Chapter Seven
Heart pattering with excitement, Livvy raised her camera just as the puffy bird landed on the branch, worm in mouth to feed its young. Then bam! Ryan walked in front of her lens.
She groaned, and he looked over at her, eyes dark and assessing as if expecting to find her bleeding.
“I’m fine,” she snapped.
“You sound like it.”
“Well, walking through the woods with you is just as nerve-wracking as it was in Afghanistan. You keep shielding me with your big body, making it impossible to get good photographs. That’s the second time you walked in front of my lens and now I have two photos of your big, muscled side and denim shirt.”
He tossed her a twist of his lips.
“I have no idea how to read that. Is it a smile? Or are you grimacing?”
“You think my side’s big and muscled?”
She blinked and stumbled to a stop. He paused too, and they looked at each other.
“You know it is, you arrogant man.” Another groan left her, but she couldn’t stop a smile from spreading over her lips. He might be irritating but he was damn hot and he freakin’ knew it. A dangerous combination.
As if she hadn’t already been aching for him the last half mile of their hike, now he was full-out smiling at her. Shouldering the deer and as much food as he could carry, he was rugged as hell.
“Oh, stop it already. Why don’t you move a few steps ahead so I can get some good photos?”
“I can’t watch you if you’re behind me,” he said, low.
“I don’t need watching. I’m quite capable of navigating these woods and what’s going to happen if I’m three steps behind? Oh yeah. I might get a decent shot.” She held up her camera on her palm and he grunted.
“Fine. Why don’t you catch up with me at the homesteaders’ when you’re ready?” He took off in long strides.
Now she felt bad. She was supposed to be focused on helping someone and here she was agonizing over what shots she’d missed.
She had to admit, she had some great ones of Ryan’s body, though.
She hurried to catch up. He glanced down at her and she gave him the side eye. “Are you tired? I can take the bag.”
“It doesn’t weigh more than my gear did.”
That image shot into her mind—Ryan, grim-faced, huge and laden with ammo, pack and God knew what else. Their love story had started in a faraway land and now it had—
She stumbled. Not their love story—hers. He hadn’t given any indication he wanted her other than in his bed. Yet here she was having daydreams of staying with him on the mountain, of waking each day to work alongside him in order to survive.
Silly, she told herself. A man like Ryan wasn’t going to be tied down easily, if at all. Her unrequited love would have to live on in her mind alone and somehow, she had to find a way to walk away when the time came.
For now, she focused on placing her feet in the right spot so she didn’t go sprawling again.
Ryan gestured ahead to where Freckles trotted along an unseen path. “Pretty sure you’re right that he came from that other homestead. He seems to know his way.”
“He does.”
He swung his gaze to her, detecting her strange tone of voice. “You okay? Want to stay back and take photos? Can I carry something for you?”
At that, she laughed. “You’re packing a hundred fifty pounds of deer and what—ten of food? Plus that ax weighs a ton. And your boots alone weigh about ten pounds apiece. My thigh muscles would be screaming in those things.”
Was that a quirk of his lips she was seeing? She looked closer but it was gone as fast as it’d appeared.
“Deer’s small. Can’t be more than one-thirty.”
She wagged her head in a la-dee-da way and continued on. Through the trees, she spotted a dark shape. A wall.
“I think that’s it,” she said, pointing.
A long, rolling dog bark sounded and Freckles shot off with some answering barks.
Livvy and Ryan exchanged glances before walking up on the homestead.
At first sight, Livvy’s stomach hollowed out. These poor people. When Aiden said they needed help, it was a severe understatement. Compared to Ryan’s place, this looked like a slum. The cabin seemed to have only two sturdy walls. One was tilted in frighteningly and the other was nothing more than a tarp nailed down. The roof wasn’t in better shape and the family that lived there must be wet all season long.
“My God.” Ryan’s voice was gritty.
“How did they survive a winter let alone most of a spring?”
“No damn clue.” He stomped into the yard like them not coming to him for help was a personal affront. “Hello!”
From around the corner, a man stepped out, gun in hand. When he saw Ryan and Livvy, he lowered it. Then the flap of the tarp wall opened and a woman stepped out of the cabin followed by three little ones. All boys, each as thin and pale as the next. They looked like they were freezing, even wearing layers upon layers of clothing and despite the spring thaw.
Ryan bent and let the deer slide off his shoulders. “Heard you could use a hand.”
The man’s face blanked and then reddened with a blush that looked more painful than Livvy’s usually felt. Immediately, she sympathized with the man.
“I’m Ryan Stone. I live out that way.” He pointed the direction they’d come. “And this is Livvy.”
The homesteader dropped his gaze to the camera resting on her chest.
