He watched her so closely that it set every nerve on edge. Every red flag waved in front of her, a warning to tread carefully, cautiously. She tried to act normal through dinner, even got a few snide comments and laughs in.
But they felt forced.
And by the time dinner was over, she was worn out.
She hadn’t really fooled him.
“I think I’d like to go up and shower, maybe hit the hay for the night.” Malcolm’s searching eyes found hers, and she looked away, surprising even herself. “Thank you for dinner.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Malcolm said, almost too calmly.
“I’m sorry,” she said, as an unexpected flood of uncertainty washed through her. He wouldn’t let her take any responsibility for what had happened this past week. Even though it had totally been all her fault.
“The doctor said you’d feel off”—he cleared his throat—“emotionally for a little while. Please don’t apologize, either.”
She bit her lip. She was getting everything wrong.
Malcolm got up and cleared their plates. Her sweet Malcolm. Her knight in shining…flannel.
Even after all she’d done, all she’d been responsible for, he’d been there for her.
It was why the direction of her thoughts scared her so damn much. She sat on this precipice, unable to move forward. She wasn’t sure she could go back.
Not to Hawk Elite.
“You just going to stand there all night?”
Marie sucked in a breath and let it out with a little laugh. “Malcolm. I didn’t hear you.”
He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, digging in a little with those magic hands. She couldn’t help but moan at how good it felt, and then she leaned back. She didn’t have to make a decision right this minute.
Gently, he led her upstairs and helped her get into her sweats. He pulled her hair back at the nape of her neck and braided it down her back.
“You’re too good to me, Malcolm.”
“I think I’ll be the judge of that,” he said, pulling back the covers so she could lie down.
When he tried to tuck her in, she took the comforter and lifted it. “Come to bed.”
Those eyes filled with worry again.
“I promise to be good.”
“You need rest.”
“I rest best with you.” And it was true.
It was going to make staying behind so much harder.
He took off his shirt and dropped it to the floor and then climbed in next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her against his solid body. She breathed deeply, wanting to remember his scent and the feel of him. And then she found herself listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.
“I can’t go back with you,” she whispered, because in this moment, she wanted no secrets between them.
He sighed. “I know.”
She turned her face up to him and scowled. “You do not.”
His grin had her heart stuttering. And then he kissed her, slowly and tenderly, gently, because he was one of the good ones.
Marie rolled to face him and found purchase at his waist, gripping him almost desperately. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t,” he said. “Don’t apologize for doing what you have to do.”
“I wish things could be different.”
Malcolm kissed her down the length of her neck. “I’m not really going to give you up so easily, Marie. So as much time as you need, you can take, but eventually, one of two things is going to happen.”
She rolled him to his back and climbed up to lie flat against his front. “Long distance is never a good idea. I won’t make you keep this up from across the country.”
“In case you didn’t notice,” he said as his hands roamed over her, flattening against her back and pressing against her spine, “no one makes me do anything.”
“Maybe that’s one of the things I like about you.”
“Good. Then it won’t pain you to know when the time comes, I’ll fucking come get you, Marie. One way or another, this is never going to be over between us. I promise you.”
His words weren’t meant to strike fear.
But how could she tie him to the morals of a thief, to a woman who would dare split his loyalties? If she loved him, wouldn’t she follow him back to Raleigh? Work things out once she got there? She should be ecstatic he loved her…
But she was afraid. Afraid of messing up again.
“Stop thinking about it,” he said, touching her cheek, drawing her attention away from those thoughts.
She ran her fingernails up his abdomen and flicked his nipple before placing a warm kiss over his heart. She let her hands explore the scar over his chest. He’d almost died in the attack at Hawk Elite. He could have died three days ago as well.
How many lives did he have left?
Would her mistakes eventually use them up? Could she give up her way of life out here on the coast with her uncle?
Yes.
Holy shit, the word came to her head—strong and clear. No second-guessing, no doubts. She was done running scams, heisting gold or jewels or what-the-fuck-ever caught her eye and made her need to hold on.
This time when she kissed him back, the smallest glimmer of hope burned deep inside her heart. It took over every touch, every thought. Marie clambered to get closer so they were skin to skin, then kicked off her sweats and tore her tank over her head.
Malcolm hesitated for a moment.
“I’m fine, Malcolm, and you better touch me right now, because I need you—” Her voice broke. “I need you to love me tonight. I need you on top of me, weighing me down, holding me captive beneath your body.”
He pulled her down and tasted her lips and moaned against her mouth as his body tightened with need. And then he gave her everything she asked for, rolling her over and crushing her to her tiny bed so she would never be able to sleep there again without thinking of him, without wanting him with her.
He braced himself over her and leaned back, pulling her underwear with him. His hands came back up her legs, tracing desire into her skin. She lifted her hips, inviting and begging. He leaned down and kissed around her navel and down to the juncture of her thighs. Always with a warmth breath, always making her need grow.
When he got up, she groaned in protest.
