Chapter One

 

After a long morning spent playing, Henry had finally fallen asleep. His head was a warm, soft weight in Taylor’s lap. She ran her fingers through his silvery hair, the gesture less for his comfort and more so that she could keep from clenching them into fists.

Dozing as he was, with his breath coming out in little puffs that heated the skin of her thigh, Henry looked perfectly at peace. Taylor would have liked to believe that he was oblivious to everything that was going on. After all, he was just over six months old, and by rights should have still been drifting through the fog of infancy. But like his siblings, Henry was a shifter, a strange cross between wolf and human. A wolf his age would be nearly self-sufficient, hunting with its pack and long-since weaned from its fussy mother.

Being caught between the two worlds, Henry’s mind and body had developed rapidly. Already, he could understand most of what was said, and might even have been able to say a few words, though he wasn’t in human form long enough for anyone to find out. In his wolf form, he was the size of a medium-build dog, and growing every day. His growth was glacial compared to that of his older brother Shadow, but he was already the same size as his sister Fawn, who was nearly two years his senior.

The one area he lagged behind in, the area which all pups seemed slow to understand, was that of emotions. Nothing in their rapid canine development prepared them for the onslaught of human emotions, which came at them from external sources, and from within. After a long time of agonizing over her role in her pup’s lives, Taylor had ultimately come to the revelation that it was helping them to navigate the tumultuous feelings that they faced each day.

Henry differed from her other pups, in that he never got caught in the push and pull of emotions. In general, he had two modes: neutral and cheerful. On the rare occasions that he cried or whined, it was because he was hurt or hungry. He didn’t seem to understand sadness, and whenever he saw one of his siblings moping around, he would at first appear perplexed, and then try to engage them in playing.

He’d been doing just that before he’d fallen asleep. Shadow had come with them, tasked by Alder to watch over his mother and Henry while they waited for their guests. Holly was present, too, but for once Taylor questioned which of them would be better able to defend her. The fox shifter was quick, nimble, and a skilled fighter, but Shadow was likely to ward off potential attackers just by virtue of his size and apparent strength.

Shadow was lurking in the forest around them, somewhere within earshot, but out of Taylor’s field of vision. She’d tried calling him over to them several times, but either he was taking his job very seriously, or like Hale, he was spurning her. It was probably a little of both, and Taylor tried to pretend that it didn’t bother her, just like she was pretending that she was calm and not a complete emotional wreck.

In truth, she felt wretched inside. Wretched, but also a little hopeful.

“Maybe they aren’t coming,” Lark said, a second after Taylor had thought the words herself.

Taylor had done her best to keep the raccoon shifter from joining them, even leaving at the crack of dawn when Lark was most likely to be sleeping. Lark, however, had been camped outside Taylor’s cabin, insisting that as her best friend, she needed to go with Taylor for emotional support.

Lark was not her best friend. That esteem somehow belonged to Holly. Taylor did hold a strong affection for Lark, which went back to her early days in the pack, when Lark and Glenn had been the only two members to initially warm up to her. However, over the years as Taylor had grown and matured, Lark’s eccentric and overly emotional personality had become less endearing and more annoying than anything else. On a day when Taylor was doing her absolute best to keep it together, the last thing she needed was Lark saying everything that popped into her head.

It should have been Alder beside her, not Lark. Alder was a calm, resolute pillar that Taylor could have leaned on for strength. Instead, he was out chasing down his brother, who had disappeared the night before. In her mind, Taylor tiptoed around the events of that night, as it was an emotional minefield. One misstep, and she’d be a crying, blubbering mess.

“They’re coming,” Taylor said, more to herself than to Lark.

Lark countered, “But they were supposed to be here in the morning and it’s already after noon.”

Holly said, “Yeah, but you know that time isn’t a science out here. They’ve been traveling for over a week. There’s no telling what’s happened since they left.”

“Maybe she got eaten by a bear,” Lark offered.

“Don’t say that,” Taylor chided. Although it was an effort to be civil, in her head she was imagining a woman she had never met being eaten alive by a bear, and it was damn satisfying.

The woman was named Carly. Taylor might have disliked her on the basis of her name alone, which conjured images of crimped hair, bedazzled blue jeans, and the word ‘like’ being used as a frequent and unnecessary interjection. She wasn’t sure why all Carly’s were 90s valley girls in her mind, but just the same, it was how Taylor pictured her.

She also imagined that Carly would look like Henry, who was her biological son. Given that Henry’s human form looked remarkably wolfish, with his golden eyes and silvery hair, he likely took after his father, but Taylor had nothing else to base her image of Carly on.

