CHAPTER SEVEN
YOU GOING TO take a picture of that truck down there, or should I just ask it to wait?”
At his lieutenant’s words, Kurt jerked his attention away from thoughts of Melissa—and the shitty way they’d left things when he’d had to bail for this mission—and snapped pictures of the truck full of 122mm rockets that was passing by their position. The lens on the camera was large enough for him to not only make out the markings on the rockets and the license plate on the truck, but the scruff on the driver’s face, too. The intel weenies back at the CIA had said they wanted details. Well, he was giving them details.
Kurt and his lieutenant—Mack Hunt—lay hidden in a shallow depression dug into the backside of a sand dune, protected from the wicked hot sun by nothing more than a light piece of khaki-colored burlap erected a few inches over their heads while they took pictures of every weapon laden vehicle that passed by on the road below. As work went, it was boring as hell, but the fact that they were almost twenty miles inside the border of western Iran with no backup and no way out if something went wrong, kept them focused and alert—even if Kurt was preoccupied with thoughts of Melissa for most of it.
Because he and Mack had only been able to travel at night, it had taken a full week to work their way on foot from their drop-off point in southeastern Iraq to this location, which was just outside the tiny city of Pahleh, Iran. Since getting here four days ago, they’d kept a detailed log of every vehicle that moved up and down the road. Trucks ranging in size from large flatbeds to small Toyotas drove into Iraq each evening loaded up with weapons, then came back at dawn empty. The Iranians were dumping both weapons and ammunition into Shia dominated portions of Iraq, preparing for the war they were sure was coming with Saddam Hussein and his Sunni-led military that still controlled most of the country.
Neither Kurt nor his LT had a clue when all the fighting was going to kick off, but when it did, it was going to be bloody. Kurt only hoped the US military didn’t get stuck in the middle. If history was any guide though, they probably would.
“What’s weighing on your mind?” Mack asked as he scribbled notes in a log book propped up on the sand in front of him.
Kurt took a few more photos before the truck disappeared around the bend, then lowered the camera. “Nothing.”
“Bullshit!” Mack snorted. “I’ve known you long enough to recognize when there’s something buzzing around in that so-called head of yours. You’ve been staring off into the distance like a drunk cow since we set up here. What the hell is going on with you?”
Kurt didn’t answer. He and Mack had been good friends since going through BUD/s together, but that didn’t mean he wanted to tell the guy about his love life… or lack thereof.
“Only two things I know can get a SEAL to be this introspective,” Mack said. “Either you’re thinking of leaving the Team, or there’s a woman who has you tied up in knots. I’m guessing it’s the latter?”
Kurt glanced at his friend, raising a brow. “Is it that obvious?”
“Hell, yeah. So who is this woman you’re so stuck on and why haven’t I met her yet?”
“Her name’s Melissa,” Kurt said. “And I haven’t had a chance to introduce her to anybody yet. We just met a few days before you and I came over here.”
Mack did a double take. “Whoa! You just met this woman and she already has you gazing off into the distance with a thousand-yard stare? She must be some kind of woman.”
“Yeah, she was pretty amazing.” Kurt’s mouth edged up despite how crappy everything was between him and Melissa right then. “We clicked the moment we met.”
“Was?” His friend frowned. “Did something happen?”
Kurt hadn’t even realized he’d answered in the past tense. “You could say that. Things were going great for a while. Hell, I’d already started convincing myself that maybe this thing between us could turn into something special. Then my frigging pager went off and Melissa got her first real taste of what it means to be with a SEAL. She didn’t like the flavor.”
“Ouch.” Mack winced. “How bad was it?”
“Bad,” Kurt admitted.
Just thinking about it made his chest hurt. When Melissa had wanted him to stay the night, he thought that meant she was willing accept being with a SEAL. The terror on her face when he’d told her he had to leave had almost brought him to his knees. He’d wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and tell her that everything would be okay. But then she’d said that stuff about not signing up for the kind of life he led, and he knew the wall he thought was gone was between them again.
Shit.
“And you want to know the worst part?” he demanded. “Melissa was scared and in tears, and I just walked out like a fucking coward.”
