Chapter Seven
Darcy finished applying her lipstick and glanced up to find Liam’s reflection watching her. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, studying her. She offered him a smile. “What’s up, buttercup?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to tell you I think you look pretty.”
Darcy narrowed her eyes. Even though Liam was a sweet kid, compliments were not his usual style. Unless he was angling for something. “Why, thank you.”
“Are you going out with your friends tonight or do you have a date?”
“I have a date.” Just because she went out of her way to keep her worlds from colliding, she didn’t keep the fact that she dated a secret from him. Not only did she want to be honest with him, she wanted to model for him that dating—as much as settling down and getting married—could be a normal part of adult life.
“Is she pretty, too?”
Darcy smiled. He used to want to know where she was going to eat and when she’d be home. “I think she’s good-looking, handsome more than pretty.”
Liam scowled. “Can girls be handsome?”
“They can. And boys can be pretty.”
“Hmm.” He nodded slowly, acclimating to the idea.
“Just like how sometimes boys like to put on dresses and girls like to have short hair and wear jeans.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“Gender is about how you feel and what you wear and what words you like to use to describe yourself.”
“And gender can change.”
“Exactly. Sometimes it changes from one to the other.”
“Like Kyle.”
One of Liam’s friends had a parent who’d transitioned from Kim to Kyle the year before. “Yes, and sometimes more of a mix. Some people feel like they don’t want to choose one. They like being fluid.”
She watched him process this. “There’s a kid in my class who paints his fingernails. Some of the other boys make fun of him.”
“I hope you would never do that.”
“I wouldn’t. Those kids are mean, and dumb, too. I think it looks cool.”
“We could paint yours too, if you wanted.”
Liam’s eyes lit up. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I never thought to offer.”
“That’s okay.” His shrug told her it wasn’t something that had been weighing on him.
“You know who paints their nails all the time?”
“Who?”
Darcy pointed at him. “Guys who play catcher in baseball.”
“You’re right! Bright yellow so the pitcher can see their signals.”
“Exactly.” Darcy realized she should go out of her way to talk about stuff like that with him, even if he didn’t initiate it. “So, you should never feel like there’s something you can’t do because it’s something for girls.”
Liam nodded, his expression serious. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Is there something you’re thinking about in particular?”
Liam looked down at his feet, shuffled back and forth. “Nah.”
“Are you sure?” She sensed he was hiding something, but she couldn’t figure out what.
He looked up and nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Okay, then. I never want you to feel like there’s anything you can’t tell me.”
“Okay, Mom.”
He turned to go, but Darcy sensed there was still something on his mind. “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”
“Can I stay up until you come home tonight?” He looked at her with big brown eyes.
“It’s going to be pretty late, honey. Why do you want to stay up?”
“Because I’ll miss you.”
Darcy studied her son. It wasn’t like him to be clingy. “Would you rather I stayed home tonight?”
“No, you should go out.”
The speed of his reply assuaged her concerns, but made her suspicious. “What’s going on?”
Liam sighed as though admitting defeat. “There’s a show on about the solar system. It starts at eight, but isn’t over until ten.”
A show about the solar system. Darcy resisted the urge to laugh. “I think that sounds like a pretty good reason to stay up past bedtime.”
“Really?” His excitement seemed laced with incredulousness and Darcy wondered if she’d been saying no more than yes lately. She’d need to pay closer attention to that.
“Really. I’ll let Sara know when she gets here.”
“Yes!” Liam put his fists in the air and ran from the room. She was going to miss the days when something so small filled him with glee.
She finished getting ready, then went to the kitchen. She’d just finished putting her purse in order when Sara knocked on the door. Darcy greeted her, then watched as Sara gave Liam a high five. In addition to being a great babysitter, she played lacrosse. Although Liam had yet to express interest in the sport, he adored her so much Darcy thought he might.
“There’s a pizza in the freezer and salad in the fridge,” she told Sara. “Salad is required,” she added, looking at Liam.
“And I get to stay up late,” Liam said.
“There’s something on TV about the solar system. I’m guessing PBS. I told Liam he could stay up to watch it.”
“Cool.” Sara punctuated the comment with another high five.
“I’ll be home by ten, so you don’t need to worry about bedtime routine.”
“Sounds good.”
“Text me if you need anything.”
“We will. But we’re cool, right L-man?”
Liam stood a little taller at the use of a nickname. “We’re cool.”
“Not too cool for a kiss, I hope.” Liam made a face, but didn’t hesitate to give her both a hug and a kiss. “You guys have fun. I’ll see you soon.”
“You have fun, Mom.” He put extra emphasis on the “you,” making Darcy laugh.
“Bye, Ms. Belo.”
“Bye, Sara. Thanks again. Bye, L-man. You be good.”
“Bye.” Liam took off for the living room and the television remote. Apparently, her using the nickname wasn’t nearly as cool.
Darcy made her way to her car, then to P-town. It was still early enough in the season that she found parking on a side street right off Commercial. After checking her makeup in the rearview mirror, she headed to Ciro and Sal’s.
