I’m happy when Konstantin calls, but unhappy when he says he will be away on a business trip. The next two days pass in a suffocating blur of waiting. By the time Friday rolls around I am in a state of jittery nerves. I wake up early and start making breakfast for all of us. Janna is sitting at the kitchen table, her cheek leaning on the palm of her hand, telling me about a boy in her playschool who keeps using a bad word.

Ever since she found out I would be going away and she would not be coming, she keeps curling herself around me and acting clingy, but Cindy has arranged for her to go see some horses later this afternoon, so even though she is still a bit anxious to be parted from me, she is in a fairly upbeat mood.

“What was the word?” I ask.

“Am I allowed to say it?”

I put a plate of buttered toast strips in front of her. “Just this once.”

“Poop.”

I put her soft-boiled egg into an eggcup and set it before her. “Hmmm … That’s not very nice of him.”

“That’s what I said.”

I sit in front of her. “Well, here’s what I think. I think it doesn’t matter what anybody else does. If you think a word is bad just don’t use it.”

“Mummy?”

“Yes.”

“Where is Konstantin taking you?” she asks, nibbling at her strip of toast.

“I don’t know. It’s meant to be a surprise.”

She stops nibbling and looks at me with round curious eyes. “But what if he takes you somewhere you don’t like?”

“Well, usually, when someone gives you a surprise they make sure that it’s something you’re going to like.”

She looks concerned. “Is it somewhere very far away?”

“No, darling. Remember, I’m not taking my passport which means I won’t even be leaving the country.” I smile reassuringly. “I’ll be at the end of the phone. You can call me anytime you want.”

She nods and dips her finger into the runny yellow of her egg. I hold back from telling her off because I don’t want this morning to be anything but happy and fun for her.

“Before you know it, I’ll be back. Today you’ll go to see the horses, tonight you’ll be staying with Nan and Grandad, and tomorrow you’ll spend the whole day at Thorpe Park with Aunty Cindy. You can go on the rides and have candy floss. Would you like that?”

She nods again.

“And I’ll be back the next day.”

“I’m trying to be brave, but it’s really hard,” she blurts out suddenly.

My heart contracts painfully. I can’t bear to see Janna unhappy. It makes me think I am letting Octavia down. “I don’t have to go, little munchkin,” I say immediately.

Before she can answer, Cindy’s door flies open, and she walks out with chunks of her hair covering her face and her hands outstretched in front of her as if she is a zombie. “Fe Fi Fo Fum I smell the blood of an English girl,” she roars in a guttural voice.

Immediately, Janna hops off her chair and shoots across the room. She jumps behind the sofa squealing with fear and delight. Cindy chases her, tackles her to the ground, and starts blowing raspberries on her stomach. She giggles until she is breathless.

It makes me smile to see that Janna has already forgotten to be unhappy because I am going away. I know Cindy will keep her occupied doing fun things while I am gone.

* * *

Konstantin comes to pick me up in a steel-gray, four door Mercedes. He tosses my small suitcase into its roomy trunk. Dressed in a pair of jeans and a button up shirt he is more casual, but no less devastating. When he turns those hot eyes my way I feel my heartbeat quicken and I remember the fire between us, his hands on me, his lips on mine, and his long, lean body pressing into my own.

He installs me in the passenger side, gets into the driver’s seat, and off we go.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask.

A small smile plays on his lips as the guarded eyes turn to me. “What is your definition of a surprise?”

“Everything is a mystery with you,” I say, only half-joking.

The little smile goes, and his face becomes expressionless. “What do you mean?”

“You never talk about yourself. Ever. I’ll admit mysterious men are kinda sexy, but it would be nice to know a little bit more about you.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Just give me something. Anything. Even a simple thing about your family.”

His expression stays motionless.

“You said you have siblings. How many? Where do they live? What do they do for a living?” I stop myself from going any further. I want to know everything about him, but aiming rapid fire questions at him might be a good way to send him running for cover.

He doesn’t take his eyes off the road, or react to my questions, but the temperature drops in the car. A definite chill settles in the air as he answers in a voice completely devoid of emotion. “I had two brothers. They died. Many years ago.”

Oh God! Trust me to go and put my big foot into it. Both his brothers died? Must have been some kind of tragedy. Is that why he is so withdrawn and reserved? I knew there must be some terrible things buried deep in his past to explain the don’t-come-any-closer air he gives off. I know a little about tragedy myself. I closed off too after Octavia died. Of course, I couldn’t turn off completely, not with Janna to take care of.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean to bring up something so painful.”

The light playfulness of a few minutes ago has completely disappeared, and it’s all my fault for prying. Why couldn’t I have left good enough alone? Still, can anyone blame me for wanting to know more about a man I’m falling for?

Suddenly he reaches out and squeezes my leg. “No need to apologize. It’s hardly your fault. It happened a very long time ago. Let’s just enjoy the weekend, okay?”

“Okay,” I agree readily.

“What else would you like to know?” he asks.

“Whatever you want to tell me,” I say cautiously.

He purses his lips, which I’ve learned is his way of swallowing a smile. “I’ve told you everything you need to know. If you feel you need more you’ll have to ask me.”

I chew at my lower lip. I have a hundred questions, a thousand questions, but now I’m afraid to ask them, afraid that I could unearth more painful events from his past. I don’t want to risk stumbling into another landmine.

I go for the safe option. “How old are you?”

“I am thirty-two.”

“Okay. Good to know. What kinds of things do you enjoy?”

“What I enjoy? I enjoy fucking you a great deal.” His deep voice purrs the words.

“Are you doing that on purpose?” I burst out, cheeks tingling. How easily he can send me sprawling into embarrassment.

He glances at me and smiles. “Doing what?”

“You make me … all hot and bothered. And you do it really well,” I say tartly.

He gives a low chuckle. “The feeling is mutual.”

“It is? I can’t imagine anyone making you feel hot and bothered.”

The lights are red and he turns to me, his face dead serious. “You’ll be surprised how hot and bothered you make me feel.”

I stare at him in astonishment. For a few seconds I can’t look away from his face, then he smiles tightly and proceeds to properly answer my original question. “I enjoy good food, fine wines, books, beautiful cars, and … beautiful women.”

The last part pierces the soft place around my heart. Just how many beautiful women has he taken away for a weekend? The surge of jealousy surprises me. I’ve let this go way too fast in such a short amount of time.

My voice is sharp and sarcastic. “Is that what you have listed on your tinder profile? Konstantin, thirty-two, enjoys fine dining, cars, and beautiful women.”

He laughs. “I don’t have a tinder account.”

“This is exactly what I mean. I know next to nothing about you.”

“Why the rush, little Raven? You have the whole weekend to get to know me.” His eyes slide down to my mouth.

“Yes,” I say, breathless for no apparent reason. Sometimes, he just sucks the air out of the room.

“We’ll arrive shortly.”

We were still in the middle of the city. “I thought we were going away?”

“We are.”

Bathed in the luxurious scent of his aftershave, I lean my head back on the headrest and watch the changing view go by my window. I’m not going to ask anything else. It’s a surprise. We come to a stop outside an office block.

“Why are we stopping here?” I ask curiously.

“Come on,” he says and gets out of the car. He takes the bags out of the trunk and we go into the building. He nods to the receptionist who throws him a dazzling smile. It is not so bright by the time it reaches me.

“Do you work here or something?”

“Nope,” he says leading me to the lift.

“This is all very mysterious,” I comment.

He grins, but says nothing.

The lift rises to the very top floor, the doors whoosh open and we are on the roof top.