Mack lifted the binoculars to his eyes as a small Toyota pick-up loaded with metal small arms containers came into view, then lowered them so he could scribble some more notes in his book. When he was done, he looked at Kurt.
“So, what are you going to do?”
Kurt took a few pictures of the Toyota. The truck was so overloaded the damn wheels were about to fall off.
“There’s not much I can do.” He lowered the camera as the truck disappeared from sight. “Melissa is amazing, and when I’m with her I find myself thinking about a future that I never really considered. Kids. A nice house with a white picket fence. Hell, even a frigging minivan. But none of that matters if it isn’t what Melissa wants, too.”
He waited for his friend to rip into him and tell him he was delusional to even be thinking those things about a woman he’d just met. But instead Mack laughed.
“What’s so damn funny?” Kurt demanded, failing to see the humor in any of this.
“Nothing.” Mack grinned. “It’s just that I never thought I’d hear a Navy SEAL giving up so frigging easy. Shit, I’ve seen you run into a firefight wearing nothing but underwear and a tactical vest. Yet here you are giving up on a woman you claim is important to you.”
Kurt ground his jaw. “What the hell am I supposed to do, huh? After the way I walked out, I doubt she’d even let me in her apartment.”
Mack shrugged. “Then find another way to get in. We’re SEALs—it’s what we do.”
Maybe, but SEALs weren’t trained for this. “And then what?”
“Tell her how you really feel,” Mack said. “Tell her you see your kids’ eyes when you look at her or some other sappy shit like that. Hell, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter what you say, just go see her when we get back.”
Kurt regarded his friend thoughtfully. “When did you get so smart with women?”
“I’ve always been smart with women. I just haven’t found one who can appreciate my particular brand of intelligence.”
Kurt snorted. “I feel you.”
They lay there in silence for a while until Kurt thought of something else. “How long do you think SOCOM is going to leave us out here?”
Mack shrugged. “I have no idea. I just hope they don’t forget about us. I don’t think I can put up with you moaning and groaning about Melissa for another week.”
Kurt grunted. He couldn’t argue with that. He wouldn’t want to listen to himself for that long, either.
* * * * *
“Sorry I’m not very good company tonight,” Melissa said over her shoulder to Veronica as she led the way into her apartment.
“If I still hadn’t heard anything from the guy I was sleeping with, I wouldn’t be good company, either.”
Melissa’s first instinct was to defend Kurt and tell her friend that he hadn’t called because he was on a mission and hadn’t gotten back yet, but she resisted the urge. For all she knew, Kurt was already home. Maybe he hadn’t called because he simply didn’t want to.
Sighing, she tossed her purse on the coffee table, then flopped down on the couch. It had been three weeks since the night Kurt had walked out, and since then she’d been a complete mess. She hadn’t been sleeping well, she was snapping at her coworkers and the kids in her class, and this morning, she’d cried into her bowl of cereal—all because she’d lost her ever-loving mind when Kurt had to go to work and do his job—a job she knew he had before she’d decided to sleep with him and let him into her heart.
Not even the fun romantic comedy Veronica had insisted they go see tonight had been able to take her mind off her troubles.
“Maybe you should call Coronado,” Veronica suggested, sitting down beside her.
“I did.” After she’d both called and gone over to Kurt’s apartment every day for a week with no luck. “They wouldn’t even confirm that Kurt was a SEAL, much less that he was deployed somewhere.”
“Not even when you told them that you and Kurt were seeing each other?”
Melissa lifted a brow. “Like they’ve never heard that one before. They wouldn’t tell me anything. And unfortunately, I was so busy yelling at Kurt before he left that I never thought to ask him for the contact information of anyone on his Team I could talk to.”
Veronica frowned. “And he didn’t say how long he’d be gone?”
“No. I don’t think he even knew.” Melissa sighed. “Hell, for all I know, he got back two weeks ago and didn’t tell me because he decided I wasn’t worth the trouble.”
“I doubt that,” Veronica said. “Especially since he knows how you feel about him.” When Melissa didn’t say anything, her friend added, “You did tell him, right?”
