Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jo
I leaned my forehead against the bathroom door. Clint was showering and then he was going to leave—without me. I wouldn’t be able to protect him.
I understood his reasoning—his attention would be split between me and the Silver Souls. But sitting here in the hotel room left me with no control, no way to help, and I hated it.
I thought back to the scene in the clubhouse right before we left Tacoma. This was what the wives and girlfriends must feel like when they sent their men off: completely powerless.
This feeling of love was consuming me. It was the first time in my adult life that I really knew what it was to love someone, the true, deep, romantic love that had kept my parents together for fourteen years. After she disappeared, he looked for her for a year. When my sister and I finally convinced him it was time to move and Mama wasn’t coming back, he searched for her in the bottom of vodka bottles. Would this love finally destroy me like it did my father? I didn’t really care if it did. I needed this feeling—I needed him. I had to throw myself in; there was no other escape.
I stripped off my clothes and walked into the bathroom. I might be in love, but I wasn’t powerless. I could at least give him a reason to return.
“Jo?” Clint called to me through the shower curtain. “Is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me.” I smiled, imagining him prepared to do battle with just a bar of soap for protection.
I drew back the shower curtain and slipped in behind him. It was a fantastic view. His back and butt were shiny from the water, but he turned quickly. His face was dark, and I realized that maybe this wasn’t such a great idea.
“You should go.” He leaned in close, so close I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he drew back the shower curtain. “Don’t do this, Jo.”
“I want to do this.” I put my hands behind his neck and pulled his lips onto mine, and I knew I had made the right decision. He was looking for something in the kiss—just like me. We were both desperate.
As he kissed me, his hands clenched my hips and his dick bumped against my belly. “Fuck,” he said, pulling himself away. “I don’t have a condom. You need to leave, Jo. We can’t do this.”
“Why not?” I said against the wet skin of his cheek. “Do we need to use one? We’re both clean and I have an IUD.”
“I can’t.” He leaned down and kissed me, but this time it had lost its passion. “We’re not in a relationship, Jo. It’s not right. There will be nothing between us after this trip.”
That hit hard, like a punch to the gut. I pushed back from him.
“I know.” I smoothed my hands over his shoulders. “I know you’re going to walk away from me after this, but just give me tonight. I’m selfish. I want one last night with you,” I pleaded as I looked into his eyes. “The thought of you getting hurt tonight is killing me.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his neck. “The idea that I might never see you again is absolutely terrifying.” I swirled my hands over his pecs and then down to his stomach. “I don’t care if you love me, but just pretend that you do.”
My hands slid farther down his wet body until I grabbed his dick. Clint groaned. He was hard and ready—just as ready as me.
“I do love you.” He groaned as I stroked him. “But it doesn’t matter. I can’t take care of you.”
“Stop punishing yourself just for a few minutes and let me have this,” I begged. “Let yourself have this.”
He closed his eyes and kissed me. Thrusting his tongue in my mouth, I melted against his wet body. He grabbed under my butt and lifted. “Wrap your legs around me.”
I clamped my thighs around his waist and crossed my ankles behind him. I’d seen shower sex in the movies and books, but those images didn’t portray how strong your partner had to be to hold someone up.
“Relax, babe. Let me do the heavy lifting.” He grinned and held me away from him a little. “I’m gonna need your help getting in.”
Keeping one arm around his neck, I slid my hands down until I found his dick and positioned him between my legs. He brushed against my clit, and I jumped at the contact. Stroking him, I rubbed my clit with the head of his dick and he laughed.
“We can do that if you want.” He leaned over and nibbled on my earlobe.
“I want all of you,” I said, placing him at my opening.
He brought my hips closer, and with each inch, he sank into my body. He felt different with no condom. The texture, the slide, it was all new. I gasped as he filled me, stroke after stroke. This was what I wanted. This closeness, this intimacy. I wanted more.
“I love you, Jo,” Clint growled against my ear. He repositioned so I was braced against the wall. “Tonight, I want to make love to you and come inside of you.”
“Yes,” I moaned.
