I woke the next morning to a room full of muffled sunlight and a sensation of such utter content I couldn’t stop my limbs from stretching like a lazy cat’s. A self-satisfied grin unfurled into existence, radiating with all the giddy euphoria warming my blood.

I was in Kieran’s bed. I had slept with him. I had showered with him, and kissed him and held him. I had spent the entire night lost in him, enveloped in him. I couldn’t even tell where I started and he ended most times. It had been such wild race of passion.

But the man himself was gone now. The bed we’d destroyed the previous night lay barrian before me, the space empty. His absence smothered the joy I’d been riding upon waking up and I found myself staring at the spot with a dejected sense of loss. For once, all I wanted was to wake up and have the man I’d spent the night with actually still there with me. I knew it was the price to pay for being with a man who owned a company, but I was beginning to feel annoyed by the constant abandonment.

Maybe it was what men did. I wasn’t exactly an expert in the subject. Maybe this was normal.

Nevertheless, I didn’t like it.

Lips mashed together in resignation, I rolled onto my other side, unable to continue seeing the vacancy, and froze.

Splayed across his stomach, pillow bunched beneath his head, Kieran slept soundly. His torso was half draped with the sheets, but barely, and I had a clear view of his backside and the toned width of his back. His hair hung over his face, over his eyes, reminding me of some beautifully tragic poetry.

But it was the sight of him, the physical bulk of him claiming the space with me that sent my heart leaping in my chest. Delight stole my breathe and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from making a sound. My fingers curled into the sheets, resisting the urge to brush the hair off his face, to follow the lines of his face with my fingertips just to make sure I wasn’t imagining him.

I refrained. He looked so peaceful, I couldn’t bring myself to disturb him. Instead, I crept to the foot of the bed and slipped off. I glanced back once to make sure I hadn’t awakened him before tiptoeing to the closet. I located myself a dress shirt from the dozens hanging in a neat row, closed the doors, and made my way down in search of the kitchen.

At the bottom of the stairs, I paused, feeling like Beauty in the maze.

I opted right. It seemed like a good bet.

But I crossed several sitting areas, a rec room, three offices, a study, two sunrooms, at least twenty bathrooms, bedrooms, and even a crafts room, but no kitchen. Not even a spare one. I was just beginning to think maybe he didn’t own one when I took a turn somewhere and found myself before a set of beautiful, crystal doors overlooking a magnificent conservatory in full bloom.

I pushed the doors in and stepped into a whole other world, a world of lush foliage and hot, sticky air. The humidity dampened the shirt to my skin and turned my hair wild, but it didn’t deter my feet from moving deeper over the cobblestone path. The winding trail lured me past an array of colorful blooms, looming trees, and tiny, stone homes hidden just out of view. It was as if I had been transported into some magical village all nestled in the confines of a glass dome. All around me, birds chirped and water gurgled.

I had never been so enchanted.

The trail ended in a loop that circled back, but not before I came face to face with a magnificent waterfall towering to the ceiling. Silver water crashed in a deafening roar over jagged rocks and plummeted into the rippling pond below. Its sheer size took up the majority of space, an Olympic sized pool with clear water that looked down into the sandy bottom and the flutter of movement weaving through the brush. I had to move in closer to make out the creatures with their silver and gold fins. They danced just beneath the surface, a beautiful circus of life. I’d never seen koi up close, but just watching them put me in a state of absolute calm I hadn’t felt in ages. Possibly ever.

“There you are.”

Strong arms coiled around my middle and pulled me back into a warm, naked chest. The unexpected presence of another person startled a gasp out of me, and a tiny jolt. But I stayed against him.

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” I murmured, watching the tumble of water bursting over sheets of stone and frothing at the bottom. “I don’t want to leave.”

“It’s yours.”

The words were said against the back of my head and were muffled by the roar of the waterfall, making me doubt their existence.

“What?” I tilted my face back to peer into his.

“It’s yours,” he repeated.

I stared for a moment, not entirely sure he was being seriously.

“You’re giving me ... whatever this is?”

He nodded. “I don’t need it. I never use it. If it makes you happy, it’s yours. But,” he added when I opened my mouth, “it comes with one condition.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What?”

The tips of his fingers brushed over my mouth. “You have to visit it every night and once in the morning.”

My lips curved under his touch. “I guess that means I’d have to spend the night, every night. Otherwise, it’s a lot of driving, especially since I have classes in the morning.”

He nodded slowly. “You should probably bring your things here.”

I laughed. “Basically, move in with you?”

He hummed softly. “Well, when you put it that way...” His fingers were replaced with his lips in a grazing kiss. “I have plenty of space in my closet.”

I turned to him, kiss never breaking, mouths never parting, and wound my arms around his shoulders. I arched my feet, settling my weight against his as I tried to match his height.

His arms enclosed me, gripping me tight to his front.

But I pulled away. I broke the seal between our lips and peered up into the face that starred in all my dreams, the eyes that had haunted me for seven years, and the mouth I fantasized about daily. I was almost too scared to blink, just in case it all vanished.

“What?” he murmured.

My head rocked slowly from side to side. “I can’t believe you’re actually here,” I said. “I can’t believe I’m actually kissing you. It’s all I’ve wanted since I was sixteen.”

“Just to kiss me?”

I chuckled. “Not just, but...” Heat prickled my cheeks. “It was on my list.”

He grinned, lopsided and beautiful. “Well, my lips and the rest of me are all yours.”

For now, yes, I thought miserably. But I didn’t say as much to him. I knew he’d argue and tell me everything would be okay, only, there was no way he could know that, not without knowing all the facts, which I couldn’t give him. Already, we were both standing on a sheet of ice with him on one side and me on the other, and a long splinter down the middle. I had no idea how any of this would end in eight months. I knew it didn’t change anything. I knew I still had to leave. But I also knew I couldn’t without this time with him.

“What is it?”

“Have you ever thought about just walking away?” I heard myself ask without a shred of consent from my brain. “Just leave it all behind and start over somewhere no one knows you?”

He studied me a long while, his fingers combing gently through my hair.

“Maybe if I didn’t have you, or my mom.”

His mom. I’d forgotten about her. Of course he couldn’t just drop everything and run away with me. Unlike my mother, he actually liked his.

“Why?”

I shook my head, struggling to mask my dejection. “No reason.”

“Hey.” He tipped my face up. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I will fix it.”

How I wanted nothing else. I would have given my soul for the chance to be with him completely and freely. But it wasn’t just about David possibly hurting him. It was about him learning the truth about me that terrified me into silence. I couldn’t live in a world where he knew the things I’d done to get to where I was. The shame alone would kill me.

“It’s just...” I gave a heavy sigh laced with feigned resignation. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to find my way around this place. I mean, I set out to find the kitchen and wound up here.”

If he saw through my pathetic attempts, he didn’t call me on it.

“Wrong side of the house.” He took my hand. “Come on. I’ll show you.”