Emerson waited on the sidewalk, black pants replaced the dark jeans of their first date, paired with a striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Even in the subdued clothing, she managed to look like an artist. Maybe it was the hair—longer on top and just the right amount of messy—or the kind of facial features that made it difficult to pinpoint her ethnicity. Darcy smiled, thinking about Lia’s initial description of her: full-on hot.
Darcy approached and Emerson greeted her with a kiss on the cheek. “Hi. You look fabulous.”
Darcy smirked. “You don’t have to say that every time.”
“But what if it’s true every time?”
“Then by all means.” Darcy tipped her head toward the white gravel path. “Shall we?”
“Absolutely. I haven’t been here since they opened the new wine bar upstairs. Have you?”
Darcy shook her head. “Liam is adventurous with food, but he likes his Italian pretty American.”
Emerson laughed. “I’m glad we get to try it out together.”
They were seated at a small table near a window. Even with the sun setting, the space offered far more natural light than the dim and cozy main dining room downstairs. They ordered wine, then Darcy encouraged Emerson to pick a variety of dishes at random. Emerson ran them past her before putting in the order and Darcy nodded her approval, enjoying that they had similar tastes and could sample more things.
The wine came, then a slow progression of antipasti, mussels, and pasta. Darcy savored each bite, thinking how unfortunate it was that she only seemed to go out for nice meals when she had a date. Not that she had any issue with her dates thus far with Emerson. She enjoyed the adult conversation, not to mention the chemistry between them. The way it simmered just below the surface felt exciting—more exciting than her last three or four dates for sure—but not in the giddy, nervous way of her youth.
Plus, there was the whole getting to know each other. In talking with Emerson, who seemed so interested in her life and her stories, Darcy realized how superficial many of her first and second date conversations were. She’d convinced herself that kind of connection was her preference, but it felt bland, boring even, compared to this. With their main courses in front of them, she said, “I feel like I’ve told you my story, but you haven’t told me yours.”
Emerson shrugged. “That’s because yours is more interesting than mine.”
“I doubt that’s true. Do you have any siblings?”
“A sister.”
Darcy smiled. “See? I’m an only child. Already more interesting. Is she older or younger?”
“Older.”
“So, you’re the baby. Does that mean you were spoiled?”
Emerson chuckled. “Hardly. If anything, Will was the free spirit—outgoing, popular, willing to try anything.”
“Fascinating.”
“I was more of a nerd, and an introvert. Very serious.” Emerson’s face grew serious to match her description.
“You sound like Liam.”
“Based on what you’ve told me, I definitely think that’s the case.”
“And what about your parents?”
“They died in a car accident six years ago.”
Darcy’s hand reached across the table and took Emerson’s. “I’m so sorry.”
Emerson nodded. “Thanks.”
“How old were you?”
“Twenty-two. Not a child by any means, but that didn’t make it feel any less devastating.”
Darcy’s heart ached at the thought. “I’m sure. I can’t imagine not having my parents around.”
“They were just about to retire. They’d spent years planning and saving. They were going to see the world.” Emerson shook her head. She missed them, but it was the timing that still got to her. All that working and waiting for a life they never got to enjoy. “That’s what drove me to paint full-time. Live in the moment, you know?”
“It’s a hard way to learn that lesson.”
“Yeah. I spent about six months feeling like I needed to make them proud and another six feeling guilty about doing what I wanted.”
Darcy set her elbow on the table and propped her chin on her hand. “So, what was your turning point?”
Emerson smiled, remembering the countless conversations she’d had with Will about it. Will had been so worried about her that she drove ten hours to visit her in the tiny room she was renting in the West End. “My sister, actually. She came to see me and we stayed up all night talking. I showed her some of the paintings I’d been doing, then we went for a walk on the beach as the sun came up.”
“And she convinced you this is what would make you happy?”
The conversation had turned into an argument. They stood alone on the beach at Race Point, yelling at one another over the sound of the waves and gulls screeching overhead. By the end, they sat on the sand, sobbing and holding onto each other like they hadn’t since they were kids. The memory remained vivid; it choked her up still. “She convinced me that being happy, and living life on my own terms, is what would make our parents proud.”
“Wow.”
The look of rapt attention on Darcy’s face made Emerson smile. She didn’t tell that story often. And while she never forgot it, she sometimes lost track of how much impact it had. It made her appreciate even more the fact that Will was coming for a visit. “Yeah.”
Darcy nodded slowly. “I’m glad. It would be so hard to live your dream, but constantly second guess yourself while you did it.”
“Exactly. And I owe it all to my sister.” Emerson paused for a moment, then added, “She’s actually coming to town in a couple of days.”
Darcy sat up and smiled. “That’s fun. Does she visit often?”
Emerson frowned. “Not very.”
Darcy noticed the shift in Emerson’s demeanor. She tried to decipher whether the seeming disappointment was tied to the visit itself or to the fact that visits were infrequent. “Do you not get along now?”
“No, we…It’s more that…It’s complicated.”
Darcy tried to offer a reassuring smile. “Family often is. Do you want to talk about it?”
“It’s not bad or anything. We’ve always been super close.”
“But?”