Melissa shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. Her heart hurt just thinking about it. “No. I was so torn up over him leaving in the middle of the night that I didn’t tell him how I felt. Or that no matter how scared I was every time he walked out the door, I still wanted him in my life.”
Veronica was silent as she considered that. “But he knows anyway. I’m sure of it. I mean, why else would you get so upset when he left?”
“Yeah, well I’m not sure of it.” Melissa ran her hand through her hair. “Not that I blame him. How could he know I love him, when I didn’t know myself until after he’d left? You didn’t see his face when he walked out, Veronica. He thought it was over between us… before it even started.”
“But it’s not over,” Veronica said. “You just need to tell him that.”
Her friend made it sound so easy. If it were, she’d be camped out on Kurt’s doorstep waiting for him to come home right now.
Veronica let out a loud sigh. “I need a drink—and I don’t mean water. You have anything stronger than that?”
Melissa nodded. “Yeah, there are a few wine coolers in the fridge. Get me one, too.”
As her friend rummaged around in the fridge, Melissa rested her head back on the couch and wondered how Kurt had wormed his way into her heart so quickly.
“Hey,” Veronica called from the kitchen. “You have a message on your answering machine.”
Melissa didn’t bother to lift her head. “It’s probably one of the other first-grade teachers. We’re taking our classes to the zoo next week and still trying to figure out which parents are coming.”
“Shouldn’t you check?” Veronica said. “It could be Kurt.”
Melissa’s pulse skipped a beat, and it was all she could do not to run over and push the ‘play’ button. But before she could decide whether to give in to the urge, she heard the answering machine’s familiar beep announcing she had one new message.
“Melissa, it’s Kurt. If you’re there, pick up. I really need to talk to you.”
Kurt’s warm, deep tones vibrated out of the machine, filling her apartment. Melissa jumped up and ran into the kitchen so fast she almost slipped on the tile floor. The urge to grab the cordless phone out of the cradle even though she knew he wasn’t actually on the other end of the line right then was so powerful she had to clench her hands into fists.
“Melissa? Are you there?”
She opened her mouth to tell him that she was, but then closed it again when she remembered he couldn’t hear her.
When had he called? Was he home? Was he okay? Those questions and a thousand more whirled through her head so fast they made her dizzy. She grabbed the edge of the counter to steady herself. It was just so damn good to hear his voice. The relief was nearly overwhelming.
“Okay, I guess you’re not,” Kurt said, and for one terrified moment, Melissa thought he was about to hang up. He didn’t. “But if you are there and don’t want to pick up, I get that. I just wanted you to know that I’m back and that I’m okay. I figured you’d want to know. That’s why I called.”
Melissa tightened her hold on the counter, relief coursing through her. He was back home and he was safe. Thank God.
On the other end of the line, Kurt swore. “That’s bullshit. I didn’t just call you to tell you I was okay. I called because I have a lot more that I want to say to you, but I was worried if I showed up at your place, you’d slam the door in my face. I spent the last three weeks roasting my ass off in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but think about us. Or rather what could have been if I wasn’t a SEAL.”
Tears trickled down Melissa’s cheeks. This was the part where he said that they couldn’t be together, that there was no place for a woman like her in a life like his. As much as she wanted to reach out and stop the tape, she couldn’t make herself move.
“Crap,” he muttered. “I hate talking on these damn machines. I suck at this. But if this is the only way I can tell you how I feel, then here goes. First off—bottom line up front—I’ve fallen for you, harder than I ever would have thought possible. And if that declaration has you reaching for the delete button on your machine, please hear me out.”
There were a few seconds of silence, just enough time for Melissa to realize that instead of explaining why they weren’t any good together, Kurt had just admitted to having real feelings for her.
