16
Enya returned home. The storm inside her had not calmed, the rage keeping her away from her apartment had not faded. There was a very simple motivation that brought her back here, she desperately needed to change her clothes. Every piece of clothing she had on reminded her of Thomas Silversson in one or another way. And as if all of that was not enough, now the scarf was also gone.
It helped to concentrate her thoughts on a fact as simple as a missing scarf, to pretend that her biggest worry was figuring out how she was going to tell Emma that her favorite scarf was gone.
How dare he take it with him?! When she shoved it into his face, she aimed to only demonstrate her anger. She did think he was going to leave it there on the table or throw it on the floor when he left.
Now, Thomas Silversson was out of her life for good, as was the scarf that had shared some of the most amazing memories with them. There was no time for grieving the loss of the scarf or her job. Enya Williams knew one thing for sure, she needed to turn every last drop of her rage into motivation to fuel her mind, to keep her going. That was exactly what needed to be done. She would not break now, she would not allow herself to.
Enya took a long shower, knowing that the water was going to clean away the last reminders of his touches on her skin. She wanted every kiss, every caress of his to be gone. Those were permanently branded in her memory, no need to want to savor the ghosts of his physical touches on her skin as well. The long shower was one of the most empowering things Enya knew. So many ideas were born there, so many things she needed to do. Today. Now.
When she stepped out of the shower and the cool air enfolded her, for one moment Enya wanted to give up again. Her first thought was to lie down on bed and not move. She could waste a whole day or two away from her life. Not much was going to change anyway. The damage was done already and she simply needed to find ways to cope with it. That could be done any time.
She almost submitted to the weakness of her body. As she fell on the bed, she felt something under her ass. The piece of paper she had thrown on top of her bed two days ago saved her from her own destructive self. The moment she took it in her hands, Enya knew exactly what she needed to do first.
This was the most recent offer she had received from Silversson Industries. A deal that would get her fifteen times more money than her pastry shop was worth and the permission to open two shops of ‘Yum & Fun’ in the new shopping and entertainment center Silversson Industries built on their street. He had offered her everything one could dream about. Yet, this was not what she could accept as a gift from him.
“You are not going to win this time, Thomas,” she whispered to him.
There was no wind to carry her words out of her bedroom and deliver them to him. Those words, spoken in a low voice, were lost and doomed to fade away into the thin air. They filled her determination, though, and that was all she needed.
Enya searched through her folders and found the very first version of the deal she had received. That was what most of the other shop owners had signed. Enya chuckled. There was no humor in her laughter, though. Most of those people had hurried to sign their crappy deals only because they were intimidated by the name of Silversson Industries. Some had thought that getting a double price for their possession was as generous as the corporate sharks could get. Others thought that they could use other means to push them out. Every single one of them had some dark fear nested in their hearts.
Enya shook her head. It was ironic that she of all people stood so long against him and she ended up losing everything her heart, her trust and her shop. Signing the paper, she did not feel anything: no pain, no sharp sting of disappointment, no bitterness of the loss. Her senses were dulled the moment her heart had been ripped out of her chest with those cold words of his. Now, she did not need a dime more from Thomas Silversson. She had started this business once from the scratch, she could do it again.
Putting on some clothes, Enya hurried back to the empty street with one last surviving shop on it. She called her friends while she was on her way. Emma and Jenn were going to come after work to give her a hand. Lilly promised to be there for her the next day if she needed but tonight she had some plans with her most recent boyfriend.
As she opened the door, she turned the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’. Today they were not serving any bit of sweet happiness to anyone. Not today, not any other day anytime soon. Enya gathered all the desserts, placed them on the table in a large plate. She could feed her friends when they came to help her. Tearing this shop down was going to be bittersweet.
Jenn showed up first. She was glowing. At least, someone was happy. She looked blinded by her sweet happiness, though. Enya liked sweets only in her desserts - not in real life stories of her friends. She could be happy for her friends sometimes. Jennifer had always stood next to her, had her back, listened to every silly story of her. Now, she was ready to shut her out only because Jennifer was happy with Simon and instead of needing her shoulder to cry was asking her to help plan her beautiful life.
“En, I know you are not in the mood for this,” Jennifer started after she folded her sleeves and dived into the glorious work of cleaning the shelves of spices and arranging them into boxes Enya had found inside one of the empty stores.
“I’m always in the mood,” Enya lied and did her best to fake a smile. “Tell me.”
“It’s actually a request, from me and Simon,” Jenn hesitated again. “Will you agree to make our wedding cake and all the other desserts for our big day?”
Oh, so there is a big day coming? Enya shouldn’t have been surprised. That was usually what happened after a couple dated for years and finally got a huge piece of diamond on the woman’s finger. Like the one that was on Jenn’s finger now, when she was helping Enya to pack. She had taken off every other piece of jewelry, but left the ring on; as if Simon was going to mysteriously vanish if she ever took it off.
“Of course, I will,” Enya wrapped her arms around Jennifer’s shoulders. She was the one who needed this hug more. She wanted her friend to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Maybe her own big day was not as impossible and far away as it felt right now. “Have you decided on a date yet?”
“Almost,” Jenn was glowing brighter than the huge piece of the shiny rock on her finger when it caught the light of the sun. “It’s not that soon, in March, but you know, I want it all to be perfect. So the sooner we start to plan things, the better. I want to enjoy every moment of these five months of planning.”
