“Aunt Cass, look!” Annie hopped over to me in her little pink Chucks, her brown pigtails flying around as we walked through the quaint boutique. She was holding a white rubber duck that had a unicorn horn with a rainbow mane and tale.

I scooped my best friend’s daughter up into my arms. “Well, isn’t that the cutest ducky in the whole wide world,” I exclaimed.

Emily shuffled up to us with summer dresses slung over her arm and a few shoe boxes cradled in the other. Her messy bun was falling out and hair wisped down into her eyes. “Help, Cass! I’m being attacked!”

I rushed to her aid, throwing her hair back up on top of her head, securing it with the tie and pushing her sunglasses up more to help keep her brunette locks in check. “Better?”

“Thanks. I’m gonna try these on. Annie, be good for Aunt Cass.”

I gave the seven-year-old a squeeze. “What should we name this little lady?” I asked, pointing to the toy rubber duck still in her hands.

A woman with a baby cradled in her arms smiled at us. Her husband was standing next to her with a motorcycle club’s cut over his flannel shirt.

“Hey, Raine, isn’t that a Miss Gilda?” the biker asked before kissing the petite woman’s cheek.

She nodded and then sweetly said to Annie and me, “I had one of those when I was a little girl. She was my favorite. Her name is Miss Gilda, and I still have mine after all these years.”

Annie bounced a little in my arms, holding the duck high in the air. “Miss Gilda is awesome!”

I giggled a little. “Thanks, you just made her day.”

“It’s a small world for sure. I haven’t seen one of those in years.” The woman shot me a tight smile as she grabbed her husband’s hand to walk out of the store.

After Emily decided nothing in the store was going to work for her and I bought Annie her very own Miss Gilda, we decided to head to the pizza place at the other end of the mall for lunch.

I was halfway through my second slice of pepperoni heaven when my heart stopped. My jaw hit the floor, and I dropped the pizza onto my plate, blinking rapidly. There was no way I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. I was staring at the man standing with the young couple I had just spoken with in the store in complete disbelief.

“Cass?” Emily shook my shoulder a little bit. “Cassidy? Are you ok? What is it?”

I turned to look at her. My entire body prickled with heat, and it took me a few seconds to spit the words out. “I think Ryan Axston is standing over by the bar.”

She put her hand on mine. “Honey, I have no idea who the heck you are talking about.”

“H-He was…ma-my first,” I stammered.

Her eyes grew ten times bigger as she followed my gaze over to the man I didn’t know anymore, the man who’d changed my life, the man I’d never thought I would see again. “He’s handsome,” she declared quickly.

“Of all the things to say, that’s what you go with?” I scoffed, shoving her shoulder playfully.

I glanced back over to where he had been standing and jumped in my seat when I saw him walking over to me. His eyes were locked with mine, his deep onyx irises boring holes into my soul as he strode closer and closer to us.

“Annie, how about we go get some ice cream?” Emily grabbed her daughter’s hand after gathering up their shopping bags.

“Yeah! Ice cream!” Annie’s elation radiated from her as she hopped off her seat.

“Good luck,” Emily whispered before rushing away from our table, towing her daughter by the hand.

“Wait, don’t…” I tried to stop her, but she was already opening the door to exit.

My best friend had abandoned me as my first love crashed back into my life. Fucking great. I rolled my eyes while running my fingers through my long hair.

Deep breaths.

Stay calm.

He’s ancient history.

“Cass?” Ryan sank down into the seat across from me.

I sat there like an idiot staring at his long beard and hair, his gray whiskers making him look far older than he actually was. He was wearing a black baseball cap, a white t-shirt, a leather cut that matched that of the other guy’s he was with, jeans, and cowboy boots. Other than the hair and cut, he looked just like the old Ryan. Well, he did have sleeves of tattoos now, but I’d always known that was inevitable.

I could tell the years hadn’t been kind to him, but there he was sitting at the damn table across from me, and I was paralyzed. I had played this moment over and over in my mind for years, praying that Ryan Axston would swoop in and become my knight in shining armor, but I had come to the realization that was a naïve notion…or was it?

He cleared his throat. “How have you been?” he finally spit out after tearing up a brown napkin with nervous hands.

“Ryan Axston, as I live and breathe. How long has it been?” I let the words come out as nonchalantly as possible. Slowly, I let my eyes meet his. It was a terrible idea. Eye contact was my weakness with him; it got me every damn time, and I had to sit on my hands to hide how badly they were shaking.

“A little over ten years, I reckon. I’ve been around for a bit, just haven’t felt like seeking people out.”

His words stung all the way down to my core. “You’ve been back in Killeen?” I asked.

He nodded. “Well, more like close by. I’ve been dealing with some demons for a while. Didn’t feel right coming back to these parts until it was all settled for the most part.”

The couple and their baby came up to the table. “Ax? Everything all right?” the man asked.

