One

 

ANGELA

Two Months Before . . .

 

“Mom,” I growl into the phone as I finish gathering up my stuff for work.

“Don’t Mom me, Angela Marie Cheney,” she shrieks into the phone causing me to cringe over hearing my full name. “You need to find a good man and settle down. I’m not getting any younger, and I want to be a grandparent someday.”

Rolling my eyes, I head out of my apartment. It’s the same thing every time we talk on the phone.

You need a man in your life . . . I just want you happy . . . Don’t you want kids? . . . You work too much . . . You can always finish school after you find someone to spend your life with.

Over and over it’s the same conversation, and it’s getting old fast.

“Mom, I love you, but we've been over this. I want to finish my degree first. I only have two more years. Can you just hold off on the guilt trip until then?” I squeeze my eyes shut because I know what's coming next. I hear it each time, so much so, I’m already mouthing the words as she starts in.

“Guilt? Why would you say that? I just want you to know the love of a man like I had when your father was alive. . .” I stop mouthing the words and tune her out as I climb into my car.

She tries to use the loss of my dad, and the love they shared, to guilt me into doing what she wants. In the beginning, it worked, but over the past five years it's lost its effectiveness.

Plus, I’m no longer an eighteen-year-old girl still in high school, whose world was just rocked by losing her hero to a heart attack. Nope, I’m now a twenty-three-year-old virginal college student who's getting her degree to become a physician’s assistant. Between working as a pediatric nurse in the surgical ward and school, I don’t have time to meet someone. Even if I did dream of a love like my parents had. Like the one that my favorite doctors I work with have.

“Are you listening to me?” I’m brought back to the conversation that I'm really not wanting to have. “I want you to come home this weekend to meet the young man that moved in next door. He's been here now for over a month and you haven’t come by to meet him. Anyways, Crystal is still out of town and this way you won’t be alone. I know you hate that.”

I cringe yet again because she’s right. I hate being alone, but I really don’t want to go home for the weekend so my mom can try to hook me up with her new neighbor. I only live thirty minutes from the house I grew up in. However, you would swear I lived hours away the way my mom is always begging me to come home.

“Mom, I don’t know. I have a lot of school work to do and I might get called into work. I have to check my schedule. Speaking of work, I just pulled into the parking lot. I need to let you go.”

“All right, if I don’t hear from you by tomorrow morning, I’ll call Jack or Ellison and demand you have the weekend off. Are you working with them tonight?” I shake my head. She loves the doctors I work with. Any time she comes to visit me at work she brings them goodies if she knows they’re working.

“I’m working with Jack tonight. I promise to call you tomorrow. I love you,” I murmur quickly and hang up after she says it back. I take a deep breath and get ready for my evening shift pushing her demands out of my mind. 

 

 

“I need updates every four hours on Gina. Also, there's new orders that need to be added as soon as you get a chance,” Dr. Halston states as he hands over the medical chart. I say a quick word of thanks to God that I’m working with him tonight. “How are you doing, Angela?”

“I’m tired. The clinical hours are killing me more than the damn classes. How Ellie and—” the growl he gives me cuts off my words.

“It’s Ellison, not Ellie. You know this, Angela. I think you do it on purpose just to annoy me.” Jack firmly tells me. However, I spot the twitch the corner of his mouth makes at the end of his rant.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I used your nickname for her, Jack. Please forgive me.” I use air quotes on the word your as I snicker at his smirk. He’s right, I do say it just to annoy him. “As I was saying, how Ellison and you survived your clinical hours during your residency makes me in awe of your talents. Speaking of your wife, how is she? And are your little angels driving you nuts yet?”

Jack’s eyes light up with joy and love at hearing his wife’s name, along with the mention of his children. He starts laughing and I’m, once again, grateful that I work with him and his wife. Both are pediatric surgeons; however, he specializes in vascular, whereas Ellison decided to stay in the general part of it. They’re amazing at what they do, and it’s always a privilege to work with them on the pediatric surgical ward.

He broke a lot of hearts the moment it was out that they were together.  He had this strict rule that he didn’t date coworkers, however, he fell hard for Dr. Reed—now Halston—and they now have five children. They’re what romance novels are written about.

“Ellie’s doing amazing and the kids are being their usual terror selves, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” This causes me to laugh. Again, you can see the love and pure joy he feels when it comes to his wife and kids. My heart pulls in hopes that maybe one day I'll have that.

“I got a phone call from your mom about thirty minutes ago.”  I fucking knew she’d do that shit.

“Let me guess,” I mumble out, and then mimic my mother’s voice. “Jack, I haven’t seen my daughter in forever. I need her to come to dinner. She’s wasting her life and she needs to meet this amazing man that I want to set her up with.”

Jack throws his head back and lets out a booming laugh.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” I roll my eyes because she’s so predictable.

“Yeah, pretty much. I told her you would be there this weekend.”

“Thanks for that. I feel like calling Ellison and telling her that you're not being nice to the nurses since you didn’t have my back.” Smirking at the frown his mouth quickly formed, I pick up the file he placed on the station a moment ago. “You know I’m one of her favorite nurses and she’d believe me. Just think—” I’m interrupted by the monitors going off. Looking at the screens, I see it’s Tracie; my favorite patient.

