Chapter Five
April rapped nervously on the outside of Samson’s door. Babette had been preoccupied with something that involved poking a needle through some kind of squarish blue wrapper, so April just slipped by and hoped her boss wouldn’t mind the unannounced visit. He’d been more aloof for the past week, and while that had been exactly what she wanted, somehow April still felt awkward around him. She still felt a little guilty for losing her temper with him.
“Come in.”
Samson was at his desk, leaning over his computer and holding a piece of sushi aloft on the end of his chopsticks.
“I didn’t mean to banish you from the break room completely. There’s nothing wrong with your eating lunch there.” April stepped up to the desk, remembering her interview. He had been so… much. So tall, so handsome, and so intense. Everything he’d been in Lana’s house and more. She felt her cheeks blushing just from the thought.
“Oh? You came in just to tell me I’m allowed to eat lunch in the break room of the business I own?”
April made a noise. “No, I came to tell you how sorry I was that we were so unprepared today.”
“Hm.” Samson leaned back. “You weren’t unprepared at all. Hutchinson was unprepared.”
“Well, I—”
“And if you’re here because you feel bad about him losing his job, don’t. I was going to fire him after the meeting anyway.”
April sat and looked up at Samson in confusion. “Why?”
“For the same reasons I fired him today. Well, apart from being late. Do you think that was the first time I’d seen his designs? He’s been sending the same ones up for me to look at for weeks, and I’ve been giving him notes for changes that he barely considered.” Samson picked up another piece of sushi. He chewed thoughtfully, and then said, “He never once sent your designs up, though.”
“Why?” April huffed, “I didn’t disagree with everything he said.”
“No, I’m sure Garcia and Jessie disagreed with the rest. He was trying to bury you, though. He never thought of this as a team effort. Lucky that the rest of you understood that.”
“Or we’d be out, too?”
“Probably. Well, not Jessie. She’s the daughter of the former owner, and Ramirez is still working in management. She does good research.”
“Oh.” April looked down at her hands, hating that she felt so unsure about what she was about to ask. “Why did you hire me?”
“I thought that was obvious. I liked what I saw in your portfolio.” Running two long fingers over his lips, Samson regarded her seriously. “Also, I knew that you went to Parsons when I suggested that you apply. Not to be a snob, but your education is far out of this firm’s league. You took Hutchinson down a peg today. Impressively. You know his business better than he does, which is an accomplishment, since you’ve been in it for such a short time. Don’t let a man like him cause you to doubt what an asset you are.”
“I, um. Ugh. You’re right. I’m sorry.” April felt her cheeks burning even more brightly.
“I’ll admit that I like to see you blush, but righteous indignation looks so much better on you.”
April laughed and pulled some loose hair behind her ear. “I have to be that way,” April swallowed. “I lost my last job because my boss sexually harassed me. He started with jokes, and when I humored him, he started grabbing me.”
Samson’s brows shot up.
“So I don’t mean to come off as demurring, or unconfident. This job is simply so much more important to me than working as a waitress, and I don’t want to lose it.”
Samson furrowed his brows, then narrowed his eyes as he chose his words. “April, I promise you that your employment here will always hinge on the work you do, not how I perceive our relationship. And I will never lay a hand on you without your consent.” He smirked. “You’ve seen the papers. You know that I don’t have to do that sort of thing.”
“I never thought you did. But bosses I’ve had in the past, they just sort of liked having the power to do whatever they wanted to their employees.”
“That’s not me.”
April drew in a deep breath. “You know, I really believe you.”
“Come over here and have some sushi with me. Babette definitely ordered enough for two. I need your opinion on what this vendor is saying about materials.”
April dragged her chair over to his side of the desk. It was pleasant, almost fun, going over what was and wasn’t possible. He even asked her questions about other projects that were going on at the firm, bringing up other designs for her consultation. Before she knew it, half an hour had passed, and Garcia was texting for her whereabouts.
“Oh, damn. Um, I need to get back.”
“Tell Garcia that the bossman is boring you with details and you’ll be back when you’re free.”
“I’m typing that exactly.”
“Tell me. Now that your team is missing a leader, who do you think should take over? Someone in the team? Should I bring in another person from management?”
April though about that, though she kept staring at her phone to avoid meeting his eye. The idea of another Hutchinson, who looked down on them all and hadn’t updated their understanding of architecture since the 70s, was abhorrent.
“I don’t know that we need a leader, but if we have to have someone, it should be Garcia.”
“Really?” Samson moved closer to her and watched her closely. “Not yourself?”
“What?” April let out a sputter of a laugh. “I don’t have nearly enough experience to head up a project like this. I’ve observed, in my internship, but you need a lot more than that to make this a success.”
“That’s too bad. I liked seeing confidence on you.”
“There’s confidence, and then there’s arrogance. Ask me again when we’ve completed few projects, and I’ll take on the whole world for you. I need to know how it works first.”
Samson smiled slowly. “You’re really quite pragmatic, aren’t you? Well, I suppose you’re right. I’ll tell Garcia later today. I’ll also tell him to let me know if you need any other members once you get going. So far, the three of you seem to be handling the work well enough.”
“We were splitting it between ourselves anyway. And to be fair, Garcia is the one who pushed me to take over the drafting.”
“He knows how to use his assets.”
“If you call me an asset one more time, I may start hearing the word incorrectly.”
“Oh yeah? I wonder what you might mistake that word for?” Samson turned back to his computer. “I’m going to take you on a trip with me.”
April twisted her fingers nervously. “A trip?”
“You have a good eye, and I need someone with a keen sense of composition and design. I’ll make sure we schedule it so you aren’t too missed by your team. We can get them to the point where they don’t need their lead designer every moment.”