I let him lead me away from the waterfall, heading along the loop rather than go back.

“How did you find me?” I pressed, needing to destroy the silence clinging to our heels. “I thought for sure I would die somewhere in here.”

He snorted. “Cameras.”

“Cameras?” I mimicked warily, chin already tilting up towards the glass and steel overhead.

“How do you think we find each other in this place?”

I blinked. “Each other? Are there other people here?” which wouldn’t have surprised me, oddly enough.

He shook his head. “No, I live here alone now, but when I was younger, my parents were always doing different things in different parts of the house. Plus, the staff and crew. There’s an intercom as well, but it hasn’t been used in ages.”

“I don’t know if that’s amazing or terrifying.” I gave a shake of my head. “What did you do here as a kid?”

“I wasn’t here very often, especially during the school months, and rarely during the holidays and not if my parents could help it. They liked quiet,” he explained when I turned my face to him. “I was a wild kid, always running through the halls and knocking things over. I would drive the staff —and my parents — crazy. So, they sent me off every chance they got. Private schools in France, summer camps in Spain, winter breaks in Australia. I got to travel more as a kid then most people do their entire lives.”

Imagining of him as a rambunctious little boy lacked a warm glow when all I pictured was him alone in beautiful and exotic countries, or sitting in some dusty corner of that fortress, alone and forgotten. If anything, the thought made me hurt for the boy he was. It made me want to gather him up and tell him he wasn’t alone or forgotten. That someone did love him, want him.

But I guessed it turned out for him in the end. He grew up to be an amazing, selfless man with a good heart and a quick sense of humor. All things that made it impossible not to love him.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured.

His head tilted a notch in my direction. “Why?”

I didn’t know how to answer that without sounding like I pitied him. So, I settled for the next best thing.

“It couldn’t have been easy having all this much space and no siblings.”

Kieran burst out laughing. “My parents wouldn’t know what to do with more than one of me. Besides, it wasn’t so bad. I did some incredible things, saw some amazing things. By the time I met Eric, I had already lived ten lives.”

I hummed quietly. “Eric.”

His knowing gaze slanted sideways at me. “I may not have been at my best in those days, but meeting Eric was the best thing to happen to me. Although, I have to say, you were such an odd little thing when I met you.”

“Hey!”

Those beautiful lips twisted into a grin. “I didn’t even know Eric had another sister until I spent that weekend with you guys, and that was almost four months of dinners, parties, lunches, hanging out. I looked down the dinner table one evening and there you were, this tiny, pale ghost. I was almost afraid to say anything just in case I’d lost my mind.”

I knew exactly which night that was. It was the first time David had let me out of my room when Kieran had visited. All the other times, I’d only seen him through the windows and the crack in my door. That night, David had barged into my room and warned me that if I did anything, he’d leave me down in the basement for the rest of the summer. I’d been so careful not to even glance at Kieran that whole weekend, just in case David noticed, terrified of being locked up again.

“Where were you?”

My spit tasted like ashes going down.

“Eric used to talk about this place,” I croaked out instead, feeling slightly nauseous. “He ... he mentioned wings.”

Kieran was studying me thoughtfully when I braved a glance up at him. But thankfully, he didn’t press.

“The east wing is for guests mostly,” he said as we finally stepped out of the conservatory. “My mom used to have enormous parties where people would spend the night and she’d put them there. The north wing is for family. That’s the top floor where my bedroom is.”

“Must be a nightmare to keep clean,” I muttered.

“There used to be a staff of fifty when my mom was in charge, but after she left, I kept a few who come in once a week to just do the main area. The rest of the house doesn’t see anyone.”

“The women must love it,” I mused, making useless chatter to keep the conversation away from me or my family. “It’s like a castle.”

“I wouldn’t know. You’re the only woman I’ve ever brought here.”

I faltered. “Ever?”

He bobbed his head once. “My mother wouldn’t allow it before my father’s death and after ... I already had my eyes on the woman I did want to bring so there were no other women.”

“In three years?”

My horrified disbelief made him laugh.

“I am capable of abstinence.” He shot me a grin. “Besides, why settle for less when the real thing is always better?”

“But three years?” I mumbled under my breath.

“Didn’t you wait twenty-two years?”

I blinked. “How did you know that?”

His eyebrows bunched. “You told me.”

I had no recollection of that, but I must have.

“So, you really waited three years for me?”

“Well...” he scratched at his jaw, filling the corridor with the sound of rubbing sandpaper. “Not entirely. After I took over for my dad, I was too busy for women. But yes, the other reason was you. Even if Dad hadn’t died, I’d made up my mind that I would have you and no one else would ever measure up.”

“Why on earth would you do something like that?” I stopped and faced him. “Why me when there are hundreds of gorgeous, sophisticated, wealthy women just dying to be draped over your arm?”

“I got that catalogue, too.”

“Kieran, I’m serious.” I nibbled on my lip, my fears bubbling up into my throat. “What if you’ve made a mistake? What if you realize—”

“I don’t make mistakes,” he cut in smoothly. “Because I don’t do anything half assed. I weigh every con, I study every angle, I plan every fallout.” He paused to study my face. “What do you think I’ve been doing the last three years, Gabby? All those dinners, all those parties. Do you think I do them for fun? I only keep going back to see you. Otherwise, I couldn’t care less about David or the rest of them.”

“You’re crazy,” I breathed, heart thumping wildly against my ribs.

“But I’m your crazy, baby.”

Grinning at my laugh, he tugged me forward.

We returned to the main part of the house and the foyer still littered with our discarded clothes from the previous night. The sight of it brought a hot warmth racing up my neck ... and other areas, but he stopped me from retrieving my dress when I headed towards it.

“I like you in my top.” Was his answer to my questioning glance. “The kitchen is at the back of the house,” he declared, pointing to the stairs. “So, when you get to the stairs, go left, or right, if you’re coming down.”

“What’s over there?”

I pointed to the secondary corridor branching away from the place he’d indicated the kitchen was.

“Mainly offices. My dad’s old study. The library. Several bathrooms and I think a sunroom.”

“Office? Why do you need so many?” I gestured to the way we’d just come from. “There were like three on that side.”

Kieran sighed. “Baby, I have no idea why there’s so many. There just is. Have you counted the bathrooms yet?”

I laughed at that. “Yeah, I passed a few of those, too.”

He shook his head. “Whoever built this place had a deep need to overcompensate, a nightmare for the cleaning staff, but great when you’re a kid playing hide and seek. Come on.”

I was taken further down through an arched doorway and into a cavern of a room glowing with enough sunlight to blind. It glinted off the rose stone tiles and the marble countertops, and stainless-steel appliances. It bounced off the dripping crystals on the chandelier and sprayed rainbows across the vaulted ceilings. Massive patio windows dominated three of the four walls, framing a sprawling garden as beautiful as the one in the conservatory. Towering treetops brushed an endless span of blue sky while the winds played with the neatly manicured lawns below. I couldn’t even see where the yard ended.