“Code blue! Room two fifteen.” I scream to the other nurse at the station. She calls it over the intercom as I rush behind Jack. I say a quick prayer that we're able to save her.

 

 

“Angela, you did all you could do for her. Don’t go second guessing Jack’s work or yours.” Crystal’s somber tone comes over the phone. “You're always telling me what an amazing doctor he is. So, if you're questioning your actions with Tracie, then you're questioning his as well. Are you telling me that he didn’t do everything he could have?”

Damn her, and her logic. 

She knows how much I adore Jack and Ellison. They’re very talented in what they do, and I know Jack did everything he could do to save Tracie. I just can’t get over the look on her mother’s face. It didn’t help that I loved her like a little sister.

The uncanny thing about that, is how much we looked alike. The staff sometimes took a second look when I was in the room, and asked if she was my sister. Her face would light up when they asked and she'd say that we were sisters in the heart only. There was no way denying anything she asked for after she said that.

Anytime I came into the room, she’d plead with me to read her a book and braid her hair. Sometimes, she’d beg to have movie night on my days off so she could see me, because she hated the way the other nurses wouldn’t fix her hair or nails. And she always had a big smile on her face, no matter how sick she was feeling.

She had an arteriovenous malformation in her frontal lobe. We thought she was fine after we blocked the veins. Hearing her monitor flatline wasn’t what I expected to happen. We worked on her for thirty minutes before Jack called time. With tears, we walked out and seeing her parents collapse after seeing the look on our faces isn’t something that I’ll get over anytime soon. I had no words that could make their pain go away, no matter how much they train you . . . it isn’t enough. Today was a reminder that there will never be enough words, actions, or heartfelt hugs that’ll bring back a child to a parent. I pray that I never have to go through that pain.

“I know,” I whisper to my best friend. “They’re going to do an autopsy to confirm cause of death, but we believe the blockage broke and she hemorrhaged.”

I’ve known Crystal since kindergarten. She's been my rock through everything and is the one person, other than Waverlee, that I lean on when times get rough. She’s currently at a book signing with some of the authors she ghostwrites for. I wish she was here, however, I’m meeting Ellison and Jack at the bar to unwind.

I could’ve also called LeeLee, a nickname Brad gave Waverlee when she worked with him, and asked her to join me. But this morning she found out she’s pregnant with child number two. Her husband, Crenshaw or Shaw as most of us call him, decided it was celebration time. A smile tugs at my lips remembering how Waverlee would dismiss Shaw’s intentions in the beginning. She used to be a waitress at the bar in town, that’s where I met her a couple of years ago. She’d assumed there was no way he was after her. Little did she know, he had his sights set on her from the moment his eyes met hers. They also had that same love I was aching for.

I take a deep breath . . . One day I’ll have that kind of love. I just need to finish school first.

“Angela, are you even listening to me?” Crystal's annoyance at being ignored is evident in the tone of her voice.

“Sorry, I was thinking about LeeLee. She found out she’s pregnant with her second child. Anyway, I know you're right. I shouldn’t second guess my work, but it’s just so hard.” My throat constricts and I hold back the tears that are threating to fall yet again today. Blowing out a breath, I decide it’s time to end this call. “Anyway, I need to get going. The Uber just pulled into Jumpin’ Jacks, and Ellison is walking out right now. Call you tomorrow?”

“I’ll call you. I have to help set up tables in the morning. I’ll have an hour break between set up and the doors opening up. Love you, bitchface, and talk tomorrow.” Crystal hangs up before I can respond back.

“Thank you for the ride. I hope you have a wonderful night.” I smile kindly at my driver while getting out. Shutting the door, I turn and am engulfed into Ellison’s arms. She gives the best hugs and I’m in dire need of one after today.

After a few moments, she steps back and grabs my hand, dragging me into the bar. I don’t drink heavy often, but after today I know it’s needed.

“Hey, Angela, what can I get you tonight?” Brad asks as I approach the bar.

“Shot of fireball, and a diet Dr. Pepper cinnamon whiskey, light on the ice. Hey, Jack.” I’m given a brief side hug before he snuggles back up against his wife’s back. “How are you doing?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He watches me closely as I grab the shot before it even hits the bar and down it, nodding for another. “You might want to slow down and drink slowly. Did you eat dinner before you came?”

“Yep. I just want to forget the night happened. I didn’t drive. Another shot please, Brad.”

“You okay?” Brad gives me a worried look before he pours another for me.

“Just fucking peachy.” The look on his face at my cussing tells me he knows just how not okay I am. I’m not one to just blurt out the F-word but after today . . . I left my give-a-fuck-what-others-think in the Uber I took over here.

“I just need to unwind. Let’s go grab a table. Wendy, can you bring us another round once we get settled?” I throw over my shoulder as I make my way to a table. Hopefully by the time the night’s over I can wipe the image of what happened to Tracie, and her mom’s devastation over losing her out of my mind.