Taylor had thought a lot about Carly over the past few months, ever since she’d received a letter from Sarah, telling her that Carly was interested in coming to the valley to become Silas’s mate. In that letter, and peppered into their subsequent correspondences, Sarah had made a point to mention that Carly felt deep regret over giving Henry away and wanted badly to reconnect with him, whatever the fuck that meant.

Taylor had received Henry during the previous winter, after his mother had given him to Sarah. All she’d known about Carly was that she was a human in her early twenties who’d gotten pregnant after a one night stand with a shifter. Carly had planned on keeping Henry, but when he was born looking unmistakably inhuman, she saw no other option but to give him away. Beyond the reservation where the shifters lived, modern human sentiments were beginning to lean pro-shifter, but they were still lightyears away from accepting shifters into human society.

Now, Carly was on her way to Halcyon Valley to meet Silas and her son. Taylor still had no idea if Silas would even be interested in meeting Carly. Thanks to Hale being stupidly overprotective, she hadn’t been able to speak with him directly, and instead had to communicate through his sister Olivia, who was a member of Taylor’s agriculture squad.

According to Olivia, Silas was hung up on another female, one who had left the pack and was unlikely to ever return. She didn’t think he would readily agree to meet with any other potential mate, but she did think that if they got Silas and Carly together, his instincts would prevail.

And if Olivia was right, Taylor had no idea what would happen next, at least in regards to Henry. Carly wasn’t coming to take him away, nor did it seem that she had any intention of usurping Taylor’s role as his mother, at least, not yet. Even if she came with the best of intentions, there was no telling what would happen once she was there, suddenly involved in Henry’s life. Taylor wasn’t afraid that Carly would come barreling in, declaring herself Henry’s mother. Far more likely, Taylor would lose him bit by bit, as the bond between he and his real mother settled into place.

And why wouldn’t he want a new mother? One who could give him oodles of time and attention, one who wasn’t busy mothering three other pups, with yet another on the way?

“Maybe she got spooked; backed out at the last minute,” Holly offered, voicing one of Taylor’s hopes.

“We would have heard something by now,” Taylor said.

She’d had plenty of time to ponder this over the past couple of weeks. Generally, correspondence between the two packs was handled by avian shifters, which took only a couple of days to make what was a fortnight’s journey on foot. If Carly had changed her mind, at least early on in the journey, then they definitely would have received notice.

“I guess,” Holly said with one of her characteristic shrugs. “Here’s to hoping for that bear attack, then.”

Taylor couldn’t bring herself to reproach her, but she did swat Lark’s hand away from Henry’s long tail, which the raccoon shifter had been starting to braid.

“Cut it out, you’re gonna wake him.”

Lark threw her hands up helplessly. “I don’t know what else to do with them. I can’t keep still, I’m too anxious.”

Taylor knew precisely what she was experiencing. If not for the fact that she was stroking Henry’s head, she would have been lacing and unlacing her fingers like crazy.

“Braid my hair, then,” Taylor said, leaning towards her.

“Really?” Lark asked, her dark eyes shining with appreciation.

Behind them, Holly snorted.

Taylor nodded. “Have at it.”

Lark was quick to position herself behind Taylor and began combing the tangles from Taylor’s red locks. It hurt, a pain which only intensified as Lark began knotting her hair into tight braids, but for once Taylor didn’t mind. She was glad for the pain, as it was a welcome distraction from her thoughts.

Sweat trickled down her back, a byproduct of the summer heat and the heavy clothes she was wearing, which were better suited for the cool mornings.

Aside from the heat, it was a beautiful day. The verdant forest, bright sunshine, and chirping songbirds seemed completely at odds with the chaos in Taylor’s mind. She felt like it should be pouring rain, with thunder rumbling in the distance.

From behind her, Lark mumbled something Taylor couldn’t quite hear. Holly must have heard her, because she hummed her agreement.

“What?” Taylor asked.

Only raising her voice slightly, Lark whispered, “He’s the best one.”

“What are you talking about?” Taylor asked, certain she was missing some context.

“She’s talking about Henry,” Holly said. “No offense, Shadow, if you’re listening.”

Taylor lifted her brows at Holly.

Holly elaborated, “Shadow’s been like an adult since he left the womb, and frankly, he’s a bit of an ass to everyone who isn’t his mommy.” She raised her voice towards the end, but no response came from the still forest. Holly went on, “Fawn’s adorable, but she’s kind of a brat. Your mates treat her like a princess and it’s starting to go to her head. And then there’s Belle.”

Holly stopped, as if having completed the thought. From behind her, Taylor heard Lark groan Belle’s name.

“What’s wrong with Belle?” Taylor asked. “I mean, she can be a bit particular, but she has a good heart.”

“She’s a nightmare, to put it mildly,” Holly said. “You and Bekka are literally the only two females in the pack that can touch her without her losing her shit.”