The room itself had been divided into three sections, a massive kitchen in the center flagged by a breakfast area on one side and a sunroom on the other for lazy mornings with the newspaper. The kitchen was state of the art large enough to feed an army. Every appliance was industrial, giant ovens and whole countertops built for grilling. There was even a walk-in freezer alongside the fridge.

“You live here alone?” I asked as he left me at the wide, U-shaped island dominating the majority of the main area to wander over to the fridge.

He nodded. “For the last three years.”

“Where’s your mom?”

He yanked the doors open, releasing a puddle of yellow light across the floor. “She has her own flat downtown. Likes it better there. Closer to the shops.”

It seemed like such a waste, all that space. I couldn’t picture me there at all with all those looming, empty rooms and winding corridors. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. My apartment wasn’t much to brag about. Even with its smallness, I still felt the pang of loneliness. I couldn’t imagine being here in the cold and dust, surrounded by things that would offer no comfort.

“You don’t like it.”

He was watching me when I blinked out of my reverie.

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” I clarified carefully. “It’s just so...”

“Ostentatious?” He brought out a platter of fruit and placed it on the wraparound counter. “Overdone? An eyesore?”

“Lonely,” I whispered. “I don’t know how I feel about you being here by yourself all the time. I’d lose my mind.”

“That’s the thing, love.” He rounded to my side. “I’ve been alone my entire life. You get used to it.”

“I still don’t like it.”

His hands found my waist and I was pulled to him. Warm palms glided up to my shoulder blades. The heat of them radiated through the thin fabric of my top.

“Then don’t leave me here alone.”

My breath caught. My heart tripped in my chest. It quickened with the light bump of his nose against mine.

“You don’t make sense,” I murmured, fingers lifting to curl around his bare shoulders. “Everything you keep talking about, marriage and moving in together after only one night ... men usually avoid those things, don’t they?”

His nose, his lips grazed mine with every slow rock of his head. “I don’t know about other men, but I’ve been waiting three years for you, Gabby. I’ve done my time. I’ve accepted that there’s no winning whatever pull you have on me. The want I had for you in the beginning is now a need I won’t deny myself. I need you. If not here, then I’ll find us a new place, anywhere you want. Whatever you want, it’s yours, just ... let me keep you.”

I kissed him.

Fuck common sense.

I hooked my hands in his hair and held him as he took me by the hips and hoisted me to the counter. My legs hooked around him, locking him to me.

“I HAVE TO GO OR I’LL be late for my second class,” I panted an hour later from my sprawled place on the kitchen floor.

Above me, hips still wedged between my thighs, Kieran grinned. “Or you can skip the whole day and help me christen this place.”

I laughed. “We’d need a year.”

He kissed me deeply.

“Then skip a year.”

Laughing harder, I nudged him off me and rolled into a sitting position. I reached for the top one of us had torn off me and slipped it on.

“I’m free most Saturdays, we’ll work on that christening then.”

He peered into my eyes. “It’s a date.”

Shaking my head in amusement, I pushed to my feet and padded towards the door. I heard him pull his trousers on and follow.

At the front door, I shook my dress up off the floor and pulled it on without my undergarments. My panties were a tattered loss at my feet and my bra was somewhere up in his room, where I knew if I went, I’d never leave.

I faced the man watching me, and for the first time, I blushed, no longer certain what the protocol was for the morning after. Part of me kept prodding to put out my hand in a shake, like ending a business transaction. The other part was still begging me to stay and let the rest of the world disappear forever behind the walls of that fortress. But I did neither. Instead, I twisted my hands together in front of me and offered him an uncertain smile.

“So, I’ll see you?”

“Oh, you’ll see me.”

Biting my lip, I located my coat, purse, and shoes, and headed for the door.

He followed me out onto the steps.

“No,” I protested, palms flattening between his breast plates. “It’s freezing out and you’re not dressed.”

His response was to pull me to him and kiss me, long, deep, and hard enough to make my knees buckle and my lips bruise. But I clung to him when he pulled away, no longer wanting to leave. Almost afraid to do so.

“What?”

I sighed into his shoulder. “It’s stupid.”

His palm moved down my hair. “Tell me.”

I closed my eyes. “I feel like if I leave, I’m never going to see you again. Like this is just some dream that’ll vanish if I’m not careful.”

He snorted into my temple. “That’s not going to happen. I promise. Hey.” He slipped his finger under my chin and waited until I opened my eyes. “I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

Pulling in a breath, I nodded and drew back.

With a final wave, I crossed the drive to my parked Honda.

He was still standing there when I pulled out, bare foot and bare chested, and looking stunningly beautiful in the morning light.

I wondered what I was doing the entire way back to my apartment. The consequences of my decisions became a weighing storm rising up over me, threatening to crush me. I felt it building up in my chest, expanding my ribs until they ached.

What was I doing?

How the hell did I go from deciding that being with Kieran was dangerous to never wanting to leave his arms? How had that changed in a single night? Yet, as much as I forced myself to regret what happened, I couldn’t. That insistence kept getting overshadowed by the warm, golden hues of anticipation I had no right feeling.

I wanted to see him again.

I wanted the peace and happiness he kept promising.

It was like offering a child a free pass to Disneyland and all its secrets.

I wanted all of it.

I wanted to dive into that pool of bliss and drown in it.

Even David’s threat seemed inconsequential, like it never happened, or it happened to someone in a movie a long time ago. The restrictions and fears I’d felt binding my soul were gone for the first time in my life. And it was stupid.

It was reckless.

I was being intentionally reckless.

This was only the calm before the storm and I knew it.

I knew if I stayed and lingered, and allowed myself a sliver of the thing I did not deserve, it would destroy me. It would rip away everything.

Was Kieran really worth it?

I knew the answer even before I pulled into my parking spot.

He was worth all that and more.

He was worth everything.

All the pain.

All the suffering.

I would embrace it all for him.

At home, I showered and dressed for whatever few hours of school I had remaining. I knew I had already missed all of first period and most of the second. If I wanted to attend any that day, I needed to get there quickly.

I arrived twenty minutes before my third class. I slumped into the bench outside the classroom door and dug out my phone. I realized after I swiped it on that Kieran hadn’t given me his number. The insecure little voice in my head wondered if maybe he didn’t want to, but that was immediately shoved aside. Even I couldn’t convince myself of that.

There were eight saved numbers on my phone: Mom, David, Cordelia, my building’s super, the school, Mr. Thomas at the bookstore who always called when a used textbook came in, my cell company, and Cain. His was the only text message in months. The last one before that was from my mom almost a year before.

But I pulled up the messages from Cain and skimmed through them to pass time. Neither of us had texted the other since the photo of my soaked panties and his promise, “I’m going to fuck the shit out of you when I see you.”

