the exact same thing.” Talk about a Gaby truth bomb.
“You’re pretty smart, you know?” I say, a genuine smile on my face as I stare up at the ceiling.
“Yeah, only with everyone else’s love life. Never my own.”
“Amen to that,” I agree. Gaby has always been happy playing the ‘single and ready to mingle’ role, especially in the last few years. One day, I hope she meets a guy that knocks her on her ass—figuratively speaking—so I get to pay her back for all of the straight-talk she’s given me these past few months. She had it once and it was taken away from her. She definitely deserves to have it again.
“I better get back downstairs before Dinah continues over pouring like she has been all night and we lose half a shift’s worth of tips to cover it.”
“Jesus, please go stop that.” The manager part of me has a little freak-out at the thought.
“And Kenz, my advice from before? I’m revising it. Forget about the closed legs part.”
“Bye, Gabs. See you Monday.”
“Dinner, donuts, and a debrief, sure thing. Try and sleep. Or better yet…”
“I’m going now,” I say with a quiet laugh before hanging up, cursing her for putting the idea of doing anything more than staying in this room into my head.
I drop my phone on the bed beside me and continue to stare up at the ceiling, staying that way for the next few hours as the sleep I desperately want—and need—never comes.
Three hours later and picking up my phone for the tenth time, I groan and throw it back down when the time shows a little after midnight. I should be numb with sleep by now but instead I’m lying on my side, staring at the wall—only because I thought I needed a change of scenery from the ceiling.
I’ve been running Millen’s words over and over in my head, trying to understand why he’s going through with this. Surely his mom would understand. Surely everyone would understand.
Then my mind highlights the one thing that Gaby said that made the most sense. “If I had one last chance with the guy I loved, I would make it the best damn forty-eight hours possible.”
What now seems like one of the most important decisions in my life is whether I choose to enjoy these last two days with Millen, making the most of it and giving up a part of my soul in the process… or do I take the time we have left here to make him realize just how crazy his plan is and how much better life would be if he didn’t go ahead with the wedding and instead, stayed with me, gave us a chance to see what could be?
Who am I kidding? I knew my answer the minute he told me he loved me.
Throwing back the covers, I get out of bed and walk out into the hallway, silently making my way down the corridor until I reach the other end of the house. I hesitate the moment my hand finds the handle, my heart pounding so hard in my chest I swear it’s echoing through the quiet house.
I take one final deep breath and push the door open, a sliver of moonlight shining through the curtains leading the way to the shadow of his sleeping body.
When I reach the edge of the mattress, he startles, his eyes opening and snapping straight to me. He lifts onto his elbows, the covers falling down to reveal his shirtless torso.
“Kenz?” he says sleepily.
“Shh,” I whisper, pulling back the covers and sliding onto the bed and into his side.
“What are you—”
I wrap my arms around him and bury my face into his chest, tangling my legs with his and sighing in relief when he reciprocates. “I need you to hold me, Millen. I just need you.”
His body goes still, and for a moment I’m scared he’s going to pull back. Instead his grip tightens and he kisses the top of my head, resting his lips there.
“Anything you want, beautiful,” he says, and that’s how we stay as I sag into him and finally welcome the elusive sleep I couldn’t find without him.