Chapter Six
They took me to a different safe house, a nice place a few miles away from where Wilder and I had been staying. They put me in a bed with my clothes still on then hooked me up to an IV. They gave me a blood transfusion, and that stopped me from feeling so weak. After sitting there for thirty minutes, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up sometime later from the sound of my monitor. The IV was still in my arm, and the beeping noise echoed in the bedroom. My eyes opened and focused on the man sitting at my bedside. My vision was blurry, so his face was difficult to make out.
“Gray.” Ben scooted closer to me and grabbed my hand. “About time, lazy bones.”
The teasing tone of his voice immediately made me smile. “I’m not lazy. I got shot.”
“Me too.” He pointed to his right arm, which was bandaged up just like mine. Except his was in a sling. The smile on his face suggested the experience was just a big joke. “We look like twins.”
“Are you okay?” I sat up and felt the terror grip me by the throat. “You should be in bed too.”
“No, I’m fine,” he said quickly. “I’ve been shot before. No big deal.”
“No big deal?” I asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I get shot all the time. You’ve seen my naked body in all its glory.”
“But…” I rubbed his forearm, concerned despite the fact I was in the same condition.
“But I’m not lying in bed like a dying person. I bounced back.”
“Hey, don’t be mean. I just felt a little dizzy. I’ve never been shot before.”
“Well, toughen up.” He kissed the top of my hand to tell me he was kidding.
“I hope this means the mission went well.” If he lost the pulse and Mr. Connell, he seemed too happy.
“It did. We got Daniel’s father back and the pulse. Everything is on the way back to France as we speak.”
Now that my mind was working at full capacity, I remembered the last encounter with my father. “Where’s Wilder?”
“He has your father back in custody in France.” His smile dropped when he broached the difficult subject. “You doing okay?” His fingers wrapped around mine. “I’m sure that was difficult.”
“Yeah…it was.” But at least my father cared about me not to let me die. Wilder wouldn’t have killed me, but he didn’t know that. Wilder was ruthless and terrifying. I knew him well, but I was still a little afraid of him. “Now I’m not sure what’s going to happen.”
“Me neither. He’s at the base right now in a cell.”
“Is Wilder going to turn him over to the authorities?”
“I don’t think so. I think he wants intel out of him. Giving him to the Americans won’t help much since they have strict rules about torture. We aren’t loyal to any particular country, so we can do whatever we want.”
I wasn’t if that was a good thing. I didn’t want my father to be tortured even if he deserved it.
Ben’s phone began to ring. He pulled it out of his pocket and sighed when he glanced at the screen. “Wilder…I’ve gotta take this.” He tapped the button on the screen then placed his phone against his ear. “Is he talking?”
“Are you with Gray?” He sidestepped the question altogether. “Her phone is off, and the guards said she was still asleep.” Wilder spoke in his usual tone, a permanent state of pissed-off-ness.
“Yeah,” Ben said with a sigh. “I’m with her now.”
“Put her on and leave the room.”
Ben clenched his jaw like he wanted to tell Wilder to go to hell. But something changed his mind, and he handed the phone over. “I’ll be outside.”
I held the black phone and pressed it to my ear once Ben was gone and the door was shut. I listened to the silence over the line before I finally spoke. “Hey.”
“You doing okay?” Now that he was speaking to me, his tone was completely different. He was concerned and heartfelt. “John said your vitals were good, and you’re going to make a strong recovery, but I’ve been worried.”
“I’m gonna be fine, Wilder.” I still felt a little weak, but for being shot, I was in pretty good shape.
“The only reason why I’m not beside you is because of your father. I had to get him out of there.”
“I know.”
“I just wanted you to know that. I wish I were there.”
“I’m really fine,” I assured him. “Ben got shot too, and he’s walking around like nothing happened. I don’t need to be in this bed.”
“No, stay put,” he said firmly. “Ben is just an idiot. Don’t listen to him.”
I was still in my jeans and my shirt with my shoes on. My gun and other supplies were sitting on the sofa on the other side of the room, including my phone. I listened to the line go quiet as we ran out of things to say.
“I’m sorry I hurt you…I feel like shit.”
“Don’t apologize, Wilder. It was part of the plan. I agreed to it.”
“I still feel sick. Every second of that experience was torture. I was in more pain than you were.”
I found that hard to believe. “Really, it’s fine. I don’t hold you accountable. It got the job done, and that’s all that matters.”
“I still feel terrible…and I suspect I’ll always feel terrible.”
My father was in custody, we got the pulse back, and Daniel had his father again. There was a lot to be grateful for. Me getting shot was irrelevant. “Well, I guess I’ll see you when I get back. I’m not sure when I’m getting out of here, but I’m sure it’ll be soon.”
“Okay,” he said quietly. “I want to talk to you when you get back.”
“About what?”
After a long pause, he answered. “You’ll see.”
