I’m exhausted and for good reason. I neither wish nor want to participate in William’s games today. What I mostly wish is that I could curl up into a ball somewhere and die. The fear of what my father is going to do to me when he finds out about my pregnancy is still weighing heavily upon me. Not knowing what I’m going to do about these children also nags at me. And the thought of having to return to class with a new poem in only a few more days is also daunting, though I feel I have plenty to say at the moment.

See how one-note that is…

William pulls my hand into his as soon as we leave my room, and I yank it away. “What are you doing?”

“Holding my wife’s—”

“I am no longer your wife.”

Color rushes to his cheeks. “Your hand. I apologize.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and turns to begin walking down the corridor.

I stop just in front of my room.

It takes him a few moments to realize I’m not beside him, and he turns and walks back to me in a few strides. “I realize I have to earn your trust again. And I do intend to do just that—”

“It isn’t that.” Of course, that is part of it, but there is something else nagging at me at the moment. “I don’t think…” I shake my head. “People will see us.”

He shrugs. “Let them see us. I highly doubt that—”

“People are watching me, William. I know it sounds paranoid—”

“It does sound paranoid.” He grins. “Look at us, agreeing on something.”

I glance over at him, slowly shaking my head. “You are just as hilarious as I remember.”

“I knew you missed me, too.”

“We can’t…we can’t just go waltzing around the campus—”

“We can waltz later. I’d love nothing more than to twirl you around a ballroom if you know of one nearby.”

My shoulders sag—there is no winning of arguments with him. Everything turns into a joke. I can only imagine the jokes he’ll make when he learns of my secret. Something about how I’m no lingerie model—not like the women he’s been seeing since our breakup.

“Princess—Justine—I only want to walk with you. If we should see a spot where we might take a meal together, I’d love nothing more than to sit with you. I just…I’ve missed you.”

I frown. I’ve missed him, too—more than I’ll ever tell him—but I can’t let him back into my life. “So we’re to be…what? Friends now? I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Because you have so many friends here?”

“Because…because we both know how this ends—”

“Ah, again with talking about the ending.” He cocks his head. “How about we speak only of the beginning—?”

“The beginning was nearly as bad.”

His grin widens. “Then we’ll speak only of today. Nothing else.” He extends his elbow to me. “Shall we?”

I’m still shaking my head as I take his elbow, and we begin walking to the exit of the dormitory.

“How do you like living here so far?”

“It’s fine. I’m somewhat disappointed that there isn’t snow yet this winter.”

“You like the snow?” He grins down at me. “I’d have thought you wouldn’t—”

“You don’t know me, William. You never did.”

“You’re quite right, of course. It’s something I’m here to remedy.”

I can’t even look up at him—I keep my eyes firmly in front of me. As much as I would love to be with him again—to learn to trust him again—I’m not even certain I can find the will to be nice. “I highly doubt you’ll have time to remedy anything in an afternoon.”

“I will if it extends into an evening. And perhaps another day. And another evening after that…” He pauses. “And if we like, it can continue like that for eternity.”

“Why are you doing this? Do you really wish to torture me?” Can’t he see how much he’s hurt me already? Can’t he understand how much more pain he’s going to cause?

He stops suddenly, turning me to face him. “Do you think the last six weeks haven’t been torture for me, as well? I’ve thought of nothing but you.”

I can’t seem to stop my anger from spilling out of me. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that I don’t believe you. You aren’t the only one who reads the tabloids, you know.”

He shrugs. “I don’t generally read them at all. I only wanted to see how you were getting on—”

“And you thought I didn’t want to see how you were getting on?” I glare at him. “I might have come to America. I might have—how did you put it? Come here to live my dream? But I didn’t run into the arms of a former lover—”

“I did not.” His eyebrows draw together. “You’re assuming what you read was true. And it wasn’t.”

“Hm. It isn’t for me to judge, William. We’re no longer married. And you and our fathers agreed that our marriage never even existed, so according to the laws of both of our countries, we were never married.”

He blinks a few times. “That isn’t how I’m going to remember our time together—”

“No, neither will I. But say what you will about me. I didn’t go running into the arms of my former lover—”

“Perhaps if you’d gone to Harvard, you would have.”

I glare at him, and it takes all my strength not to reach up and slap him. “I think you should leave.”

“I think I should stay.”

“To what end? So we can argue all the more?” I wave my hand between us. “This is all there is. All there ever was. All there ever will be. I’m sure you can find a nice Montovian girl—some non-noblewoman to argue with. One that your family will approve of.”

“My mother approves of you. She approves of my being here.”

“She said that?” I tilt my head. “She actually encouraged this brazen foolery?”

“Well, she didn’t actually say the words, but I know she approves. She’d welcome having you back in the palace if you’d come.”

“But I’m here. For now, at any rate.” I begin walking down the path that leads to the edge of campus. Luckily, not many students attend the intersessions, and the place is not nearly as full of students as it will be in a month. Though I still feel like there is someone or something staring at me, there is no one nearby—no one close enough to overhear anything I might say.

“You’re planning on leaving?” He catches up to me in a few strides.

“I won’t be living here forever.” I can’t tell him my days are numbered here—when this session is over in a month, my pregnancy will likely already be showing. It won’t do for me to be out in public if no formal announcement has been made. I don’t need the news getting back to my father through some tabloid’s photographs of my baby bump.

“Obviously. But it sounded like…” He shakes his head. “Can we at least speak civilly? Over a meal, perhaps?”

The mere mention of food has me wishing I could go take one of my nausea pills. “I don’t want to eat. If you’re hungry, I’m sure there are places—”

“Coffee, then. Or something stronger. Surely there are bars—”

“I’m not thirsty, either.” I can’t tell him I can’t drink alcohol for other reasons, but he doesn’t need to know.

“Then we can go somewhere else.” He points to a nearby building. “How about there? Surely there will be somewhere to talk in there.”

“That’s a library, William. You see the end of the sign where it says library? I’m not sure where you went to school, but in most places, they frown upon loud conversations in libraries.”

“It wouldn’t have to be loud.” He grins. “Though I do suppose our conversations do get a bit heated from time to time.”

“Can we just agree to go our separate ways? Please?” I’m not sure I recognize my voice—it sounds a lot more defeated than I’d realized.

“I’m not ready to leave. The way I left you last time is still something I deeply regret.”

“And as true as that may be, you still broke my heart.” My words still cause tears to sting at my eyes and the same wrenching twist in my chest. “I don’t really want to let you anywhere near it again. I hope you can understand that.”

“I do. I…do. And I know it’s difficult to believe me now, but I’m not going to ever let it happen again. I learned my lesson. And I’m going to do what I can to make it up to you.”

“Please, William. Please. I can’t. Perhaps one day you’ll understand. I need…I need you to go. I need to do this on my own.”

He stares at me for a long time, his eyes shining. But he says nothing else. He finally shakes his head before he turns.

And I watch him walk away.