Chapter 16

Josie

If there’s one thing I appreciate about progress in a medical setting, it’s the fact that cafeteria food has gotten really good in recent years. This is a bonus for me, so I don’t have to worry about packing food to bring each day. Of course, I’m lucky if I’m able to scrape together fifteen to thirty minutes to be able to eat during my shift.

I choose a sandwich and a small side salad along with a bottle of water and make my way to the checkout lane. I’m only half paying attention to my surroundings when I hear, “Hey, Josie.”

I spin around and see Aiden standing two customers back. He has tray of food in his hands and I wonder why he’s here at the hospital cafeteria.

Aiden nods down to my tray and then back to me with a grin. “Looks like I get to have that lunch with you sooner than I thought.”

I laugh and give him a nod of acknowledgment. “I guess that would be true.”

I’m actually relieved to run into Aiden in a hospital setting. There’s something about having my white lab coat on that feels like some type of protection. I also didn’t want to be in any circumstance with him where he would take me out for lunch somewhere that is too “datelike.” So this works out perfectly.

“I’ll get us a table,” I tell him, and turn away to pay for my food before he can offer to do the same, because I know Aiden, and he would have.

I find a booth that’s out of the way and with no one sitting around. Not that I require privacy, but merely because the table looked like it had been wiped down recently. With the amount of hospital staff and visitors who come through this cafeteria, it’s not easy to find a clean table, as most are eating and dashing with another horde waiting for the table.

By the time I’ve chewed my first bite of sandwich, Aiden is sliding into the seat opposite me. I can tell with one glance down at his plate that there are some things that haven’t changed about him. He’s got his typical salad with a lean protein—this time a grilled chicken breast—and dressing on the side. Aiden was always one to eat super healthy and he worked out diligently.

Aiden beams across the table at me and says, “Gosh, Josie. It’s so damn good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” I say, although my smile doesn’t beam as brightly as his. “So, tell me all about what you’ve been up to over the last two years. Kevin has kept me updated when he hears from you.”

Aiden nods his head. “The ability to get emails out was spotty at best, so I wasn’t able to update Kevin all that much. My first year I worked down in Haiti. The country was struggling to recover from the last hurricane, as well as some strikes that were going on in their public hospitals. And that was good. Really important work we were doing. But ultimately it got a little boring, so I volunteered to go to Yemen. That’s where I’ve been for the past year, and it was a little dicey at times.”

I sit and listen to Aiden tell me an incredible story that fills me with horror and awe that he would do such a thing. Yemen has been involved in a full-scale war the for the past few years. Medical services are critically needed, and many hospitals have been shut down due to air strikes, shelling, lack of supplies, and doctors and nurses getting killed. I don’t know much about Doctors Without Borders, because frankly I never bothered to look after Aiden made his decision to leave. It’s almost as if I was avoiding any acknowledgment of the organization. But as Aiden continues, I learn that it was beyond dangerous. Many of his friends and colleagues have been killed over the past year.

“Why would you put your life in such danger for a country that means nothing to you?” I ask Aiden. I know that sounds like a selfish and attacking question, but I just can’t quite comprehend it.

Aiden gives me a knowing smile. “Honestly, Josie…the danger is part of the appeal. I mean, I want to practice medicine and save lives, but I just couldn’t imagine at that point in my life doing it in a modern hospital setting. The danger sort of made me feel alive.”

What I really want to say to Aiden is that’s a stupid fucking reason for taking a job. It’s also a stupid fucking reason for leaving your girlfriend of three years, and this is the first I’ve heard about his apparent hard-on for danger. But I don’t say those things because none of it matters right now. He went and did his thing and I moved on.

So I just give him an interested smile. “That’s really incredible. Good for you.”

After Aiden takes a bite of salad, he says, “But I’m actually a bit burned out from that way of life. Going to take a break from the organization and try to figure out some things.”

“Like what?”

“Like I don’t know if I want to go back or if I want to work in a hospital or maybe in a private practice setting.”

“Oh, well…It’s a good thing you’re taking some time off then to consider your options.”

Aiden grins at me and then pops a cherry tomato into his mouth. After he chews and swallows he says, “Actually, I just signed a three-month contract to work here at Raleigh Memorial. Thought I’d see what it was like to actually practice medicine with good equipment and the most current technology. Kevin’s going to let me crash at his place.”

“Awesome,” I say cheerily, but every fiber of my body is rebelling against this notion. I mean, why come back here? He could have gone up north near his family. And why this hospital? Why reconnect with me?

“So, how have you been, Josie Bug?” he says with rapt attention as he puts his fork down. I control the outward cringe over his use of a nickname he’d given me early in our relationship and that I once adored. It sounds so very wrong now. “How’s practicing here at Raleigh Memorial?”

I put on the brightest smile I can manage, calling upon my true love of what I do to shine through. “I love it here. The work is interesting and fulfilling. The people here are great. I’m going to be content here for a long time, I think.”

