I called after William when he marched out of my office, but he ignored me. He didn’t even give me the chance to explain…

But I knew he wouldn’t return to me. Not tonight. Not after everything that happened. And it wouldn’t have mattered. He wasn’t going to listen to me.

I suppose I don’t deserve the opportunity to explain myself. I haven’t given him much reason to care about the logic in my decision. Not that I’ve decided anything—not really. I’d applied for admission to Yale before I even entered Andrew’s pageant. I hadn’t really considered that I might be given permission from my father to attend. Though, when I asked him for permission, he not only approved, he nearly wanted to push me out the door that day. And then the surprise announcement came from William—and my father had agreed to that without telling me—and I’d thought that the agreement that I might return to school was off. But it wasn’t off at all. It was what my father used as leverage to get me to agree to this ridiculous marriage. If I agreed to marry William, he’d allow me to attend school wherever I chose.

And this marriage has turned out to be ridiculous. Whatever feelings I might have thought I was having for William were clearly nothing more than a mistake. It was merely me confusing lust for…whatever it was I confused it for. There is obviously never going to be a relationship between William and me. He can’t even stand to be in the same room for longer than a moment unless we’re playing one of his stupid games. Or having sex. Yes, he seemed perfectly willing to tolerate me as long as I was willing to allow him to have his way.

Oh, who am I kidding? I enjoyed him every bit as much as he enjoyed me. It’s just too bad that last night was our first and final time. It might have been nice to have the diversion for a little while longer.

I can’t bear the thought of staying in my office a moment longer, and I know exactly where I need to go. I walk toward the south wing to the aviary. I know there are many guests here now, but given the late hour, I doubt I’ll bump into any of them in the halls.

I suppose if William were to return to my office, he’ll likely think that I’m going to meet James. I thought for a moment that William might be someone I could finally trust—if not with my heart, at least with the truth. But he still seems convinced that I’m in love with my former professor.

I’ve never given William any reason to doubt my faithfulness to him, and yet, he does. He somehow believes that because I invited James to be the keynote speaker at the conference, I hold some sort of torch for him—that my love for him still burns somewhere in my soul.

If William only knew… Of course, he doesn’t. And he won’t. William may want an all-access pass to my secrets, but that is one that is locked away in the vault, never to be opened by anyone.

I head to my favorite room in the palace. As soon as I walk into the aviary, I’m instantly calmed. I take a seat on one of the benches and close my eyes, listening to the distant sound of a chirping bird. It’s nighttime, and most of the birds are asleep and not making their usual calls. But there’s the one—somewhere in the room—and the sound is enough to allow me some space to breathe.

If I’d thought to bring a journal with me, I could write. I’ve only just started writing poetry about my tortured relationship with William, but I think it’s some of the best work I’ve done. I haven’t had a ton of time to write at all—my days are filled with planning the conference and with the cleanup of Rosvalia—but as soon as the conference is over, I will have time to do what I like. And what I would like is to write about William—at least to explore the feelings I seem to have been forming for him. And perhaps if I can tap into those—acknowledge those feelings in some way—it might be possible for me to one day lift this metal cage from around my heart.

“Oh! I didn’t think anyone would be here.”

I open my eyes, blinking a few times toward the door. I recognize the woman walking toward me as Princess Sophia, the youngest of the Montovian siblings.

She walks over to my bench and sits down next to me, not even waiting to be invited. “This is so lovely. I saw it this morning when we arrived, and I knew I had to come and actually sit in here.” She looks up. “I can’t believe we never had an aviary built in our palace.”

“My grandmother had it built here about fifty years ago. She was quite the amateur ornithologist.”

“Well, I don’t know anything about that.” She grins over at me. “But I do know this is one of the most relaxing rooms I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in.”

“I’ll let my mother know you enjoyed it—”

She interrupts without even considering my statement. “Have you forgiven my brother?”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about—”

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about, Justine. My brother…” She lets out a long sigh. “Look, we all know he made a mistake, announcing your betrothal the way he did. And he did make a huge mistake. I’m on your side on that one.”

My brow furrows. “Okay.”

She shakes her head, letting me know she isn’t done. “But it’s clear to anyone who might look that you’re still angry about it.”

I frown. “I don’t—”

“Know what I’m talking about. Right.” She grins. “I know I’m speaking out of turn. It’s sort of what I’m known for. And I’m sorry we didn’t have the chance to get to know each other better while you were in Montovia. To be honest, I still regret the way I treated the…women in Andrew’s pageant. It was just so obvious that he and Victoria…”

I wait for the sharp feeling to twist in my gut at the mention of that ridiculous contest, but it doesn’t come. “I’m happy for your brother. Truly. Everyone deserves to marry for love.”

Her smile falls instantly. “I agree. I didn’t mean—”

“I did what was best for my country and to avoid a war, as did William. We both made a decision to do what was best in the short run and to ignore the consequences. I don’t expect your brother to love me.”

She sighs. “Have you seen my brother lately? He is in love.” She blushes, and her mouth falls open. “Of course, you already know that. He’s practically ill with it.”

I stare at her for a few moments, uncertain I’ve heard her correctly. But something does definitely twist in my stomach at those particular words, something I recognize instantly as jealousy. It takes me another few moments to understand what she’s really saying. That William isn’t in love with another woman…he’s in love with me.

I shake my head at her. “No. You’re wrong. He’s not…in love.”

She laughs. “Perhaps you’ve not seen him, then. Did he not punch a man for you?”

