Stella

 

Stella threw another pair of jeans into her suitcase, pressing them down into the case to make space for more clothes. She’d need to take two bags onto the bus, minimum, but she figured she would need to leave a lot of her possessions behind in the interest of time. Now that Nicole knew she was pregnant, she needed to get out of town as soon as possible. She was just about to zip up the first bag and start on the second when somebody pounded on her door, four or five times in a row.

 

“Jesus,” Stella murmured to herself, wondering what could be so urgent. But then the next second fear struck her, sending a single bead of sweat down her back as she wondered who could be pounding on her door at this hour. Was it Cameron? One of Cameron’s cronies? Did Nicole tell them that she was knocked up? Was that her executioner at the door?

Bang. Bang. Bang. Three more knocks at the door. Stella swallowed thickly, willing herself to be strong as she slowly tiptoed into the kitchen area, grabbing the sharpest knife she could find before walking over to the front door. “Who is it?” she asked, trying to keep her voice as still and steady as possible. Don’t show them you’re afraid. Don’t fucking give them the satisfaction, she told herself.

 

There was only a muffled sound on the other side of the door, so Stella walked up to the eyehole, peeking out to see a woman standing there waiting. It was blurry, but she was pretty confident it was Nicole. Stella breathed a sigh of relief before she had second thoughts; maybe it was a trap. Maybe Cameron was just using Nicole to lure her out of her apartment, and then a dozen Marauders would leap out at her and smash her into the ground.

 

“Stella?” Nicole said, knocking lightly again. “Stella, I really need to talk to you. Let me in.”

 

“You can talk to me from out there!” Stella said, clutching harder onto her knife. “What do you want?”

 

Nicole sighed loudly and leaned against the door, almost obstructing Stella’s view through the eyehole. “I have to tell you something. It’s really important, okay, and I don’t want to say it loudly where other people might hear. Just let me in, sweetheart.”

 

Stella’s heart only beat faster, thumping up against her chest so hard that it hurt. “How do I know you didn’t bring Cameron with you?”

 

Nicole laughed, but it wasn’t a humorous sound. Stella could detect how hurt she was even in the noise of her fake laughter. “Oh, believe me, you have no idea how funny that is,” Nicole said, but her voice was sad and soft. For the first time in weeks, maybe even months, Stella felt like she recognized the sound of her best friend, who only wanted the best for her.

 

“Nicole,” she called out after a pause, reaching down to wrap her hand around the doorknob. “I’m serious about this. If this is just a trap, setting me up to get grabbed by Cameron, we’re done. Forever. Think about if you can live with that before you do this, okay, please?”

 

“Stella,” Nicole said, leaning her head against the door. “Stella, please, trust me. Please. I promise. I would never hurt you. I’m so sorry for letting you think otherwise. Please. I love you.”

 

Stella inhaled deeply and stepped back from the door, quickly undoing the locks and swinging it open, just enough for Nicole to step inside. As soon as her friend was in, she slammed it shut and locked it again, looking out the hole again to see if there was anyone waiting outside.

 

“Jesus, you’re really scared, aren’t you?” Nicole said, biting her bottom lip as she stared at Stella.

 

Stella shrugged, but she knew there was no hiding from her best friend. “What are you doing here, Nic?” The old nickname fell out of Stella’s mouth before she could stop it, causing a slight smile to spread across Nicole’s face.

 

“I have to tell you something,” Nicole said, walking over to the couch. “Come on, sit down. You shouldn’t be on your feet.”

 

“I’m not that pregnant,” Stella pointed out, but she did as Nicole suggested, sitting down next to her on the couch but keeping a safe distance between their bodies.

 

Nicole was silent for a long moment, staring down at her own lap before looking across at Stella, her eyes wide and full of sorrow. “I’m so sorry that you think I abandoned you. Believe me, I would never do anything to let you get hurt. Ever.”

 

Nicole looked so earnest, so sincerely upset that Stella almost immediately forgave her on the spot. But her anger won out, and she shook her head, refusing to accept the apology that easily. “But you did abandon me, Nicole. You left me here alone with Cameron, and anything could have happened. How could you leave me like that?”

