Nine

Roc

After the disastrous dinner that wasn’t at Abby’s house, the woman had made herself even scarcer than she had after our encounter in her office. Oh, and my brothers had decided to stick around Puerto Rico for a while. Mostly to piss me off, I’m sure.

Even now, they’d taken over my suite as their own, interrogating me and interrupting my work. “In case you assholes have forgotten, I just bought this place and I need to turn it around which means I need to work.”

Both Ethan and Jax just fuckin’ ignored me, because what in the hell were little brothers for if not for making my life miserable? “So what are you going to do about this Roc? She can’t keep you from seeing your kid.” Jax always spoke with certainty, maybe it was his years in the NFL or the big money deals he now made as one of the most powerful sports agents in the industry.

I sighed at him and rolled my eyes. “This isn’t the football field or your company Jax, you’re not in charge here.” I sank back into my seat and glared, though it was nice when someone had your back. “Besides she’s not keeping Lily from me, I’ve seen her every night since you assholes crashed dinner.”

Ethan frowned, squared his shoulders defensively before he spoke. “But Noah said—”

“Fuck, Noah!” I threw up my hands because I understood that my brothers were concerned but dammit they’d screwed up my first meeting with my kid. “Did either one of you think how it felt for Lily to have three strange men show up and start badmouthing her mother?”

“No,” they both answered sheepishly.

“Of course not, because what the hell do either of you know about kids? Now she wants to know why her uncas hate her mother.” And how in the hell was I supposed to explain that to her? Especially when Abby made sure to be gone when I showed up.

They both groaned as I expected and Jax rubbed a hand over his face. “Shit, Roc, sorry.”

“I guess Abby’s pretty pissed off at all of us then?”

“I wouldn’t know, haven’t seen her.” I aimed for nonchalance but they knew me too well.

“How is that possible when she works for you and you share a kid?”

I understood Noah’s incredulity but she obviously needed space and for now I had no problems giving it to her. “Lily and I had a picnic yesterday on the beach,” I used my daughter as a distraction and I felt no guilt because it worked.

“So how does this work if you two aren’t speaking?” Ethan’s raven brows dipped in confusion.

“For now, Aunt Mel is there when I show up and when I leave.” I hated that Abby and I hadn’t had a moment alone to hash things out but I had no idea how I could make any of this better.

Jax stood and began to pace. “And she still hasn’t asked for anything?”

“No, Jax.”

“And what about the whole thing about you being married?”

With all the patience I could find within me, I explained everything to my brothers about the party and Eve’s appearance. “She left because I broke her heart, and she didn’t tell me about Lily because she didn’t want to wreck my marriage.” I still couldn’t believe that she’d loved me that much. It boggled the mind.

Ethan whistled and shook his head. “Wow, man. She was in love with you, had your baby, and we fucked it all up. Sorry.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry, I fucked it up before you even landed the jet.” At their confused looks, I quickly explained about making love with her days before dinner, and then my appalling behavior afterward.

“Well, at least she’s not in love with you anymore,” Jax answered sarcastically.

“Just leave her alone, Roc. Enjoy Lily but just let Abby be.”

That had been my plan too, but now I knew that couldn’t happen. I still wanted her. Needed her. “I can’t.” At Jax’s exasperated look and Ethan’s mutinous one, I scrambled for an explanation that held more truth than lie. “Abby and I are inextricably linked and I don’t want there to be this tension between us forever.”

“Bullshit,” Ethan, the peacemaker among us, spat out with hell brimming in his eyes. “You want her,” he said it more as a revelation than a question. “No, you more than want her.” The know it all grinned knowingly. “Holy shit.”

Sometimes having brothers who were more like best friends wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I all but whined at my baby brother.

Ethan and Jax did the only thing they could under the circumstances, they laughed their asses off while I sat and glared at them. Bastards.

***

Abby

The sea always had a calming effect on me and since I needed that calm today as much as my morning espresso, I decided to go surfing. I hadn’t surfed much since coming to Puerto Rico because it had always reminded me too much of Roc, who’d taught me how to handle a board on the waves. But now with my body so full of tension and the man already invading every facet of my life, I couldn’t justify avoiding it any longer.

The sun had barely risen when I donned my one-piece bathing suit and lugged my board into the water, loving the feel of the warm sea spray hitting my skin. This strip of beach barely held anyone, including surfers who preferred the more popular beach a few miles away, and I savored the silence. The aloneness.

