When I leave the restaurant, I am honestly more than shaken up. I am confused and sorta buzzed and still pretty strung-out from whatever Charlie’s tongue and cock did to me.

Let’s just say it was more than orgasmic. It rocked my world. And I swear he felt something too, but then Clive barged in and ruined everything.

Charlie said, ‘I didn’t mean... We were just having fun...’

And to him, that was all that this was. So when I leave the bakery and walk to my house, I tell myself that I need to erase any hope of something more happening between the two of us out of my little head.

“Slow down, Mags,” Greta says, as I jam my key in my front door. I don’t answer her, I just push open my door and storm inside, knowing she and Hazel are following me. I throw my purse on the couch and beeline to my kitchen. I need hot tea and a warm bath. The last few minutes have chilled me to the bone.

It was so hot in the backroom with Charlie... his hands on my ass... his cock buried inside me...

Dammit. I squeeze my eyes shut. I will not cry. Not now. Not with Greta and Hazel watching. I fill the kettle with water and then slam it down on the burner.

“Sweetie, you’re kinda flipping out right now,” Greta says. “And we know you must be really--”

I cut her off. “You don’t know.” I spin around from the range and look at Hazel and Greta, who have already found seats around my kitchen table, apparently not planning on leaving me alone anytime soon. “You’ve both experienced love before. So don’t tell me you understand how I must be feeling.”

“I wish we had never come in the bakery...”

I shake my head at Hazel, reaching for mugs on the open shelving. “I’m glad you came in. Because now I know how Charlie really feels. This was just a hook-up. Now I can move on.” I speak shortly. I never get like this. Detached.

“Of course, it matters,” Hazel presses. “You had sex for the first time tonight and your brother walked in on you. This is like, a big deal.”

I reach for three tea bags and plop them into the mugs. I turn so I’m not facing them, knowing that they’re having a silent conversation behind my back but not caring at all.

I’m embarrassed, more than anything else.

Charlie never even kissed me.

I waited forever for a man who jumped away from me when we got caught. Like we were doing something wrong.

Thank God, I didn’t say something stupid to Charlie. Something about how this was the best night of my life, or that I’d been waiting for his hands to hold me since I was a little girl.

I’m glad I left right away because, in the end, he didn’t chase after me.

I’m a fool for thinking he would.

It’s high time I move on.

When the kettle whistles, I pour the water over the teabags and carry the mugs to the table. I am not going to shed any more tears over my brother’s best friend.

No.

“Say something, Maggie,” Hazel says. “You’re freaking us out.”

I wrap my hands around the warm mug, shaking my head. “Why? Because I always have lots to say?”

Greta snorts. “Um, yeah, pretty much. You’re the one who always wants to talk things out. It’s never pulling teeth with you.”

“Do you ever wonder why I’m like that?”

Greta frowns, shakes her head.

“I’m the one who’s always overly invested, ready to concoct something to make my boring, lame life exciting.”

“You’re not the boring one,” Greta disagrees. “You’re the life of the party. I should know. I have two kids under five. I win if we’re competing over who’s the lame one.”

“Hardly.” I think how I’m the one who always plans the backyard barbecues and hosts book club and coordinates river floats. I do it because I have nothing else going for me. “Greta, you have mommy friends and play dates and preschool pickup and people to make dinner for and a business.”

“It’s your business too.”

I groan, leaning back in my chair. “Don’t you see? The bakery is all I have. And I thought... I thought...” I shake my head, the tears I’m fighting welling upside me.

“What sweetie?” Hazel says, rubbing my back,

“I thought,” I try, my shoulders shaking as an onslaught of tears escape. “I just thought for a few minutes tonight, when I was with Charlie, that maybe, just maybe, my life could be about more than cupcakes.”

“Oh, Mags,” Greta cries. “But you make the best cupcakes in the state. And that’s saying something.”

I press my hands to my face. “I don’t want cupcakes,” I manage to sniffle out.

“What do you want?” Hazel asks.

“I wanted Charlie.”

There’s nothing else to say to that. We’re all in the back room of the bakery, we all heard Charlie say this was just fun and games to him. I knew that when we started.

Well, I knew it in my head, but I think my heart held on to something else. Something permanent. My heart held on to a hope that began blossoming back when I was eight years old and he saved my kitten.

Hope that I’d never let go of.

Until now.

“I think this was for the best,” I say, reaching for a napkin and wiping my eyes. “I think this needed to happen if I was ever going to get over Charlie.”

“And sleeping with him? That convinced you?”

I close my eyes, remembering the way his beard nuzzled between my thighs. The way he licked me up and down and pulled me closer to himself. The way he pressed me against the fridge and let me sink against him nice and slow.

How will I ever get over this man?

I open my eyes, knowing I have no other choice.

He doesn’t want me like I wanted him, and after Clive is done chewing him out, I doubt he’ll ever look in my direction again.

“I need to move on. Stop living in a world where I’ll magically get my fairy tale ending.”

Greta nods. “We’re behind you, one hundred percent.”

“Totally,” Hazel agrees. “We could set you up on dates. Although that might be a bit too soon considering what happened tonight.”

I shake my head, resolved. “No, it’s perfect. Set me up on any date you can find. I need to get over Charlie, fast. Bring on the men.”

I may not believe it in my heart just yet, that I’m really ready to move on ... but I don’t think I have any other choice.

I’m sick of not having the life I want.

And it’s high time I go out and chase it.