“I’m a photographer,” she said. “But I won’t take any photos without your permission.” She turned to the woman and children. “Hi. What’s your name?” The boys told her their names—Callen, Max and Colby. She shook each of their cold hands and tried not to wince at their icy fingers. This family had no heat.
Even if they had it, all of the heat would escape.
She smiled warmly at the mother and held out her hand. “Aiden Roshannon mentioned you could use some help. I hope you don’t mind us barging in.”
The woman shook her head, tears of relief hanging in her eyelashes. “Not at all. We welcome you. My name’s Lynn Hostler.”
She listened to the woman’s tale of how they’d followed their dream to live off grid. They’d managed to get through the winter without too much trouble but then food had run out and they’d invested all their money in animals and supplies.
Ryan sliced a look at Livvy, and she moved toward him to take the cloth bag. “I hope you can use some vegetables. We had a few extra.”
The kids grabbed the bag and tore it open, obviously starving. Livvy’s heart broke a little more. She’d seen hunger a lot in the third-world countries she’d traveled to, but it never got any easier. And this family had resources but no idea how to make the most of them.
The man gave his name as Chad. Ryan clasped his hand hard and pumped it. “Good to meet you, man. Can I look around your place?”
The man dipped his head in agreement, or embarrassment, Livvy didn’t know, and the pair took off as men did.
The oldest boy Callen nudged his mother’s arm. “We can get the deer hanging and finish skinnin’ it.”
“Yes, why don’t you do that, Callen?” She nodded to the other boys to get to work.
Livvy eyed the woman and then rested a hand on her arm. “We mean no disrespect.”
“None taken. People have pride, but I’ve long since lost mine. We can use some help, and Chad’ll agree once he stops being grouchy. Why don’t you come inside? You’ve had a long hike carrying all that stuff.” She pushed open the tarp flap to review a small dank space. “It’s not much but you’ll find a place to get off your feet.”
Livvy had sat in Native American tents and shacks in Bolivia. But she’d never seen such sadness as there was around her right now. A dream, never realized.
“I can offer you some water to drink if you’d like.” Lynn looked anxious.
Livvy held up a hand. “I’ve got my canteen but thank you. I don’t need anything. Why don’t you tell me where you came from?”
Ten minutes later, she knew Lynn’s sad story about moving from the big city, where the streets were filled with gangs and guns and she and Chad had wanted more for their sons. They’d traveled up the mountain with pack horses, built their cabin from supplies scavenged from the mountain and then the snow had hit.
“Early,” Lynn said. “Guess we should have guessed the weather’d be unpredictable, but we were caught short-handed and did what we could.” She waved at the tarp serving as one wall. “The last heavy snow collapsed the wall but we were able to save the roof. Then the snow was so high that we couldn’t get out to find wood. And well, I fear Chad’s lost heart. He could have fixed the wall at first thaw but…”
She trailed off, looking at her hands.
“Lynn,” Livvy said gently. “Do you want to continue on here? Or do you want to move off the mountain? There are nice villages in the valley. Small towns where crime’s not such a problem.”
Lynn’s gaze shot to hers. “I want to stay. We all do. Even the boys love it here, though I think they miss having friends to talk to. That’s why when the pups came along—”
Livvy sat up straighter on the rustic stool. “You mean Freckles is from a litter your dog had?”
Lynn’s brows drew down. “Freckles?”
“Yes, a puppy turned up at Ryan’s place.”
First Lynn sucked in a gasp and then issued a laugh until her shoulders shook. “That naughty pup! He’s kept my boys up at night wondering if he’s dead or alive. Each time he wanders off, we think we’ll never see him again and then he shows up. We figured he was getting fed somewhere, with that fat belly.”
With a smile, Livvy nodded. “Do you have a name for the pup?”
“Boys call him Samson after the Bible story but what did you call him again? Freckles. It fits much better.”
“How many puppies were in the litter?”
Lynn’s mouth curved down again. “Six in total but he was the only survivor. See, the cold… We weren’t thinking about the weather claiming so many of our animals.”
After talking a while longer, Livvy found out that half of their pigs had died and all their chickens, claimed by the frigid temps and high snowfall here on the mountain. Without proper shelter for the animals, they’d lose them all when autumn hit.
She made a mental list of things this family needed right now—better shelter, pens for their animals and the start of a garden. But all of this would take work and money. She could offer her own funds and she was certain Ryan had some stowed away as well, knowing his miserly ways to reuse. But it was doubtful the Hostlers’ pride would allow that. It only stretched so far.
Which meant raising some money would help. Livvy had seen enough organizations and missions helping people that sudden inspiration struck.
“Lynn, would you mind if I take some photos of your homestead and maybe of you and your children?”
“I don’t mind, but I’ll have to get Chad’s take on it first.”
“Of course.”
