Chapter Fourteen
I nervously braid my hair in the WAGS lounge as we wait for the guys to come out. All the other women are celebrating the Mountain Lions victory tonight. The Mountain Lions won 2-0, with Jude and Gavin scoring the only goals in the game and Maxime making a brilliant pass to assist Gavin.
I’m sitting with Sierra and JoJo in a corner of the plush lounge, and they keep trying to engage me in conversation, but I can’t. I should be eagerly checking the time, impatient for Maxime to appear in the doorway.
But I don’t feel excited or happy at the thought of seeing Maxime. In fact, I feel dread. I feel anguish thinking of what is to come in a matter of minutes.
While my head knows I’m doing the right thing, my heart tells me I’m letting go of someone truly incredible. He is a man that could have been everything but, instead, will be someone I’ll never get to know beyond our date last night.
I know I’m doing the right thing. I had the rest of the night to think about it and picture how disastrous things would be if we continued to date. My next romance will get coverage, even more so because I will have “replaced” Tom with a professional athlete. That has star power to it. Maxime would hate being tabloid fodder; that’s not him. He has to deal with the public because he plays professional hockey, but nothing like this. He would hate the sleazy invasion into his dating life, however temporary it might be. I can’t imagine him on a tabloid cover, or as the subject of some breezy gossip report on an entertainment channel.
He would eventually hate me for it.
I braid my hair faster, my fingers moving at a rapid rate. I couldn’t bear it if he ended up resenting me down the line for putting his life out there by default. I would die if all of this ended up embarrassing him and causing him to regret ever seeing me.
No. I won’t do that.
I’m going to tell Maxime I need to speak to him alone and that I can’t go to dinner with our friends.
I will tell him I can’t see him again.
“I hope Veronica isn’t in your head,” Sierra says, interrupting my thoughts.
I don’t break from looping my hair over and under, working through the locks to keep from getting teary.
“No,” I say, which is the truth. “These are all my thoughts. My decisions. Veronica simply made some valid points.”
In a flash, JoJo’s hand is on my arm. “Wait. What does that mean?”
I don’t look at her. “Maxime and I. We … we aren’t a match.”
“Skye, you can’t be serious,” JoJo urgently whispers. “Listen to me; she’s an idiot. She is a horrible human who gets her kicks out of two things in life: spending Gavin’s money and getting inside people’s heads. Don’t give her this power.”
“She’s not wrong. Maxime is private. You both know that. My life is not. Can you imagine Maxime in a gossip magazine? On the cover? With some stupid made-up story about us? Because that’s reality. It will happen. What happens when his peace and privacy are ripped away from him?”
I see JoJo and Sierra digesting my words. The sick feeling in my stomach worsens.
“I’m right,” I say with defeat. “You know I am.”
“Doesn’t Maxime have the right to decide for himself if he wants to make this kind of trade-off?” Sierra insists.
“How can he decide that when he has no idea what it will be like?” I counter. “I thought I knew what the ramifications of being on a reality TV show would be on my life, but I had no clue the depths of it until I went through it. The biggest difference is that I wanted it. I wanted to be on TV; I still want a career on camera. Maxime doesn’t.”
JoJo opens her mouth to protest, but before she can, players start trickling into the room.
“I know this is for the best,” I say firmly.
I look toward the entrance. Anxiety fills me as I watch for Maxime to appear.
As a stream of unfamiliar faces passes by, nausea rises within me. Soon I will see a face I do know.
One I will say goodbye to.
Jude walks into the room, and a sharp pain runs through me. Maxime won’t be far behind him. He smiles and comes straight toward us, and we all rise to greet him.
“Hey, baby,” Sierra says, reaching for him and holding his face in her hands. “You were on fire tonight.”
Envy grips me knowing I’ll never be able to congratulate Maxime like this.
He drops a sweet kiss on her lips. “Thank you, love. We’ll need to ask your Magic 8 Ball if I’ll score more goals on this coming road trip.”
Sierra grins at him. “I’d say, ‘It is decidedly so.’”
They both laugh, and my gaze shifts toward the door.
Gavin is next to walk in, and Veronica is busy talking to some of the other WAGS as he approaches her. Sierra and JoJo have told me he’s super nice, and they don’t understand their relationship at all.