All I could do was hold on to his shoulders as he controlled my slide down his dick. Then he lifted me up and I took him in again—deeper. I arched my back until my body melted into the wall. Shifting our weight, he pinned me against the warm tiles and thrust again. This time, he hit something inside that made my breath catch and my eyes close.
“That’s it.” He watched my face as he stroked me inside. “Tell me, Jo, tell me again that you love me.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Tell me you love me,” he demanded.
“I love you, Clint. I only want to be with you.” Those words were what he was waiting for. I clutched his shoulders and held on as he drove into me. I was on the verge of falling apart myself, but I wanted to make it really good for him. So, I tried again. “You’re gonna come without a condom, babe. I want to feel you explode inside me.”
“Jo!” he roared. I felt myself tipping over the edge and my entire body began to sing. I held him to me as the orgasm hit hard. I no longer had control over my body and I didn’t care. I trusted Clint to give me what I needed—and he did.
He cried out as he came, flooding me. The heat inside my body was like nothing I’d ever felt. I’d never been this close to another person. He thrust one last time and I gripped his dick with my inner muscles.
“Damn.” Clint leaned his forehead against mine. “Every time you clench it fucking kills me.” He thrust a few more times and then held himself inside me. “Did you mean it?”
“Yes. I love you more than anything, Clint,” I whispered. He caught my lips with his and kissed me.
The phone rang. We both groaned.
“I’m sorry, babe.” He kissed my nose and pulled out. “That’s Rip’s ringtone. I’m late. I gotta go.” He set me on my feet and then grabbed the phone off the bathroom counter. He’d turned the volume up loud to hear it over the shower and I could hear Rip’s side of the conversation too.
“Where the fuck are you?” Rip said. “We’re at the bar and I’m betting you’re getting laid.”
I laughed and Clint kissed my forehead. He knew I could hear every word.
“I’ll be down in a second. I just gotta get dressed,” he said, ignoring Rip’s question. Clint hit End on the phone and threw it into the sink. “I’m sorry our time was so short,” he told me as he slipped the hotel’s robe on my shoulders and tied the belt. Then he picked me up and carried me to the bed.
I turned on my side and watched him get dressed. He flexed as he pulled his belt tight around his waist, and I laughed. “Did you like that?” he asked as he pulled his shirt over his head.
“I think you know I did, Mr. Vain.” I raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I’m vain.” He laughed, and sat on the bed. “I’m hot as hell.” He took my hand and placed it on his chest, and then he leaned over to kiss me. “And I have an amazing woman waiting for me when I get back.”
“A woman who loves you,” I reminded him. I put my hand on his chest to stop his kiss. “Are you still punishing yourself over what happened during the rainstorm?” I paused as he stiffened. “Because you’re just punishing me too. Ruining the plans I had for love and a family and a future. Is it more important to punish us?”
“I didn’t realize I was punishing you too,” he murmured, putting his arm around my shoulders. “I just want what’s best for you.”
I reached into my purse, which was on the nightstand. “I’m gonna give this back to you.” I dropped his gambling medallion into his hand. “It means two things now. It means that you won’t gamble and that if you do make a mistake, you’ll forgive yourself for it as well.”
“I’ll remember that.” He kissed my brow and gripped the medallion. “But right now, I need to go. We’ll talk about this later. We’ll be back in two hours.” Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a plastic clamshell cell phone. “Seriously, babe. If I’m not back in two hours, use this phone to call me. If I don’t respond, call Tate. Immediately.” He put the phone on the little table. “My number and Tate’s number are preprogrammed. Got it?”
“Yeah.” I sat up. “What’s going to happen?”
“I’m not really sure,” he admitted. “But if I don’t call in two hours, at ten o’clock, call Tate and get reinforcements. I don’t want to call him just yet. I want to handle this without his help if I can. Do you understand?”
I nodded. He wanted to succeed and do it on his own. I could understand that. I just wished it wasn’t so dangerous.
“Ten o’clock.” I got up and kissed him goodbye. “I’ll hear from you in two hours.”