Something about that made me pause. My mind flashed back to Kieran storming towards me and taking me on the back of his car with that savage intensity. I thought about how he’d felt the entire night, the familiar weight of him, the way he turned his head into my neck when he came. His smell.

No...

I may have been failing physics, but I knew basic math. Yet despite that ... I didn’t know how to add up what was right in front of me. Maybe because it was impossible. Maybe because the thought was horrifying. Maybe because denial was better than accepting that I was too stupid to see what was smacking me in the face.

Not possible, I kept telling myself.

Yet ... the evidence...

“Excuse me, are you Gabrielle Thornton?”

My head jerked up. My thoughts scattered. I blinked up at the tiny man hovering just a few feet away, watching me over a stack of thick books.

“Uh...” I straightened. “Yes?”

He took a step closer, eyes wary behind his glasses. “I’m Professor Wesley Weber.”

I shot to my feet. “Hello Professor.” I stuck my hand out. “I apologize. I don’t recall which class...”

His hand was small and clammy with a bony feel when he squeezed mine.

“No, we don’t have any classes together. I don’t attend this university.”

As a person who seldom went anywhere, I couldn’t fathom why a professor from another school would actively seek me out.

“I’m a little confused,” I admitted.

“Oh!” He adjusted his glasses. “I apologize. I was hired to tutor you.”

“Tutor me?”

There was no concealing the surprise in my voice.

“Physics, I believe, but anything you need, really.”

Aside from Professor Vijayan, Kieran, and Cordelia, no one knew about my troubles in that class. I highly doubted Professor Vijayan would find another professor to help me, and Cordelia would sooner chew glass, which left only one other person.

“Kieran Kincaid?” I guessed, partially already knowing.

Professor Weber nodded, causing his glasses to slide down his nose again. “He asked me to assist you.”

I had absolutely no idea what to do. I knew I should turn him away. Whatever this man was costing, I couldn’t afford, which meant I couldn’t let Kieran simply hire him. On the other hand, failing Physics wasn’t an option. If I had a professor tutoring me one on one, I knew I could get a better understanding of the class, opposed to being another name on a list of fifty other people.

“Ms. Thornton?”

I wished Kieran had talked to me first, before forcing the man all the way there. But he was there. There was no point sending him away now. It would be a waste of time for everyone. At the very least, I should consider it, was what I told myself.

“When were you thinking we could start?”

He fidgeted with his glasses again. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“That soon, huh?” I blew out a breath. So much for sleeping on it. “I’m about to walk into my third period. I can give you a rundown of my classes and you can tell me what times in between work for you, if that works?”

He nodded, and waited as I rummaged through my backpack. I unearthed a piece of paper and a pen, and quickly scribbled down my whole week, marking classes in blue, study hall in black, and free periods in red. I also wrote down my number and home address along the bottom.

“My number’s there.” I pointed with the end of my red pen. “When you’ve had a chance to go over your timetable, you can call or text.”

Professor Weber nodded, looking over the page. “I’m sorry to ask, because I feel like I should know, but what are you working towards? What’s your major?”

“I’m in my last year of getting my Bachelor’s degree in behavioral science.”

He nodded slowly. “All right.” He folded my paper in half and slipped it between the pages of his top book. “I should call you by tomorrow.”

I thanked him and watched as he ambled away.

Kieran.

Despite my mild annoyance, I felt myself grin a little. I would definitely need to have a talk with him about doing things for me. I wasn’t helpless. Entirely. I knew I would have eventually found a way to figure it out. But a seasoned tutor did help, even if I would have to find a way to pay Kieran back for it. And not just with sex. I still owed him for the car. Replacing two tires was a grand easy. I couldn’t even fathom how much fixing the heater had been.

Then there were the slippery fingers of suspicions I had about Cain and Kieran. If I was right and they were the same person, that meant I owed Kieran everything. A debt I could never in a million years pay back.

But it made sense if I was right.

There was only one way to be sure.

I picked up my phone.

Me: “I want to see your face.”

I waited.

Cain: “My face?”

I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn’t see it.

Me: “Yes, your face. Who else?”

Cain: “No blindfold?”

Me: “No blindfold. I want to know who you are. I think a part of me already knows.”

Seconds passed. I counted each one with my heartbeats.

Cain: “If you’re right, does it bother you?”

My fingers trembled, but I got most of the words out.

Me: “I don’t know. I’m terrified, honestly. I want it to be, and I don’t want it to be. If it is, then you know one of my darkest secrets, one I’m not proud of, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look you in the face. If it’s not, then it’s a problem, because I want you to be him and I wouldn’t know what to do if you’re not.”

His answer took forever, or maybe it just felt that way, because I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Cain: “I guess there’s only one way to found out, isn’t there?”

I wet my lips.

Me: “Cain?”

Cain: “Yeah?”

Me: “You never asked me why I was there.”

Cain: “Because it never mattered. You were. I got you. I won’t let you go back.”

Please let it be him, I prayed, squeezing my eyes closed. Because the longer I talked to Cain, was with Cain, the deeper I was falling and I had no idea what I was supposed to do if he wasn’t Kieran.

Me: “Have you ever wanted a threesome?”

It was longer than normal. I wasn’t sure if it was the question itself, or if he was just busy.

Cain: “A threesome? With two girls?”

Me: “No, another man, and me.”

Cain: “You want two men? You want me to share you?”

Me: “If you’re not him, I don’t know how else I’m ever going to pick between you.”

Cain: “Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

Me: “Picking or sharing?”

Cain: “Both.”

Me: “When can I see you?”

Cain: “When do you want to see me?”

I sighed and slumped in my seat.

Me: “I’m about to head into class.”

Cain: “After school then. I’ll pick you up.”

Jesus.

Jesus Christ.

All the air in the entire world mysterious vanished, effecting only me as I sat there gasping between my knees. The phone sat clutched in my hands, a plastic anchor to my clammy, shaky hand.

I wasn’t sure I could make it another five hours.

I wasn’t sure I could afford not to.

The moment I saw him, everything would change ... again, and my life was already a twisted mess.

Then there was the twenty percent chance it wasn’t Kieran. That Cain really was someone completely different. What was I supposed to do then?

I peered up and down the empty corridor, not really expecting to see anyone, but wishing I hadn’t said anything. Somehow, by wanting to know, I’d complicated everything even more.

Maybe I should cancel.

I could tell him I’d changed my mind.

But I knew that wasn’t an option either, because I had to know. I couldn’t keep playing this game. And if he wasn’t Kieran, I would let him go. It would hurt, but I chose Kieran. He was the one I wanted.

The only one.

Me: “Can we do it now? I don’t think I can sit through five hours of lectures with this hanging over my head.”

He was quiet for a long moment.

Cain: “I’ll be there in fifteen. Side parking lot by the main road.”

My nerves rattled. My insides twisted. I was sure I was going to be sick, but I gathered my things up into my strangely numb embrace and made a wobbly line to the side exit. There was a weird ringing in my ears and all the spit in my mouth had vanished.

