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Protecting His Baby by Nikki Chase (55)

Jacqueline

“Jacqueline!” Gabe’s voice sounds closer, and so do his footsteps.

I walk faster and stick out my hand, hoping a cab will stop for me so I can escape this surreal nightmare that’s made of both my biggest wish and my biggest fear.

“Jacqueline, can we please talk?” Gabe asks.

No. I won't be able to end things a second time and go through that pain again. I’ll lose my will to live, and I'll join my brother.

Tears continue to stream down my face, no doubt streaking the make-up I carefully applied before this “casual date.”

Jesus, how could I have been so dumb? There’s no way in hell I could keep things casual with Gabe.

“Jacqueline, could you stop walking for a minute and talk to me, please?” There's sadness in his voice; perhaps even a hint of desperation.

I wish I could do what he wants me to do. He's trained me to follow his orders over the past few weeks, and now it feels unnatural to be disobedient. Something deep within me compels me to stop, but I drag my feet further and further away from the one man I’ve always loved.

It's better this way. For him. For me. For our families.

If we end things here, there's still a chance he's going to remember me fondly. Maybe someday he'll tell his wife about this great girl he used to date, and she’ll get a little jealous—that's really all I can hope for.

If we keep this up, I’ll have to tell Gabe the truth. He knows something's up now; he’ll get it out of me. But if I confess, then he’ll probably feel deceived. I’d rather not end it on that bitter note.

There's no chance we can just keep on floating as we have so far. We've come to the fork in the stream, and it's time to make a choice.

“Go away, Gabe,” I say between my sobs.

“What did you just call me?” he asks.

“I said go away!” I scream. I’ve stopped caring about passers-by staring. I’m crumbling inside; I don't have the energy to care about what strangers think of me.

Gabe takes big strides with his long legs and gets in front of me, blocking my way.

I evade him and keep walking, but he runs up to block me again and starts to walk backward while facing me.

“If you're not going to stop, I’ll just have to start walking with you. It’s okay. We can talk like this. This is definitely the most mature way to solve a problem,” he says.

The last jab stings. For the longest time, I felt like he didn't see me as an equal because of the colossal age gap. (Hey, eight years is a big age difference for a sixteen-year-old girl.)

I thought I was finally old enough for him. But maybe I’ll never be. It doesn't matter. I won't have any contact with him again.

“Leave me alone, Gabe.”

He remains quiet for a few seconds. “Okay. I won't bother you, Jacqueline. I’ll stop asking questions and leave you alone.”

Surprised, my gaze automatically flies up to meet his.

You're just going to let me go so easily?

Despite the fact that I was the one who asked him to leave, I feel kind of betrayed.

It doesn't make sense, I know. I’m the one trying to walk away from him.

But somewhere along the way, I lost my rational thought and gained some messy emotions instead.

Gabe's lips widen to form a cocky smile as satisfaction fills his eyes.

Damn it. He must've noticed something about me that he can use to make me stay.

And yet a part of me sings, happy that he’d fight for me.

Secretly, I’m rooting for him to win this round. I want him to convince me to give in to this vortex of magnetic attraction pulling us together.

I’d much rather he kidnap me and keep me locked up in a cage, rather than go on as Jacqueline Summers. I’d give up my name, my career, and my identity to be with him.

Too bad I can't just ditch my family. I would if I could, especially if it means I can officially become Gabe's woman.

“Okay, what do I have to do to get rid of you?” I know I’m being cruel with the words I use, but it's better for him to be angry at me than it is for him to stay in love with me.

Love is evil. I know that now. It lures you in and traps you with sweetness and light, then tosses you into a dungeon and throws away the key. It keeps you prisoner.

And the worst thing about it? You don't want to leave this prison, even if all you have left of the initial sweetness and light are memories.

“Stop and I’ll tell you,” Gabe says.

I give myself permission to obey him and stop. It feels right to follow his orders. It feels like the most natural thing to do.

“Good girl.” He smiles at me and my knees go weak.

Shit. I may have made a mistake.

How am I supposed to start walking away from him again? I had momentum, but not anymore.

“Just get to the point. I have places to go,” I say curtly.

Gabe towers above me and traps me with his piercing gaze. “Liar.”

“Excuse me?” I raise my voice.

“You heard me.” Gabe stalks closer, looking like a predator about to pounce.

I glare at him.

I’m actually terrified. My heart is beating faster than the typing of a secretary from the fifties.

But I can't show him any weakness. He's already seen enough.

“I know what you are, Jacqueline Summers,” Gabe says as he takes yet another step closer. “You're a liar.”

Instinctively, my right foot steps backward, creating more space between us.

“I thought you were determined to keep walking forward, so why are you going the other way now?” In a commanding voice, he says, “Stay.”

Like a good dog, I freeze up at the command.