After the guys returned, Chad agreed and Ryan gave her an approving lift of his brow, which meant Livvy’s plan was underway. That familiar excited thrill hit her stomach as she cradled her camera in her hands—and started shooting for a cause.
* * * * *
As Ryan raised the ax again to split another log, he tossed Chad a look. It was time to get some answers—and lay out the real ultimatum here. A man’s pride couldn’t keep his family from the basic things they needed to survive, if that was what was happening.
“So I hear you’re an artist.”
“Uh… yeah. Woodcarving mostly. Some knife-making, that is if I have supplies for a smithy.”
“And you made a living this way before coming here?”
He raised a shoulder and let it fall, whether shrugging off the question or stretching his stiff muscles. “Not really. It was more of a side job, but the extra money helped us leave everything behind and move here.” He concentrated on chopping for several more minutes before speaking again.
“I don’t know how things got so mixed up. We figured after a few months here, we’d know how to work the land to survive. We read so much, studied other homesteaders’ stories…” He shook his head. “It ain’t as easy as we thought.”
“No, it’s not.” Ryan filled the silence by splitting more logs. “What about the kids’ schooling and stuff?”
“Ah, Lynn’s a schoolteacher. She makes them sit down with their studies daily. They’re actually further advanced than other kids their age.”
“That happens with one-on-one instruction, I s’pose,” Ryan said. He paused in his task and stared at the man. “Look, you guys won’t survive another season up here this way.”
Chad’s throat worked. “Damn, I know it.”
“So if you want to stay, we have work to do—hard work. You need water, for one. A better shelter. I think your cabin can be salvaged, if we just shore up that roof and add a solid wall. I’d like to actually extend the roof too, because the overhang will provide a place to keep your wood dry and a place for an outside stove. I have a feeling that little stove in your cabin isn’t doing much and is probably smokier than you’d like too. Am I right?” Ryan had seen the smallest of vent pipes protruding from the back of the cabin.
Chad nodded. The man was listening, at least. Following a dream wasn’t a bad thing, but he needed to follow instruction if he wanted to survive here with his family.
“We also need some good shelters for your animals. You’re in a great spot here with access to the lower prairies where your animals can forage. Similar to my set-up. You can fatten the animals to sell and then buy more, as well as other supplies.”
Chad nodded. “Those sound like good ideas. I appreciate it.” He paused. “What about the things I create? I could sell those as well.”
“Definitely. Lots of tourists come to these parts and I’m sure finding things crafted by a local artist is something right up their alley. But do you have anything to sell right now that could raise funds to kickstart our plan?”
He shook his head. “Been so busy trying to survive. Hunting, chopping wood… I haven’t had time. And I need good pieces of wood to start with. These pines,” he set his ax point into a log, “aren’t right for what I do.”
Ryan nodded. “So we need to set you up a little better in that department as well.”
Chad dropped his head and rubbed his nape.
“Look,” Ryan said softly, “I want to see you succeed up here. I’m willing to help and putting aside your pride is the only way. Sometimes as men, we need to drop the pride in order to fight another day. Are you willing to do that?”
Raising his head, Chad gave a hard nod of affirmation. Then he stuck out his hand and Ryan grasped it. With things settled, they continued working for a while longer before taking a break to drink some water.
When Ryan walked into the yard to see Livvy, his heart gave a tug. How the woman had gotten the entire Hostler family wrapped around her little finger in such a short time was beyond Ryan. He watched her playing with the boys, a game she’d been taught in the streets of Kosovo, she said, by some urchins who’d ‘been out to take her money.’
And the whole Hostler family had stood back while she pushed herself into their world and photographed everything from their poor source of water and their pitiful outhouse to their smiling faces after they’d stuffed themselves on some extra rabbit Ryan and Livvy had brought with them, along with potatoes and carrots.
Ryan didn’t totally understand what she had up her sleeve with that camera of hers, but he sensed the wheels of her mind turning each time she looked around. All she’d said was she planned to use the pictures for good.
Hope filled her eyes, and all he could think of was kissing the woman. Kissing her until she was clinging to him for more.
With Chad, Ryan discussed some ideas for improvements that would get them by but not for long. Chad admitted he wasn’t a great shot with a rifle, which was why he was struggling to feed his family, so they spent some time on target practice.
In the end, Ryan was at a loss for what to do to help out more. He could chop wood till his arms turned to jelly but any heat they’d get into their cabin would be lost through that flimsy tarp wall.
One of the boys cried out in victory, overtaking Livvy’s king in the strange variation of checkers she’d created, played with rocks on a game board scratched in the dirt with a stick. They also munched on hard candy she’d brought.
Ryan’s heart grew warm. She was great with kids. She deserved to settle down with someone and have a brood of her own.
