I couldn’t stop myself from shaking as Daniel and I stood on the terrace discussing our eminent kiss. I had mixed emotions. I wanted to kiss him, but he was so precious and pure and wonderful that I hardly knew where to begin.
Both of us were struggling to catch our breath, and all we were doing was standing there, looking at each other.
"Are you cold?" he asked, pulling me a little closer. I shook my head as I stared up at him.
"You're shaking."
"I can't help it," I said.
Daniel left one hand around my waist, and with the other, he reached up, touching the hair near my temple. "You're perfect," he whispered.
I smiled. "No, I'm not. Far from it."
He moved his hand, cupping the side of my face and letting his thumb touch my lip. I turned to the side so that I could kiss his thumb, placing an open-mouthed kiss right on the tip of it. I watched him watch me do it. He stared right at the place where his thumb met my lips.
"Oh my gosh, Courtney," he said. He held the side of my face and stared longingly at me as if I was something truly precious—almost as if I was breakable. The truth was, I felt breakable.
"Daniel," I whispered. "I'm going to kiss your lips, okay?"
He regarded me seriously as he gave me a slight nod. "Okay," he said.
I slowly brought my hands to his face again, and as I stretched upward to kiss him, he leaned down to let his lips fall on mine with complete and utter tenderness. My knees went weak and I melted in his arms the instant we made contact. His lips were as soft and pure as I imagined they would be. I let out a whimper and then kissed him again softly, two, three, four times. His lips were perfect and untouched, and I was out-of-my-head with desire for him.
I broke the kiss, and I started to say something about how he had no business worrying about his inexperience, but he denied me by shaking his head to tell me he wasn't finished. This caused an instant crashing wave of anticipation to hit me, and without hesitation, I stretched up to kiss him again. This time, I took his bottom lip into my mouth. The warmth of his open mouth was too much for me. I let out another whimpering sound just before I opened my mouth to him.
And Daniel Bishop kissed me deeply.
He kept one hand around my waist and wrapped the other one around the back of my head pulling me close and kissing me like we had done it a thousand times. It was a good thing he was holding onto me because I could hardly stand on my own. In those glorious seconds, Daniel held me tightly and kissed me passionately like I was his and he was mine and nothing would ever come between us.
I didn't know how much time had passed when Daniel finally broke the kiss and pulled back. Both of us were struggling to regulate our breathing more than ever, and we grinned at each other.
"There's no way you've never done that before," I said.
He smiled. "You must be a good teacher."
I let my fingertips roam along the side of his head through his hair and then along the side of is face. "Do you promise that was the first time you ever did that?" I asked. I still felt like it couldn't possibly be true.
He let out a little laugh. "Yes," he said. "I promise. Gabby Anderson kissed me at summer camp one time, but I was sleeping, and when I woke up I—"
Daniel stopped talking when I closed my eyes and shook my head, telling him I didn't want to hear anymore about Gabby Anderson. "Please don’t make me hate some poor girl I don't even know. Just tell me that was the first time."
"It was the first time," Daniel said seriously.
Both of us held onto each other.
"You're still shaking," he said, rubbing my arms and using friction to warm me up. "Are you sure you're not cold?"
"I promise I'm not cold," I said. "But we can go inside if you want."
Daniel and I went inside and made ourselves comfortable on the couch in the living room. We turned on the television, but neither of us paid attention to it. Instead, we talked. He told me more about his family, his parents, siblings, cousins, and grandparents. He alluded to Owen's accident again, but again, he didn't tell me that he had been the one responsible for it.
He told me more about his job at Alpha, and we laughed at some of the misadventures he had with the guys who were just starting to train. His uncle Gray, who was also his boss and mentor, had a brother named Kevin Kennedy who was a famous comedian. Kevin had a successful sitcom in the early nineties, and Daniel's cousin, Shelby, had starred on it when she was younger. I remembered meeting her years ago at an awards show, and we marveled at what a small world it was.
Daniel was curious about my time on the road, and I told him stories of experiences I had in other countries and in various cities in the U.S. We laughed and talked for hours that night, and I had it in my mind that I was going to kiss him again, but Denise came in from her night out, foiling my plans. She sat up with us for a little while, telling us about her night on the town, before we all decided that it was time to get some rest.
I replayed and overanalyzed everything Daniel and I had said to each other when I was trying to fall asleep. It had been such a long day that was so full of action and conversation that it was difficult for me to remember everything—I kept thinking of details I had forgotten.
Every time I closed my eyes, I could picture our kiss on the rooftop. It was still so real to me that it gave me butterflies, causing me to smile and shift around in my bed even though I was completely alone in my room.
I thought about the way I told Daniel that he didn’t have to promise me anything, and I already regretted it. I wanted promises from him, and I was mad at myself for assuring him I didn't need them. It truly made me sad that Daniel didn't think he deserved to find love, and I convinced myself that I would be the one to eventually change his mind.
***
We had gone to bed late, so I didn't wake up until almost 10 the following morning. Normally, I might stay in bed for a half-hour just being lazy and thinking about what I had to do that day, but I was so excited to see Daniel that I hopped up after only a couple of minutes.
I stepped into my slippers and walked into the living room with a smile on my face. My heart sank when I realized that Daniel and Denise weren't alone. They were sitting at the table with Trevor.
I blinked, thinking I might be seeing things. "Heyyyy," I said, trying my best not to act disappointed.