“That’s awesome,” Aiden exclaims. “I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy.”

Yeah, Aiden? Then why the hell did you leave me?

“Well, I am,” I say with confidence. “Very happy.”

And I realize…I am. All of these feelings of bitterness that he’s been causing to rise up within me have only to do with past hurt, and have nothing to do with my present. Which includes one mighty fine hockey player who I have the hots for and who has them right back for me.

Aiden fiddles around with his salad, takes a few bites, and I make busy on my sandwich, checking the time periodically.

“So, Josie,” Aiden says, and it’s a prelude to a question that he’s nervous about. I can just tell. “Do you, um…think maybe…I could take you out for dinner one night?”

After placing my sandwich on my plate, I wipe my mouth and toss my napkin down. “Thank you for the offer, Aiden, but I can’t. I’m involved with someone.”

“Reed,” he says knowingly, and that’s not a huge leap to make. Most would.

“Yes,” I say with a fond smile. “It’s new and it’s casual, but it’s also exclusive.”

“How casual?” Aiden asks.

I give him a chiding look. “Forget about the casual. Focus on when I told you it’s exclusive.”

“So pretty damn new and casual,” he says with confidently. “Based on what you just said.”

“But exclusive,” I remind him for the third time.

Aiden chuckles and holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay, how about this? We’re friends. So maybe we can have the occasional lunch here in the cafeteria, or we can all go out for beers after shift the way we did in the old days.”

I analyze every inflection and nuance in that statement, and it sounds casual and sincere. I can’t detect a single ulterior motive, and his eyes look at me with clear honesty. One thing about Aiden, he never played games.

“We’ve got a history, Josie. I know it didn’t end well, but I know we can be friends again,” he says.

I peer at him just a bit harder, and still I see only genuineness in his expression. Aiden was never a good liar, almost honest to a fault sometimes.

“Okay,” I finally say with a small smile. “Sure…why can’t we be friends?”

“No reason that I can see,” he says with a chuckle, then spears a cucumber with his fork and playfully waves it at me. “But if you ever get rid of Reed, I’m back in the running.”

He’s joking and his tone is light enough, but still I’m curious. “Back in the running for what?”

“Why, for you, Josie,” Aiden says, his smile fading and his eyes somber with sincerity. “You might be my one big regret in life…leaving you, that is.”

“But you don’t even know if you’re going to stay here,” I blurt out, and now even more curious as to why he’s saying these things. I much preferred him just wanting to do a casual dinner, but now he’s talking about regrets over our lost relationship?

“I’m seriously considering it, Josie. I want to give it some time and let me practice in this type of setting for a while. Maybe it’s time for me to settle down in one place and be a regular doctor.”

That rankles me. Calling what I do just “regular.” Sure, I haven’t had to deal with epidemic outbreaks or bullets whizzing by my ears while I attend a patient, but I hardly think that my everyday work is just regular.

But I let it go, because Aiden’s opinion of me or what I do doesn’t matter. And it’s more than enough for me that Reed thinks what I do is cool. He certainly tells me that over and over again, filling me with a continual pride in my work knowing that he’s impressed by it.

“Is Reed really your neighbor?” Aiden asks lightly.

The chuckle starts up before I can control it, remembering the very unconventional way Reed and I first met. But that’s not a story I’d ever share with Aiden. “He is. Just next door, as a matter of fact.”

“What does he do for a living?” Again, I analyze his words, his inflection, and his facial expression. All seem to be just curious in a friendly way.

For the very first time, it flows through me in warm waves. I get to be proud and impressed with what Reed does. He’s always telling me how much he admires what I do, and because I really don’t have any close friends around and there’s no time for girl talk while at work, I never get to brag about him.

So I do. “He’s a professional hockey player for the Carolina Cold Fury.”

I wait for Aiden’s eyes to go big and perhaps fill with a tinge of jealousy, but I just get a pleasant smile back from him. “That’s nice. So he makes good money then?”

I blink a few times in disbelief before they zero in on Aiden. “They’ve won back-to-back Stanley Cups.”

Aiden just stares at me blankly for a moment, then he lifts his chin in realization. “Sorry. The last few years I haven’t been able to watch TV or sports. But you know I was never into that stuff anyway.”

This is true. Regardless if he was in Haiti, Yemen, or the good old USA, he probably wouldn’t have even known the Cold Fury had won two championships.

“Then why did you ask about what he makes?” I ask him.

“Just don’t want you to be taken advantage of, Josie Bug,” he explains smoothly. “You’re a doctor. You make pretty good bank.”

“Well, he makes millions, so I think I’m safe on that part,” I mutter. Although I have no clue what Reed makes, as I know enough about hockey to get by, but that would not include knowledge of salaries. Regardless, it’s not important to me, because Reed isn’t after my money.

Still not sure what he’s after, though, since I don’t fall within his normal criteria, but I’m going to roll with it for now.