“I know we’ve gone on a grand total of two dates—well, three if you count me coming to your classroom as a date,” Kurt continued. “Normally, I’d be the first one to agree that there’s no way two people can know in that short period of time that they’re meant to be together. And maybe for you, that’s the case. All I know is that for me, I’ve spent enough time with you to figure out you’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to go to bed with you in my arms at night and see you there beside me when I open my eyes in the morning. I want to introduce you to my family, and start a family of our own. I want kids, the house with the white picket fence—the whole nine yards. And I want all of that with you. I can’t put into words why you mean so much to me; I just know that you do. Even though it’s going to be hard being married to a Navy SEAL, I vow to spend every chance I get making it all worthwhile. I promise to make you the most important thing in my life… if you let me.”
Melissa stared at the answering machine through eyes blurred with tears.
“I know I’m rambling like a psycho,” Kurt said. “But what I’m really trying to say is that I—”
Melissa leaned closer, desperate to hear the words she was sure were coming when the answering machine suddenly beeped and a tinny voice came out of the speaker saying the tape was full. Stifling a sob, she ripped the small cassette tape out of the answering machine before it could accidentally get erased. Then she squeezed the little piece of plastic to her chest like it was the most valuable thing in the world. Because to her, it was.
“What are you going to do?” Veronica asked softly from beside her.
Melissa looked at her friend to see her own tears mirrored in Veronica’s eyes. “Tell him that I’m never going to walk away from him again. Then demand he finish that last sentence out loud so I can hear those three little words.”
“Thank God,” Veronica breathed. “If not, I was all set to go tell him that you were too stupid to realize what you have right in front of you—and that I’m available.”
Clutching the tape in one hand, Melissa laughingly wiped the tears from her face with the other, then gave Veronica a hug. She scooped up her purse and was halfway to the door before she remembered what time it was. She spun around to look at her friend.
“Crap! It’s the middle of the night. Maybe I should wait until tomorrow.”
Veronica scowled. “You’ve already waited to see him for three weeks. Go now.”
Melissa chewed on her lip, then nodded. “Okay. Wish me luck.”
Her friend laughed. “Like you’re going to need it. I’ll lock up. Call me when you guys come up for air.”
Giving her a wave, Melissa ran out the door and down the steps. Her hands were shaking so badly she could barely unlock the door of her car. She needed to calm down or she was never going to be able to drive over to Kurt’s place. She never thought she’d be grateful they’d almost gotten carjacked on their first date, but if she hadn’t overheard Kurt give his address to the cops that night, she wouldn’t even know where he lived.
Since she was still unfamiliar with the route, she had to concentrate on where she was going. That was actually a good thing because it mean she couldn’t focus too much on what she was going to say to Kurt when she got there. All she knew for sure was that she was going to tell him she was sorry and that she loved him and wanted to be with him, even if he was a SEAL. Everything else besides that was superfluous.
Her heart was racing by the time she pulled into a parking space outside his apartment complex. Now that she was here, all kinds of doubts began to creep in. What if she was mistaken about what Kurt had been going to say?
Taking a deep breath, she picked up her purse and stepped out of the car. The parking lot was deserted, which wasn’t surprising considering it was well after midnight. She hiked her bag up on her shoulder and walked faster. After what happened in that restaurant parking lot a few weeks ago, she was still a little jumpy.
Melissa was halfway across the parking lot when she caught sight of someone coming toward her out of the corner of her eye. She had half a second to wonder if she might be in danger before a man grabbed her arm and clamped a hand over her mouth.
“Well, well, well… look what I found. This must be my lucky day.”
Fear shot through Melissa as she stared into the cold, murderous eyes of the man who’d been the leader of the trio who had jumped her and Kurt outside the restaurant all those weeks ago.
How the hell had he gotten out of jail so fast?
More importantly, what did he want with her?
“I came over here to pay your asshole boyfriend back for the beat down he gave me and my boys,” he said, as if reading her mind. Then he smirked. “But grabbing you is even better revenge.”
Keeping one hand tightly over her mouth, he spun her around and wrapped his other arm around her, then picked her up bodily and carried her across the parking lot. Melissa beat her fists against his arm and kicked her feet, trying to get away. When that didn’t work, she tried scratching him instead. It still didn’t do any good. The next thing she knew, her captor was tossing her in the trunk of an old beater car.
As the lid slammed closed, plunging her into darkness, all she could think of was Kurt. Now he’d never know she loved him, too.