I should be happy right now. Lily had the father she always wanted and he wanted to be part of her life. We lived in paradise and our only family lived less than a mile away. But my happiness was fleeting because I knew our time in paradise had an expiration date. Once again, I’d have to uproot our lives and start over. This time, however, I couldn’t ask Aunt Melanie to go with us. She’d made a life for herself here and I could handle single motherhood on my own.

Even if I didn’t want to.

“You are awfully deep in thought when the waves are so righteous this morning.”

I froze at the sound of Roc’s deep voice. What the hell was he doing out here anyway, other than ruining my peaceful morning. “Why are you here?” Showing up at this beach at this time of morning couldn’t possibly be coincidence.

“Same as you I imagine. To surf.” I could hear the smile in his voice but I refused to take the bait, refused to give in to him.

“Wrong. I came here to surf alone.” And once again the little bit of peace I had managed to find was ripped away.

By the same man who’d ripped it away before. Roc.

“You can’t ignore me forever,” he said seriously and I knew that was true.

But I didn’t have to like it. “Maybe not, but I can try.” I couldn’t hide the petulance in my voice that made me sound like a bratty kid, but the days of letting Roc continue to hurt me were over.

I heard the sigh behind me, much closer behind me than his words had been, and I braced myself for the impact of whatever he had to say. “Dammit, Abby, I’m sorry. However many times you want me to apologize, I will. You have to know that I had no idea my brothers would show up—”

I had enough, cutting off his words with my own. “I don’t care. I don’t want to hear your explanations or your apologies so just save your breath.” Nothing he said would change anything, not the past and certainly not my own feelings.

“So that’s it?” His words were labored from paddling closer to me but anger laced every syllable. “You’re just done with me now? Again?”

Still facing the oncoming waves. I called upon every deity I’d ever heard of in search of patience. Lily would never forgive me for drowning her father. “That’s it? What more could you possibly want? You’re in Lily’s life and she adores you, plus you’ve already done your best to humiliate me for keeping her from you. Do you need me to bleed too?” It had taken me some time but I finally realized while I had been succumbing to the passion that always sparked between us that day in my office, Roc was on a path of revenge.

“I never wanted to humiliate you,” he told me, his voice strained with emotion. I refused to acknowledge it. Emotion? Hell, I had emotion.

I laughed bitterly. “I guess it was just a happy accident then. Either way you win. Be happy with knowing that.” To get some distance from him, I pushed further out, closer to the oncoming waves until I spotted the perfect one to carry me away.

“Abby, wait!”

I didn’t listen, wouldn’t turn around because I couldn’t. I refused to be the same lovesick girl I was four years ago, giving up everything for just a moment of his attention. The pull may still be there and I might even still want him, but I did not have to act on it.

“Abby!”

Then I jumped up, feet flat on the board as I hit the wave, gliding over the water with my core tight to help navigate the unpredictable path of the wave. From the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Roc heading my way but I couldn’t focus on that while I tamed the wave. Wearing a rare smile, I zipped through and hunched under the shrinking wave until there was nothing left to do but sink into the water.

I relished the sensation of being pulled by the undertow knowing the shore was close enough for safety. Apparently, I’d been under too long because I resurfaced at the exact moment a surfboard headed my way and cracked me on the head. With one hand to my head I went under again and swam out a few feet, ignoring the throbbing ache in my head. “Son of a bitch!”

“Abby, I’m sorry.”

I stood as soon as I felt solid ground under my feet, pulling my hand away to check the damage I groaned at the blood on my fingertips. Looking at the apologetic blue eyes of the culprit I groaned. “Of course you are. Why the hell did you follow so close behind me?”

“We need to talk,” he insisted in his firm I am the master of my universe so you all must obey me voice.

“So you said fuck safety precautions because of course Roc Mahoney must get what he wants, when he wants it. Right?” Instead of waiting for an answer, I turned from him and made my way to my towel to stem the flow of blood down my face. “Thanks for proving yet again just how little I matter to you.”

“Dammit let me help you.” He grabbed my arm, his face going pale when he caught sight of my head. “I’ll get you to a doctor.”

“I don’t need or want your help. Thanks,” I spat out, the same way he had, before walking away. I felt dizzy but I knew I could make it home without a problem. Without his help.