***
Ben flew us back to France in a small plane similar to Wilder’s. I sat in the passenger seat, listening to the loud hum of the engine as I looked at the blue sky that engulfed us. There were no clouds, just a sea of blue underneath us.
I wondered if it was healthy for Ben to be flying when he was just shot two days ago, but he assured me everything would be fine. I had some time to heal, but I was still popping pills like candy. I hardly moved my arm because it was painful just to adjust it, but I still had full range of motion if I needed it. Ben was shot in a different location, so his arm had to be in a cast.
Ben took his time and circled the runway before he touched down on the asphalt. The plane bounced hard against the earth, but I bit back my grunt and held on to the sidebar as Ben hit the brakes and slowed the plane down to a smooth glide.
He guided it into the hangar off to the side of the property and finally killed the engine. “It’s good to be home, huh?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.”
He hit all the buttons on the dash and removed his helmet. “So, what did you think of your first mission?”
I pointed at my arm, like that was all the explanation I needed.
He chuckled. “It won’t always be like that.”
“I don’t feel like I did anything. I was just bait for Wilder to get what he needed. I didn’t draw my gun. I didn’t even throw a punch.”
“Don’t beat yourself up for it. Wilder wasn’t going to let you do anything too serious anyway. And besides, your father is a high-status international criminal. Every intelligence agency has been after him for years. You’re the reason he was captured. Wilder wouldn’t have been able to pull that off without you.”
My merit wasn’t based on my capability, it was based on my relationship to a criminal. I didn’t want to be a Debbie downer, so I didn’t say anything else. “Well, I’m starving. Let’s go eat something.”
He gave me a nod. “You’ve always been my kind of woman.”
We carried our things inside and immediately went to the fridge in the kitchen. The place was always stocked with food even though I never saw anyone bring groceries into the house. Ben and I made sandwiches and shared a bag of chips at the kitchen island.
Shane walked in a moment later. Her black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she seemed to be in good shape. No bullet wounds for her. “Didn’t know you guys were back. You look like shit.”
Ben popped a chip into his mouth. “Thanks, sweetheart.”
“I’m just grateful to be alive,” I said as I kept eating. “I don’t care too much about my appearance.”
Shane gave me a thumbs up. “Daniel and his father left a few hours ago. Wanted to get home.”
“Oh…” I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Daniel. I’d grown fond of that little boy since I started keeping an eye on him. I was never a big fan of kids, but spending time with him changed my viewpoint. Now I wanted to have kids someday…if my crazy life would allow it.
Ben read my thoughts. “I’m sure you can give him a call.”
“Yeah.” Shane grabbed a note and scribbled the information down. “I’d give them a few days. Mr. Connell was pretty shaken up when we intercepted him. He’d been tortured a lot.” Shane said everything without a drop of emotion, sticking to business as usual. She was like a robot, only understanding code and computers.
“Did they take him to a hospital?” I asked, thinking that was the most important step.
“They treated him here,” Shane explained. “He was uncomfortable, but not critical. He probably wants to be left alone for a while.” She grabbed a water from the fridge then walked off like the conversation was over.
Ben finished his food like the conversation never happened. “What do you want to do tonight?”
“Do?” I asked. “I’m lying in bed and watching TV.”
He chuckled. “Well, can I do that with you?”
“My hair is gonna be in a bun, I’m not gonna wear any makeup, and I’m gonna be in some ugly pajamas.”
“You’ll be beautiful like always.” He tossed our plates and napkins into the garbage then wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. “But Wilder might want to begin interrogation right away, so you may not have as much downtime as you think.”
“Interrogation?”
“Your father,” he explained. “You’ll be pretty critical for that.”
I could lay there and with a bullet wound, but I couldn’t face him and accuse him of crimes I had no knowledge of. That was Wilder’s forte. I aided in my father’s kidnapping, but I didn’t want anything else to do with the process. “I don’t know anything about his crimes.” And I didn’t want to know.
“You obviously have a lot of influence over him.”
“But I’m never going to get him to confess to anything. That’s what you and Wilder do.”
He shrugged. “It’s part of the job. So, you wanna make some popcorn and get to bed?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Just when Ben opened the cupboard and pulled out a packet, Wilder appeared. In a gray t-shirt and black jeans, his attire blended in with his dark mood. He hardly acknowledged Ben, even though he’d been shot during the mission. His entire focus was on me. “Shane told me you were back.”
I tried to ignore the intense way he looked at me because it made bumps appear on my arms. “We just finished lunch. We were starving.”
Ben tossed the popcorn into the microwave and got it started. “Now we’re gonna lay in bed and watch TV all day.”
Wilder glanced in his direction, giving him a cold look. Then he turned back to me and walked around the kitchen island until we were face to face. “You doing okay?” His arm moved around my waist, and he pulled me into his chest for a hug.
