Warm lips moving against my cheek jar me from my peaceful sleep. I open my eyes to Logan leaning over me, fully dressed in his usual business attire. Reaching up, I grab his tie and pull his handsome face closer.

“Good morning,” he says with a smile.

“Morning. Leaving already?” I stick my bottom lip out in a pout as I toy with his tie in my hands.

“Yeah, it’s a quarter to eight, and I have some meetings first thing this morning. Do you and Jane want to meet for lunch after her appointment?”

“As long as it doesn’t mess up your day,” I say, brushing my lips across his.

“Call me after the appointment.”

He leaves me in bed after one last kiss and an I love you. I stretch my arms up and over my head and yawn as I try to wake my body up. Mornings are not my friend, and after the intake of wine last night, I am definitely not feeling it today.

Finally pulling myself from the comfort of Logan’s soft mattress, I take a shower and throw on a long maxi, letting my hair air dry in natural waves. The house is still and silent as I move through it on my way to Jane’s room.

Sprawled out across the entire bed on her stomach, Jane’s still sound asleep. I sit down on the mattress and rub her back gently. Some mornings, she wakes easily, and others, her attitude resembles mine. She stirs for a moment and rolls over, rubbing her hands over her eyes before opening them.

“Good morning, sweet angel.”

“Morning,” her sleepy little voice says with a yawn.

“Time to get up and get ready. We have a big day today for the big four-year-old.”

Her smile widens, and throwing the cover off, she jumps from the mattress and wraps her arms around me. Lifting her up, I carry her into the bathroom and set her down so I can get her bath ready.

“You only have a few minutes to play this morning. I’m going to be right down the hall and I’ll be back to wash you.”

“Okay, BrennBrenn,” she says, sinking down into the water where she is surrounded by rubber toys.

Leaving the bathroom, I glance down the hallway and notice the door at the end is open. I take quiet steps until I reach the door and peek inside the empty room. I fully expected to find Tanner sleeping inside, possibly with Bethany. The comforter is hazardously thrown up over the pillows, proof that it was slept in. I check the other guest room, and while the bed is neatly made, I can tell someone had been in the room last night. Both of them must have left early this morning.

On the way to the kitchen, I check in on Jane, who is splashing around in the tub. Opening the freezer, I pull out the box of frozen waffles and set them on the counter while I pull out the toaster from the pantry. While in there, I also grab the bottle of syrup and make quick work of fixing Jane’s breakfast.

Once she is squeaky clean and dressed, we both sit down and enjoy our waffles and orange juice together. There still has been no word from her mother, and it’s not my responsibility to constantly reach out to her. Her daughter should be more of a priority to her. I actually expected more of a fight from her once she found out that I had temporary guardianship of Jane, but so far, I haven’t seen anything.

Before we leave the house, I grab my phone from the charger in the bedroom and find a few missed messages.

Bethany: Sorry for running out so early this morning. Let’s catch up later. Thank you for having me over!

Gabby: TJ and I are missing Miss Jane already today.

Logan: I took your car so I could drop it off for an oil change. The keys for the Rover are hanging by the door, and I already hooked up the car seat. Love you.

I type out quick responses on my way out of the room.

Thank you for coming. We need to hang out more often!

Don’t you two worry. She will be back over tomorrow morning.

I told you I would get to it eventually. You’re too sweet, and I love you too!

The drive to the doctor’s office is filled with question after question about what would take place. She knew the basics of a checkup but wasn’t aware of the impending shots. When I looked in the rearview mirror, her eyes were as big as saucers when the words left my mouth.

I remember not being very fond of vaccinations when I was a child either, so I can understand her reluctance. After explaining it would be a quick process and over before she knew it, she calmed down. But it’s only after informing her of our possible lunch date that she really perks up. I don’t blame her because being in his company always makes me happier too.

When we first arrive at the office, I have to give the lady at the front all the proper paperwork stating I am her guardian and can have her medically treated. It’s an embarrassing situation, and I can only wonder what people think when I explain, but the lady is very sweet about it and doesn’t seem too surprised. I imagine they see this situation often.

Sitting and waiting to be called back is just as much torture as it is when I am waiting for my own doctor. Jane keeps flipping through book after book, fidgeting in her seat. A couple of other kids are with their parents sitting on the ‘well’ side—keeping them separated from the sick kids—playing with the toys, but Jane doesn’t seem interested in joining them.

Twenty minutes later, which feels more like two hours, we are called back, and they begin measuring her height and weight, followed by all the other basics. When it’s time for the shots, and the nurse comes back in with her tray, Jane’s eyes begin to well up with tears. I move over to where she is sitting on the examination bed and hold her little hand in mine, telling her to focus on me and not the needle. Before she knows it, the nurse is done, and she is bandaged and ready to go.

