Ash gave me a quick kiss before pulling me with him into the kitchen.
He poured two glasses of water and handed me one. He drank his within seconds and set the empty glass on the counter.
"You were thirsty," I said.
He nodded. "I always get thirsty after I play."
I could see why. He wasn't running a triathlon, but he had to talk to about a hundred people afterward, and he put a ton of energy into his performances. I was honestly still speechless about his playing. I wanted to pour my heart out to him, tell him how deeply he made me feel, how his performance somehow changed me. But all I could do was stand there quietly.
"Wanna sit by the pond?" he asked.
I nodded, and Ash took me by the hand, pulling me across the kitchen and out through the sliding glass door. I had been over to his place several times at night, but I was always amazed at how beautiful the courtyard was when it was dark out. The Fosters hadn't cut any corners with the landscaping and lighting, and it created an enchanted atmosphere. Seeing it made me think of the Fosters.
"It was nice meeting your landlords," I said.
They had been at the benefit, and they made a point of coming up to us after the performance.
"Mandy's been waiting to meet you," Ash said. "She takes the credit for me finding you, ya know."
That must have meant that she knew Ash was seeing me, which meant that Ash had been the one to tell her. It made my heart swell as I wondered what they had said, but again, I felt too shy to say anything. I never normally felt like this with Ash, but the evening had been such an eye-opener on so many levels that I was still processing everything.
I didn't expect his playing to affect me this way.
I honestly felt like the cat got my tongue.
"Are you okay?" Ash asked, noticing my quietness.
We sat on the edge of the upper pond, and I adjusted my dress before I looked up at him. He searched my face as if trying to see if something was wrong.
"I'm so sorry that Fiona was there," he said. "If I would have known that she—"
He stopped speaking when I put my hand on his leg, shaking my head, and closing my eyes, telling him he had it all wrong. I opened my eyes, regarding him, and trying to decide what I could say that could possibly let him know what I was feeling.
"That's not it at all," I said softly. "I'm not saying I enjoyed having her come up to me, but it certainly didn't ruin my evening."
"Good," he said.
I felt a tinge of jealousy rise up at the mention of her, but I pushed it out of my head, knowing it had no place in this moment.
"My evening was perfect," I said. "I forgot all about her the second you told me how you felt about me." I took a breath. "I'm quiet, Ash, because I'm overwhelmed with happiness and…" I sighed, not feeling like words could adequately explain what was in my heart. "…thankfulness, and I don't know, love." I touched my hand to my chest as I stared at him sincerely. "I had an overwhelmingly amazing night, Ash. If I'm being quiet, it's because I'm stunned."
His mouth turned upward in a slow smile, and I took a deep, hitching breath at the sight of it. It was apparent to both of us that we were sharing a moment, but it was impossible to ignore the splashing sounds coming from the pond. The longer we sat there, the louder they got.
"They're not going to leave us alone, are they?" he asked, speaking of the fish.
I shook my head, not taking my eyes off his.
"They're hungry enough to bite my fingers off!" he said, grinning as he repeated the phrase we heard Matt say every time we fed the fish with Sidney's class.
I let out a laugh at that, glancing at the fish for a second before looking back at Ash. They were certain they were about to get fed… incessantly vying for a spot at the top of the pond. I knew one of us would get up to get the food. But before that happened, I wanted to say more to him. I wasn't finished telling him how I felt.
"Ash, I don't know what to say. Your playing… the way you coaxed that wooden box into making those sounds… it was… I was… it changed me, Ash. It made me see you in a new way… made me see music in a new way. I loved you before, but seeing you up there, doing that made me… I don't know. It was magical. I want to be in your world."
"You already are," he said.
I stared into his eyes, trying desperately to prove how earnest I was. "I will never, ever, ask you to quit playing, or even play less," I said. "That is so obviously what you were created for, Ash. Asking you to stop doing it would be like asking you not to breathe."
He took a deep breath like my analogy reminded him to do so. I watched his chest rise and fall. "I wasn't kidding, Abigail, when I said if I had to choose, I'd choose you."
"You don't have to," I said, shaking my head instantly. "You'll never have to do that. You have a gift, Ash. I'm excited at the thought of being some small part of it with you. I want to support you in any way I can." I paused before continuing. "That song you wrote for me..."
"Did you like it?" he asked.
I felt tears sting my eyes at the thought of trying to explain to him how very special it was to me. I smiled and blinked to hold back the tears. "Ash, I loved it. I loved it so much. I cried the entire time you played. I'm thirsty, too, but it's from crying so much."
He let out a little laugh, and I reached out and touched his face, trying my best to ignore the fish who were growing more and more impatient by the moment.