But that wasn’t him.
The fact it couldn’t be him stung like he’d chopped off a limb and dumped an entire bottle of antiseptic on the raw wound. He was a realist—had gone to war knowing what could happen to him and it had.
So he knew damn well what was going to happen when she left. His life would be so empty. So… alone.
Wasn’t that what he’d wanted out of life when he came to the mountain? A few days with a sweet, soft, sassy woman around had flipped his world upside down just as fast as that grenade had.
He glanced at her neck. She had a scarf knotted there, but back at his place, she’d been unperturbed when he’d looked at the scar. In fact, she’d given him a look of challenge, almost daring him to say something.
What could he say? She was brave—braver than him. She’d ventured out into the world, continued on with her life after that incident in Afghanistan, and he’d turned inward and hidden from the world.
The dogs took off barking at the edge of the clearing and then Roshannon appeared on horseback, ducking under branches and then drawing the horse to a stop. The little boys jumped up from the game with Livvy and cheered a greeting. Obviously, Aiden had visited them before.
They rushed forward, and he slid from his saddle. Ryan got up from his crouch, taking a second to stretch his stiff leg before he was able to get it solidly beneath him. As he approached his friend, Aiden tossed him a grin and a nod. Ryan knew he was gloating over Ryan getting off his side of the mountain and out of his own head and socializing.
Livvy crowded next to his side, and he couldn’t stop himself from slipping an arm around her and drawing her into him. The feel of her warm curves spread more than desire through him.
If there ever was a woman who could make it up here with him, it was Livvy. A regular bush woman, who knew everything from how to skin rabbits to games to entertaining small boys, she came with skills. And she didn’t seem to mind living without electricity or bath water she didn’t have to boil.
Aiden started stripping supplies off the horse. Foodstuffs, blankets, an ax sharpener and several more tarps as well as dog and pig feed.
The family thanked him profusely, and Chad was back to burning up with a blush at receiving help, though he took it with grace. When Aiden faced Ryan, they clasped hands and bro-hugged. Livvy looked on, smiling. He wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t snapped a picture or two of the moment, knowing her. But he didn’t care either.
“What do you say about getting more of these tarps up on your cabin until we can do something more permanent?” Aiden suggested to Chad.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea. I’ll get my hammer and nails.”
Aiden started to follow, but Livvy caught his arm. Surprise flitted over his face, and Ryan zeroed in on what was happening.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” she asked Aiden.
Ryan moved closer.
“Sure thing. What’s on your mind?”
She cupped her camera in both hands and leaned closer to speak quietly. Ryan drew into the circle to hear. “I have an idea about how to help the Hostlers. They can make it if we get them squared away up here and teach them how to continue on their own. It’s their dream to stay on the mountain. But to start, we need more than a few supplies, though you guys have been so generous.” She looked to Aiden and then Ryan.
He opened his mouth to say it had been her generosity as well, but then again, the supplies belonged to him. She was his guest and had no say in what he did with his things. So why did it feel like she belonged with him and should share in everything he had?
“I took a lot of photos. I’d like you to take them into town and see what you can do about displaying them, to newspapers or on fliers, maybe even TV if you could swing it. To start a fund to assist people who need help like the Hostlers, helping them get what they need to get on their feet while they learn what it takes to survive up here. And not only homesteaders like them. I’m sure they’re not the only ones struggling in these parts and many people could use weatherproofing of their homes or new windows, help with bills in town even.”
She shrugged as both men just stared at her.
Aiden shot Ryan a look. “She’s damn smart. How’d she get involved with you?”
“Hell if I know.” His rumbled reply sounded much gruffer than he felt. Inside, his chest was melting with warmth at her ideas and the fact that Aiden believed she’d actually stay with him.
He wasn’t so certain of that, but he would enjoy the moment for now. Later the doubts and fears would creep in.
“On the thumb drive are other photos you might be able to sell to get the fund kicked off.”
“Photos you were taking earlier of the views?” Aiden asked.
She nodded. “There are some that will be worth something if put into the right hands. I’ll give you a name and number of someone who could help you with that.”
“I’d be happy to help. And this trust fund is something my family will get involved in. It’s right up my brothers’ and parents’ alleys.” Aiden reached out and hugged Livvy then pocketed the thumb drive.
Livvy embraced him back but her gaze was set squarely on Ryan. The happiness in her eyes blazed a path through his body, not to his groin but straight to his heart.
Today he’d learned a lot about humanity and himself. That extending aid to people again felt so good. He wasn’t as selfish as he’d thought and was glad to help the Hostlers. Even happy to see his old friend Aiden.
Also, he wasn’t as introverted as he’d believed or maybe once had been.
And he realized he was totally freakin’ in love with Livvy.