I’m hopeless. I just can't say “no” to him.

“You said you had places to go, but we planned to spend the whole day together. You don't actually have anywhere else to go.” Gabe's green eyes glint dangerously in the afternoon sunlight. “You say this is just a fling, but you're crying like someone’s just murdered your puppy.”

I'm actually not sobbing anymore now. The tears on my cheeks are starting to dry up. But my nose is still stuffed and my eyes must still be red.

I can tell him I’m not crying, of course. But I’d sound as convincing as a kid who's just yawned at bedtime but insists he's not sleepy.

“Just tell me what that one thing you want me to do is.” I put on a brave voice and challenge him. “Or are you a liar too?”

“I haven't told you one lie, angel. I love you,” he says with unexpected tenderness. He levels his gaze at me, letting me see the storm in his eyes. “Now, look at me and tell me you don't have any feelings for me.”

He's not letting me go until I say it. I know he means that. I can tell by the glow of determination in his brilliant eyes.

It's only words.

I don't have any feelings for you.

Only seven words.

It’ll take about three seconds to say it.

“I don't have

“Look me in the eye when you say it,” Gabe cuts me off.

God. As if it wasn't hard enough the first time.

I raise my gaze and stare at him. I hope I look like someone who doesn't care what happens next.

“I don't—” my voice cracks “—have…”

I try to get the words out, but Gabe's eyes demand my honesty. He sees how much this is affecting me, and he probably knows I’m lying.

Still, he did say he'd get off my back, right?

I clear my throat and blink down the tears that are pricking my eyes.

I fix my gaze firmly on Gabe’s gorgeous face.

“I don't have any feelings for you,” I say in one breath.

There.

I did it.

The world turns into a blur and the next thing I know, Gabe's wiping my tears away with his thumb. Gently. Carefully, like I’m something fragile and precious. Lovingly.

He was telling the truth. He does love me.

It’s like a crack that has been spreading for a while has finally torn a hole in my armor. The pressure within me is fighting to break out. I can’t stop the tears. I can’t patch the crack.

“Don’t touch me.” It takes all my strength to say it because his hand feels like heaven. But this simply can’t go on, and he’s making it hard for me to walk away.

Gabe says nothing. He just continues to catch my tears with his fingers.

“You said you’d leave me alone if I said it. I already did that,” I say in a shaky voice.

Who am I kidding?

I know the words I say stand in complete opposition to the way I look, with my red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks.

“You’re a liar, Jacqueline Summers.” Gabe’s gentle voice penetrates my skin and fills my being.

He’s right. He knows I’m lying to him, and yet he’s still here.

But he still doesn’t know the truth. If he did, that would change everything.

And if we go on like this, he’ll inevitably find out.

“You don’t know me, Gabriel,” I say.

“Don’t I?” Gabe raises an eyebrow. “I know you have the cab company on speed dial because you’re always rushing somewhere. I know you mean to take the bus, but there’s never as much time as you think.

“I know you love the color red—and I like it on you; you always look stunning in red. I know you’re a hard worker. You’re curious and you’re a quick learner—I bet you used to be the teacher’s pet.

“I know you like it when I kiss your neck. Sometimes you start to let go, but you pull away and ask me to treat you rough as soon as it gets too emotional. I see you shut down and I always hate it when it happens.

“You think I don’t see you, but I do, angel,” Gabe says with a tender gaze and a small smile. “I see you. And I know you.”

I know he does. I can’t be around him and hide myself.

But there’s one thing about me he doesn’t know. And it happens to be pretty important.

If he knows who I am

But if he loves me, maybe he’d stay…?

Does he want to live with a constant reminder of Sam’s death, though? And can he forgive me, after everything my family has put him through?

“Gabe, I…” I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it won’t go away. “There’s something you need to know about me.”

“What is it, angel?” Gabe looks at me with concern in his eyes.

Just blurt it out. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid, I tell myself.

But instead of words, more tears spring forth.

This is the scariest thing I’ve ever had to do.

What if he stops loving me?

What if he takes back all his words and walk away?

What if I’ll never see him again for the rest of my life?

“You don’t have to tell me, angel.” Gabe strokes my hair with his big, strong hand. “I love you, and there’s nothing in the world that can change my mind about you.”

Fresh tears well up in my eyes and run down my face.

But this time, it’s different.

This is hope.

“Just tell me you love me,” he says.

Without even thinking, the words form easily on my tongue and slide smoothly out of my mouth. “I love you.”

“I know.” Gabe’s lips curl up into a big smile. “And I love you.”

Gabe kisses me.

My face is red and my nose is blocked. A cloud of dust floats around us every time a car passes by. My hair is probably a mess.

But it doesn’t matter. Because Gabe’s kissing me.

He loves me.

Nothing else matters.