The Gossip Mill
at Central Cafe
by Floyd Wilkie
“Want a cup of coffee to go?” Muriel asks me as she tops off my mug. I’m almost finished with my breakfast, but she knows I love my coffee.
“Sure, darlin’,” I tell her as I scoop the last spoonful of grits in my mouth. I’d asked her to add some cheddar cheese to them today because I was in the mood for something a little different.
Someone comes in the diner door, and I only know this because Muriel’s eyes lift to look over my head. She gives a warm smile and says, “Booths are all full, but there’s some space up here at the counter.”
When a body plops down next to me, I swivel my head to see Lynette Carnes on the stool to my right.
“Hey, Floyd,” she says and then turns to Muriel. “Can I get a coffee to go, Muriel?”
Without waiting for me to even offer a greeting back, she turns to me and says, “You hear about Gill’s teeth?”
“What?” I ask in confusion. Know who Gill is—a real jackass in my opinion—but no clue what she’s yammering about. Lynette’s nothing but a whirlwind of gossip. Some days, I’m interested. Others, I’m not.
I definitely don’t care about Gill’s teeth.
“Apparently, Lowe punched him a few times in the mouth,” Lynette says. Why she ain’t telling this to Kiki Shepard, who is sitting on her other side, is beyond me as they’re about the same age and have the same shallow dispositions.
“Huh,” is all I say as I pick up my last slice of bacon.
“Anyway, Gill told his wife, who told Sissy, who told Sarah, that Gill said he was going to sue Lowe for his dental bill,” she says in one breath and then sucks some oxygen back in.
Gill had it coming to him, and I’m about to tell her that, when she rolls right over me by saying, “Say… you know that tooty-fruity guy who Lowe was defending that night, right? The one who’s friends with that New York bitty who has come to town and is hanging all over Lowe? I mean, please… like she’d ever be able to keep someone like him. I hope she enjoys it because everyone knows that Lowe—”
“He’s not a tooty-fruity,” I interrupt with a calm voice that gets her to stop her yammering.
“Excuse me?” she says as she pulls her chin in and looks at me with affront.
“He’s a nice guy. A human being. Have a little respect.”
“He dresses up in women’s clothing,” she says with distaste.
“And wears it well,” I say with a firm nod of my head. “He took me to a drag show a few days ago in Raleigh. He put all those other men to shame in their formal wear.”
Lynette’s jaw drops in shock. I can see her trying to figure out if I’m kidding or not. I most definitely am not.
I truly did think we were going to a drag race, but when I went to pick up Morri at Mainer House and he came out with a red sequin gown, makeup so expertly applied and changing the angles of his face so much I couldn’t recognize him, and a blonde wig with flowing curls down to his waist, well, I just had to see what it was all about. I pride myself in learning about new stuff, and let’s just say I got educated that night.
But Morri was cool. We had an enjoyable time sharing a few drinks and watching other men dressed similarly singing up on a stage. It was entertaining to say the least.
“Want to know my take?” I ask Lynette as I lean in toward her.
“What’s that?” she says quietly, as if she’s unsure she wants to know where this conversation is going.
“I’m going to tell you the same thing I’m telling everyone else in this town,” I tell her slowly. “I think Lowe and Mely—that would be the New York bitty you were talking about—are getting pretty serious with each other.”
“Why do you say that?” she asks.
“Because that house has a special connection to them both,” I say with a careless shrug, but my words are calculated to get a rise out of Lynette. She needs to let go of her little Lowe-crush. “Mark my words… those two are falling hard for each other, and I’m betting they’ll be courting, then marrying, then bringing babies into that house.”
Lynette wrinkles her nose, and I just smile blandly at her.
Her eyes turn calculating. “Seems Lowe ain’t ready to give up that house after all.”
“I suppose.”
“Fortuitous the woman he’s courtin’ owns the house he wants,” she muses. “It could be a way in for him.”
“On the surface, yes,” I also have to admit.
“Pap was in here the other day. He said you and he were discussing this very thing,” Muriel adds in as she sets the to-go cups of coffee before me and Muriel. “Talked about he could marry her and then divorce her to get it.”
“Well, I just made mention in passing that it could potentially be a way to get the Mainer House back—”
“Don’t you think maybe there’s a chance Lowe’s playing her to get what he wants?” Lynette asks Muriel hopefully.
“He’s not playing her,” I say staunchly. This I know. “And I was joking when I said that to Pap.”
“But think about it,” Lynette says as she leans an elbow on the counter, tipping her head closer to Muriel. “It would be a really slick way for Lowe to get what he wants.”
My immediate desire to deny her accusation sits there like a dead weight in the bottom of my stomach, but damn if I wasn’t thinking the same exact thing. Just a few days ago, that seemed legit. But now, there’s no way Lowe would ever be in this for any gain, and besides… if she comes to any future marriage owning Mainer House, Lowe’s an upstanding guy. She’d leave with that same house if they divorced. That’s just the way he is.
Lynette pushes two dollars across the counter to Muriel and grabs her cup. Nudging her shoulder against mine as she hops off the stool, Lynette whispers near my ear. “Nice to know I’m not the only one in this town who thinks that way. You should totally talk to Lowe about this again.”
“I didn’t—” I start to say.
But Lynette’s already trotting out the door, yelling, “Toodles.”
“That girl ain’t right in the head,” Muriel murmurs as she watches her walk out the door.
“She’s a troublemaker is what she is,” I growl in disgust.
“But still,” Muriel says thoughtfully. “You have to admit that’s a definite way for Lowe to get Mainer House back. Judge Bowe would never let it go to a Yankee.”
Yes, yes, yes… this is true.
It’s true people are talking about Lowe’s future when I bet he ain’t even got half as much figured out yet. It’s not like he’s going to elope or anything. And while Morri told me he thought Mely was falling hard for Lowe at the drag show, and I can see the same going on with that boy, it doesn’t mean anyone needs to be talking about marriage and divorce.
That’s just not how things are done in the slow South.