I drove around for several hours before heading to a casino with a hotel attached to it. I checked in to a room and proceeded to drink myself into oblivion. I’d mostly avoided alcohol since the night of the crash, but in that moment I felt like I needed a drink more than I needed my next breath of air. And I drank it like it was water.

When I woke up the next day, it was early afternoon. Food was the last thing on my mind, but I ordered room service. Another bottle of vodka. I didn’t bother with any mixers and drank it straight up. No ice either. My goal was to consume enough to forget, and that’s exactly what I did for several days.

When that wasn’t cutting it for me, I took a shower and headed down to the tables. If alcohol wasn’t enough to numb the pain, then gambling was sure to do it. But my mind wasn’t in the game, and I lost a decent chunk of money. Not that I cared. I felt like it was no less than I deserved. Only then I started winning, and it just pissed me off even more. So I bailed on the casino and headed to one of the clubs where I used to be able to find underground poker games.

It’d been more than eight months since I’d been there, but the doorman was the same and he recognized me. I got a chin lift before he lifted the red rope and let me through. The people waiting in line complained, but it was a perk to having previously been a regular and I sure as shit wasn’t in the mood to apologize for it. I slid a twenty into his palm and walked inside, hitting up the bar and then heading towards the back where another bouncer manned the door that led downstairs to where the poker games were held.

When I reached him, I pulled my wallet from my pocket and retrieved a coin from behind my driver’s license. It’d been given to me several years ago when I’d first discovered the games, and without it you couldn’t get in. The bouncer took it from me and flipped it over, examining both sides before handing it back and opening the door.

I headed down the stairs, downing my double vodka on the way. It didn’t take long for the owner of the club, Grant Michaels, to notice me and stride towards me.

“Dillon Montgomery.” He held out his hand, and I moved my empty glass to my left so I could shake it. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” I grunted. I’d forgotten the rush I felt when I was down here. It was exactly what I needed to take my mind off how fucked up my life was at the moment. I shouldn’t have wasted time at the casino and headed straight here.

“We’re glad to have you back.” His blue eyes scanned my face, and if I hadn’t known what an unfeeling bastard he was I might’ve thought they held a hint of concern. “Were you looking for anything in particular tonight?”

“I was thinking seven card stud or five card draw. High stakes.”

He lifted one dark brow. On him, it was an arrogant gesture. Then again, pretty much everything was. “The latter goes without saying or else you wouldn’t be here.”

That was why he more than had the right to be arrogant. He owned several successful nightclubs in town and ran a poker ring that probably pulled in more money than all of the bars combined. The people who played at his tables had serious money, and they weren’t afraid to risk a lot of it when they were gambling. And Grant didn’t let them do it without taking his cut.

“I think we’ve got a couple of games that might interest you.” He waved over one of his hostesses and instructed her to take me to tables two and four.

She fluttered her eyelashes at him and leaned forward, practically begging him to notice her tits. When he barely glanced at her, her expression fell for a moment before she pulled herself back together and smiled at me seductively. I wasn’t interested, so I gave her a quick shake of my head and gestured for her to lead the way to the tables Grant had mentioned. I didn’t like the feel of the five card draw game and opted to settle in at the seven card stud table instead.

I pulled a stack of thirty one-hundred dollar bills and dropped them onto the table. The dealer slid stacks of chips across to me. I tossed my chips in for the ante. My leg started to bounce while I waited for the hole cards to be dealt. I glued my gaze to the table as she dropped the first round of up cards in front of each of the players. My five of hearts was the lowest value showing, so it was up to me to make the first bet and bring it in. My down cards weren’t much help, but I was in the mood to play dangerously so I went with the full amount of the small bet instead of just the ante again.

“Call,” the player to the left of me said.

“Raise.”

I heard a variation of that from each of the players at the table before it was up to me to meet the raise or fold. I tossed more chips onto the table and waited for the next round of up cards to be dealt. By the time I had seven cards in front of me, there was almost a thousand dollars of my money at stake. It was down to me and a player two seats to my left since everyone else had folded. His up cards were better than mine, but I had the impression that his best ones were showing. If I was right, I’d win the game because my down cards gave me a straight. But if he had two more tens in the hole to go with the pair he had showing, then he’d beat me with four of a kind.

I started to doubt myself when he went with the big bet on the final round. But I was already in deep, so I called. Then I sorted my cards to line up the five which gave me a straight and moved the two dead cards off to the side, face down. Since I was the one to call, my opponent placed their cards face up on the table first. He looked so damn smug when he flashed me his three of a kind that I couldn’t help but chuckle when I tossed my straight on the table. The money didn’t matter to me, but it was always nice to beat someone when they thought for sure that they had you. That hand almost wiped the guy out, and he rolled a couple of chips towards the dealer before collecting what remained and pushing away from the table.

I played a few more hands, losing two and winning another, before Grant settled in the chair next to me. It must have been a signal to everyone else because the dealer and few players who were left all got up to leave. His gaze dropped to the half-full glass of vodka near my right hand. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink when you’re playing.”

He wouldn’t have since I’d never had a drop of alcohol at one of this tables before. “You haven’t.”

“Although the background checks my security team perform on my underground clients include a wealth of personal information, I like to keep things professional.”

That wasn’t much of a surprise. I wasn’t shocked to learn he looked into the people who received a coin to gamble in his place, and I’d already noticed he kept himself separate from pretty much everyone. What I didn’t know was why he was bringing it up. “Okay.”

“It’s a very rare occasion when I’m moved to offer unsolicited advice.”

Fuck. Now I knew where this was headed. “And this is one of those times?”

“Indeed it is.” He raised a tumbler of amber colored liquid to his lips and took a gulp. I mirrored the action with my vodka, figuring I could use the extra fortification. I discovered how right I was when he continued. “We have more in common than you realize. We were both raised in wealthy families. Had every advantage money could give us. Would’ve given it all up if it meant we didn’t lose a sibling in our teens. And we spiraled afterwards. I stood by and watched while you did it. I held back and didn’t interfere, but I was happy as fuck when you stopped coming around because I figured it meant you’d come to terms with your loss. I had my guy check into it and found out you met a girl. Fell in love and moved her into your house, didn’t you?”

I nodded as I shot back the rest of my vodka.

“Then tell me this, Dillon. What the fuck are you doing here when the woman you love is waiting at home for you?”

Shit. When I heard it out loud like that, it was a damn good question. The situation we found ourselves in was fucked up, but it wasn’t Faith’s fault any more than it was mine. Drinking hadn’t helped, and neither had gambling. Only one thing would—getting some answers from my parents.