Chapter Five
“Katie, would you stop pacing the kitchen?” Avery said, her tone exasperated. “I assure you, for the tenth time, you did the right thing.”
Katie groaned in doubt, though she didn’t stop her restless back-and-forth walk from the refrigerator to the sink, again and again. Since meeting with Connor for lunch a few days ago, a mountain of doubts had plagued her consistently and obsessively. Despite him trying to assure her that he wasn’t a bad guy—which she knew was true after spending the night with him in Denver—she really had no idea what his intentions were as far as Val were concerned. And that uncertainty was a constant source of her anxiety.
Her horrible childhood and being in a tug-of-war between her mother and father on a consistent basis kept playing over and over in her mind. “What if he wants custody of Val?” she asked, keeping her voice low so her daughter, who was in the other room putting on her sandals, wouldn’t hear.
Avery leaned her backside against the kitchen counter and raised a brow. “Connor is her father. Isn’t that his right? He’ll never get sole custody because you are an amazing mom, but any good dad would want part-time visitation rights of his kid.”
Katie’s stomach lurched, and she pressed a firm hand to her abdomen. “Do you think it’s too late to move to another country with Val?” she asked, half-joking.
Avery caught Katie’s shoulders as she passed by again, forcing her to stop and look her in the eyes. “You would never do that, and you know it. The fact that you told Connor about Val when you could have kept her a secret tells me what a decent, honorable person you are.”
“What if that was a mistake?” she asked, praying that wasn’t the case.
“I don’t think it was, and deep in your heart, you don’t believe that, either. Give him a chance, Katie,” Avery said, squeezing her arms reassuringly. “Until he does something to legitimately freak you out, give Connor this chance to get to know his daughter without thinking the worst or subconsciously sabotaging the relationship.”
Katie drew a calming breath—actually, two of them for good measure. “Okay. You’re right.”
Avery grinned. “Of course I am.”
“I’m weady for the park, Mommy!” Val announced as she came into the kitchen. She looked at Avery and frowned. “Why can’t Leah go, too?”
“Because she’s at home with her daddy today,” Avery explained, since it was Sunday, which was her husband’s day off to spend time with his wife and daughter.
Katie ran her fingers through Val’s soft, fine hair in the back, which she’d left down for the day. Her daughter had insisted on wearing a green-striped headband with a bow, which didn’t even come close to matching her pink polka-dot romper, but Katie was trying to raise an independent child, so as a mom she chose her battles wisely. Mismatched clothing and accessories were not the end of the world for a three-year-old.
“I’m taking you to the park to meet a friend of mine,” Katie said, wanting to prep Val before they got there so her first face-to-face with Connor wouldn’t be a complete surprise.
“Oh.” Val’s blue eyes brightened. “Is she my age?”
Katie held back a laugh. “No, my friend is a boy, and he’s my age.”
Val wrinkled her cute little nose in disappointment. “That doesn’t sound like fun. Who is going to play with me on the jungle gym?”
Oh, the concerns of a toddler, Katie thought in amusement. “We’ll figure that out when we get there, okay?”
“Okay. Let’s go!” Val ran back into the front room.
Katie grabbed her daughter’s My Little Pony backpack she’d filled with a snack and juice box for Val, along with handy wipes and sunscreen in case she needed to apply a second coat. Avery followed them to the door, then outside, and once they were on the sidewalk, they parted ways, with Katie and Val heading in the opposite direction to the park. Val insisted on wearing the backpack, which made her feel like a “big girl.”
As they neared the small private park that was surrounded by a gate so only those in the community with a key card could use the facility, Katie saw a big white utility truck parked by the curb, which she knew was Connor’s since she’d seen him get into the vehicle after their lunch the other day. He wasn’t sitting behind the wheel, and after a quick glance around the perimeter of the area, she found him standing beneath a shady tree.
