PHILIP
I’d barely spoken to Ryan in over a week. I knew he was avoiding me to save face, but it still sucked. When Sissy told me his sister had been attacked, I tried to call but it went straight to voicemail.
I was sitting at my desk in the lecture hall about to start class when the president of the university and the department chair walked in the door. Dread pooled in my stomach as they made their way down to the front. “Attention everyone, class is cancelled until further notice.”
“What?” I stood and looked at both the president and the department chair. Some students were excited with the cancellation, bolting out in seconds, others were mumbling to themselves probably attempting to figure out why the president and the department chair were there. My brain was fuzzy as I plopped back in my desk chair after the hall was cleared. “What’s going on?”
“I think you know what’s happening. Ryan? Your student… who you’ve been working on that case study with?” The president lifted an eyebrow at me.
“Shit,” I said and placed my head in my hands. This was my worst nightmare. I told Ryan not to do anything, and then he couldn’t because his sister was injured. I had no idea how bad the attack was, but since Ryan was gone this long it must’ve been bad.
“Yeah, shit is right. There’s a media shitstorm and I have no choice but to put you on leave until an investigation is done. Once that happens, and depending on the evidence, you’ll come before the college’s disciplinary committee.” The president scratched his forehead uncomfortably. “We’ll need to speak with Ryan.”
“His sister was attacked. He’s out of town at the moment.”
“Well, I have no choice but to put you on administrative leave until such time that I can speak with him.”
“That’s fine. You’re not doing anything disciplinary to Ryan, right?”
“Not until such time as he is found guilty of something, no.”
Marginally happy with that answer, I stood grabbing my things and walking to the door.
“Philip, you need to leave campus immediately. I have security outside to escort you off the grounds.”
“Security? I have worked here without issue for five years and you’re treating me like a common criminal? What happened to innocent until proven guilty?” I couldn’t believe it. This didn’t feel like administrative leave, it felt like I was being fired.
“This has never happened here before. There is no precedent for it. I’m doing what’s best for the school until which time we can come up with a solution. You know how these things go, Philip. This will be a media sensation, not exactly the type of publicity a university like ours expects.”
I slammed through the door nearly hitting the security guy in the process and did the worst walk of shame of my life. Students milled around the courtyard watching my humiliation.
Outside the administration office there were several news cameras waiting to get a glimpse of the professor who fucked his student, and what was worse, I knew they were already dredging up the single gay foster parent thing. There was no way I wasn’t going to hear from Daniel. I pushed past the reporters who tried to get in my face for a comment before finally making it to my car. I’d have the university pay to send me my stuff from my office. There was a good chance they would give all of my research on the case study to another professor. All the hard work Ryan and I did, gone, all because of a selfish, self-absorbed girl.
It was more of the same when I got home. My phone was ringing like crazy with unknown numbers. Probably the press trying to get me to tell my story. I sighed in resignation when Daniel called me. “Hey.”
“Shit has hit the fan,” he said like I didn’t already know that.
“Ya think? I just got booted off campus and escorted out by security.”
“Well then, you’re not gonna like what I have to tell you.” He paused, which was worse. I already knew what he was going to say. His dramatics were unnecessary and had me reaching for the bourbon. Everything Ryan was afraid of happened. “I have to take Abby.”
I knew it was coming, but hearing it had all the breath leaving my lungs on a whoosh. I hated it. Slumping into the bar stool in my kitchen. “I know, I get it. Just make sure she’s safe please?”
“I will. Don’t worry. She’ll be fine,” he said with more confidence than I felt.
“You’re not in any trouble are you? I know the only reason they allowed me to keep Abby was because you vouched for me.”
“Nah, I’m fine. I’m worried about you. Where’s Ryan? You two need to set that Candy woman straight.”
“Ryan’s out of town. I doubt he even knows what went down yet.” There was nothing I could do. For Ryan, for Abby, or myself. “I’m gonna pack up some of Abby’s favorite things. Do you mind coming to get them? There’s people outside.”
“Yeah, no problem. I’ll come by before I pick her up from school.” He sounded as frustrated as I was. I hated that I couldn’t go pick her up and explain everything to her in person so she’d understand how much I didn’t ever want to lose her. It had only been a few weeks and I already failed her. “You should think about what you want to do about all this.”
“There isn’t much I can do about it. One of those pictures was taken at the campus dorms.”
“Shit, well maybe start thinking about what you want to do after all this is over?”
“Yeah, I’ll have plenty of time to think about that.” I grumbled, angry at the world. I was pissed at Candy, furious at the school for just believing her. I was mad at Ryan for pushing this situation in the first place, even though it was just as much my fault for allowing it, but I couldn’t help how I felt. Above all, I hated myself for being so weak and giving in, knowing at the time it wasn’t just the potential of my own life I was ruining, but Abby and Ryan’s as well. Would they expel him from school? Take his scholarship? Would he even want to go back? The whispers would never go away. Thoughts ran through my head on a loop as I hung up the phone and walked into Abby’s room. I looked around at all her princess things, knowing she’d fallen more in love with them after Ryan’s nickname for her. I robotically packed up some of the more special dolls and stuffed animals in her little pink duffle bag, remembering to put the ridiculous pink and purple dog right on top. It didn’t take long. I’d meant to take her shopping for more, but we did other things together like homework and board games. She liked going to the park and the Fun House. I kept thinking about all the experiences I wanted to share with her, and an angry tear slid down my cheek. It was bullshit. One jealous bitch was able to ruin three people’s lives. I wondered if Ryan had heard the news yet. Picking up the phone, I tried to call him again but it went straight to voicemail. I didn’t leave a message, figuring he had enough to deal with. I still didn’t know the details of Courtney’s attack.
An hour later Daniel knocked on the door. “There are national news cameras out there,” he said when I let him in.
“Well, it’s a major university. I’m sure there will be coverage all over the country.” I shrugged. My life was destroyed. I’d never get another teaching job, hell, it would be difficult to get any job at that point. “Here’re Abby’s things.”
“Thanks, how are you? Have you thought about calling a lawyer?”
“Why would I do that?”
“To deal with the university. To protect yourself.”
“I’ll take whatever punishment they give me, I deserve it. I knew what I was doing was against policy.” I scrubbed a hand through my hair in frustration.
“Okay, if that’s how you want to handle it. I need to go pick up Abby.” He smiled sadly clutching my shoulder.
“Tell her I’m sorry. We tried so hard not to lose her. There’s no way I can see her, is there?”
He shook his head. “Sorry, Philip. But, I’ll tell her and try to get her to understand. She’ll be okay. I’ll personally handle her case. Try not to worry. I know how much you and Ryan love her.”
“Thank you.” My throat clogged with emotion as he walked out and shut the door behind him. What the fuck am I gonna do now?