There was this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I watched Parker tonight. Something didn’t feel right with me, but I couldn’t seem to put my finger on what it was.

Parker blew me a kiss from centre stage before taking a sip of his water, and the knot in my gut eased somewhat.

Tonight was just another night for me as a musician’s girlfriend. I had my spot, my security and my sexy-as-hell boyfriend who was putting on an amazing show.

I glanced over at Jasper as he talked rapidly at one of the crew members. He’d seemed tense tonight, and if I had to guess, it was because I’d snapped him singing at Parker’s place the other day.

Jasper played it cool most of the time, but I knew for a fact that he was nervous about what I might decide to do with my knowledge of his secret talents.

Ironically enough, I’d decided I was going to play the recording for Parker tonight when we got home – I had a plan and I couldn’t wait to see it play out like I thought it would.

I was also planning on telling him that I was ready to move in with him. I didn’t know when or how I was going to do it, but I was finally in a place where I thought it was the right decision.

Maybe that’s why I feel so nervous.

“You seem uptight,” Hannah observed.

I forgot she was even there – that’s how distracted I was.

I shrugged. “I feel weird… I think maybe I’m just really tired.”

“Is he still hounding you about moving in with him?”

“If by hounding, you mean asking me every five minutes, then yeah… he’s been doing a damn fine job.” I smiled as I watched Parker swapping out his guitar for another one.

“You don’t want to move in with him?” she quizzed, pulling my attention away from the sex on a stick as he strummed his nimble fingers over the strings.

“Actually…” I blushed. “I wanted to talk to you about something…”

She raised her brows in question.

“I want to know what you’ll do if I were to move out…”

Her eyes lit up and her face broke out into a massive grin. “You’re going to tell him yes?!”

“Hell yes I am,” I told her. “I mean, god, just look at him…” I sighed as my eyes found his gorgeous face and sexy-as-sin body.

“Mmmm hmmmm,” Hannah agreed with a hum. “Have you told him yet?”

I shook my head and got back to my original question. “I’m serious, Han, what will you do?”

“Visit you a lot.” She smirked.

I rolled my eyes.

I can’t just up and leave her.

“I’m serious.” She grinned. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stay in the apartment on my own… or get a flatmate, or move… or whatever the hell works… I don’t care, babe, I just want you to be happy, the rest doesn’t matter.”

There’s a reason she’s my BFF.

“Are you sure?” I asked her quietly.

She didn’t answer me, but instead pulled me in for a hug.

I hugged her back tight. It would be weird not having Hannah around all the time, and we’d have to make some decisions about the in-home business we were running… and then there was the fact that I owned the apartment, but none of that was a big deal.

That’s all just little details.

“I’m so happy for you,” she finally said as she released me. “But also jealous… actually I’m mainly jealous.” She laughed.

I was happy for me too – taking this leap with Parker was something I should have done the first time he asked.

“When are you going to tell him?”

“Tonight’s the night.” I winked. “I’m hoping we’ll skip the after party and head straight home to celebrate.”

“Good luck with that.” Jasper startled me from behind and I jumped.

He was so god damn sneaky, I never knew when he might have been lurking around, eavesdropping and whatever else.

“Why not?” Hannah demanded.

“The label suits are in town… they want the big man at the appearances and the party tonight.”

“Dammit,” I groaned. I was really looking forward to a night in.

“Sorry, Little Red… you want to see your man, you’re gonna havta hit the club.” He winked at me before strolling away.

Stupid rock stars and their stupid business…

 

 

It wasn’t that I wasn’t expecting it – I was well and truly used to this by now. Wherever Parker went, people followed. He was like a modern-day Pied Piper.

Groupies, paparazzi, media, fans…

No matter where he went, someone was always there.

I’d been to these kind of after parties more times than I could count.

I know the score.

Fifty percent, if not more of these women, didn’t give one single fuck that Parker was taken. I could have been sitting right on his knee, and they would still attempt to coerce him into their bed.

I should have seen it coming.

Taking a trip to the bathroom and leaving Parker on his own was like leaving a pot of honey open for the flies.

Bad idea….

There was this one woman in particular.

Malika.

Jasper had warned me about her from day one – she was after Parker, and she was on a whole new level in comparison to the other groupies.

Of course, I hadn’t been able to help myself, and I’d asked Parker about her. It turns out they had slept together. Once… she wanted more – he wished it’d never happened in the first place. But the fact that she was Jimmy’s sister meant that she was always around.

Thankfully we didn’t spend a lot of time at these kinds of things anymore, but there were certain events Parker couldn’t miss, just like tonight.

Stupid record label.

I just want to go home…

Parker’s noted absence from the regular party scene meant that when he was around, the vultures were out for whatever they could get.

Like right now, as I watched Malika slide her lithe body right into my boyfriend’s lap.

I knew what she was doing. She’d timed her move to perfection. She was banking on me coming out of the bathroom, seeing the scene in front of me and losing my shit.

I wasn’t that stupid.

Parker’s whole body was tense and uncomfortable and he was trying his best to refrain from throwing the bitch across the room.