---

“Logan, can you believe it? I didn’t even cry,” Jane says as we sit waiting for our lunch.

“You did incredible, Jane. I knew you could handle it.” Logan leans down and kisses her head.

Given a choice, she chose to sit in the booth next to him, leaving me sitting solo on the other side. I have grown used to this at this point, and it never bothers me because I love the bond they have formed.

“Are you working late tonight?” I ask, before thanking our server when she delivers our food.

“I shouldn’t be later than five as long as the phone conference starts on time. Do you want me to bring dinner home?”

Home.

That’s going to take some getting used to. Logan’s house is ten times bigger than anything I have ever lived in and so much nicer than what I am used to. Being around him all the time and sleeping next to him every night has come so naturally. At this point, I couldn’t imagine going back to my apartment and sleeping alone.

“No, I think tonight Jane and I will cook dinner.”

Jane claps her hands in excitement. She loves whenever we cook and bake together and is always eager to learn.

“Well, then. I will make sure to be home as promptly as I can,” he says with a smile.

“Do you want to invite your brother over?” I ask, taking a bite of my salad.

“Not tonight. I want to have a nice evening with my two favorite girls. Unless you want him to come.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Just the three of us sounds nice.”

Logan’s phone vibrates on the table. When my eyes fall on the screen and I see Melody’s name, my happy mood turns sour. I hate feeling this jealousy because I have never been that girl before. I don’t know how to control my anger when it comes to her.

He presses the volume button on the side to cut off the vibration. “I’ll handle that,” he says, pointing down at the device.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know you didn’t, but I will handle it because she doesn’t need to keep calling and showing up as she has. It’s not appropriate, and she knows that.”

“Okay,” I say, moving my lettuce around on the plate with my fork. I’m happy that he sees it’s an issue and plans to address it, but at the same time, it is frustrating that it is happening to begin with.

“Hey,” he says, reaching across the table and lifting my chin with his fingers, bringing my focus to his navy eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I smile, but I can tell it just isn’t fully there.

He drops his hand to mine and squeezes. I don’t mean to make him feel bad, and for whatever reason, I trust him completely, but there are still little doubts seeded down deep.

“I have an idea,” he declares, gaining the attention of Jane with his enthusiasm. “Let’s check our work calendars and find when we can both take some time off and go away for the weekend. My family has a cabin up north in the mountains, and I think we could all use a little break.”

“I’ve never been to the mountains,” Jane says, bouncing in the booth.

“The scenery is beautiful, and we can do a lot of sight-seeing, but there is also this carnival that is open year round, and I know a certain little girl who would love it.”

“Yes! Yes! I have only been to the fair one time when BrennBrenn took me. We had so much fun, didn’t we?”

“We sure did.” Last year, Claire and I took the girls to the fair and spent way too much money, but we all had a blast, so it was worth it. “I just started working at the firm, so I don’t know if I will be able to get any extra time off since I have already taken off so much.”

“I’m sure Richard won’t have an issue giving you the time off. You are a star employee, and he practically begged you to come work for him. He would give you whatever you asked for.”

“Please, BrennBrenn!” Jane pleads, giving me her best puppy dog eyes.

My gaze lifts from hers to Logan.

“At least think about it,” he says, giving my hand another squeeze while I nod my head.

The thought of escaping to a cabin in the mountains sounds beyond amazing, but I don’t want Richard to think I am taking advantage of our relationship outside the office. He has been great since day one, and there is no way I could ever repay him for all his help with Jane. It just doesn’t seem right to ask for more time off when I have already been off more than one should in such a short time.

“I hate to run, but I have to return to work. I will see you ladies later at home,” Logan says as he signs the receipt for our lunch.

We stand from the booth, and he walks us to the parking lot.

“Do you want to switch cars?” I ask, holding his keys out.

He shakes his head. “No, just take mine. Jane’s seat is already hooked up.”

“I like riding in Logan’s. I can see everything.”

“Who wouldn’t like riding in a Range Rover?” I joke.

Logan takes my and Jane’s hand, walking us over to where his SUV is parked. He opens the door and lifts Jane into her seat, carefully buckling her in and kissing her head. Leading me around the vehicle, he opens my door like a gentleman.

“See you in a few hours,” he says, bringing his lips to mine.

“We’ll be waiting. Love you.”

“Love you too. Remember to think about what I said,” he reminds me.

“I will.” I smile and I climb in the seat and click in my seat belt. “Have a good rest of your day.”

---

Noticing that Jane has been mostly quiet on the ride home, I spare a glance in the rearview mirror and find a sad little girl.

“What’s the matter, sweet angel?” I ask, and her eyes pop up to meet mine in the mirror.