"Seriously, Ash. I never, in a million years, dreamed you would do that. It was the best gift anyone's ever given me."
"I'm gonna write you a thousand more," he said.
I nodded. "Please do," I said. "I'm so mad at myself for not recording it tonight. I didn't even think about getting out my phone, and now I'm kicking myself over it. I would've listened to it a hundred more times tonight before I go to bed."
"That would take hours," he said with an easy grin.
"Maybe fifty," I said. "I'd definitely have it on repeat. I'm so mad at myself for not doing it. The other songs you played tonight, I can search on Spotify and find something similar, but not my song. I missed my chance. I really hope you play it again."
"Sure," he said. "I'd love to. It makes me happy that you like it."
"When?" I asked feeling excited about the way he said "sure".
He shrugged. "Now."
I glanced at the house. "Now, now?"
He nodded, smiling at my shocked expression.
"You just played a whole concert," I said.
He casually shrugged a shoulder. "That was an hour," he said. "I could play for an hour with my eyes closed."
"You did play with your eyes closed."
"I could do it standing on my head."
"That would be a spectacle," I said.
"Yeah, I wouldn't enjoy that," he said, shaking his head. "I could probably do it, but it wouldn't be very much fun."
I glanced toward the house. "Will you really play it again for me?"
He leaned forward and ducked, gently placing his mouth next to my neck. He kissed me gently. He was so close that I could smell him. His clean, masculine smell mixed with the smell of sweat from the excursion of his performance. It was possibly the most amazing smell ever. I wanted to bury my head in his neck so that it would rub off on me.
"I'll play it as many times as you like," he whispered near my neck, causing chills to race down my spine. I took a shuddering breath, and he kissed me gently. I reached out and took hold of his shirtsleeve, closing my fist around it, and right then, one of the fish, Monty or Casper, I couldn’t be sure, splashed so violently that water came out of the pond and landed directly on my dress. I knew it was one of those two because they were always at the top of the pack.
"They can't stand it," I said, speaking softly to Ash without giving the fish the time of day.
"They're jealous," he said.
"Of you or me?" I asked.
"Both. Either. They just want us to look at them… give them food."
I shook my head, leaving it there, burying it next to his neck as I breathed in his scent. "We should throw in a ham sandwich so they'll leave us alone," I said.
Ash shook his head. The movement caused his face to shift against mine, which was pretty much the best thing ever.
"Why not?" I protested. "It'll get them to leave us alone." I didn't want to leave this spot. I didn't want to stop smelling him—feeling his gentle touch.
"My pond girl would be mad at me if we did that," he said. "She specifically said 'no ham sandwiches'."
I groaned. "She doesn't know what she's talking about."
"Oh, but she does. She's the best. Really smart. Beautiful, too."
"Sounds like you like her," I said.
"I do," he said. "I love her."
And with that, he kissed me one more time before standing and pulling me up with him. He began tugging me toward the house, looking over his shoulder at the fish.
"You guys are gonna have to wait five minutes," he said.
"What if I ask you to play it a hundred times?" I asked.
He looked at the fish again with a completely serious expression. "You guys are gonna have to wait three hundred and thirty minutes," he said.
"Maybe I can just record it with my phone," I offered. "You can play it once, and I can listen to the other ninety-nine on my own."
Ash's cello was still in its box from when he unloaded it after the concert. I watched him go through the process of taking it out. He set it on a stand before taking off his vest and draping it over a nearby chair. He partially untucked his shirt, stretching as if those small adjustments made all the difference in his comfort. His collar was open, and his tie was still hanging loosely around his neck. He was, hands down, the best-looking man on earth. And he was mine.
He sat in his chair and tightened his bowstrings.
"I know we've been kidding around or whatever, but I seriously want to record it, if you don't mind."
He nodded. "I assumed you were," he said, his posture straight and prepared as if he was waiting on me. I quickly dug in my purse, fishing around for my phone. Within seconds, I was poised to record, leaning against the back of his couch for support.
I nodded at him, and he began.
That first note got me again. The sound was even more overwhelming in his living room than it was in the ballroom. The deep, sultry notes reverberated in the room and shook my chest, cutting right to my core. I began crying instantly.
I shivered and could barely hold the phone still. It was all I could do to keep myself from sobbing and whimpering. It wasn't just a song for me, it was about me. Again, it sounded swimmy and dreamy to my ears—it was the essence of the feelings I'd been having during last month—smooth and natural. It put me in a trance.
I watched Ash with my eyes instead of on the screen, and I was relatively sure my arm sagged a little, putting him in the top corner of the video—if he was in it at all. A couple of times, I remembered that I was videoing, and I'd adjust the camera, but mostly I just stared at him and cried.