And God, he looked good. He was wearing a plain gray T-shirt and jeans, and though his attire was casual, his body still looked spectacular. His arms were big and strong, his shoulders wide, and even through his shirt there was no mistaking that everything about him was lean and trim. While he looked composed and collected, the closer she and Val got to him, the more she could detect subtle nuances of the nerves he was trying hard to keep concealed.
His thick dark hair, the same shade as Val’s, was tousled around his head, as though he’d plowed his fingers through the strands several times while waiting for them to arrive. His hands were tucked into the front pockets of his jeans, and every few seconds, he’d shift from foot to foot. But it was the deep breaths she could see expanding his chest that told her he was struggling to keep calm in the wake of seeing his child for the first time.
“This way, sweetie,” Katie said when her daughter started toward the gate leading to the park. “My friend is right over there.”
Val followed close beside her, suddenly very shy, as she normally was around strangers, and especially men. As they neared Connor, he lifted a hand to acknowledge them, but he didn’t start toward her or meet them halfway. Instead, he waited for Katie and Val to come to him, which she appreciated so he didn’t startle or scare the little girl.
When they finally reached him, Val was clinging to Katie’s leg and staring way up at Connor with huge, uncertain eyes. Connor swallowed hard as he lifted his own gorgeous blue gaze from Val to Katie. He smiled, but his expression was etched with awe that said, Holy shit, that’s my daughter.
“Hi,” he said, his voice a little rough around the edges with emotion.
“Hi,” she replied softly in return before she gently touched her hand to the top of Val’s head, who still hugged Katie’s leg tightly. “Sweetheart, this is my friend, Connor,” she said in an encouraging tone, knowing it sometimes took a bit for her to warm up to newcomers. “Can you say hello to him?”
“No.” Val shook her head stubbornly, a fierce frown pulling at her tiny brows. “I don’t wanna.”
Katie sent Connor an apologetic look, but before she could say anything else to prompt her daughter to be nice, Connor crouched down to Val’s level so the little girl no longer had to crane her neck to look up at him. She still remained timid, but the grip on Katie’s leg eased up slightly as Val eyed Connor more curiously now.
“You look very pretty today, Val,” he said, his tone light and his smile friendly and approachable. “And you know what? Polka dots are my favorite, too. And that green bow in your hair is quite the fashion statement.”
Katie had to swallow back a laugh at how sincere Connor sounded about her outfit, but his engaging comment worked like a charm with Val. Her daughter’s blue eyes lit up at the compliment, and she let go of Katie’s leg to touch her fingers to the material of her romper.
“I picked it all by myself!” she said proudly.
Connor looked unduly impressed. “You did a great job.” His gentle smile still in place, he slowly reached out and lightly grasped her little hand in his much bigger one, the contrast of his long, strong fingers against her tiny ones pulling at Katie’s heartstrings.
Surprisingly, Val didn’t pull away. Instead, they stared at one another, as if silently communicating, and the moment seemed to stand still for Katie as she watched the two of them get acquainted in their own quiet way. The situation could have gone badly, with her daughter yanking her hand back and deciding she didn’t like Connor at all, which would have been awkward and uncomfortable. But there was a patience to him that made Katie’s throat grow tight and clearly put Val at ease. He didn’t force or push the little girl to accept him . . . Instead he tried to let Val make her own decision about whether or not she was ready to let her guard down around him.
Her little girl had great instincts, because slowly, gradually, she gave him a bashful but approving smile.
Connor released her hand, as if knowing he’d been lucky to touch her for as long as he had without Val severing contact. “So, what do you say we go into the park so you can play and show me what a good climber you are?”
“I’m a weally good climber,” she told him, jumping up and down in excitement. “I climb all the stairs without Mommy’s help now!”
“Wow, you’re a big girl,” he said, straightening to his full height again, though now Val didn’t seem intimidated by how tall and big he was.
Val hooked her little thumbs into the straps of her backpack as they strolled toward the gate to the park. “That’s what my mommy says, too. That I’m a big girl.”