I decide I don’t want to start this conversation here, with all these people around. I want to catch Maxime in the hallway so we can go somewhere private. I owe him that much.
“Excuse me,” I say. “I’m going to look for Maxime.”
“Please don’t,” JoJo says, pleading with me to change my mind. “Don’t do it. I think it’s a mistake.”
“Do what?” Jude asks, a crease forming across his brow.
“Nothing,” I say. “And it’s not.”
I walk through the lounge, the sick feeling coursing through me as I move. I exit into the hallway, and as soon as I turn to my left, I see Cade and Maxime heading toward me.
The second I see Maxime, I realize how hard this is going to be. I take him in, but it’s not the exquisite charcoal-gray suit, that is tailored to fit his athletic frame, or the way his thick gold-brown locks are fantastically tousled on his head that causes me to stare.
It’s his expression.
I swallow hard as I see the light shining in his gorgeous blue-green eyes. They lit up the second he spotted me, and a brilliant smile flashed across his handsome face. No man has ever looked at me that way before.
When I watched Is It Love?, I realized Tom looked at every woman the same. There was nothing unique or genuine. His expression was always fixed, and he wore the same smile throughout filming.
But the second Maxime’s eyes landed on me, his expression changed. He went from smiling and talking to Cade to looking deeply happy simply from seeing me.
Maxime’s eyes are his soul.
How can I stop seeing him? How? My heart is wrenching. I know he’s special. I know this man is a good man, who is funny and sweet and intelligent, and who has kissed me like nobody ever has, with desire and emotion. He made me feel like he’s never kissed another woman in the same way. He remembered me from that café in Brussels and regretted not asking if I was okay, because he can already read what is in my eyes.
You have your answer, my head whispers. You have to let him go for all these reasons. Maxime is a good man who doesn’t want his life splashed across tabloids in a grocery store. He deserves better than this.
Stopping this now, before he ends up resenting me, is what I have to do.
“Hey, Skye, how are you?” Cade calls out as they approach me. “Welcome to Colorado.”
He reaches in to give me a friendly hug, and I manage to avoid looking at Maxime for a moment. Looking at his handsome, expressive face is unbearable, knowing I’m about to change everything between us. While he thinks we are going out for sushi with friends to celebrate the victory tonight, I know the truth.
I’m going to hurt him, and that thought kills me.
I force a smile on my face as I step back from Cade. “Thank you. I’m happy to be here.”
“We’re all glad you’re here, too,” Cade says, flashing me a grin. “I know JoJo is thrilled. I think Maxime is, too. Aren’t you, Maxie?”
He winks at Maxime, and I detect a bit of a flush sweeping across Maxime’s etched cheekbones.
“Why don’t you go find JoJo and let her put up with your annoying self?” Maxime jokes.
Cade laughs. “I’m just glad I can finally tease you about someone.”
With his words, the lump in my stomach becomes a heavy boulder.
“So where is my girl?” Cade asks, oblivious to my torment. “I thought you’d all be together.”
“She’s in the lounge with Jude and Sierra,” I explain. “I came out to get some air.”
“Are you feeling okay, Skye?” Maxime quickly asks, assessing me for any sign of illness.
No, I think, staring at him. I’m not okay.
“Skye?” Maxime asks again.
“Um,” I say, the words sticking in my throat because my heart doesn’t want to let them out, “can you walk with me, Maxime?”
I feel Cade’s eyes on me and then Maxime.
“We’ll wait for you guys in the lounge,” Cade says, taking his cue.
“What is it?” Maxime asks, closing the gap between us and putting his hands protectively on my face. “Are you sick? Do I need to take you home?”
The second he touches me, I know this is the last time I’ll ever have the warmth of his hands on my face or feel the roughness of his skin against mine. It’s the last time I’ll see him gaze down at me with nothing but concern for my well-being.
To my surprise, tears flood my eyes. I shouldn’t be this upset. I’ve had one date with him, one. How can I have a feeling of loss like this?
“Skye?” Maxime asks, his voice growing with alarm. “What’s happening? Tell me.”
People pass us in the corridor, and I don’t want any of his teammates to see this.
“Is there somewhere private we can go?” I get out, my voice shaking.