 

“I didn’t leave you,” Nicole said quickly.

 

“Yes, you did,” Stella said, her face screwing up in confusion as Nicole shook her head several times in quick succession.

 

“No,” Nicole said, reaching forward to grab Stella’s hand, holding onto it hard even when Stella tried to pull away. “I promise you, I didn’t. I stayed right outside the whole time, hiding in the bushes, making sure that he didn’t hurt you. I waited there the whole night, just to make sure he didn’t come back after he left.”

 

Stella stared across at her friend, unable to comprehend her words for a long time. When they finally sunk in, she was still baffled, even if she couldn’t bring herself to tear her hand away from Nicole’s warm grasp. “Why would you do that?” she finally asked as soon as the ability to speak returned to her.

 

Nicole sighed and pushed some of the hair away from her face. “It’s complicated.”

Stella shrugged. “I’ve got time. Well, no, actually, I don’t, now that I think about it, but I want to know. So tell me. Please. I deserve to know.”

 

Nicole nodded slowly and blew out her breath to prepare herself for her answer. “So, I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve been pretty distant lately, huh?” Stella nodded. “Well, there’s a reason for that. Ian’s been getting closer to Cameron, every day. Cameron’s been losing his mind, going crazy without you. I just know that he’s not going to give up. He’ll do whatever he wants to do, no matter who it hurts. Even if it hurts the MC.” Nicole paused, shaking her head. “I’ve been around the Marauders my whole life, and I’ll be damned if I let some egotistical little shit ruin everything that my father and his father before him built. We’re taking the club back.”

 

“But what does that have to do with—?” Stella asked, turning around in her seat to face Nicole head on, but Nicole cut her off to answer.

 

“Ian is Cameron’s number one guy now,” Nicole said. “I had to make sure I obeyed him so he wouldn’t get suspicious and distance himself from Ian at all. I made it look like I left that night so he wouldn’t wonder about my loyalty, but I’ve always been loyal to you, Stel. I never would have let him hurt you.”

 

Stella didn’t know what to say. For a long moment, she just stared at Nicole, trying to read her face for any sign of dishonesty. But she couldn’t detect a single note of deception anywhere in her features or in the sound of her voice. Nicole’s face looked physically strained with the overwhelming desire to convince Stella that she was telling the truth. She’s my best friend, Stella thought as she felt Nicole’s hand tighten around hers.

 

“Please, Stella,” Nicole said, scooting closer on the couch so that barely any space separated them now. “Please, I’m so sorry. But I did it for you. For both of us. Please. Help me destroy Cameron.”

 

Stella still had a million and a half questions stewing around in her brain. Nicole said they were going to take the club back. But how? Most of the members were still loyal to Cameron, as far as Stella could tell, and there was no way to determine who all would be willing to betray him.

 

But staring across at her best friend, seeing the unbridled belief shining in her eyes, Stella knew that ultimately the logistics didn’t matter right now. All that mattered was being there for her best friend, the same way her friend was there for her.

 

“Okay,” she whispered, squeezing at Nicole’s fingers to demonstrate that she was committed. “Okay, I’ll help. I’ll do whatever it takes. I swear.”

 

Nicole breathed a sigh of relief and smiled widely before reaching across the couch to press Stella into a gentle hug. “I love you, you know,” Nicole whispered into her hair.

 

“I love you, too,” Stella said back, and for the first time in weeks she felt safe. Like nothing could hurt her, even with the new life brewing inside her body.

 

When they pulled apart, however, all of Stella’s worries returned, all at once, making her feel like she was going to pass out as she thought of what lay ahead. “Jesus Christ. I can’t believe I’m knocked up,” she muttered, more to herself than to Nicole, shaking her head at herself.

 

“Have you told Mark?” Nicole asked, staring up at Stella with wide, concerned eyes.