Katie smiled. “And what else do I say?”
“To hold on to the wail when I climb the stairs so I don’t twip,” she said, bobbing her head to each word she spoke.
The corner of Connor’s mouth twitched with a smile of his own as he glanced at Katie. “Would that be rail and trip?” he asked, trying to decipher some of Val’s words.
“Yes. She speaks well for her age, but her r’s and w’s get mixed up a lot of the time, especially when she’s excited.”
“It’s adorable,” he mouthed to her, his eyes sparkling with delight, and it was like Katie was seeing her daughter for the first time through another person’s eyes.
Val’s speech was adorable, but being the mom, Katie heard it all the time and the cuteness of it had subsided. But Connor was living it all for the first time, and Katie found him, and his reactions to it all, incredibly sweet as well.
After swiping her key card in the reader, the large metal gate unlocked, and Connor held it open while she and Val walked into the well-landscaped play area. There were tables for picnics, covered areas for shade, and a few large recreation areas for different age groups. Katie, or rather Val, led them toward the playground for toddlers and the grown-ups followed a few steps behind.
“This is really nice,” Connor commented, taking it all in.
Katie agreed. “The community is one of the reasons I bought a place in this area. It’s a great neighborhood, but there’s peace of mind in knowing that the park where all the kids play is secure, and not just anyone can easily get inside.”
“There’s Wobbie!” Val said in a high-pitched squeal, and the little boy in the distance who was also in her preschool class called her over. “Can I go play with him, Mommy? Please? I pwomise to stay where you can see me!”
That was always the rule, though the playground for the youngest age group had been built in a way that was open and exposed from every angle. There were no hiding spots or places that Val couldn’t be seen at all times.
“Yes, go ahead,” Katie said, waving to Robbie’s mom, who was sitting near the playground with another woman, both of whom seemed fascinated by the man she was with—probably because it was the first time she’d ever been seen with a man, not to mention a hot, gorgeous, sexy one.
Val dropped her backpack on the ground and ran to the play set that was reminiscent of a small-scale replica of the Swiss Family Treehouse, but minus the tree, and it was positioned low, and safely, to the ground. Katie scooped up her daughter’s bag and sat down on a nearby bench that was close to where Val was playing, and Connor slid into the seat right next to her. Not so close it was inappropriate, but near enough that she could feel his body heat, and the heady scent of his cologne wreaked havoc with her feminine senses.
Connor watched Val for a few quiet moments before speaking. “I know I might be biased, but Katie . . . Val is so beautiful and bright and such a happy little girl.”
Katie heard the hint of longing in his voice, that maybe he was thinking about all the years he’d missed out on that he could never get back. “You’re very good with her,” she said, wondering if he’d had practice with any other kids. “Do you have any nieces or nephews?”
He shook his head and gave her a quick grin. “No, not yet, but my sister, Natalie, is pregnant and due in about a month. She’s having a boy. It’s just her and me, sibling-wise, and she’s the first one in the family to have a baby.” His grin turned wry as he realized his mistake. “Well, she was until a few days ago, anyway. I kind of beat her to it by almost three years.”
“Yeah . . . how did that go for you?” Katie asked, watching as Val chased Robbie to the steps leading to the three-foot kiddie slide, her daughter’s sweet laughter pealing in the air. “Telling your family about Val, I mean?”
“Well . . . I can honestly say that everyone was shocked.” He laughed lightly. “But I explained the situation, and how you and I met, and as soon as I showed everyone Val’s picture, hearts melted. She looks just like my sister at that age, and my parents can’t wait to meet her, and you, too.”
Katie tried not to let any panic set in over the fact that she would now have to share Val not only with Connor but his family, as well. It had just been the two of them for so long, and selfishly, a part of her was afraid of that sharing process and what it would entail. Long weekends away for Val with her dad, and Katie sitting at home alone? Custody arrangements with Connor where the two of them created a bond that Katie wasn’t a part of? Her fears were endless.