Emerson smiled. “But I get the sense that something is up with her and she’s not telling me. I don’t know if that’s true or if we’ve lost that ability to sense one another. I’m worried about her.”
“What are you worried about?”
“She said something about needing to get away, wanting to regroup. That’s so not like her.”
“What do you mean?” Darcy was curious, but she also wanted Emerson to feel like she could open up.
“Will has always been indomitable. She bounces back. I’m not sure if something bad happened that she hasn’t told me about or what.”
Having been an only child, Darcy knew about that connection siblings often professed to have, but she’d never experienced it herself. She had it for Liam, though, so maybe it had something to do with the womb. “Are you going to ask her about it when she’s here?”
Emerson nodded, as though coming to a resolution in her mind. “I am. I hope to God she’s not engaged. I can’t stand her girlfriend.”
“Well, I hope it’s not that, or anything really bad.”
“Thanks.”
Because Darcy felt like she had more time, she let herself be talked into dessert. Emerson offered to share, but she was feeling indulgent, so they ordered both a lemon cake and a cannoli. A full moon was just beginning to rise when Emerson walked Darcy to her car. “Thank you for dinner.”
“My pleasure. I hope we can do it again soon.”
Darcy smiled. “I think that could be arranged.”
“Maybe you’ll let me pick you up next time, take you somewhere nice.”
“This was plenty nice,” Darcy insisted.
“You know what I mean.”
Darcy gave her a playful look. “Do I?”
“You most certainly do. Real date. A whole evening, or afternoon. You pick the day and time and I’ll take care of the rest.”
Emerson had a way of making Darcy feel like she was being courted. And while old-fashioned would be the last word Darcy used to describe herself, something about it made her feel fluttery. It was appealing in a way that caught her off guard. “Okay. I’ll set something up with my babysitter and let you know.”
“Good. I hope,” Emerson gave her a suggestive look, “you won’t make me wait that long for a first kiss.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“And I hope you don’t have personal objections to public displays of affection.”
Darcy realized just how much she’d been looking forward to kissing Emerson. The fact that it was about to happen gave her a feeling of giddiness. “None.”
“Excellent.”
Emerson leaned in. Darcy closed her eyes in anticipation. She’d never admit it, but on more than one occasion, she found herself making a grocery list or thinking about a bubble bath while kissing a woman. She knew this wouldn’t be that kind of kiss.
Emerson’s lips brushed lightly against hers. Darcy leaned in and the kiss grew firmer. Emerson’s lips covered hers in a way that both teased and promised more. When Emerson’s tongue slid into her mouth, Darcy felt a jolt of electricity course through her. Emerson’s hand fisted lightly in her hair.
She’d expected Emerson to be a good kisser. But even with that expectation, Darcy was caught off guard by the skill and sensuality of Emerson’s mouth. She took her time, changing the angle and the intensity in a way that was hot, but unhurried. It satisfied, but left Darcy wanting.
Emerson made her stomach do flips; Emerson gave her goose bumps.
The breeze kicked up, cooling Darcy’s skin as the rest of her heated, creating a delicious juxtaposition of sensations. She moaned, equal parts pleasure and frustration. The rest of her body wanted in on the action.
When Emerson broke the kiss, Darcy opened her eyes to Emerson’s intense gaze. She felt both relief and regret that they weren’t somewhere more private because it was the only thing that stopped her from taking things farther.
“I’ll call you.” Darcy’s voice was breathless, giving away how much the kiss had affected her.
“I’ll look forward to it.”
Emerson seemed to have more control of her faculties, but the look in her eyes was hungry. It filled Darcy with a yearning to give in, to let go and see where it might take her. But they were standing in the street. And even though it was a quiet side lane with no traffic and even though they were in perhaps the most gay-friendly place in the country, she resisted. Not because she was afraid to go there with Emerson, but because she was expected at home. And if—no, when—she gave herself over, it wouldn’t be for some quickie before her self-imposed curfew.
Because of that, and because she wanted to fist her hands in Emerson’s shirt and pull her close, Darcy busied her hands with digging out her keys and unlocking the car. Emerson took a step back, but didn’t go anywhere. She just stood there looking relaxed. Well, except her eyes. They still had a look that said she’d happily drag Darcy into the back seat of her car. Darcy wouldn’t go there, but maybe one more kiss. What was the harm in that?
Darcy took the lead this time, pulling Emerson’s bottom lip into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue. One of Emerson’s hands returned to her hair, the other slid around her waist, pressing their bodies together. Darcy put her hands on Emerson’s narrow hips. She moved back slightly, letting her back push against the side of her car. Emerson followed, giving Darcy a hint of what it would be like to have Emerson on top of her.
Maybe the backseat wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Realizing how close she was to suggesting it, Darcy pulled back and shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Holy crap. “Uh, good night.”
Emerson trailed a finger along Darcy’s jaw to her chin, tipping it up slightly. Her eyes now had a sparkle of humor in them. No, not humor. Satisfaction. And just a hint of challenge. Darcy swallowed. Emerson leaned in and gave her a quick, almost chaste, kiss. “Night.”