“It’s enough time for making a cake of the size of this whole state if you want,” she winked. “Or, since I’m jobless now, I could make one sample cake every day for you and Simon to try it and pick the one you want.”
“That sounds heavenly, though I might then need extra five months to get rid of all the calories I would’ve gained eating all those cakes.” Jenn turned her eyes to the big platter of sweets Enya had placed on the table. “I’m ready to start right away.”
“Dig in,” Enya encouraged. “These are all for the hard working folks who’ve volunteered to help me tonight.”
Jenn told everything she had in her mind for that perfect wedding day, which was still months away. Enya was not a big fan of glamorous events, but it did sound perfect. Maybe that was what she lacked? A simple, human dream of a snow white wedding dress and a walk down an aisle decorated with water lilies?
“How are you really doing, Enya,” Jenn suddenly stopped talking about her perfect life and looked at Enya. She hoped there was nothing on her face to give away that Jenn’s happy ever after did not interest her that much right now when her whole world had fallen apart around her. “I can see that you’re not fine, talk to me, please. I know what you are doing, shutting everyone out and closing up inside your head. That’s never helping, Enya. That has never helped you.”
Enya shrugged. There was so much to say, so many things she did not tell her friends during these days. She was not sure she needed them to know every little detail of her short-lived Silversson romance, if she could call it a romance. Maybe he looked at it as a random hookup. He asked himself to continue it in his office with that damned scarf. How else was she to understand it?
“I’ve signed the papers,” she simply answered. She could talk about how bad it felt to give away her business. Not so sure she would explain the emptiness that giving away her heart left.
“Ah, so now you are ten times richer?” Jenn smiled. It was a sad smile, she knew money was not what mattered when Enya lost the store she had put so much effort to build.
“Not exactly,” Enya sighed. “I’ve signed the first version of the agreement. With less money. I do not want to swallow the bait he has thrown my way. I’m not going to be his puppet.”
Not when he had rocked her heart and soul for several nights. Not after what they had shared. It might not mean so much for him, but Enya knew Thomas Silversson had left a big scar on her heart.
“I cannot believe it!” Enya flinched as she heard Emma’s voice.
She and Brandon were standing at the door, stupefied. Emma’s eyes were huge with surprise, her mouth open, her arms thrown to her sides. She had tried to talk some sense into Enya all these weeks. At times, it felt like Emma was more concerned about getting the better deal than Enya was.
“I swear to god, you are your own worst enemy, girlie!” Emma shook her head and collapsed on the chair next to Jennifer. “I need some sweets to digest this piece of information I’ve just heard.”
She quickly filled her mouth with some chocolate desserts. Those were her favorites. Brandon was still standing at the door.
“Hey, sorry I’m crashing your girl’s party,” he spoke shyly. Too shy for a high school best friend who had heard every piece of the crazy story these women had been through. “Em and I just thought you might need some man power to carry some boxes and the stuff like that. And there’s not much that I don’t know about you anyway, so don’t mind me, just keep on talking.”
“And you might need some guy’s advice as well, girlie,” Emma spoke with her mouth full of chocolate.
She was still trying to sound serious and even look menacing. Enya smiled. She doubted any advice was going to save the day, but listening did not hurt. Much.
“Yeh, well, I’m not here to lecture you, En, you know that,” Bran sat next to her. “But when, if not now, you might need some friendly advice? Listen, I get it that you don’t want his money. I respect that decision, even if Emma’s gonna kick my ass later at home for saying it. But I know what you’ve done to that guy.”
“What she always does,” Emma crossed her arms over her chest. “Look, none of us was ever on Jake’s side. He was a lousy, stupid idiot. But the man did love you. And what you did? Pushed him away again and again.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Jennifer tried to calm them down. “Maybe it’s enough. She is having a difficult day.”
“It’s not enough, Jenn. She has to hear this and who else if not her best friends will tell her that?” Emma nodded at Brandon, who took her hand into his and continued.
“She’s right,” Bran said.
Did they rehearse this little speech? Enya wondered. This sounded like some perfectly written and rehearsed lines, not something that spontaneously came to their minds.
“Think about it - how many times you’ve pushed Jake over the edge, made him feel he was not good enough for you? You were always this hard working, smart and successful woman and you made him feel like he was never trying hard enough, never loving you enough, caring enough… or whatever else you wanted. Now with all that in mind, let me ask you one question – what happened with this Thomas guy?”
Enya looked away. He was probably right. All of them were.
“I can answer that question,” Emma pushed. “She had been just her usual self. Silversson was just the next Jake, or those that came before him!”
“Enough,” Enya was not ready to listen to all of that now. They might be right, but this was her life and her relationships. If she wanted to ruin every single one of them, it was her call and only hers. “I need to go and take care of something. You get some coffee and sweets and I’ll be back soon.”
She rushed out of the shop walking as fast as she could. She needed some air. But first of all, she needed to deliver something to Silversson Industries; in person. Not that she enjoyed it, but if Thomas Silversson could deliver her invitations to her in the shop, she could do the same. And no hard feelings involved.
As she walked to the headquarters of Silversson Industries, she made herself a promise. Once she left this envelope at the reception, she was going to return to her shop, apologize to her friends and start her life anew. This was a plan and Enya Willson loved following her plans.