“That…was a misunderstanding.”

She shakes her head, grinning. “He was protecting you. Acting like a jealous fool, certainly, but in his mind, he was guarding what he sees as his.”

“I’m not…”

“You’re his wife. Technically, you are his, at least under the ridiculous laws of your own country.” She tilts her head. “And the way William goes on and on about you…the way he can’t not look at you when you’re anywhere in his sight…” Her eyes glint. “He’s definitely in love.”

“But…this was a marriage of convenience. There is no love to be found in such an arrangement.”

She lifts a brow. “Are you certain of that?” She shrugs. “Maybe you can find it in such an arrangement. Is there some rule saying you can’t?”

“Of course not—”

“Then why don’t you give my brother a chance?” She stares at me for a moment. “I don’t think you’ll find a more loyal and giving man anywhere else.”

She’s right, of course. I’ve been fighting so hard against the injustices I’ve blamed on him that I haven’t seen what was in front of me all along. I have a wonderful husband—one who is loyal and caring and giving. One who is intelligent and strong. William is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. He loves my citizens—and my citizens seem to love him, too. Why haven’t I been able to see him as the person he truly is? I’ve seen him be the truly kind and caring man he is on so many occasions—when he saved my horse…when he helped to rebuild the bridge. Why did I ever lose sight of that?

I’ve made him into some sort of monster in my head because of how our marriage was arranged, and I never have given him a real chance, even though he’s given me many. Probably more than I deserve for the way I’ve treated him.

I clasp her hand. “You’re right.” I nod a few times, smiling. “Of course you are right.”

“My brother is pigheaded and thinks he is never wrong. But you’ll never find a more loyal and giving man.” She smiles at me. “And I stand by my earlier words…he’s already in love with you, even if he doesn’t care to admit it.”

I can’t tell her, of course, but I think it’s possible—possible—I might share similar feelings for her brother.

I nod as I stand, letting her hand go. “I apologize, Sophia. I have something I need to do.”

She grins. “Don’t let me be the one to stop you. And Justine…”

I turn to her as I start for the door. “Yes?”

“I’ve always wanted a sister.”

My smile widens. “Me, too.”

I race through the halls and back to our shared suite—the one I haven’t been in for the past two weeks. Something tells me William will be there—he won’t have gone to my guest suite, not after everything that’s happened.

The door is unlocked, and I let out a sigh of relief as I enter. I would have had to go all the way back to my office for the key, and I don’t want to wait another moment to be with my husband.

My heart is pounding—I see the light on in the bedroom. I briefly consider taking off my blouse and skirt, but I don’t. I think I’d rather have William tear them off me.

I knock softly before I open the bedroom door. William is in bed reading, though it isn’t a book I recognize.

He doesn’t look up at me. He also doesn’t speak.

I clear my throat to get his attention.

Nothing.

“William, I—”

“I’m a little busy here.” He waves his hand at the bedroom door. “Go back to your room, Princess. Better yet, go back to him.”

My cheeks burn at his words. “What?”

He sets his book to his side and sits up in bed. “I have no desire to have this conversation tonight, Princess.”

“What conversation?”

He shakes his head slowly, his gaze narrowing. “The one in which I tell you I’m going to give you what you want.”

“Oh?” I take a step toward the bed. He seems to have no idea that what I want is…him. I give him my most wicked smile. “And what is that?”

“Don’t worry, Princess. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Is that so?” I take another tenuous step toward the bed, lifting an eyebrow. “You know my secrets now, do you?”

His jaw clenches. “That you’re a philandering whore? Yes.” He nods. “Yes, I know.”

It feels like he’s punched me in the chest—every bit of air seems to have left my lungs, and tears sting at my eyes. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.

“Get out, Justine. I have nothing left to say to you.”

I shake my head a few times, stunned. I stumble backward, toward the door.

“Wait. I do have one more thing to say.”

I tilt my head, hoping this is all a huge, horrible joke.

He glares at me. “I’ll be returning to Montovia with my family at the conclusion of your conference. I wouldn’t want to cause a scene for you by leaving early.”

My lips move, but no sound comes out.

“Because I’m better than you, Justine. And I hope you remember that.”

I shake my head a few times, unable to wrap my brain around what is going on here. I was about to come in here and tell him how wrong I’d been. To tell him that I do feel something for him—that I want to try to work this out. That I care for him more than I wanted to admit. That I might finally be willing to take a chance on giving him more.

But clearly he does not feel the same way.

And I’ve been called enough names in my life. I’ll not stand for allowing William to do the same to me.

My gaze narrows, but I don’t try to say another word. If he wants to leave, all the better. I spin on my heel and leave the suite, slamming the door on my way out.

I did this to myself. I pushed him too hard and he finally cracked. What more did I expect?

Part of me is hoping he’ll follow me to my guest suite, but he doesn’t. I wait in bed for what seems like hours, but he never shows up.

When morning arrives, I still haven’t slept. I want to stay in bed with the covers over my head, but I have too much work left to do. The keynote lunch is in a little while, and I’ll have to be there for that if for nothing else during the conference.

For the first time, I find myself wishing William was here with me. My chest aches in a way I can’t even describe, and I find I can’t think of anything but him and this…heartbreak. But I don’t see him all morning. And as I walk to the conference hall where the keynote luncheon will be held—where my ex will be speaking—the same words echo in my head over and over and over.

I deserve every bit of this pain.