I didn’t believe for a second that she was a welcome guest on Parker’s junk.

I knew him.

I loved him.

I trusted him.

The thing that struck home for me was that this was it. It was always going to be like this. If it wasn’t a Malika, it’d be a Tiffany, if it wasn’t a Tiffany, it’d be a Lucy…if it wasn’t a Lucy it’d be an Emily… the list would go on and on.

There will always be someone.

The realisation hit me like a slap in the face.

Parker didn’t belong to me.

Parker didn’t even belong to himself.

There will always be something.

Was this the way I wanted my life to turn out? What kind of future could I possibly have with this man if he would never really be mine?

We couldn’t go out for a coffee… we couldn’t go for a walk in the park… we couldn’t do anything.

He wanted me to live with him… and I wanted to.

God, did I want to…

I was still here waiting to get the hell out of here so I could tell him that I was all set to take things to the next level with him.

But what would my life be like if I lived in his house? Could I walk out the front gate and down the street to go and get a coffee? Or would I have to be driven in a tinted-glass vehicle with my own personal bodyguard?

I’d been making the best of the situation, but it had been wearing me down lately. It was an exhausting life in a lot of ways.

Imagine if we got married…

I couldn’t even imagine what life would be like for our children if we had them.

No playing at the playground…

Second guessing the motives of their friends?

My stomach dropped and my blood ran cold.

I knew that I couldn’t live my life like this, not the way it was now…

Standing here right now, I knew I only had two options.

I knew I couldn’t let Parker give up his career, because I knew he would, if I asked him or if he figured out that that’s what it would take to keep me – he’d give it up in a heartbeat.

I couldn’t do that to him, hell, I couldn’t do that to the world. The thought of being the reason that this immense talent left the industry was unbearable to me – singing was everything to him.

But I couldn’t live like this either.

That only left me with one option.

I approached the table slowly, where Parker was still trying to remove the tramp that was clinging on for dear life.

Parker’s eyes portrayed sheer panic as he saw me approach. “Legs, it’s not what you think.”

I gave him a small smile. “I know… can you just get rid of her?” I was suddenly so bone tired; it was like a switch had flicked inside me and I just couldn’t do this anymore. I sank down on the bench seat next to him.

Malika huffed and stormed off in a rage, fuming that her half-witted plan hadn’t worked.

Keep moving, honey, I’ve got bigger problems.

“Fuck, babe, I’m sorry, she’s out of her damn mind. I just try to be nice to her for Jim’s sake. You know that, right?” Parker brushed off his jeans like she might have left some kind of filth on him. It made me want to laugh, but I couldn’t seem to remember how.

Tears welled in my eyes. “I know,” I repeated.

I lifted my head and met his gaze, letting him see how broken I was.

“Charlotte? What’s wrong?” He slid in closer to me.

The tears fell in slow streams down my cheeks at the sheer concern his voice held for me.

I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, Parker.”

His eyes widened and he reached for my hands in an attempt to soothe me.

“I just can’t do this anymore,” I choked out, pulling my hands away before he could make me tingle with the familiar energy his touch created. “I can’t live my life under this microscope… I can’t deal with the constant stream of women vying for your attention… I just can’t…”

The pain in his eyes stabbed at my heart. “I would never… I love you,” he insisted.

“I know you wouldn’t... and I love you too,” I replied with a resigned smile. “But I can’t live like this anymore, and I’m so sorry… I thought I could do it, but I can’t.” I sobbed.

“Charlotte, please?” Parker begged. “I’ll do better. I’ll…. I’ll step back from the party scene… the performances… I’ll give up all of it… anything… whatever you need.”

The tears fell harder. This sweet, sexy man offering to give up his whole life just like I knew he would, cut me deep.

“It’s not your fault,” I choked out. “But even if you wanted to, you couldn’t walk away from this, rock star, this is your life.”

“Charlotte…” he begged again.

I stood, knowing I needed to get out of there before he convinced me to stay.

I threw him one last apologetic stare and fled toward the exit.

I had no idea if I was making the right decision for my future, or the worst mistake of my life.

Time moved in slow motion as I ran across the room and out the door.

I saw a flash of Hannah and Jasper’s shocked faces and a glimpse of Malika’s victorious smirk before I burst through the door and into the cool night air. I sucked in deep breath after deep breath, but I still couldn’t seem to get enough air.

“Charlotte?” Hannah asked softly from behind me, as she placed a hand on my lower back. It was only then that I realised I was doubled over, crying.

I couldn’t even talk, I was sobbing so hard.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Talk to me…” Her voice was filled with worry. “Did he do something to you?”

I shook my head furiously. The last thing I wanted was anyone thinking that this was Parker’s fault.

I knew he was there the minute he emerged from inside the club; my body was so in tune with his.

“Charlotte!” he called out to me.

On instinct, I looked up at him, right into his light blue eyes that I loved so much. He had liquid pooling in the corners and it took me a moment to realise he was crying.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as I turned into Hannah’s waiting arms and walked away from the only man I could ever see myself truly loving.