Ryan looked up to his friends. “Raine, Ryder, this is Cassidy Lewis. She and I go way back. She knew me before I was even a jarhead.”

“It’s nice to actually meet you.” Raine beamed over at me with a toothy grin as she lay her sleeping baby down in the stroller.

I waved. “Nice to meet y’all.” Shoving away from the table, I gathered my shopping bags. “I should really go find my friend. I drove her and we need to get the little one home.”

Ryan shot up to his feet, seizing my left hand with his. He stared down at my ring finger, thumbing the diamond that decorated it. “Have dinner with me.”

I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea, Ryan.”

His eyes were locked on mine as he worked his jaw. I knew he wasn’t going to take the rejection to his demand lightly. “It’s one meal. Please, Cass. For old time’s sake.”

“Go see Nate. He’s the one you should be trying to patch things up with,” I bit back, sharply pulling my hand away from his.

Ryder nodded at Ryan knowingly. “See ya at church later, Ax.”

Ryder and Raine said goodbye to us before walking away, pushing their baby’s stroller together. They were seriously a damn adorable couple, and focusing on them helped pull me away from the smoldering stare I could so easily get lost in.

Kevin. Remember Kevin.

My fiancé’s face flashed into the back of my mind. One look at Ryan and the love my life was an afterthought. Not good, Cass. Not good at all.

“Ryan…I can’t. We can’t.” I turned to walk away. I could hear his boots hurriedly stomping behind me.

“You know I don’t take no for an answer, Cass.” His low voice came from behind me as I stopped dead in my tracks. “It’s only dinner—what could it hurt?”

Whipping around, I threw my hand in the air, planting it firmly on his chest. I needed to show him I had grown a backbone since I was seventeen. Looking up into his dark eyes, I fought to stay firm in my resolve. “Maybe it’s time you learned that you don’t always get what you want in life, Axston—I sure had to when you never wrote back to me.” I threw the words at him, yelling loudly as he stood there gaping at me. The entire restaurant was staring at that point.

He rubbed the back of his neck before narrowing his gaze as he rubbed the back of his neck. I could see all the things he wanted to say swimming in his eyes, but he just turned and headed for the back door. It felt just like the last time we had seen each other ten years before.

“Cass, I can’t. I made a promise.” Ryan wrapped his arms around my shoulders as I started to cry into his hard chest.

“I just don’t know why you didn’t tell me you had signed your life away. How could you after what just happened to your brother? What would Cameron have thought?” I blubbered into his shirt as he pulled me in tighter, my mascara leaving black stains on the white cotton.

“I didn’t want the last few weeks I had at home to be ruined by everyone being worried about me and trying to talk me out of it.” His voice was muffled as he spoke with his lips pressed against the top of my head.

We sat on the tailgate of his truck in silence as my heart shattered into a million pieces. I had finally gotten the courage to have real feelings for Ryan, and there he was telling me he was leaving for training in less than twelve hours.

“I’ll wait for you,” I whimpered.

Tucking me into his side, Ryan leaned down to kiss me. “I can’t ask that of you.”

I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “You’re not asking me to. I want to.”

“Let’s just take this one day at a time, all right? I can’t leave you like Cam left all of us.”

I could hear his sadness in his tone, could feel his heartbreak as his chest puffed out a bit and he sucked in a sharp breath.

“I love you.” I heard myself say the words, but I couldn’t believe they had left my lips. I hadn’t realized until that moment how true they were. I truly, deeply loved him.

“Cass, I love you too. I am so sorry this is something I have to do.” He sniffled a little. “If you truly love me, you’ll understand.”

* * *

“I think you should have dinner with him.” Emily sank down onto the couch next to me after handing me a glass of wine.

After taking a long sip, I looked over to her. “How could anything good come of that, in any way?”

She checked a text. “Sorry, Fletch is just letting me know he’s running late.” She put her hand on my forearm. “Because the moment you saw him, your heart started beating again.”

I pointed down at my engagement ring. “I’m getting married in two months. Kevin, my fiancé—ring any bells?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “You mean the second-round draft pick?”

It wasn’t a shock that Emily was giving me a hard time about Kevin. She’d never thought we made a good couple. Just because he had a tech job and was a little bit of a geek, everyone thought he was a wet blanket. “Kevin is a great guy, and he takes really good care of me.”

“He’s so boring!” she complained. “Like tonight, where is he?”

“He’s at home working on new coding software,” I answered.

“Do you even know what the hell that means?”

I shook my head.

“And what are we doing?” She held her glass in the air.

“We’re drinking and having dinner together.” I chewed on my lip.

“Look, Cass, I love you and I want you to be happy. I support you marrying Mr. Snoozefest if that is seriously what you want, but I also think you need some closure with Ryan before you can truly know you can commit to Kevin. You owe that to yourself.”

“I’ll think about it.”