Trevor stood up and came toward me the instant he noticed me. His arms were outstretched, and he was wearing a huge grin. "I'm alive!" he said.
"Yayyy!" I said, doing my best to act genuinely excited.
We walked toward each other, and I gave him a relieved hug. "What happened?" I asked. "How'd you get here so quick?"
"They gave me steroids and antibiotics, and now I feel like a new man. They released me last night, and I got on a flight this morning. I just pulled up a few minutes ago."
Daniel and Denise were still sitting at the table, and Trevor and I walked over there to join them as we talked. I glanced at Daniel, half expecting him to do something crazy like freak out and tell Trevor he was fired, but he just sat there like everything was normal. I made a little face at him that I hoped neither Denise nor Trevor noticed.
I approached the table, and Daniel reached out to pull out a chair for me. It was the one next to him, which made me feel slightly less heartbroken.
"Thank you," I said.
"I'll get your coffee," Denise said, standing as soon as I took a seat.
"You don't have to. I'll get up and get it in a minute."
"It's fine, I don't mind," Denise said.
She busied herself in the kitchen, and Trevor took a seat across from me at the table. I looked at him with a sigh and a smile, doing my best to seem excited. "I'm so happy you feel better," I said. That was the truth, so I knew it came across as sincere.
"I can't believe you got the boss man over here filling in for me," Trevor said, nudging his chin at Daniel. "I thought he was allergic to leaving Memphis."
Daniel smiled and shrugged. "I took some Claritin," he said, causing Trevor to laugh.
"Seriously though, thanks," Trevor said, leaning over the table to give Daniel a sincere hi-five-type maneuver.
"No worries," Daniel said, returning the gesture. "I enjoyed it."
I felt sick to my stomach. I was glad to see Trevor and was happy he was feeling better, but I knew it meant Daniel would be leaving, and the thought of it made me physically sick.
"Denise was telling me that all you have is a phone interview today," Trevor said, regarding me.
I nodded. "Yep. Then sound check at four."
"Daniel told me you drug him all over the city yesterday," Trevor said, kicking back and putting his hands behind his head in a totally relaxed pose. "I guess that means you're gonna want to take it easy today."
"Yep," I said.
I glanced at Daniel who shook his head almost imperceptibly at me. Trevor must have noticed that I was a little annoyed because he spoke up when he saw the way I looked at Daniel.
"He didn't say you drug him around," Trevor explained. "I was just kidding about that. I asked him what you guys did, and he told me some of the highlights."
"I bet he didn't tell you everything," I said, feeling hurt, stubborn, and brave.
I stared at Daniel who regarded me with an unreadable expression.
"What'd you leave out?" Trevor asked curiously.
"I don't know," Daniel said innocently. "I thought I covered just about everything.
"Did you tell him we sang If You're Happy and You Know It at the diner with Peanut?"
Trevor's eyebrows rose as he gave me a perplexed expression like he had no idea what that sentence meant.
"I might have left that out," Daniel said. "I forgot about that part."
I squinted at Daniel like I was mad at him for saying he forgot any of it, and he smiled at me and give me a little confident shake of the head.
"Did you tell him you taught me Jiu-Jitsu?" I asked challengingly.
Right when I asked the question, Denise set a mug of coffee in front of me, so I turned to her and said, "Thank you. Could you possibly get me a bottled water and that peppermint oil?"
Denise gave me a quick nod and took off toward her room.
"He taught you Jiu-Jitsu?" Trevor asked. He sounded and looked astonished, and Daniel grinned at him and shook his head.
"I showed her a cross-choke," he explained.
"Oh, that's good," Trevor said, nodding with an approving smile.
"I was really good at it," I said. "I choked him on the first try."
I held my coffee mug close to my chest and breathed in the smell of it, but I didn't take a sip—I was too nauseated for that.
Trevor laughed. "You better not train her too much or she won't need us anymore."
Denise brought me the bottled water and peppermint oil, and I set my coffee down so I could add a drop to it just like Daniel taught me.
"What's that?" Trevor asked.
"Daniel bought it for her," Denise said, sitting down with us. "He said it would help her ulcer." She glanced at me with a look of concern. "I have your prescription in my room if you need it."
"You're knocking it out of the park," Trevor said, teasing Daniel. "Training Jiu-Jitsu… bringing her medicine… I better be careful not to get sick again."
He was only kidding, of course, so we all laughed.
"I still don't understand what you're saying about being happy at a diner, though."
"Peanut," I said. I took a sip of my peppermint water, praying that it worked on heartache as well. "We ate at a diner yesterday, and we had a waiter who made us sing. We sang, If You're Happy and You Know It, and the whole place was clapping and stomping."
Trevor shook his head, looking at Daniel. "You're brave, letting her sing in public. Stuff like that sets people going crazy and calling their friends."
"It wasn't like that," I said. "No one knew who I was. I just sat on the stool and sang along with everybody else."
Trevor smiled and continued to shake his head at us like we were brave, crazy, or both. "Sounds like y'all had fun," he said. He reached across the table to shake Daniel's hand again. "Thanks again, brother. I really appreciate you filling in for me."
"It really wasn't a problem," Daniel said.
He glanced at me. He still wore an unreadable expression. I knew he wasn't happy about leaving me, but I was frustrated that he wasn't doing anything about it. I wanted him to turn over the table in anger and refuse to go anywhere.
I took another sip of the peppermint water, reminding myself that was ridiculous and I should be happy to see Trevor.