“It’s just a phase,” Taylor said, folding her arms beneath her breasts. “She’ll grow out of it.”

“She’s six months old,” Holly protested.

“Exactly,” Taylor said. “She’s practically a baby.”

“Humans,” Holly muttered under her breath.

Taylor looked back in time to see the fox shifter glance at Lark for commiseration, and then her eyes widened. A second later, Taylor heard a tremulous sob.

“He’s…the best…one,” Lark said between sniffles. “He loves everyone. He’s always happy. He always lets me hug him and he doesn’t mind when I give him kisses. The last time I tried to kiss Fawn she told me my breath smelled bad.”

Holly added, “And he’ll eat anything without bitching. He listens the first time I say something, I don’t have to repeat myself ten times—” her voice rose again, “just to get a dirty look and a snort.”

“Stop harassing Shadow,” Taylor said.

“Face it, Taylor. Your kids are jerks. Henry’s the only good one and you’re just…” Holly trailed off.

Tears threatened to well in Taylor’s eyes, but were dispelled with a few blinks.

It wasn’t what Holly implied that upset her. It was what her words reminded her of. They were an echo of her fight with Hale, the one she was desperately trying to forget.

“Go ahead and say it,” Taylor said, her voice hollow. “It’s not like I haven’t heard it a thousand times already.”

Holly shook her head, her eyes offering a rare display of apology. “I didn’t mean that. I know that you’re not—”

“You’re giving him away,” Lark blurted.

Taylor flinched.

“No one’s giving anyone away,” Holly said gruffly. “The chick just wants to meet her pup, and we all know that once she does, she’s going to realize that she’s way out of her depth. She’ll high tail it back to whatever honky tonk town she crawled out of, and everything will go back to the way it was.”

Taylor was torn between feeling grateful for the support and worried that Henry might have heard Holly’s remarks. She looked back down to see that he was still snoozing peacefully. Her shoulders slumped with her relief.

Pushing herself off the tree she’d been leaning on, Holly brushed off the back of her leather jacket.

“I think we should head back,” she said. “No sense in sitting around here in the heat when we can be swimming or something. Besides, aren’t you hungry?”

Taylor rolled her shoulders. She hadn’t eaten anything that morning, mostly due to her nerves. Hunger had yet to catch up with her, but she knew that she should try to force something down her throat, if only for the baby’s sake.

Before she could respond, Lark let out another theatric sniffle and said, “We can’t leave now. They’re almost here.”

Taylor jerked around to look at her. Lark’s hands had still been buried in her hair, and she felt a sharp pain as a clump tore out.

“You can hear them?” Taylor asked, reaching back to soothe her irritated scalp.

Lark untangled her fingers from Taylor’s hair and gave a tearful nod.

The two shifters exchanged a few words, by Taylor could hear only garbled sounds. She felt as if she’d plunged beneath cold water.

This was it. It was really happening.

She tried to remember all of the things she’d been telling herself over the past few weeks. The little mantras that were meant to give her strength and reassurance when she needed it most.

She isn’t here to take him from you.

He’s still your son.

You nursed him. You raised him.

He’ll always love you.

Taylor bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of the sleeping pup’s head, and then exhaled a shaky breath. Slowly, she managed to compose herself.

“You can hear them?” Taylor asked to no shifter in particular.

“I can now,” Holly conceded. “They’re a few minutes out still.”

“You’re sure it’s them?”

Holly said, “Pretty sure, yeah. No shifter walks like that.” She offered Taylor a hand. “You ready for this?”

Taylor gently nudged Henry from her lap, before accepting Holly’s hand. She wanted so badly to be able to scoop him up into her arms and hold him, but he was far too big for her to do so, at least not without garnering critical looks from her companions.

The three of them stood side by side as they waited, the sun bearing down on them. Still sound asleep, Henry lay sprawled out in front of them, like an offering of spun silver.

After what felt like no time at all, a dark-haired female emerged from the clearings. She was dressed in a loose outfit of deerskins and a relieved smile stretched across her freckled face.

Though she’d only met her once, Taylor instantly recognized Alder and Hale’s younger sister Clover. She almost returned the smile, until her eyes fell on the female at Clover’s side. There, scraping nettles from bleach-blonde hair, was Carly.

Taylor took her in, her eyes rounding. A hysterical laugh tried to make its way up her throat, but Taylor choked it down, letting out only a soft grunt. She turned to look at Holly, needing some sort of confirmation that she was seeing what she thought she was. One corner of the fox’s red lips were curved into a smirk. Amusement danced in her green eyes, which echoed Taylor’s conviction.

There was no way in hell that Silas was going to want Carly as his mate.