Chapter 25
The ride back to her townhouse was a silent one, and she was thankful for it. She needed to think; she needed space. He held her hand in his and gently stroked it.
Richard ordered the driver to park the carriage around the back by the mews so that she could sneak in through the servants’ quarters. This was becoming a habit she needed to quickly remedy before she got caught.
“Let’s get you inside, shall we?”
She allowed him to help her off the carriage, and together they walked up to the back door. It was hours past midnight.
When they reached the door, he pulled out something from an inside coat pocket and wedged it into the lock. With a quick twist, as if he’d done this a hundred times, the door unlocked. Curious, she watched him. Where had he learned to do that?
He pulled out something else from his inside coat pocket. “Keep this under your pillow, loaded.” It was the pistol she had given him in the alley. “Go in and lock the door behind you.”
She knew he stood there until she was safety ensconced in her house before she heard the clip-clopping of the carriage driving away. Removing her shoes, she walked past the narrow hallway and passed the kitchen. Hearing the whispers of servants near the servants’ dining room, she slipped into the kitchen and listened.
“Has Miss Knight returned?”
“No,” the maid said. “If ye ask me, no respectable man in his right mind would marry ‘er.” Pause. “There is somethin’ strange going on ‘bout here if ye ask me.”
“Well, I like the lady,” the housekeeper said.
“Of course ye’d say that,” the maid said. “Ye like everybody.”
“Never ye mind. Go to sleep.”
No respectable man would marry her. There was so much truth in that remark. Would Richard have made love to her if he knew she was the daughter of a whore? Would he have agreed to this arrangement? He might have, since the inheritance was a significant sum, but would he respect her? Say the things he had said to her?
She heard the footsteps slowly fade away. She tiptoed upstairs as fast as she could before she was noticed. Instead of going straight to her room, she quietly tiptoed to Kate’s room next to hers. She pressed her ear to the door and listened. It was late, but Kate usually stayed up late. She heard nothing, but faint candlelight spilled under her door. Knocking softly, she pushed the door open slightly. There, she saw Kate sound asleep on her bed holding a parchment in her hand.
Amelia tilted her head to get a better look and saw that it was a letter. She looked closer and saw the name Jonathan. She couldn’t see the rest of his name because Kate’s thumb was in the way. She inched closer but halted when Kate shifted in her bed.
Quietly leaning over, she blew out the candles, one by one. Before the last one went out, Kate shifted, slowly opening her eyes.
“You’re back,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “What time is it?”
“After midnight.” Amelia sat on the edge of the bed. “Go back to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”
Kate observed her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong.” Amelia paused. Everything was wrong.
“You’re lying,” she said. “Don’t you know I can always tell when you are lying to me?”
Kate was right. Before her departure, Amelia had left a note with Kate saying she had some matters to remedy, so she filled in the details about what had transpired tonight, except the kiss. “Lord Blackthorn wants to find a home for the six orphans and a newborn baby.”
Kate raised her brow, sitting up on her bed. “What will you do?”
“What else can I do?”
“Oh, Amelia, you can’t possibly be thinking of keeping them.”
“Lord Blackthorn is looking for relatives or families that are willing to take them in.”
“And if he can’t?”
Amelia knew what she would do. It wasn’t even a question in her mind. She couldn’t think of the poor children in the streets, begging for money or stealing like Millie had and resorting to selling themselves just to feed their hungry bellies. What kind of life would that be?
“That is a lot of responsibility for one person.”
“I cannot abandon these children. They will no doubt end up in the streets.”
“Well, let’s just hope his lordship finds someone before you end up being a mother of seven girls.” Kate pulled the covers off and sat down next to her friend. “You know I will be here to help you in any way I can, but you really need to think this through before you make a decision.”
While Kate didn’t share much of her past with her, Amelia respected that. She had a past also, one that she wasn’t ready to reveal to anyone, not unless she was willing to pay the ultimate price.
Amelia’s eyes drifted to the letter Kate was holding. “Who is it from?”
Kate quickly folded the letter. “Oh, this,” she said and walked over to the small writing table. “It’s nothing.”
All Amelia knew of Kate’s life before she arrived in Scotland three years ago after her husband passed away was that she had inherited a castle from a distant cousin, so she’d moved to Scotland to start over. Kate’s idea of a perfect life was fine dining and hotels.
“Never mind me. You’ve been spending a lot of time with the earl.” Kate smiled widely.
She nodded. “I have. He is . . . a very nice man.”
“Nice?” Kate said, giving her a sideways glance. “Did something happen between you two?”
“Of course not.”
“You’re having feelings for the earl, aren’t you?”
She bit her lip. “Don’t be absurd. I barely know the man.”
“Oh, honey,” Kate said, touching Amelia’s folded hands. “Enjoy it a little. You can’t live your life as a nun.”
The thought was infectious. “Emotions will only complicate things between us in the end, and, in my case, it serves no purpose.”
“Does he have feelings for you?”
“Men like him won’t allow their hearts to dictate their lives. Eventually, all that will matter is an heir and money for his coffer.” Even she knew that was a lie.
“If that’s the case, it should make things quite easy.” Kate watched her. “But that’s not what you want, is it?”
“I want my independence,” she said. “That hasn’t changed.”
“But do you want him?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “He is very clear about leaving London. He does not want to be committed to anyone.”
“Does he still feel that way?”
“Does it really matter?”
She would not be ready to contemplate that idea any time soon.
Blackthorn didn’t leave. He ordered his driver to go home. Donning his thick outer coat, he walked the perimeter of the street to make sure he didn’t see anyone lurking about her townhouse. Then, from across the street, he watched Amelia’s window. The flickering light in the room stayed lit for no more than thirty minutes before she snuffed it. He was compelled to sneak into her room and slip under the covers with her, but he needed to think and clear his head.
He knew very well he would leave this woman when the time came. There was no doubt about that. The goal had always been the same, and he didn’t like the power she had over him.
This lust and hunger for this woman was nothing he had ever felt for anyone.
Yet, he knew he would leave her. He never had trouble leaving. Actually, he was very good at it.
He needed a damn drink.
Yes, that sounded awfully good right now.