17.
Becca
It’s the best sleep I’ve had in as long as I can remember. It’s so deep that when I awake the following morning, it takes several minutes before I can distinguish dream from reality. I open my eyes slowly, blinking several times in the soft light spilling into the villa. A light breeze is rustling the curtain over the open backdoor, the movements of its folds sounding just like a murmuring crowd during the intermission of some play.
I roll over, groaning as my body relives last night. Had that really happened? Had we really…?
Yes, we had. I know because Rich is still fast asleep beside me, his lips parted, his handsome face serene in the morning light. Behind him on the bedside table the red face of the alarm clock reads just after seven a.m. Only five hours I’d been asleep, though with this delicious feeling flowing through my veins, I doubted I’d be going back to bed anytime soon.
I lie there for a while and just watch Rick sleep, observing how his large chest expands with each breath, how his eyelids twitch as he dreams. Of what was he dreaming? Of me? Of our night together? The world is quiet save for the muffled crash of waves down on the beach.
Several minutes pass, though it feels like time itself has frozen, as if it no longer exists here in the first hours of this new day. I’m not even sure what day of the week it is, much less the date. Was time even a thing here? Or was there only the present, just one beautiful moment stacked upon another?
Sighing and folding my hands behind my head, I curl and uncurl my toes several times. My side is pressed to Rich’s, his skin hot to the touch. The man was an absolute furnace. A lot of energy it took to keep a big body like his going. Letting out a grunt, Rich shifts and settles deeper into the sheets.
Inside, I’m a maelstrom of emotion and thought. I didn’t regret our night, not in the slightest, but I was definitely feeling something. I chase the thread of this something, working to discern what it could possibly be. But no matter how I try, I can’t decipher what my heart is telling me. There was happiness, and desire, and excitement, but there was also a sort of sadness coupled with a deep longing, though for what, or for whom, it’s impossible to know.
I push myself up from the bed, taking care to move as slowly as I can so as to not rouse Rich. I’m not going to be able to think clearly here, not with this beautiful man beside me. From my suitcase, I extract a fresh bikini and a sarong. On the wall opposite the bed is a full-length mirror. Before pulling on my clothes, I take a moment to examine myself, turning from side to side. I can still feel the ghost of Rich’s hands upon my body. The thought of them makes me shiver. Though the night was a little hazy from the wine, it didn’t feel like a stretch to say that he might just have been the best lover I had ever had.
Two minutes later, dressed and sandals donned, I slip out the back door and make my way down to the beach. A few people are bent over at the water’s edge, sifting through the shells that have washed up during the night’s high tide. Other than they, the beach is empty. Turning towards the direction of the cove, I set off. Even though it’s just past dawn, the day is already bright, the sky utterly cloudless. Yet another perfect day in paradise.
It’s very peaceful walking all by my lonesome. Soon I’m out of sight of the resort and the people collecting shells. It’s just me now, me and this big, beautiful, wide-open world, me and the distant green mountains, me and the blue, blue ocean, me and the seagulls wheeling overhead and the sun just peeking over the horizon and this brilliant white sand cool between my toes. After a while, having grown tired of walking, I take a seat near the water, my knees pulled up to my chest, my hands clasped around my knees. My stomach is begging for food but I’m not yet ready for breakfast. So enamored I’ve been with this beauty all around me that I’ve yet to actually do what I came out here to do—to think through everything, to figure out just what it is I’m feeling.
I begin with the events of the night before, a blush creeping up my neck as I relive Rich kissing me in the moonlight. How good his body had felt against mine! And then his hands running all over me, tracing their way tenderly down my curves, caressing me in all of my most secret, sensitive spots, spots that hadn’t been touched in far too long. When was the last time I’d made love? More importantly, when was the last time I’d made love like that?
I run through it again, this time doing my best to do so more objectively. Had we used protection? Yes. I remembered very clearly Rich wearing a condom, though where it had come from I had no earthly idea. He must have had it with him. Or had we run by his place? Well, whatever. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that we had been safe. Even though I was on the pill, it was much better to be safe rather than sorry. There was no worse way to end a night of passion than with an unexpected pregnancy.
Shifting in the sand, I notice for the first time how sore I feel down there. Not surprising considering it had been so long since I’d done that. What’s more, I’m a little wet too. I don’t even have to check to know. Sitting here and thinking about our night together was making me want to run right back to my villa and jump on him. Now that the floodgates had been opened, they couldn’t be closed again, not after realizing just how much I’d been missing.
You need to be careful, Becca. What exactly do you think you’re doing? Is this a good idea? Are you really ready to have a new lover, especially given how the last one broke your heart? Are you sure you’re not just running from your feelings?