“I’m fine.” I wanted to brush off his concern because it was unnecessary, but it was nice to be held. His arms were warm and powerful, and it reminded me of the night I slept soundly in his arms.
His chin rested on my head, and he ran his hand up my back, his fingers gently digging into me. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I whispered. “Everything worked out in the end.” The microwave beeped when the popcorn was finished, and that reminded me that Ben was standing right there. I suddenly felt awkward showing Wilder this kind of affection, so I stepped back.
Wilder reluctantly released me.
“Where’s my father?”
“In a cell in the bunker. I’ll start interrogating him tomorrow. Solitary confinement for two days will make him a little anxious. It’ll make him overthink about my questions and his possible answers.”
“Psychological warfare.”
“Exactly.”
Ben ripped the bag open and poured the fresh popcorn into the bowl. “Alright, let’s get going.”
“Let me know if you need anything. I’m gonna get some rest.” I turned away, grateful I didn’t have to see that intense look any longer. It unnerved me because it was so powerful. No one had ever stared at me like that.
Wilder grabbed my wrist and kept me in place. “I said I want to talk to you.”
I hadn’t forgotten. I just assumed it could wait until I’d been home for longer than an hour. “What’s up?”
He didn’t look at Ben. “Leave us.”
Ben tossed a handful of popcorn into his mouth and leaned over the counter. “This is the kitchen—public space. You wanna grow some balls and tell Gray you’re gonna man up and be there for her? Go somewhere private.”
Wilder clenched his jaw at the insult but didn’t fire back. “Come on.” He walked to the front of the house and out the front door. Rose bushes and hedges led out to the large yard that took up the greenery around us. There a wooden bench in the center of the flower garden so he took a seat there.
I sat beside him.
He stared at the green in front of him with his hands resting in his lap. His beard was thick because he hadn’t shaved it since our mission in Serbia. He looked good either way, but I preferred the clean look. When his five o’ clock shadow came in, he looked just right.
The pain in my arm was starting to kick in because I hadn’t popped a pill since we got into the air. But it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle, so I held my silence. I wanted Wilder to say whatever he needed to say. If I spooked him, he may never come clean about it.
“I hated seeing you like that, bleeding out everywhere. I didn’t think it was going to bother me so much, but it did. It broke my heart, actually. I purposely kept you at a distance so this wouldn’t happen…but you were right. It happened anyway.”
It was warm because the sun was bright in the sky and there weren’t any clouds to cover it. I wish I had a pair of sunglasses to shield my eyes.
Wilder ran his hand down the front of his skull, touching his soft strands of hair and messing them up in the process. He could make any appearance look good. Now he looked like he just rolled out of bed. If he were sitting in just his boxers, he would look sexy. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to pretend we’re just friends and you don’t mean anything to me. For better or worse, I want to make this work.”
Was Wilder telling me everything I wanted to hear? I wanted to be more than just a fuck buddy to him in Switzerland, but he said that could never happen. Had he realized that loneliness wasn’t a way to exist? “You want to be with me?”
“Yes.” He finally looked at me, his blue eyes heavy with sincerity. “I’ve never been this jealous and this broken in my life. I hate watching you with him. I hate fucking someone else while I think of you.”
I hated picturing him with Maxine, a beautiful woman that possessed curves and skill. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Once I knew it was never going to happen with Wilder, I moved on and tried not to think of him in that way anymore. It worked most of the time until those quiet moments got to me.
“Please don’t tell me I’m too late.”
Ben and I had been spending a lot of time together. He was great in the sack, loveable and funny, and I’d probably would have fallen for him if I weren’t already hung up on Wilder. But he never really meant something to me. “No.”
He closed his eyes in relief as his arm circled my shoulders. He pulled me closer to him on the bench then pressed his face to mine. His forehead rested against mine as he held me. Instead of crushing his mouth against mine and kissing me the way we both wanted, he took his time.
It was nice.
Every time things heated up between us, he ruined it by treating me like a piece of ass he picked up from the bar that night. That’s never how I wanted to feel with Wilder. My feelings for him were more than superficial, even at first glance. I couldn’t settle for some of him when I wanted all of him.
His hand felt large against my shoulder, his fingers digging into my skin. It was the first time he didn’t treat me like I was a shard of glass about to break. He seemed to hold me for a long time, his breathing calm like he was sleeping.
I leaned into him and treasured the moment. I didn’t feel any regrets about the decision I made. After the way he rejected me for months, I should have moved on with my life and not given him the time of day. But Wilder had a special place in my heart. He reserved it a long time ago.
Wilder finally pulled away and looked down into my face, the sunlight still bright in our eyes. It was the most vulnerable look he’d ever worn, no longer appearing cold and impenetrable. His eyes were a lighter color, but that was probably because of the summer sun.