 

Stella scoffed and shook her head. “No, there’s no way I could tell him. He’s not interested in me like that. It’s not his fault I couldn’t afford to be on the pill.” Stella could tell by the skeptical look on Nicole’s face that she didn’t agree with that assessment, but she pressed onward. “Anyway, it’s just pointless. He’ll only just freak out and leave town the second he finds out, anyway.”

 

Nicole clicked her tongue from behind her teeth and shook her head slowly. “You know, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. I think you’re not giving him enough credit.”

 

“What do you mean?” Stella asked.

 

“Ian and I went to him first. We had to, if we were going to figure out if we had a shot at actually making this shit work. And Mark’s in.”

 

“In on what?” Stella asked, still feeling completely confused.

 

“Taking Cameron out,” Nicole explained. “He’s going to help us. Why do you think he’d do that, just out of the goodness of his heart?” Nicole chuckled and shook her head again, her smile beaming so bright that it practically lit up Stella’s entire apartment. “Stella, come on. Think about it. Why does Mark give a fuck about the Haven or the Marauders or any of it?”

 

“I don’t know,” Stella said honestly.

 

Nicole rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. It’s for you! It’s all about you, Stel. He only cares because he cares about you.”

 

Stella shook her head and laughed bitterly. “No, come on, there’s no way,” she said, pulling her hand out of Nicole’s in protest. “He’s not like that. He probably just hates Cameron because Cameron is a piece of shit.”

 

“Yeah, right, I’m sure that’s it,” Nicole said sarcastically, shaking her head furiously. “Get real here, Stella. What we’re going to do is fucking dangerous. He wouldn’t risk his life just for kicks. He’s doing it for you. Because he—”

 

Stella cut Nicole off by getting to her feet, immediately pacing around her small living room area as if she could push Nicole’s argument away just by physically removing herself from it. “He doesn’t,” she murmured to herself as she moved around in big circles. “He can’t. There’s no way.”

 

“Why do you refuse to believe it?” Nicole asked, getting to her own two feet and following Stella’s path around the room. “Is it because of Cameron? After all those years with him, you just can’t believe it when somebody actually gives a fuck about you?”

 

“I don’t know!” Stella yelled, turning around to face Nicole. “I don’t know, Nicole. But you’re wrong. You have to be. He doesn’t care about me. He can’t.”

 

“He can and does,” Nicole said, putting her hands on Stella’s shoulders to keep her in place. “Look, you probably won’t believe it if you only hear it from me. You need to hear it from him.”

 

“But how do I—”

 

Nicole cut Stella off. “By telling him! Come on, what do you have to lose? What’s the worst that can happen, you raise the baby by yourself? You were already planning on doing that anyway, right? So just tell him. Be brave, and call him.”

 

Stella bit her lip, unsure of what to do. “I’m scared,” she admitted, dropping one of her hands to rub up against her belly, wishing she was stronger for the life that was growing inside of her. “I’m not tough like you. I can’t do it.”

 

“You’re the toughest woman I know,” Nicole said, smiling at her best friend. “I’ll be with you the whole time. Call him.”

 

Stella exhaled shakily, letting the breath leave her body little by little until she was totally empty. “Okay,” she whispered, reaching down with trembling fingers to pull her phone out, rushing to pull up Mark’s contact information. She knew that if she didn’t do this within the next five seconds, she’d never do it. She couldn’t live her life in regret, always looking back and wondering “What if?” She had to try, even if it almost destroyed her to do so.

 

She held the phone up to her ear, listening to the shrill ringing, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited. “Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up,” she murmured before she heard the click that told her that Mark had answered her call. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest, fast and hard.

 

“Hello?” Mark asked on the other end of the phone, making Stella’s mouth go dry in about two seconds flat.

 

“Hey,” Stella said softly as soon as she conjured up the ability to form coherent words. “Sorry for bothering you. I know you must be busy.”

 

“You’re not bothering me,” Mark said quickly, faster than he’d ever said anything to her during the whole length of their relationship. “What’s up?”

 

Stella could only breathe for the seconds that followed, sucking in air like she was dying. She had to do this, though. She couldn’t back down. She couldn’t be weak.

 

“Hello? You still there?” Mark said.