It sure didn’t feel that way. If anything, it felt distinctly different from anything I had ever had with Rob. It felt like a wholly new and separate and wonderful thing completely unrelated to my old life. It was a new chapter, the first chapter in what just might turn out to be the most important story of my life.
Whoa. Getting a bit ahead of yourself, aren’t we? So you made love one time. So what? It doesn’t mean that you’re going to get married, or even that you’re a good match for each other. Besides, I know you know that there’s something more to him, something that he’s running from too, something that he hasn’t yet told you. You can feel it. Shouldn’t you find out what that is before you rush into things?
My good sense was telling me to slow down, to not read so much into one night of lovemaking. After all, that was what adults did, wasn’t it? They met, they flirted, and then they slept together. It had nothing to do with love, at least not at first. No, best to take everything one step at a time. Let the unknown road stretching before me lead me where it may. Besides, forcing things was a surefire way to ensure unhappiness.
Still, I couldn’t help but be giddy with excitement at the thought of us, at the thought of what all of this could mean. Like a high school girl, I wanted to run back and call my best friend and tell her all about my new handsome lover with his rippling six-pack and his kind smile. No doubt Sophia would be only too happy for me. It wasn’t like she had ever been particularly coy about her belief that Rob and I weren’t meant for each other. More than once she had told me I needed to find someone I could be passionate about, not someone I could merely coexist with. Well, if only she could see me now!
Without realizing it, I’ve risen to my feet and am headed back towards the resort. Walking along, a new thought begins to creep into my head, a thought that stifles my exuberance. What if he’s not there when I get back? After all, this was Hawaii. If you were single when you came here, it was likely you were here to hook up, not to fall in love. Now that Rich had gotten what he wanted, would he still be interested?
Did I really believe he would do that, though? That didn’t seem like him at all. Granted, I didn’t know the man so very well, but it just didn’t seem like something he would do. No, I was letting myself worry for nothing, just indulging my natural tendency to get into my head, to take a good thing and do whatever I could to make myself believe that it was bad.
My stomach is demanding attention now. I pick up the pace, the resort soon appearing on the horizon. Even so, it’s another twenty minutes before I make it back to my villa.
I go in the same way I left, calling his name as I pull the backdoor curtain aside. My villa is empty. My first thought is that I had been right—all he had wanted was my body and now that he had had it, he was no longer interested. But then I spot the note on my pillow. Went to breakfast. If you want to join, you know where to find me.
My heart thumping in my chest, I skip down to the dining garden. Entering, I spot him immediately. He’s at our table, the waiter who had set us up with Pace standing next to him, the two chatting, their faces serious.
Rich sees me the moment I enter the garden, his eyes lighting up with pleasure. The waiter, in the middle of saying something, breaks off and glances at me over his shoulder. The two of them look at me until I reach the table. As I drop into my seat, the waiter claps Rich on the shoulder. Filling my mug with steaming coffee, he bows slightly and wanders away.
“Good morning,” I say, reaching across the table for Rich’s hand. “How are you?”
“Great,” he replies. Though he’s smiling, his voice is distant, almost as if he’s thinking of something else. What had he and the waiter been talking about? “You? How’d you sleep?”
“Fantastically,” I say. I was probably just imagining things. What was there to be serious about? Letting go of Rich’s hand, I grab my coffee and take a sip. “I haven’t slept so well in a very long while.”
“Hmm, I wonder why…” With a grin, he spears a piece of fruit from his plate and pops it into his mouth. If he had been thinking of something else, he is no longer, his eyes as bright as ever.
“Oh, I know why,” I tease. “It’s the same reason you were passed out snoring this morning.”
“I can’t deny that last nights was one of the best sleeps of my life.”
We fall silent, both of us smiling so wide it’s a wonder our teeth don’t fall out of our heads. Finally, my stomach growling, I take another sip of coffee and push myself up from my seat.
“Be right back. Starving.”
“Grab me some more papaya if you could.”
I return to the table two minutes later with a plate full of food. Passing some papaya over to Rich, I begin to tell him about my walk down the beach, how lovely the morning was and how it felt like I was the only person awake in all the world. He listens quietly, his eyes locked onto mine. I can see clearly that we’re both still thinking about our night together, though neither one of us mentions it again.
We spend quite some time in the garden, the seconds dripping into minutes, the minutes swelling into hours. Even so, it feels like no time at all passes. As ever, our conversation is light and easy. We’re both just so happy to be together that there’s no shortage of something to say, something to share.
Several times throughout breakfast, however, we fall silent, the need for words no longer necessary as we just sit and smile at one another. Each time this happens, I let myself really take in the man seated across from me. How much did I actually know about him? Next to nothing, it seemed. What did he do for work? Did he have a family? Kids? Was he divorced? What were his hobbies? Were his mother and father still alive?
