Chapter 16

Ryn

 

 

When I was released from the infirmary, I didn’t have anything but a sports bra and under, a temperature control suit, and a bag of travel size-toiletries.

When I emerged from the shower, ready to rinse out my under things and think about asking Alex where the nearest Target was and possibly a loan since I had no idea where my wallet was or if there was anything left in my bank account.

But when I got out of the shower, the first thing I saw was a pale pink toothbrush and a soft bristle hairbrush next to it on the sink.

My eyes trailed from the sink to the clothing store bags on the ground. Slowly I approached the first bag, not even bothering to dry off fully.

Pulling out a plastic package I found new under things, socks, and even tennis shoes. The next bag had a few pairs of jeans and some plain t-shirts, the next with different snack items.

I didn’t know where they came from, but I had an idea and hoped that certain someone was back from coffee so I could properly thank him and tell him to take half of it back. I didn’t need this much and didn’t know how I’d pay unless it was a loan until I got a new job or something.

Quickly I brushed my teeth and hair, putting the long, wet strands in a bun before opening the new undergarments putting them on then my temperature control suit. The other clothes would have to wait, but it had been so long since I’d worn shoes. The baby blue sneakers practically had me salivating. Not that I had a shoe fetish. I was taken wearing Payless black heels, but never saw them or any other shoes for that matter for months.

My heels were cracked and brittle, my ankles swollen and tender as I slowly put my socks on then dipped my toes into the shoes.

They were a little tight, and I had to loosen the laces to get my feet in, but once they were, I let out a deep breath, staring at my shoe-clad feet. That was when the tears came in big sobs. The enormity of where I’d been and that I had no idea where I was going had been bottled up while I was in Monte’s arms, but seeing my swollen feet in shoes for the first time in months, opened the flood gates.

“Kathryn? Are you okay in there?” A female voice called, knocking on the door.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just getting dressed,” I called quickly wiping my tears then opening the door.

A wide-eyed Alex stood there, with her hand still up to knock again. “Oh. Sorry. I thought I heard crying and wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to interrupt you, but breakfast was getting cold.”

“Breakfast? Did Monte cook?” I asked, following her to the living room where she had a few containers set out of different pastries and two steaming Styrofoam cups.

“Monte? Cook?” Alex snorted, sitting on the couch and I took the seat next to her.

I nodded. “Yes. He’s actually a pretty good cook.”

“Wow,” Alex said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “First he sends an intern to Target for clothes, now the cooking. Next, you’ll tell me that he asked you to connect with him and I’m sitting next to Mrs. Monte.”

I blinked, sure I couldn’t be hearing her right. “When you say connect..?”

She grabbed a donut, breaking it in half. “You know, as us humans call it sex. Caltians call it that because on Calta when two Caltians do the deed it’s them connecting in marriage. They usually have a public ceremony I guess which is really freaking weird, but not here. I had no idea about any of this until Ace and I were together over a year, engaged, and I just thought ‘hey! I’m a horny virgin who wants to hump my alien fiancé, but he doesn’t want to’. Then that all came out. Now we’ve connected in the human and alien way and keep connecting, but you know, it’s all just for fun after that first time, and it’s always been behind closed doors. No public ceremony for us.”

She laughed, stuffing the donut in her mouth.

I sucked in a breath. What she said didn’t sound real, yet it all made sense at the same time. He did ask me to connect and kept asking if I was sure. I thought it was just alien speak for sex, but even I had to admit, with him it was more. It was if we really connected our body, mind, and soul as he said. Yet anger and confusion boiled inside of me. Why didn’t he tell me any of this?

“Are you okay, Kathryn? You’re getting that far off look again,” Alex questioned, her mouth still full.

I blinked a few times and grabbed a donut for something to hold onto. “We’ve, um, already connected, as you call it. I guess I’m Mrs. Monte, hell I don’t even know his last name. I’m like a country song,” I said with a laugh even though there was no humor to it.

Alex coughed loudly, banging on her chest wide-eyed before taking a sip of her coffee.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She swallowed hard. “You and Monte…seriously?”

I nodded, looking down at my knees. I was ashamed when they’d caught us on the hologram message in heavy petting, but now that I felt the judgment that Alex knew we did more, bile rose in my throat. When I was with Monte none of this felt wrong. We were in our own little bubble. Now that bubble had burst and reality set in: I had sex and now was alien married.

As if my connection to Monte was deeper than I thought before I could open my mouth to say something to Alex, the door to his apartment opened. He and Ace entered, laughing and holding two Styrofoam cups.

“Monte,” I said in the firmest tone I could, standing up from the couch.

Monte’s eyes met mine, widening as recognition must have dawned on him.

“Ryn told you too, huh?” Ace asked from behind Monte.