Maxime furrows his brow and looks around. Next to the family lounge is a media room, which is vacant since the players have already done post-game interviews.
He puts his arm around my shoulders and escorts me to the vacant room. There are white tables and folding chairs and bright fluorescent lighting. It’s cold and unwelcoming, and I’d rather be anywhere but here, having to say what I need to say to Maxime.
“You should sit,” Maxime says, moving in front of me and unfolding a chair.
“Maxime, no,” I say.
He stops and stares at me.
“Maxime, I’m not sick,” I begin. A huge lump swells in my throat, and I can’t speak. I swallow hard several times before I can. “I don’t think we should go out again,” I say softly.
He stares at me in disbelief. One hand grips a folding chair as Maxime freezes in place.
“What?” he asks.
“I’ve thought about this a lot tonight,” I say. “Maxime, please understand that I like you. I like you a lot, which is the problem.”
My heart catches as Maxime doesn’t move. I see his chest rise and fall, his beautiful eyes a sea of confusion.
“I don’t see a problem,” he says simply.
“That part is not, but I am,” I say, my voice cracking. “We’re very different people. I’m afraid we won’t work in the long run.”
Maxime’s hand has tightened on the chair. I think I’m going to throw up.
“Usually women wait to get to know me before making that assessment,” he says as his knuckles turn white.
“Maxime, no,” I plead. “You’re an incredible man, the most incredible man I’ve ever had the honor of going out with.”
Maxime drops the chair, and I jump back from the sound of it clattering on the concrete floor.
“I don’t understand,” Maxime says, his eyes searching mine for an answer. “Everything was fine last night on our date, and in our conversations today. You kissed me like you meant it. So, yeah, I’m confused right now. What happened to make you change your mind?”
“You have done nothing wrong; this is all about me. I just don’t think our lifestyles will match up in the long run.”
Maxime exhales loudly. “You’re making it very clear it’s me. The way I live would eventually bore you. I’ll bore you. I should thank you for picking up on it now rather than later. I’ve been there. I won’t go through that again.”
Juliette, my brain calculates. Something went wrong after Maxime fell in love with her.
“No, no, that’s not it,” I say urgently, not wanting him to think this.
“Don’t humiliate me by lying. If you don’t want to see me, you don’t have to. We can be friends. That’s what you are going to suggest next, right?”
“I’m not lying,” I cry, shaking my head. “Do you really think I want this?”
“You’re the one asking for it,” Maxime snaps, raking his hands through his hair in frustration. “Of course, you want this.”
My carefully controlled emotions suddenly erupt from me.
“You will hate me if we start dating!” I blurt out.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Do you want to be on the cover of tabloids? Do you want awful things written about you just because you are dating me? Because you will. I like you so much that I have to think about the ramifications on your life if we continued to date. If you are with me, people will talk. They will take pictures and gossip, and you guard your privacy so fiercely. It will all go to hell if you date me. Even when the tabloids get tired of the story and move on, it will never end on social media. I can’t do this to you because I do like you. After that one date, I like you a lot, more than I should, and I know if I keep seeing you, that will grow. As much as I want to date you, and, believe me, I want that more than you could ever know, I won’t destroy your life like that. As much as this kills me now, I would rather stop seeing you than see resentment in your eyes when you look at me. This is the truth. I can’t ruin your life like this. I won’t.”
I’m shaking as I turn and walk toward the door. I’ve said more than I wanted, but my heart did all the talking. I’m leaving Maxime behind, when all I want to do is run to him. I blink back tears, the what-ifs of what we could have had haunting me before I leave the room.
I could have fallen for you, Maxime Laurent, I think as I reach the doorframe. Now I’ll never know what that could have been like.
I’m just about to step through the door when Maxime slams the door shut angrily with one hand. I gasp in shock, and Maxime turns me around and presses my back against the door, framing my face in his hands.
“I’m not walking away from you,” Maxime says urgently.
I fight back tears. “Maxime, please. You should.”
“No,” he says, his voice strong. “I’m not. Not now. Not after that date. Not after what you just said. I’m a man. I can handle what I choose to handle. And I choose this. Us. I choose you.”
Then his mouth urgently closes over mine.