CHAPTER 20
GIGI’S PAIN AND GUILT FOUND a shocked mirror in the hard frown that creased Roman’s face. Neither of them deserved to suffer another second of it. Not when they could erase it all and start again with a better understanding of each other.
“I give zero fucks whose fault it is. We’re both letting it go.” Gigi had never meant those words more than now. They were starting over. This second. There was no need to drag blame in it.
Roman shook his head and opened his mouth as if he might argue but she cut him off. “I want that afternoon back, with the Chinese food and just us, shut up in here, making love and figuring out what it is to be us. Not to get stuck in this thing that tarnished our start.”
Lowering his lips to hers, he took her soft and sweet. A kiss that was more apology when she wanted passion. Conviction burned inside of her, fanning the flame of her rising desire for him—desire that had been building since that right hook downstairs and amplified by each soothing stroke of his hands. Patience had never been one of her virtues. She leaned into him, deepening that kiss, chasing his tenderness with her own raw need. She hooked her free hand into his waistband, her thumb toying with the button. He groaned against her lips and she opened to him.
Roman’s hands moved over her body until both found her ass. He used his hold to lift her up, sitting her on the counter. She knocked over the forgotten mug. Hot coffee spilled across the counter.
He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. The rumble of his rich laughter made her thighs tingle. He spread her knees and pushed the skirt up her thighs. His thumbs traced tiny circles moving further up the inside with each pass. “We’re pretty damn good at making a mess, beautiful.”
“Love’s messy. Don’t let it stop you. I’m not anymore.” Her heart thundered in her chest. Those words—they were the closest she’d ever been to admitting her own feelings. Adrenaline spiked through her, like she was about to cliff dive instead of verbalizing her emotions. Giving her body to the one man who could break her—who nearly had—seemed easy in comparison. She’d never been this alive or turned on in her life.
Roman’s laughter died as what she said seemed to register past his lust. “Are you trying to tell me something?” He slid those magic hands under her skirt and worked her tiny lace thong—black layered over pink satin—down her thighs. “I don’t need the words. I know.”
Slipping them over her calves, he worked the silky fabric past her one remaining shoe. Caught up in Roman, she had forgotten all about the awkward balance. She shifted to toe it off, but he held her ankle still and shook his head. He stepped back, letting her panties fall, forgotten on the floor. His golden eyes didn’t leave hers as he reached into his jacket pocket for her matching hot pink shoe. As he stroked her calf, he slid the missing pump back where it belonged. “You have no idea the filthy images those heels inspire.”
Gigi pushed Roman’s jacket down his arms. He allowed it to drop to the floor with her panties. The color it revealed made her groan and her body flush with a new surge of heat.
It would be so easy to play along and talk dirty right back. It’s what she would have done with any other man. Roman was uncharted territory and deserved more. There would be plenty of time for those kinds of words later. “I’ve never said it before.”
“I know.” He reached over his head and pulled his t-shirt off by the scruff of his neck, revealing still more color.
For a moment, all that temptation stole her words. She reached out, laying one manicured nail on his chest to trace the red-filigreed lock shaped like a heart. It lay over his sternum in a bed of roses, the matched piece to the swallow on his neck that flew carrying the key. He painted his past on his skin to speak for him. She would have to use actual words. “I want to.”
He waited, not pushing or drawing it out of her as he had every other confession she’d made to him along their twisted path into this relationship. This had to be all her. “I have rules.”
It was a strange place to start, but she needed him to know the full magnitude of this—how she didn’t take this lightly. This was her making a commitment. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he slowly worked his way down the buttons of her blouse. His fingers tattooed an invisible trail one exposed inch at a time as he worked his sensual distraction. It somehow made the words easier to say.
“I don’t sleep with people at work, I don’t screw with people who matter to the few people I care about, and I don’t do feelings.” Roman counted each off with a kiss along her collarbone.
Gigi swallowed hard as his thumbs found her nipples through the lace of her bra—the abrasive pink material she’d worn just to tease him, scraping her sensitized peaks. Finding her voice despite the building pressure in her sex, she continued, “There are others, but those are the ones I let you break.” She pulled his face up level with her own so that she could focus on the warm amber of his eyes. “I love you, so I let you. I fell so hard that you became the one thing I can’t hide from.”
Roman moved his hands from her breasts to frame her face, again mirroring her. “I loved you almost from the moment I met you.”
Under the intense scrutiny of his gaze, Gigi smiled like the shy virgin she hadn’t been since she was eighteen. Her bare ass squirmed on the wet stone counter. “I never believed that kind of fantasy happened. But you defy all my careful rules.”
“We can make new rules together. And you can hide as much as you need. I’ll always find you.”
“Can we start with Kinky Wednesdays? I’ve gotten a certain fantasy stuck in my head involving you and my frilly apron.” She waggled her eyebrows as she gave him her best suggestive smile.
Roman’s shoulders shook with his laughter. Damn—she loved the rich sound of it. The reward of his joy gave her a new kind of pleasure that went beyond the carnal that she always sought out. She could become just as addicted to that feeling as she had the other.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but why wait for Wednesday when I could do it for you now?”
“Right now, I want something else.”
Gigi slid down off the counter, and shimmied out of her rucked-up skirt, then dropped her blouse and bra to the growing pile of discarded clothes. In nothing but the pink heels he found so sexy and the mark of his ink on her skin, she felt like a pinup goddess as she sauntered toward her bedroom. His hot gaze warmed her naked skin. For the first time, she felt like more than an object. She’d always believed there was power in that but no—this love that went under the surface held the real power.
Leaning against the doorframe to her bedroom, Gigi smiled back at Roman. He stood where she left him. A half-naked statue come to life and he loved her—just her. “You should order the takeout for delivery. It’s early yet and you’ll need to regain your strength.”
His face lit up with what she hoped was wicked intent. “Beautiful, I plan to keep you too busy to do much more than answer the door, but I hear it’s great the morning after.”