Nevertheless, I made it.

I pushed open the glass doors and stood out on the sidewalk, peering out over an ocean of metal and glass. I didn’t check the time. I didn’t look away from the main entrance. My heart clapped in my chest, an erratic tempo of pure terror. I stood rigid in the breeze. Figures moved around me, a blur of faces I barely registered. The plastic on my phone creaked beneath my white knuckled clench.

Cars pulled in and pulled out in a steady stream, each one a fresh jab in the gut when it wasn’t the one I was watching for. A few pulled up to the bottom of the steps inches from my sneakers, but someone would climb out and the driver would continue onward. The rise and drop of my heart was beginning to make me feel sick. The ground wavered with a flash of vertigo that had me squeezing my eyes closed. The crisp air became heavy and hot.

I started to turn away, knowing I needed to find a spot to sit before I tumbled to the bottom of the stairs, when the sleek, black Porsche rolled up and pulled to a stop. The driver side door swung open, and my lungs clapped shut.

Warm, brown eyes met mine over the ten feet separating us, and the entire world came to a screeching halt. My insides flipped. The books in my arms thumped to the ground, hitting the tops of my feet and tumbling down the steps in a scatter of papers and pens. My bag followed, leaving me weightless and free as I lunged forward, my entire body propelling me at speeds that could have broken my neck.

But Kieran was already at the bottom, arms open and ready for impact. They closed the moment I threw myself into his chest.

“Hey baby.” His low murmur pressed into the side of my head.

“I knew it,” I half breathed, half sobbed into his shoulder. “I knew it.”

I made a choking sound, a weak whimper that was barely audible against the heavy material of his coat and the wind, but his arms tightened. His hands closed against my back.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to tell you,” he breathed into my neck. “Christ, Gabby.”

“I’m sorry,” I began.

He shook his head. “No, there’s nothing to be sorry about.”

I sucked in air thick with the scent of him and me.

“I have so many questions.”

He nodded. “Let’s get your books. We’ll go somewhere to talk.”

I let him draw back.

But the moment he did and the chill replaced his heat, reality took that moment to stab me in the chest. The fine definition carved through bone with a precision that nearly had me doubling over.

“Gabby?”

I found his face, gutting horror forcing me back a step.

“Oh my god, it was you.”

“Gabby.” He took a step towards me. “Baby.”

“You ... the auction ... oh my god...” My hands mashed over my mouth. “You saw me...”

“Hey.” He grabbed fistfuls of my sleeves and stopped me before I could ... I wasn’t even sure what I was about to do. I felt frozen, but my feet were positioned to run. “Look at me.”

I tried to. I really did. But all I kept seeing was that bedroom set up at the auction house and him on the other side of the glass, bidding on me.

“God, you saw me, Kieran.”

“Look at me.”

Tears blurred his perfect features, but I raised my eyes to his face. I fixed them there even when the tears rolled free down my cheeks.

“Let me get you into the car, okay?” His fingers swiped away the dampness stinging skin. “We’re going to talk about this somewhere private.”

I let myself get led to the car and get tucked into the passenger seat. I let him close the door and sat there as he hurried back to gather my things off the steps. My books and bag were dumped into the backseat, a disorganized heap I knew would take me hours to set right again. He got in behind the wheel.

I didn’t look at him.

How could I?

God, he’d seen me at my lowest point, a place of my deepest shame. He’d watched me sell myself to the highest bidder like some common prostitute. A glorified one, apparently. A classy prostitute, but still a prostitute, because he’d given me money for the only thing I had worth selling — my body.

I wanted to die.

“Do you have a passport?”

The question had me pulling out of my own spiral misery to glance at him.

“What?”

He turned out of the school parking lot and pulled onto Main Street.

“A passport.” He spared me a quick peek. “Do you have one?”

Baffled past the point of comprehension, I managed a nod.

“Where?”

“My apartment?” I wasn’t sure why it came out as a question, but... “Why?”

Rather than answer, he took the first street leading onto mine and headed in the direction of my apartment. I watched as it drew closer.

“Why do I need my passport?”

“Do you trust me?”

Despite everything that had happened, that was one of the few things that hadn’t changed.

I nodded.

That seemed to satisfy him as he pulled up in front of my doors.

“Grab your passport and ID,” he instructed. “Then come back. Gabby.” He took my chin between gentle fingers, willing me to look at him. “Please. If you don’t come back in ten minutes, I’m going to take that as you no longer being interested and I’ll leave, but if you still feel the same about me as you did this morning...”

He didn’t finish, nor did he need to. I understood perfectly.

I pushed open my door and shoved my stiff joints out of the car. I grabbed my things from the backseat and made a path up the steps. I didn’t look back when letting myself in. The glass door slipped shut between us, and I started up the stairs.

There was a rolling emptiness inside my apartment that seemed abnormally loud to me. I wasn’t sure if it had always been there, but it was deafening. It screamed with all my indecisions, my fears, and doubts. Howling demons tormenting me, mocking me for the royal screw up I was.

But that didn’t solve my problem. It didn’t answer the question, do I follow Kieran, or do I stay? I could end it by staying up in the safety and darkness of my apartment, or I could go and hear what he had to say to all my questions.

I could go, because how I felt about him hadn’t changed, despite everything.

There was no question about it.

I had to know.

I had to ask.

I left my books on the kitchen counter, my backpack on the floor by the door, and grabbed my passport from beneath my mattress. I stuffed it into my purse with my wallet, double checked all the locks, located my cellphone from the side pocket of my bag where Kieran must have stuffed it, and winced at the slight spider web along one corner from where it had been dropped on concrete. It turned on and it wasn’t too bad, thankfully, but I knew it would bug me.

Nevertheless, it joined my passport, the charger cord, my toothbrush, and a spare pair of panties inside my purse. I also added my makeup bag and deodorant.

I didn’t know where he was taking me, but if I needed a passport, I wasn’t going without deodorant.

Satisfied I was semi prepared for anything, I locked up my apartment and made my way down.

Kieran was still there, parked along the curb, anxiously drumming his fingers on the wheel. He looked up and caught sight of me, and was immediately out of the car.

“I have questions,” I told him evenly.

He nodded and opened my door.

I got into the seat before I could change my mind and held my breath as he jogged around the hood and joined me.

Neither of us spoke as he drove. The tension was brittle, but I couldn’t find words to break it. Plus, curiosity had me watching our destination for clues.

We pulled into the airport.

“I have classes tomorrow,” I told him. “I can’t miss another day.”

“I’ll have you back in time,” he promised, tossing back his seatbelt. “Trust me.”

Not saying anything, I followed him inside. He veered away from the regular kiosks and made a path to a corner counter with a pretty blonde manning the computer. He stated his name.

“Yes, Mr. Kincaid,” she chirped. “Your plane is ready when you are.”

He was handed two tickets and motioned onward.