Connor stretched his arm across the back of the bench seat but didn’t touch her, though the part of Katie that had been without a man’s touch since their night together wished those fingers would brush along the back of her neck or slide into her hair . . .
“Katie . . . ” He waited until their gazes met before he continued, softly and with care. “I know Val already has a set of grandparents that she probably has a great relationship with, and I don’t want to take any of that away from her, but my mom and dad also want to be a part of her life as grandparents, too.”
His assumption was like a knife in her chest, because her mother and father had no interest in spending time with Katie, let alone doting on their only grandchild. “My parents have never even seen Val.” It hurt to admit the words out loud.
A confused frown etched his brows. “What?” he asked, as if the notion was impossible for him to imagine.
She exhaled a sigh, returning her attention to her daughter. “I’m an only child, and I really haven’t been close with either parent since I graduated from high school and moved here to Chicago for college. They’re divorced,” she said, her voice tight.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured sympathetically.
She shrugged as if it didn’t matter, though deep inside, the scars were there, and she knew they always would be. “They separated when I was four, and it was not an amicable split. As soon as I turned eighteen and they weren’t legally responsible for me any longer, they both went off and did their own thing, as far away from each other as they could, and I didn’t hear from them very often.”
“Where are they now?” he asked.
She nearly moaned when his fingers finally slid against the back of her neck and beneath the short fall of her hair, his touch warm and tender, his fingers still as calloused as they’d been that night in Denver. The physical connection between them, as light as it was, made her heart beat faster, made her feel not so alone. But that light brush of his hand also made her body soften in places and ache in others, and dear God, she wanted to scoot closer and curl into him like a kitten.
She focused on the question he’d just asked about her parents’ whereabouts. “My mom is living in London with a guy she met there a few years ago, and my dad . . . well, I’m not quite sure where he is right now since he’s moved around a lot. I told them both about Val when I found out I was pregnant, but neither one has ever made an effort to see her.”
“Jesus,” he said, his voice low but harsh. “That’s pretty shitty.”
She laughed, though the sound lacked humor. “After the childhood I had, it doesn’t surprise me one bit. My parents are pretty selfish people.”
When she cast a quick glance at him, she saw the furrow of his brows, as if he was thinking about what she’d just said and wanted to ask about the less-than-perfect childhood she’d mentioned. “I don’t expect anything from them, and that way I’m never disappointed,” she said, hoping to detour those questions in his gaze.
It was the bubbly sound of Val’s voice as she told Robbie to go down the slide with her that thankfully had Connor glancing away to look at his daughter. The glee that escaped Val as she glided down the short sloping surface made a smile tug at Connor’s lips.
“So, you’ve raised Val all on your own, without any help from anyone?” he asked, his gaze still on his daughter.
“For the most part, yes,” she said, knowing he meant close family. “My neighbor and good friend, Avery, and her husband, are always there for me if I need anything.”
He tipped his head her way so she could see his serious expression. “It wouldn’t have been that way had I known. You would have always had someone there for you and Val.”
She believed him, that he would have been a father who was present in Val’s life given the chance . . . and would be from here on out. “I’m sorry you missed out on the first three years of Val’s life,” she offered, meaning it.
“Me, too.” The big, warm hand still at the nape of her neck slowly moved, until his thumb stroked intimately along her jawline. Their gazes held, his filled with heat and desire and more questions she wasn’t sure she wanted to answer. “About that night in Denver—”
“Mommy, can you push me on the swing?” Val asked as she came barreling up to Katie, defusing the moment between her and Connor and effectively deterring anything else he might have said or asked. “I want to go as high as the sky!”
Without missing a beat, Connor lowered his hand from her face and turned his full attention to Val. “What do you say I push you on the swing so your mom can sit and relax and enjoy the day?”
Val gave him a skeptical look, but Connor wasn’t dissuaded.