But he merely removed his boxers and got back into bed.
She circled his neck with her arms, pulled him back down on top of her, and grinned.
“I’ve missed your hands.”
“I’ve missed your face,” he responded, humbling her a little.
And then he sank into her.
But it was different this time. He watched her, gauged her, and the lovemaking turned into a slow, steady pulse instead of the harsh pounding they’d created before. And her orgasm rose so slowly that she wondered if she would come at all.
Malcolm kept at her, though—even as his own climax sent him flying over that edge, he came back to her, touching her, caressing her, loving her up and over the summit.
It wasn’t a crash, but a slow and easy slip into blessed relief as she dozed off with Malcolm’s arms around her.
***
“Uncle Bert, get out of your garden,” Marie yelled from the back porch four days later. “You’re supposed to be resting!”
Malcolm looked up from his coffee cup at the kitchen table with a smile.
Today was the day.
It was time for him to go back to Hawk Elite.
Marie marched through the kitchen. “Talk to him, Malcolm.”
He grunted, making Marie scowl and throw her hands in the air.
“I’m running to the store.”
His heart pounded when she said those words, because it was the moment he’d been waiting for. “Hey, kiss me before you go, babe.”
She rolled her eyes.
Because he’d been her shadow for days, and even though he knew she wouldn’t be happy he was gone, perhaps a part of him knew she needed the space.
Her hands ran through his hair as she leaned into him and kissed him good.
She squeezed his shoulder before she kept going.
“Drive safely,” he called out.
“Yeah, yeah,” she replied.
She didn’t need the distraction of having him around; that much was obvious. He wanted her. With a fucking aching need, he wanted to ask her to marry him or live with him or whatever it was she wanted to do with him. He didn’t even care.
But he wanted her in his life at her own choice.
She knew what it meant to be with him.
She understood his lifestyle with Hawk Elite. Sometimes, they would be separated.
He believed she could handle anything. She was no Heather. God no. She was generous and giving and selfless. And scared of living up to expectations set by…
Hawk Elite? Probably.
Him? Okay. Maybe. He’d been harsh with her at first. But no more.
After she’d left, he finished his letter to Marie. He’d see her again soon. He had plans for them. Making them a reality might mean taking a few risks, but he figured his Marie was up to the task.
He signed his name at the bottom then folded the paper in thirds and tucked it into his back pocket. He went for his bag, and nerves settled in his gut. What if she couldn’t come back to Hawk?
Then you’ll have a partner you don’t work with, asshole. Big deal.
“Right,” he said to himself with false confidence, and picked up the bag. He tossed it into the back of the car as the door on the front porch opened and closed.
“You’re just going to leave?” Bert kept his voice low.
Malcolm slipped the letter from his back pocket and handed it over. “No. I’m leaving her this.” He second-guessed himself before continuing, “And I’ll be back.”
“She’ll be sad.”
“She’ll be mad,” Malcolm corrected.
Bert snorted a laugh. “True. But she’ll really be sad.”
He nodded. “She’s got my phone number.”
“She is scared.”
“I know.”
“Then why the hell are you leaving?”
“So she can sort through what she wants without distraction.” Malcolm opened his car door. “To stay here. To come back across the country. To give up thieving—”
“She’s never been a thief,” Bert said indignantly.
“To find confidence in herself again. She is scared,” Malcolm agreed. “She thinks she’s responsible for the bad things that have happened.” Malcolm rubbed a hand across his mouth and swallowed hard. “Tell her for me: she’s not. I love her, and I’ll be waiting for her.”
He didn’t wait then, as a funny feeling got stuck in his throat.
In the rearview mirror, he saw Bert salute him with the piece of paper.
***
“He left?”
Uncle Bert handed over a folded piece of paper. “He said you’d be mad.”
“Fucking A,” she said, as her hand fisted on the paper. She’d let weakness take over, doubt, uncertainty…and she’d avoided saying “I love you” since they were at the hospital. “Only a stupid-ass see-ya-later?”
She tried to maintain the madness, but she was a big, fat fraidy-cat, because more than anything…she didn’t want to lose him. She’d lost before. She wasn’t sure she could do it again.
A tear slipped out, and then another. But she took a deep breath and stemmed the flow. She had things to do here, a life to reconnect to, and people who loved her—right here. She was needed here. Had she ever really belonged with Hawk Elite?
Straightening her shoulders, she turned to Uncle Bert and glanced around the kitchen she’d grown up in. “How are you feeling this morning, uncle? Would you like something to eat?”
Her uncle had little enough time left in the world. She hadn’t forgotten. Damn the armband and its ridiculous legends. Uncle Bert was dying, and he didn’t need to spend it with a pathetic, broken-hearted, confused woman.
Marie tucked the precious note into the pocket of her skirt.
“Not too hungry,” Uncle Bert said with a shrug. “Let’s take a walk instead. Out to the cliffs, like old times.” He held out his thin, frail hand.
She took it…
…and held on for dear life.