I’d been on a few planes during family events that required my attendance. I knew the process. But Kieran didn’t take us through the regular checkout area. I was taken into a secluded sitting lounge with leather chairs and a restaurant. It screamed executive and expensive.

We passed through it and made our way down a curved stairway to a small, discreet set up consisting of two men behind a scanning device.

I set my purse on the conveyor belt and stepped through the metal detector.

Kieran followed after me.

My purse was returned to me, our tickets were checked, then we were motioned out through a set of glass doors onto the tarmac.

A sleek, black jet awaited us several yards out. KCK was emblazoned in gold along the tail. I took a wild guess.

“Kieran Cain Kincaid.”

Kieran followed my gaze and nodded.

“What does M stand for?” I asked.

He waited until we’d reached the bottom of the ramp before answering, “Nothing. It popped into my head in the spur of the moment.”

I followed him up into the lavishly crafted airplane with its rich, shiny wood and deep leather seats. I’d never been on a private jet, but I could see the fascination; it was gorgeous. Even the air smelled sweet and spicy. And unlike normal planes, there was room for movement. There was a full sofa to stretch out on and chairs that reclined and vibrated. Not even the first-class seating David was so fond of measured up.

A brunette greeted us with a toothy smile and took the tickets from Kieran. She didn’t utter a word, not even a hello, but she motioned us in and disappeared into the cockpit.

We each claimed a seat adjacent to the other. Belts were locked into place.

Then there was nothing left to do, but sit and listen as the ramp was pulled away and the door closed. The engine started with a low purr. Then we were airborne.

“What were you doing there?” I asked him, no longer able to contain myself. “At the ... auction. Why were you there?”

Of all the questions, that was the one that refused to quit screaming inside my head. It was a full-on battle cry of uncertainty and doubt, and I couldn’t ignore it.

I had to know.

I had to strike out the idea that my Kieran was someone who went to those places to buy girls like puppies. I had to be sure I wasn’t in love with someone capable of that, that he wasn’t like David.

“I inherited it,” he replied. “My dad owned several places like that. I’ve been going through his investments, seeing which ones to keep and which to sell. The auction house was one of them. It was my first time there.”

I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. Relieved, maybe. But it didn’t answer my question.

“Why were you there?”

His lashes lowered over his eyes. “I didn’t realize what kind of auction it was until I arrived.” His gaze lifted to mine. Intense. “I didn’t go there for the girls. I’m not my father. You’re the only one I even noticed.”

It was my turn to look away. “You must have been surprised.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” he confessed. “But mostly, I was scared and angry.”

I peeked up at him. “Why?”

A muscle tensed in his jaw. “Because those men wanted you, because you were there at all, because you looked helpless and terrified, and I couldn’t get to you. I don’t like that feeling.”

I winced at the word helpless. Coming from him, it wasn’t said with pity or amusement, but I felt ... cheap. I felt pathetic. I didn’t like him thinking about me and seeing me as some weak, helpless girl he had to rescue.

“Weren’t there other girls?”

He nodded. “But they weren’t you. I wasn’t going to let anyone take you.”

“And the rest?”

“The rest?”

It was my turn to nod. “The rest. The room. You. Me. You never...” I dropped my gaze. “Why?”

He didn’t respond right away. His attention lifted over my head and he motioned to someone. I didn’t need to look to hear the click of heels as the stewardess hurry towards us.

“Sir?”

She had a nice voice. A soft, girly sound that would have sounded great on a sex tape.

“Drinks, please, Amanda. A scotch for me.”

“Nothing for me. Thanks,” I murmured when both eyes turned to me.

Amanda smiled and hurried away.

Kieran sighed. “I was going to. I went in there fully intending to take off the blindfold and haul you home. But then I walked into the room and saw you...” he trailed off with another heavy exhale. “I’m not proud of the way I handled the situation. I know I could have done things differently. But given the chance to do it over, I don’t know if I would change any of it. That night put things into perspective for me. It gave me the push I needed to take the next step. I don’t regret that.”

Amanda returned with Kieran’s drink. It was set on a tiny napkin in front of him.

“Will there be anything else, Mr. Kincaid?”

Kieran never took his eyes off me, not even when he shook his head. “No, thank you, Amanda.”

With a bob of her head, Amanda scampered off again.

“And I did try to tell you,” he continued as if we were never interrupted. “Multiple times. Even in that room. You asked me not to.”

I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth and turned my chin to the window.

He had me, because he had tried. None of this was on him. How could I possibly blame him for what happened? It was all on me. I made the choice to sell myself. He had only saved me from god knew what. It was anyone’s guess what could have happened if he hadn’t. Who knew the type of person I could have wound up with. They could have done anything to me. My first time could have been a nightmare, but it wasn’t.

It had been amazing.

He had been amazing.

He’d been gentle and caring.

He’d put me first and made sure I was okay.

True, it wasn’t how I would have liked to be with him, to have my first time, but it had been perfect.

“I’m sorry,” I said at last. “I’m treating you like you did something wrong and you didn’t. I owe you so much—”

“Gabby.”

I shook my head, stopping him. “You saved my life.” I bolted down my courage and faced him head on. “I don’t know how many men were behind that glass. I don’t know what kind of people they were, but I can’t imagine they were upstanding gentlemen if they were there willingly to buy girls. You kept me from that, from them. You protected me. You spent an insane amount of money ... god, so much...” I scrubbed at my forehead with the tips of my fingers. “I can’t even ... I can’t ever repay that.”

“I don’t want it.”

I ignored him. “But I can return half. Forty percent, actually. It’s everything I was given—”

“Gabby.”

“No!” I silenced him with a glower. “I’m not ... I can’t keep it. I don’t want it. I’m not ... I’m not an idiot. I don’t care how they fancy up the word, or gloss it up to make it sound decent. It’s not. You paid to fuck me. You paid a fucking shit ton to get into my pants. I don’t know if it was worth it, because over a million dollars for someone’s virginity is crazy, but you did it and I let you. I know what that makes me.”

“Stop.”

There was a dark warning in his eyes, in the firm set of his lips, in the fists curling into the armrests of his chair, but the word had already dropped onto the table between us.

“A whore.”

He was out of his seat before I could draw in a breath. His fingers closed into my coat and I was hauled up with him. He tore open the bulky fabric and shoved it down my arms.

“Kieran—?”

It was ripped from my body and pitched back into my empty chair. His coat was tossed into his. Then his hands were in my hair, gripping tight enough to pull strands from their roots and send tiny, electric ripples down my spine.

“You ever use that word again...” His hold tightened until I winced. “You won’t like what I do, do you understand? A whore is someone who sleeps with anyone. How many men have you been with, Gabrielle?”

I flinched at the use of my full name on his lips. I couldn’t even recall the last time he’d ever said it like that. I sure as hell didn’t like it.

“One,” I whispered.