 

“Yes, yes,” Stella said. “I’m here.” But then she fell silent again, staring down at her own stomach as she struggled to come up with the right words to say. “Something’s happened,” she finally said.

 

“What? What is it? Are you okay?” Mark asked, panic seeping into his voice. Stella heard some weird shuffling sounds, like he was getting to his feet out of worry.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” Stella said, even though it felt like a lie to say those words. “But I have to tell you something, okay? It’s a really big deal. So you might want to sit down and make sure you’re okay before you hear this.”

 

“Okay,” Mark said evenly, but Stella could tell by the sudden shallowness of his breathing that he was struggling to stay calm.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Stella said, forcing out the words as quickly as she could, then letting her eyes fall shut in an attempt to hide away from the reality of it. “It’s yours,” she added in a hoarse whisper, possibly too softly for Mark to hear.

 

“What did you just say?” Mark said, sounding shell shocked, his voice coming off distant and vague sounding, like his mouth and his brain had totally disconnected from each other.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Stella repeated herself. “Not very far along, but it’s real. I’m going to have a baby.”

 

“Fuck me,” Mark whispered on the other end, making Stella feel like her heart was free falling within her body, screaming as it kept hurtling through the air with nothing to catch it. So this is how it happens, Stella thought, swallowing thickly as she listened to the sound of Mark’s ever-quickening breathing on the other end of the phone line. This was how her relationship with Mark had to end. Just like this.

 

But then another sound came out through the phone, muffled at first, and then louder and louder. Laughter. Not mocking laughter, but a deep, throaty sound that just got more and more intense as the seconds passed by. Mark sounded…happy. He actually sounded like he’d just received the best news in his life.

 

“Are you serious? Is this real?” Mark asked in between bouts of deep laughter, sounding like he still wasn’t sure if he believed it.

 

“I’m being one hundred percent serious right now,” Stella said, her heart beginning to restore itself to its proper place in her chest, beating hard but not as fast as before. She felt her hands tremble still, but for some reason she no longer felt as afraid as before. She felt stronger, like Mark’s disbelief had given her the motivation she needed to pull herself together. “I’m going to have a baby. Your baby.”

 

Stella had almost forgotten that Nicole was even in her apartment at all, but now she noticed her best friend pump her fists into the air victoriously and hop around like a kid in a candy store.

 

When Mark finally stopped laughing breathlessly, he cleared his throat and spoke again. “Wow. Jesus. Fuck.”

 

“Yeah, I second all of that,” Stella said, chuckling herself, feeling freer and lighter than she had in weeks. “So, um, I’m going to have the baby. And I’m going to keep it. Do you want to...?” Stella trailed off, uncertain how to ask if Mark was willing to be a part of the child’s life.

 

But Mark seemed to understand what she meant. “Yes,” he said firmly, not a single trace of doubt audible in his voice. “Yes, I want to. Please. I’d be honored.”

 

“Fuck,” Stella murmured into the phone, pushing her hair back from her forehead. “I was so scared of what you were going to say. I almost didn’t tell you.”

 

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Mark said softly. “But you know what this means now, don’t you?”

 

“No, what does it mean?” Stella asked, feeling sparks of fear shoot up her spine in response to his words.

 

“We have to fight now. There’s no other choice,” Mark said. “You can’t run away.”

 

Stella didn’t know how he knew that was her plan, but she didn’t question it. “Nicole told me you guys have a plan,” she said. “But I don’t know…The Marauders are too big. How are we supposed to fight, Mark?”

 

“Just trust me,” Mark said. “Can you do that? Just this once? Trust me. Please. I’ll get us through this.”

 

Stella didn’t know if she believed him, but she knew that she had no other choice. They were about to go to war, for real this time. Chances were, Cameron and the rest of the MC would smack them down like flies for even trying to interfere with his authority. But they had to try. Otherwise Stella would be scared of Cameron for the rest of her life, and that was no way to raise a baby. 

 

If the worst happened, if Cameron won, Stella and Mark would go down hand in hand. And that would have to be enough.