“Abby,” he called after me, anguish and regret in his voice. But the problem with falling in love with a man like Roc Mahoney was that I knew him better than he knew himself. His regret had more to do with the fact that his plan hadn’t worked out than anything else.

***

Roc

Goddammit, nothing had gone the way I planned it and things only seemed worse after that incident on the beach. Of course I never meant to actually run into her with my surfboard, only to get close enough that she wouldn’t be able to run away again. That backfired spectacularly because not only had she walked away from me, she’d ended up with stitches and a day off with a possible concussion.

All of which I found out from her assistant because—big surprise—she was ignoring me. Again.

I’d sent her a huge bouquet of flowers knowing they wouldn’t do much to pacify her anger but I wanted—no I needed—her to remember the good times we had in St. Lucia. I needed to remind her I wasn’t the ogre she seemed to think. So I’d called up every florist within driving distance and had them deliver flowers by the dozen in her favorite colors. I wasn’t shocked at all when I found them all around the resort, or when I spotted two large bouquets in Lily’s room. I couldn’t help but smile thinking of the way my daughter had thrown herself into my arm, so thankful for the “Pretty fwowers.”

Too bad Abby hadn’t been equally impressed. She still hadn’t reached out to me and when I saw her at work she gave me her chilly businesswoman persona. With a long, frustrated sigh, I knocked on her office door and prepared myself for the same blank stare I’d gotten since we made love. I knocked and waited.

“Come in.”

Her forehead still held stitches and I winced at the way it marred her beautiful sun-kissed skin. And in true Abby fashion she wore her hair pulled back into a stylish bun, refusing to hide the scar. “Abby,” I began but she quickly cut me off.

“I have three candidates scheduled today for the wedding planner position. They are scheduled in order of experience and preference, the first one will arrive in ten minutes.”

So she wanted to keep it strictly professional. I could do that, for now. “Do you have…thanks,” I told her when she handed over the information packets before I could ask for them.

“No problem. I figured we could conduct the interviews in the wedding suite to see what they plan to do with the space.” She stood before I could respond, giving me a wide berth as she made her way to the door.

“After you,” I told her and we walked to the suite in a tense silence that only made the quiet seem loud as hell. “How’s your head?”

“Fine.”

“Any dizziness?”

“Nope.”

Okay so she didn’t feel like talking. She could listen. “You know, Abby, you want me to believe you had all these feelings for me back in St. Lucia but the truth is you didn’t trust me.”

“I don’t care what you believe, Roc. I’ve never had any sway over your thoughts and I have no delusions about that.” Her tone came across icy and she couldn’t even look at me.

“But you were the one to run without even letting me explain.”

She scoffed. “Because men always tell their mistresses the truth?”

I hated that fucking word. “You were not my mistress.”

“Whatever you want to call it, Roc. I obviously read the situation wrong. You had no long terms plans with me so if it hadn’t been your fiancée it would have been something else.”

“She wasn’t my damn fiancée! If you’d stuck around for five minutes you would have known that.”

Abby straightened her spine and took a calming breath before she glanced up at me. “I did us both a favor whether you want to admit it or not. I was in love with you and you were just having fun. I would have left eventually.”

I couldn’t argue that point because I hadn’t been looking for long term or serious. After Eve, I had no plans for a relationship or a family beyond my brothers and uncle. “Don’t tell me what I wanted.” My voice was lethally quiet but Abby seemed unfazed.

“Well, since I didn’t see or hear from you until recently, I’d say I did exactly what you wanted. Or are you upset that I left before you could kick me out?”

That cynical tone, that cynical thought wasn’t Abby. She was kind and a little naïve, but she always tried to see the best in people. And I killed it. In that moment, I hated myself for making Abby feel unimportant, for coming back into her life and turning it upside down. But I would never feel sorry for having Lily in my life, that little girl was perfect. But Abby got another thing right—I hadn’t gone after her. I thought about it, had even fueled up the jet to go in search of her but in the end, I thought she— like most women—wouldn’t be worth the effort.

In hindsight, I could see how wrong my thinking had been.

“Can we get ready for these interviews now?”

With a disappointed shrug, I nodded and took the seat beside her, spending the rest of the afternoon battling her anger and her sweet, enticing scent determined to make me lose my carefully won control.

By the end of the afternoon the Azurel Resort had a wedding planner with an assistant, a wedding suite and I had the most painful hard on of my life.