“Me,” he corrected. “You’ve only been with me and that is never going to change. I’m your first and, God help me, but I will be your last.” He pulled me snug against him, leaving not even a sliver of space between us. “And I didn’t pay to fuck you. I paid to get the woman I love away from that fucking place. I would have paid double. Triple, if I had to. I would have sold everything I own to keep those bastards away from you. You’re mine, Gabby. Not because I paid for you, but because I fucking love you.”

“I’m still giving the money back,” I croaked around the beating organ lodged in my throat.

His fingers slipped free of my hair and drew forward to cup my jaw. His thumbs wedged between my chin, forcing my head back.

“Fine,” he bit out through clenched teeth. “But I’m still keeping you.”

Of their own consent, my fingers lifted to touch the smooth hollow of his cheek. They traced the curve to his sharp jawline and down to smooth over his lips.

He kissed the tips and the gesture surged hot down my arm.

“Would you still want me if it had been someone else?” I looked past his mouth to his eyes. “If it hadn’t been you that night and I told you the truth, would you still want to keep me?”

“Yes.” He never even hesitated. “You could have slept with every man in there and I would still love you.”

The very image was revolting. I didn’t understand it.

“Why?”

“I told you, you became mine yesterday. That was when you and me became a we, and you became mine. Not before. Not the auction. Not the night on your sofa. Yesterday, at exactly six-twenty PM when I had you up against my car, that’s the only point in our lives that I’m counting from.”

“That’s crazy.”

He shook his head slowly, thumb tracing the seam of my mouth. “No, sweetheart, that’s simple logic. I’m not going to judge you for the things you had to do before me.”

I could only simply stare at him, bewildered by the man peering back at me as if I somehow held all the answers to life’s problems.

“Who are you?”

“I’ll let you decide.”

He gathered me up into his arms and hauled me to the sofa. I was placed on the leather cushions and he quickly followed, positioning us with me half on top. His knee wedged between my thighs and he tucked my front perfectly against his.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered into the taut skin at his throat.

He shrugged. “But you’re stuck with me.”

I tipped my head back to peer up at him. “You love me.”

One eyebrow lifted the same time his finger swept back a lock of hair off my temple. “Finally setting in, is it?”

I caught the hand and held its palm to my cheek. “I mean I never expected you would.”

“Weird.” He dropped his hands and slid them around my middle. He clasped them at the small of my spine. “Maybe you missed it during one of your panicked dashes away from me.”

I chuckled grimly. “You don’t understand. David and Cordelia have been planning this match since the moment Eric brought you home. David has been working his ass off to make sure you marry his daughter.”

“And I fully intend to.”

I hesitated, torn between divulging the family’s dark secret and letting him continue believing the lie. I opted for the first. I had promised him I wouldn’t lie, and maybe, once he understood what he was dealing with, he might come to his senses and realize what a mistake he was making.

“I’m not David’s daughter. I’m not even related to him.”

As I’d expected, confusion pulled furrows into his brow. “What? What are you talking about?”

There was no turning back now. The can of worms had been opened and all the filth and slime was pouring out.

“My mom had an affair and I am the result. I’m not David’s. I’m not even a real Thornton, but the truth would ruin the family name, so, he claimed me as his.”

“Jesus,” he murmured. “So, who’s your dad?”

I shrugged, deliberately fixated on the braided threads woven into his black sweater. “Mom says she was drunk during a cruise. Could have been anyone. She woke up the next morning, naked and pregnant.”

He was silent for a long time, whole minutes where I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes and he couldn’t stop stroking my hair. His every warm breath brushed my forehead and ruffled the wisps of hair falling into my eyes. It washed over my face with the clean scent of mint.

“If you still want me,” I continued softly, “this is it.” I raised my chin with what was left of my willpower. I caught his warm, whiskey eyes with my pale green ones. “I have no fortune. I have no money at all. I’m several thousand in debt. I live in a dump that I’m sure will burn down one day with me in it, and I drive a car held together by duct tape and dreams. I was in that auction because...” I faltered, the words sticking to the inside of my chest. It broke my resolve and my chin dropped once more, but I pulled myself together just long enough to murmur a half truth, “I needed the money.”

It wasn’t everything, but I didn’t have the stomach to tell him the rest. I would maybe someday, but I had already told him more about me in a single hour than I’d told anyone. He was practically an expert on my life now.

“I have a fortune,” he murmured. “I have a massive house and two garages full of cars. I have more things then I could properly catalogue. I have properties all over the world, a company that shits billions with just a sneeze, and a mother I only see on holidays and parties.” He paused to skim the bent knuckle on one finger along my jawline. “You can have all of it, right down to my very last sock. It means nothing to me. Just like your bloodline and your bank account make no difference in how I feel about you.”

“You’d be marrying a nobody.”

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “My dad married my mom out of obligation. It’s mandatory for the men in my family to be married by thirty and have produced an heir by thirty-five.”

I hissed through my teeth. “You’re behind, Mr. Kincaid.”

He nodded and gave a lock of my hair a gentle tug. “My mom’s only job was to give my father a son. Once that had been complete, he had his string of mistresses and she had her lovers. He had his penthouse and the room down the hall, and she had her own separate living quarters. I never saw my parents in the same room together, unless it was for a function and it was necessary. When my father died, my mother packed up her things and left the manor that same week as if his existence had been shackles keeping her to that place.”

The hair in his grip twisted around one finger. He watched it, riveted in the motion, but lost in his story. The memories echoed in his eyes, a haunted glow that wrenched my heart.

“Kieran...”

His lashes lifted and I found myself reflected amongst all his pain. “No one is perfect, Gabby. If you can accept that I was an obligation to carry on a name, then I can accept that you’re not a Thornton.”

“David won’t like this,” I whispered, fear tightening my stomach muscles. “He’s going to be so angry.”

Something pensive crossed over Kieran’s features, a passing wariness that narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. The finger toying with my hair stopped, and he simply studied me.

“Was he the one who put his hands on you the other night?”

I stiffened. “What?”

The tip of his fingers brushed my jaw where the faint reminder of David’s touch still lingered.

“I’m not blind, Gabby,” he murmured. “I wasn’t sure at first. You had it covered up pretty good, but I saw it that night on your sofa, after you’d washed the makeup off.”

“I don’t...”

His finger settled on my lips. “You promised never to lie to me.”

My lashes lowered. “It’s complicated.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not, not anymore. If he puts one finger on you again, I’ll end him. That includes your mother, your sister, and your brother. I will ruin all of them.”

I started to shake my head. “I don’t want you to—”

“Sorry, love, it’s not about what you want, not when it comes to this. I won’t make many demands of you, or ask you to do anything you don’t want, but you won’t stop me from destroying anyone who hurts you.”

I kissed him, my emotions getting the better of me. I momentarily lost myself in the safety and happiness he promised. I lost myself in the possibilities.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked when I lifted my head for air.

He grinned. “You’ll see.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidnapping me?”

He pulled my face back down to his. “Oh, absolutely.”