I want to know it all and yet just can’t muster the energy to ask. Right now, it didn’t matter. There would be time enough for all of that later. At the moment, all I wanted was to stay right here in this blissful little cocoon of ours for as long as I could. I had no doubt real life would intrude soon enough. If I had learned one thing in my twenty-eight years on this planet, it was that it always did.
“Whew,” I say when I’ve taken my last bite of food. Rich has just finished telling me a story about a grizzly bear he once ran into in Yellowstone. A harrowing tale that has set my pulse to racing. Pushing my plate away, I sit back in my chair, stretch out my legs and fold my hands over my stomach. “Nothing like a big, long breakfast to start the day.”
“Agreed,” Rich says, sipping at the piña colada he had ordered a few minutes before. “I’ve never understood people who go on vacation and just have to do things, the kind who fill every minute of every day with activities. It’s like relaxation is just another to-do to check off of their lists. Don’t they do enough things at home? Don’t get me wrong; I love going out to the reef like we did yesterday, but one can’t do that every day. Sometimes one just needs to lie around and do nothing, you know?”
“Or have a three-hour breakfast.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m with you all the way. After yesterday’s excursion, I’m more than ready to just kick back and relax.”
“Me too.”
“So then…” I begin. Rising from the table, I hold out a hand for Rich. He takes it and I do my best to help him to his feet. “Shall we?”
I lead Rich across the garden, weaving my way through the tables and over to the path to our villas. We’ve been at breakfast for so long that almost every other guest has come and gone.
Just out of sight of the dining garden, I stop and turn to Rich. Though we haven’t explicitly said it, I have a feeling we’re both thinking the same thing.
“So,” I say, grinning up at him. “What should we do?”
“Hmm,” he begins. “I don’t kn—“
Before he can finish, I lunge forward, my lips finding his.
“Sorry,” I say, breaking away with a laugh. “I’ve been wanting to do that since I found you at breakfast.”
“Understandable. I’ve been dream—“
Again I cut him off as I reach up, entwine my fingers in his hair and pull his face down to mine. This time, our lips part, our tongues meeting as Rich closes his arms around me and lifts me from the ground.
Shivering, I pull away and kiss my way over to his ear. My body is craving his like it’s never craved anything before. “My place?” I whisper as I nibble on his ear lobe.
“Let’s,” he murmurs, dropping me back down to the ground, his voice thick with desire.
Without another word, we set off down the pathway. We’re soon back at my villa. I’m trembling so much from my excitement that I can barely get the keycard into its slot. As soon as I get the door open, Rich scoops me up into his arms and carries me straight to the bed, the two of us falling into the sheets.
This time is nothing like before. Where last night was rough and passionate, today is slow and sensual. There’s no reason to rush anymore. Now it was time to explore. As the birds chirp merrily outside and the waves crash rhythmically onto the beach, we strip down slowly, Rich stopping me every step of the way to run his hands over my body, to press his lips to my every curve.
The love we make today is unlike any I’ve ever experienced. Never have I felt so cherished before. It’s like being touched for the very first time. Several times throughout, Rich breaks away just to look at me, his eyes simmering with clear, vibrant joy. Not a word passes between us the entire time. Not a word has to.
By the time we’re finished, we’re both left gasping, our bodies laced together, our hearts beating as one. For a long time, silence reigns over us, Rich’s fingers gently caressing me as I lay with my head on his chest, my feet entwined with his.
We end up spending the rest of the day in bed, sometimes napping, sometimes saying nothing, sometimes whispering to each other as a cool breeze blows in through the open balcony door. Sometime in the late afternoon, the light of the day fast slipping away, Rich orders room service, a bottle of champagne unexpectedly arriving with our meal of fresh fruit and pork sandwiches. Compliments, he tells me, reading from a card that has come with the meal, of his newfound waiter friend.
When night comes in full, the two of us still lying in each other’s arms, the bottle of champagne near empty and only the crusts of our sandwiches remaining, Rich pushes himself up from the bed.
“Dinner?” he asks, looking down at me as he stretches his arms above his hands, his fingers scraping the ceiling.
“Dinner,” I say, sliding out from beneath the sheets. “Though let’s eat quickly. There’s something I need to show you.”
“Oh yeah?” he says, pulling me to my feet and hugging me to him.
“Mmm-hmm,” I say, my fingers digging into the muscles of his back. “And it’s very important that I show you in bed.”
“Well then. We better hurry.”
“Too bad we have to put on clothes though. I was really starting to enjoy this whole naked thing.”
“Agreed,” Rich says, grinning as he lifts my chin with a finger and leans down to kiss me. “It’s a shame. A real shame. One should never have to cover up such a beautiful work of art.”