“You’re never too late.” If he took a year to finally realize what we had between us, I still would have welcomed him with open arms. Maybe one of us would be killed in action in the next few weeks, but keeping each other at a distance wouldn’t numb the pain. I would be devastated either way. At least now I would be happy every single day until that moment arrived.
The corner of his mouth rose in a slight smile, making his face appear even more handsome than usual. The slight playfulness entered his eyes, a sight so rare I couldn’t recall the last time I saw it. He leaned in and gripped me tighter, his intention obvious.
I held my breath, feeling the yearning deep in my gut. My lips ached for his like they never had before. I’d kissed him before, but this time was different. This time it was the beginning of something great.
He leaned in and pressed his soft mouth against mine, his warm breath filling my mouth instantly. His hand slid into the back of my neck, his fingers in my hair. His lips paused for an instant, treasuring the initial spark our joined mouths created. He rubbed his nose against mine then dove in again, kissing me harder. It was the kind of passion he’d shown before, but this time it contained a romantic resistance, the purposeful slowness that heightened our intimacy. He eventually slipped his tongue into my mouth.
My fingertips tingled before I gripped his thigh, feeling his muscular frame. My pinky grazed the definition of his hard-on, and I purposely pulled away before I took our embrace in a direction we weren’t ready for. Right now, we were only kissing in the garden under the sun, starting our lives together.
***
“Let’s get dinner.” Wilder held my hand as he walked with me back to the house.
Once our kiss was over, the first thing I thought about was Ben. We were never anything serious, and he was aware of my feelings for Wilder. But no matter how laid back our friends-with-benefits arrangement was, he deserved to know what was going on. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I knew it needed to be done. “I need to talk to Ben.”
His hand tightened slightly before he gave a nod. “Okay.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t make any plans tonight. I’m not sure how this is gonna go.”
“He’s a big boy, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it too much.” He stopped at the front door and didn’t step inside just yet.
“I hope things won’t be weird between the two of you. We’re a team, after all. We’re family.”
He rested his hand on the door but didn’t open it. “It’ll be weird in the beginning, but it’ll pass, Gray. And for my part, I don’t hold anything against him. I could have had you sooner if I pulled my head out of my ass.” He opened the door and stepped inside, ending the conversation.
Wilder immediately darted to the left and approached the elevator that led to the bunker. He didn’t linger around to eavesdrop or make the conversation more uncomfortable than it already was.
I looked for Ben in the kitchen, but he was nowhere to be found. He had a big appetite, but it was unreasonable to expect him to still be eating. Wilder and I talked outside for nearly thirty minutes.
I headed to his bedroom next and knocked.
“It’s open.”
I found him sitting on the couch with his computer on his lap. His fingers were hitting the keyboard quickly as he typed a message. “Give me a sec.”
I sat on the other couch and noticed the yellow folder on the coffee table. Our main mission was over, but I forgot the world still turned. There were still people to save, crisis’ to avert.
Ben finished up then shut the screen. “Sorry, I ate all the popcorn.” He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.
I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, but he somehow made me chuckle. “Darn, I took too long.”
“So, did Wilder stop being a little bitch?”
“I don’t know…I think he’ll always be a little bitch from time to time.”
It was Ben’s turn to chuckle. “If we were drinking, I’d clink my glass against yours.”
“Well, it’s barely noon.”
He shrugged. “You’re right…that is pretty late to start drinking.”
I laughed and suddenly dreaded this conversation even more. Ben had become a close friend, and I would miss talking to him like this.
Ben suddenly turned serious, like he knew what I was going to say even though he had no idea. “So, what did he say?”
I looked into his eyes and hesitated. “He said he wants to be with me.” I felt both happy and sad at the revelation. I dropped my gaze because it was too difficult to look at him. We’d just been fooling around, but what if it meant more to him than I realized?
Ben nodded, his eyes dimming slightly. “Wow, I didn’t think he had it in him. Good for him. Maybe he just needed the right woman to come along for him to understand what he’s missing.”
I smiled. “Thanks…”
“I’m glad you guys aren’t wasting any more time. Anything can change tomorrow, you know?”
I couldn’t believe how easy he was making this. “You’re really okay with this?”
“Of course.” He sat forward and rested his elbows on his thighs. “Gray, I knew what we were. And you never hid your feelings about Wilder. You were honest, and I appreciate that. I knew Wilder would change his mind eventually. Honestly, I’m surprised he took this long. Thought it would happen a lot sooner.”
He seemed sincere, so I accepted his reaction. “I hope we can stay close. You’ve become one of my closest friends. You made me feel comfortable when I came to this new place. I would miss this if it stopped.”
“Gray, you don’t need to worry about that. Friends forever, alright?”
“Yeah?” The stress finally left my chest when the hardest part was over.
“Totally.”
“You still wanna watch that movie then?”
He grinned. “I could always eat more popcorn.”