It was a five and a half hour flight, five hours of snuggling with Kieran on the sofa. We stayed away from topics of my family, but the rest of the world was open for discussion. I loved the sound of his voice and the little grin that always tugged at the corner of his mouth a split second before his face bloomed into a full-blown smile. I loved how his eyes always went to my mouth just before his fingers reached to touch my face. If I hadn’t already been, I could have easily lost my heart to him.

We landed with a gentle bump of rubber on asphalt. The jet glided down a long runway before coming to a curving stop next to a building. We were released onto the tarmac. Kieran took my hand and led me into the structure. No one stopped us as we cut through the row of desks and sitting area to the other set of doors on the other side.

The air was warm, wherever we were. A drastic change to the frigid fall we’d left behind. I was almost glad he’d insisted we leave our coats on the plane.

A car was already waiting for us when we left the building. The black Lincoln waited at the bottom of a series of stairs, a driver next to it.

The door was opened and Kieran motioned me in first.

“Where are we?” I asked as he climbed in after me.

“I’m not entirely sure,” he lied with a mischievous squint at our surroundings.

I poked him, but didn’t ask again.

My question was answered a few minutes later when we passed a sign heading southwest on Vicksburg Ave.

“We’re in LA?” I gasped, craning my neck to get a better glimpse of the sign, but we’d already passed it.

He merely shrugged, but there was no missing it. We were heading down Ocean Ave.

I’d never been to California, but I was already in love with it. The heat, the sights, and sounds, it was sensory overload of the best kind. I couldn’t look at everything fast enough.

When we pulled into Santa Monica Pier, I about died.

“No!” I cried, rounding on the man seated next to me. “Seriously?”

His answer was to roll out of the car with a smirk and round the trunk to my side before the driver could. My door was opened and he helped me out.

“Why would you do this?”

He shut the door behind me. “Because you said you’ve always wanted to go.”

I frowned despite the massive grin I couldn’t conceal. “When?”

He said something quietly to the driver before turning back to me. “At Dolores Nesbit’s eightieth birthday party.” He slipped his fingers through mine. “You were wearing that off the shoulder black number with the silver threads and strappy, silver heels. Most of your hair was pinned up, but there were curls left free down your back that I swear taunted me to coil around my fingers the entire night. Dolores mentioned having visited the park with her great niece that summer and you said you’d always wanted to go.”

I stared at him, my brain doing the math. “That was three years ago.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“How could you possibly remember that?”

He lowered his head a notch until I was falling into his eyes. “I always remember the things that make your eyes light up.”

I sucked in a breath. “You need to stop that.”

His head cocked to one side. “What’s that?”

“Being too good to be true.”

He squeezed my fingers. “Maybe later. Come on. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“But I’m not dressed for a day at a beach.”

He tugged me along. “We can fix that.”

I got no say as he pulled me into a women’s shop, nor did the sales woman who tried to help us. He shook his head and moved through the racks until he’d found the items he was looking for.

A two-piece bathing suit in white and a cover were pressed into my hands before I was forcibly shoved towards the change rooms. The tags were snapped off before he yanked the curtains closed behind me.

I didn’t know how he knew my size perfectly, but it all fit when I stepped out. He was already waiting with a bag for my old clothes and a pair of flipflops. I switched my runners as he shoved my clothes into the bag.

“How do I look?”

The bikini wasn’t as revealing as I would have expected. It was designed for comfort and actual usage in the water as opposed to simply showing off my boobs. The halter cupped both my breasts comfortably and looped in a knot at my neck and back. The briefs had little ties over the hips, but covered the important parts without crawling up my crack. All of it was covered by the sheer, white tunic that slipped off one shoulder and cinched around my waist. It stopped at midthigh and was light enough to allow the breeze to cool the sweat collecting along my skin.

“Delicious,” he replied evenly, lighting every place his gaze lingered on fire. “Come. My turn.”

The same way he’d selected my outfit, he found himself a pair of black trunks and man sandals. Nothing else.

I had never been so happy in my life.

The sight of his specimen of a body on display was the perfect topping to the day. Every rugged muscle gleamed under the blazing sun. They bunched and rolled with his every movement, drawing the eyes to his broad back and the structure of his front. I’d had a front row seat to all his splendor for most of the night, but in broad day light ... he was poetry in motion. I couldn’t even fault the glances he earned from passing women as we made our way to the pier.

“What do you want to do first?” he asked, oblivious to all the eyes stripping him. “We can eat, if you’re hungry? What?”

I shook my head with a chuckle. “Nothing. You’re just ridiculously hot.”

“Ridiculously?”

I chuckled harder. “You know what I mean. You’re gorgeous. I’m pretty sure there’s a law against that, or should be.”

“Against being gorgeous?”

I dug a finger into his side. “Stop that.” I squinted up at him warily. “You can’t tell me you don’t know. There hasn’t been a single woman we’ve passed who hasn’t nearly broken her neck getting a second glance.”

That seemed to be news to him when he raised his head and actually looked around us for these passing women. I expected to see triumph or even arrogance when he spotted a couple. Instead, he huh’d and gave a shrug like he hadn’t noticed.

“So,” he turned back to me without missing a beat. “Food?”

Still shaking my head, I replied, “I want to go on the beach before the sun goes down.”

Our afternoon was filled with slow kisses in the North Pacific Ocean and long walks under the darkening skies. When dusk set, we moved with the crowd along the pier, taking turns losing at the game booths and picking rides to go on next. We gorged on greasy foods and sweet confections until I was sure I’d be sick, but I loved it. It couldn’t have been better. I almost whined when he told me it was time to leave.

“We could stay,” he coaxed into my ear. “I’ll get us a room and we’ll stay the whole week.”

But I knew that wasn’t possible. Every fantasy had to end at some point.

“I can’t miss anymore classes,” I mumbled.

He kissed me.

“Eight months, right?”

I chuckled, and nodded against his mouth.

He exhaled and raised his head. “All right, but know that your days are numbered.”

I bumped my nose against his and earned another kiss. But I broke it after only a few seconds.

“I have to ask you for something,” I whispered. “I’ll never ask for anything ever again, but you have to promise me this.”

That sobered him up. His arms remained secure around me, but there was wariness in his narrowed eyes.

“Not promising anything until you tell me what it is.”

I figured as much, but a part of me had hoped he’d simply go in blind.

“Can we keep this from my family until after graduation?”

His frown deepened. “Why?”

I looked away. “I promised I wouldn’t lie to you. I’m asking you to trust me.” I forced myself to find his eyes once more. “I’ll tell them myself after, and I’ll explain everything to you. I promise. Please?”

Kieran remained unconvinced. I could see his mind working, flipping my request around up in there, trying to figure out the angles, but he never would. He would never understand, and I didn’t want him to.

“Please?” I pressed. “Just this one thing.”

“Fine,” he murmured at long last. “But right after graduation ... I’m not holding back anymore.”

What choice did I have, but to agree?