“I was just thinking about some stuff, and it made me sad.” She casts her eyes back down, and I focus on the road as I pull into Logan’s driveway.

After we are parked inside the garage, I reach back and unbuckle her from the seat, pulling her up into my lap.

“What made you sad?”

“I don’t really miss Mommy. I don’t think about her all that much, and I think she would be upset that I don’t. It makes me feel like a bad girl.”

My heart breaks constantly for Jane, and hearing what she just said crushes me. She hasn’t brought her mother up, so neither have I because I thought it was best for her.

“No baby, that doesn’t make you a bad girl. We have been so busy since you came to stay with me and had so much going on that it is easy to get distracted. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love your mommy.”

Tears fall from her eyes as she sniffles. “But I love you more, and I don’t want to go back and live with her. She doesn’t ever do anything with me and always makes me stay in my room. She’s never any fun and neither is Grandma.” She stops talking, and the sobs come harder.

I pull her against my chest and begin rocking her, hoping to settle her down. My hand rubs up and down her back as her little body shakes against mine, her tears soaking my dress. All the while, I am trying to put the correct words together to explain a terrible situation to a little girl who will never understand. It’s not like I can come out and say that her mother messaged me to come pick her up because she ‘couldn’t do it anymore.’

Last time I checked, you couldn’t pick when you want to be a mother and when you didn’t. Just like you don’t abandon your child and call weeks later expecting to talk to her as though nothing ever happened.

Once her sobs have subsided, I lift her up and wipe her tear-filled cheeks and kiss her forehead.

“Remember how your mommy told you she was sick and needed to get help?”

She nods her little head. “Yes,” she answers with a sniffle.

“Well, until she starts feeling better, you will be staying with me.”

“And Logan?”

“Yes, and Logan. In fact, how would you feel if we kept staying at his house and didn’t go back to my apartment?”

I laugh when her little face lights up at the idea. “Really? His house is so big! And it has a pool! That would be awesome!”

And just like that, her sadness evaporated.

“He even said we could decorate your room any way you want. Maybe this weekend we can spend a day shopping and choose some new stuff. What do you say?”

Before answering, Jane throws her arms around my neck. “Thank you, thank you, BrennBrenn!”

“You are welcome, sweet angel. How about we head inside and figure out we want to make for dinner tonight? I bet Logan will be excited to hear that you want to stay here.”

“He’s really nice. I love him a lot.”

“Me too, sweetie.”

The exhaustion from crying must have finally set in because once we get inside, she’s passed out on the couch not fifteen minutes later. I cover her with a throw blanket and get to work searching the kitchen for dinner ingredients.

Witnessing her breakdown in the car makes me resent my sister even more. Jane is such a sweet and caring little girl. How could anyone not be grateful to have her in their life? And how could a mother, who carried this baby for nine months and grew her inside her very own body, neglect and walk away as she did?

Then I think about Patrick and wonder what kind of father he would be if he were still living. Would having a daughter have forced him to clean up his life and make himself better? Or would he still be living in the same cycle, slowly killing himself one day at a time? In my heart, I would like to believe it would have made him a better man, but he had known he was going to be a father before he stuck that last syringe in his arm.

All I want to do is sit down and cry. Cry for Jane, whose short life has been spent growing up in horrid conditions I know all too well. Cry for my sister, who can’t seem to get her life together and take care of herself, much less her daughter. And cry for Patrick, who will never know the amazing little girl who is his daughter because he was too far gone. But I won’t cry for a person whose life was turned upside down after a late-night message. Who became an overnight parent and had to make multiple changes in their life. I won’t cry for me because Jane has been the greatest gift I could ever receive, and from the moment she was born, I knew I would move mountains for her. She may not have a mom or dad currently present in her life, but she has me, and I am determined to do my best to give her the life she deserves.

The way everyone has opened their arms to Jane has amazed me. Claire and Emma have been involved the longest, and even Jordan drops to his knees for a hug whenever he sees her. But when I think about how quickly Logan and his entire family have welcomed not only me but also Jane into their lives, it makes it harder to understand why Lynne would leave her.

Ruth and Richard have asked her to call them by the same names their grandson uses—Nana and PopPop—and she didn’t skip a beat when she started using them. One day out of our new routine and Gabby is messaging me to tell me how much she and TJ miss Jane. Logan would bend over backward to make her smile and is willing to sacrifice one of his beautiful guest rooms to the frilly pink gods just to make her feel at home.

My impending tears are being held at bay, and when it dawns on me that Jane and I now have a family, I no longer have the urge to cry. Logan has given me so much more than I could ever give him back. I don’t have much to offer, but he has my heart, and I can only hope that’s enough.