Leaning toward Val, he bent his arm up and pointed to the taut bicep now bulging around the sleeve of his T-shirt. “See this big muscle right here?” he asked Val, and the little girl nodded, eyes wide as she stared at the impressive swell of sinew in his upper arm that made even Katie want to swoon. “That means I’m super-strong, and I can push you much higher than your mom can.”
“Okay,” Val agreed.
Katie rolled her eyes. A gorgeous guy flexing his muscles was all it took to convince Val to give in to him.
Her daughter ran off toward the swing set, and Connor stood, a pleased grin on his too-handsome face.
“Oh, my God,” Katie said, pure amusement in her voice. “You’re shameless, using your muscles to sway a girl like that.”
He laughed, the sound low and intimate and, yes, completely and utterly shameless as he met her gaze. “It worked on her mom, didn’t it?” he said, and with a sinful, sexy wink at her, he followed Val, a cocky strut in his walk.
She was suddenly feverishly hot, and it had nothing to do with the sun overhead. Yes, his magnificent body had made her weak in the knees, and there wasn’t a night that went by that she didn’t close her eyes and remember what it felt like to run her hands over his hard chest, those taut abs, those strong thighs . . .
Damn. She shifted on the bench and cut off that line of thought before she spontaneously combusted out in public.
She focused on Val and Connor instead, and the effortless way he picked her up—with those big, muscled arms—and helped her into the little bucket seat, designed so that younger children wouldn’t fall off, or out of, the secure chair. He pushed her as promised, but clearly tempered his true strength so that Val didn’t go too high. Her little girl giggled as the swing soared up into the air, her little legs kicking back and forth as she raised her arms to touch the sky.
After a good ten minutes, Val announced that she was thirsty, and Connor stopped the swing to let her down. They walked together toward Katie, with Connor still pouring on the charm.
“So what do you think, Val? Did my muscles work?”
Val nodded exuberantly, and lost in her enthusiasm, she looked up at Connor and slipped her tiny hand in his, already trusting him. “You are stronger than Mommy. I almost touched the clouds!”
Connor smiled down at her, and Katie could nearly see the lump in his throat that he had to swallow back because of the way his daughter had, without thought, just held his hand. “Next time, we’ll try harder.”
“Okay.” Val beamed up at him, clearly already won over by her daddy, which Katie completely understood.
When the two of them reached the bench where Katie was still sitting, she already had Val’s juice box out and the straw in it for her. Her daughter gulped down the apple juice and Connor sat down in the space next to her again, his thigh pressing lightly against hers.
The whole scene seemed so . . . normal. This was probably going to be their new routine for a while, she realized. Meeting up somewhere, being with Val together, and eventually, when the little girl was comfortable enough, Connor would take her for a few hours on their own, then maybe an entire day, then weekends . . .
“Want some of my juice?” she asked Connor, offering him the box she’d just drunk from as she leaned against his leg and nearly batted her lashes at him.
He gently touched her hair. “I’m good, but thank you.”
She took another sip, then lifted her free hand and tried to show him the gesture for three fingers. “Did you know I’m going to be this many fingers on my buthday?”
The corner of his mouth twitched with a grin at her attempt to hold her thumb and pinkie finger together. “Yes. Your mom told me that you’re having a birthday soon.”
“I am. With cupcakes and presents!” She did a little hop-skip on her feet in her excitement, then blinked up at him guilelessly. “Are you coming to my party?”
She saw Connor hesitate before saying, “That’s up to your mom.”
He didn’t look Katie’s way, and she realized that he was truly leaving the decision up to her, without any pressure. But he’d already missed two of Val’s birthdays, and she wouldn’t keep him from being a part of her third.
“Yes, of course he’s invited to your party,” she said, feeling yet another shift in this three-way dynamic where Connor was now a part of all those special events.
“Yippee!”
While Val hopped around like a human jumping bean, Connor finally looked at Katie, his eyes warm and grateful as he mouthed the words thank you to her.