“Yeah, and pretty sure she didn’t know what you and I know, which means these two probably need to talk,” Alex said, grabbing her coffee and crossing the room to the door.

“We’ll see you for the briefing?” Ace asked to Monte’s back, but Monte didn’t turn around, his gaze still on me as he nodded.

“Okay. See you later too, Ryn,” Ace said with a wave before him, and Alex left, the closing of the door echoing through the room.

Monte and I just stared at each other for who knows how long before he cleared his throat. “Did you get the new clothes? I didn’t know your exact size, but an intern helped.”

“Monte…why didn’t you tell me what connecting meant?” I said in a small voice, trying to keep my gaze on his but for the first time, I felt disappointment in my hero who saved me from hell.

“Ryn…I know I should have probably told you what that meant for a Caltian, but it doesn’t always mean the same on earth.”

“Does it in our case?” I asked, sucking in a breath.

“It will once I get the paperwork sent electronically, and I sign it,” he said.

I didn’t think my eyes could widen anymore. “Why, Monte? Is this some sort of control thing? You don’t need to do this. I would have stayed with you without sex…”

Tears pricked my eyes as a memory came to me in full force.

 

 “Please,” I begged the gravelly voiced man, on my knees in the dirty hovel wearing a sparkling black bra and thong.

“Don’t make me go out there. You don’t have to do this. No injections. No dancing. Tell your boss I’m sick. Look at me! I am!” I swiped my hands over my body now covered in half-way healing bruises and needle marks.

I thought maybe the man had a bit of a soft spot for me since he always gave me extra water and was gentle. Even when he smiled and put his hand on my face, I thought I was okay.

Then his smile turned into a sneer, and he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me to a standing position.

“You’re not in control here, human. Do you hear me?”

I whimpered, my breath catching in my throat.

“Say it, bitch. Say I’m in control.”

My lips wouldn’t move other than to tremble, tears wanting to fall but they just stayed on the brink as the man dragged me out of the room for another day in Hell.

 

“Ryn! Ryn!” Monte’s  voice sounded so far away, my eyes barely able to focus on him.

I blinked a few times, feeling tears cloud my eyes and cheeks. I swiped them away, Monte’s handsome face finally coming into focus.

I realized I was on the couch, cradled in his arms while he held me close, trying to console me out of my flashback nightmares.

“I shouldn’t have connected with you without telling you, I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered, swiping his thumb against my wet cheeks.

“But I wanted it, too. Like you said…” I took his hand and interlocked our fingers. “Body.”

His eyes met mine, bringing our hands to his head. “Mind.”

“And soul,” I whispered, putting our hands to his chest, feeling his heart beating against my palm.

“Ryn, I want you in all of those ways, believe me. And I wanted to make sure you were taken care if anything happens to me tomorrow.”

I shook my head. “Don’t talk like that, Monte. You’ve done this hundreds of times. You’re going to be okay.”

“But if I’m not…”

I shook my head again. “You’re going to be.”

He sighed. “Ryn, as my wife, human or Caltian, you’re privy to everything going on during and after the mission. You can be in the control room with Ace and Alex and have contact with me at any time. If you need me, I’ll be there, and if I’m not…” he sucked in a breath. “Diamonds on Calta are like rocks on earth, all of us who come to this planet are very wealthy. And that doesn’t include my package from the Caltian Infantry or Circe’s severance. All of that goes to you if anything happens to me.”

“Then since nothing’s going to happen to you, I guess we’ll have to share that. Maybe when you come back from your mission, we’ll talk about all of that. Maybe me getting my own place, or a room here at least.”

“Why would I want you to do that?” Monte asked.

I shrugged the best I could in his arms.

He put his hand to my chin. “As long as I’m breathing, you will be sharing my bed with me. It’s not a control thing; it’s because I like the connection with you. I want you around, for as long as you’ll have me. For better or for worse, isn’t that what you humans say?”

I smirked. “I didn’t even get a ring and a white dress.”

“Do you want those things? If you do and want this legally binding, human and Caltian, I can call the chaplain right now.”

I shook my head. “That’s crazy, Monte. I know the connection happened, but we…we just met.”

“We may have just met physically, but that first meeting was all it took for me to feel your soul. I knew the moment I first saw you that there was something different. I’ve never gone off script during a mission. I go in, do what I have to do, and leave. But when I saw you in that room, I knew there was no way I could leave you. I think my heart knew you were mine before the rest of me even realized it.”

“That may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” I whispered, tracing the line of his jaw with my finger.

“Get used to it, wifey, there’s more of that coming,” he said with a grin.

“For better or for worse?” I whispered, leaning forward to his waiting mouth.

“For better or for always,” he replied before his mouth was on mine, and our hands and bodies said the words that we didn’t say out loud, but I knew I felt it. We were connected. We were in love.