April scrambled for something to say, but she could only feel herself burning again, like she might torch the chair around her. For most of her life, she had sought this very kind of attention. She wanted someone who valued her, looked at her as worthwhile and competent, and maybe even special. How strange that it would come now, from a man like this, who she had all but swatted away from her.
“I would like that a lot. I moved around a lot as a kid, but I can’t say that I’ve been anywhere special,” April admitted. “Even if it is just for business, it would be different.”
“You moved around, where? Was your family in the military?”
“No.” April felt her stomach churning as the topic of her background came up again. The scent of ginger seemed oppressive as she considered how to word this. He’d been pressing for more details about her life ever since her interview. It was surprising that he hadn’t just had someone get him a file full of information on her.
“I grew up in foster care. I don’t really have a family.”
Samson’s eyes softened. “Really.”
“I was dropped off at a hospital. Probably my family didn’t want me, or couldn’t afford me, or whatever. Babies that young usually get adopted, but the doctors found a heart defect and had to give me surgery. It’s a pretty minor thing to me now—the scar is barely visible—but then it basically meant I stayed in the hospital longer, and people don’t want to adopt defective babies.” April shrugged. “Or maybe they do, but they didn’t want me. So I ended up in the system and stayed there until I went to college.”
“I see. That must have been very difficult for you.”
April covered her lips, but a giggle escaped.
“Did I say something funny?”
“No, it’s just… It’s odd to see you fumble for words. I feel like that’s usually how everyone else acts around you, right?
“I just wasn’t expecting that kind of story from you. Kids in the foster system, they generally tend to be...”
“...Losers? Damaged? I had the damage down before I even entered the system.”
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“You just can’t create any kind of stability when you don’t have a foundation. So we have to make our own, or we flounder. People need a foundation. They need something to come back to, something that’s constant, that’s always there. You know that they’ve done stress studies that suggest moving has as much stress as losing a loved one? I don’t know if that’s exactly true, but I’d believe it.” April sighed heavily. “Limbo isn’t an easy place for a person to exist.”
“You don’t think there are any decent foster parents out there?”
“Probably. I never met one, but I’ve also never met Steven Hawking, and presumably he’s out there, too.”
Samson quietly put his hand on her should, very gently. Then, after a few minutes, he said, “It is very difficult to exist in limbo.”
April gazed up at him questioningly, but he said nothing more as he rubbed her back just a bit.
When the door cracked open, Samson moved his hand back to his lap. Babette peeked in, scowling deeply. “Sir, your 2pm is here. You weren’t answering your phone.”
Samson reached into his pocket and looked at the phone. “Ah. Turned it on silent for the meeting this morning. Give me ten and then send him in.”
April rose. “I’ll get back to the team now.”
“You do that. Get them to work. I want to show you what it’s like to really travel.”
***
After getting a drink with Jessie after work, April found herself back at her apartment, staring at her closet full of clothes with a needy pug trying to climb on top of her.
“Go away, Damien.”
In reply, he just yipped and butted his head into her left breast.
“Ow! Stop. I love you, too.” April grabbed him, held him to her side, and ruffled his black fur. “I’m going on a trip. And official business trip. What do you think about that?”
Damien, unsurprisingly, had nothing to say, aside from a questioning, “Borf?” when she stopped petting him for a moment.
“I do like him. I want to go. He’s just so… Well, you know I’ve never been with anyone, and it’s more than a little nerve-wracking to spend time with him every day. Is this what it’s like when you really…?”
April sat up abruptly as she heard the floorboards creak. “Lana?”
“Yes!” There was a pause, and then, “Do you want pizza? I’m ordering from Pink’s!”
April scratched Damien’s back to quell his protests. “Sure!”
Lana swung her head into the room. “Yay! Oh, how was the meeting today?”
“Good. Your brother liked my designs. And he fired our supervisor.”
“Ha! Of course he did.” Lana sat on April’s bed and held her hand out for Damien to sniff. He hopped into her lap. “He has to make the over-the-top gestures. Announcing his big plans in the middle of family dinner, firing someone not before or after the big meeting, but during. He’s so dramatic.”
“He planned to fire the guy afterward, but Hutchinson was late and acting like a jerk.”
“Well then, drama justified, but I don’t withdraw my previous accusation.” Lana smiled slowly and started pulling back her long hair. “How’s it been with him? Are you getting along any better?”
“I think we are. The talk we had after the meeting was really good.” April shrugged. “When I’m around him, I just, I don’t know. I feel like I’m about to jump out of my skin. Like he should be able to see my heart about to fly out of my chest, it’s beating so hard.”
Lana’s brows rose slowly. “Wait. Do you like him?”
“What are we, teenagers?”
“Oh, pardon me. I forgot we were adults. Do you want bang him?”
“He’s my boss, Lana!”
“That’s really not what I asked.” Lana swiveled around and lay on her stomach, resting her chin in her hand. “Tell me. You must. You owe me for years of telling you all the details about my relationships.”
“I never asked. And there’s nothing to tell. He flirts, I told him to stop, he’s more professional now, and we… talked. That’s all.” April paused and twisted her fingers. “Also, he wants me to come on a business trip with him.”
“Ohhhh!”
“No! No ‘ohhhh!’ It’s for business. He needs my eye on the designs—”
“And your thigh on his lap, and your ass in the air…”
“Cut it out! God, you two are exactly alike. Do you think I want to lose my virginity to my best friend?”
Lana rolled over onto her back dramatically. “Take me!”
April grabbed her pillow and smacked Lana in the face.
“Ow! That’s not sexy!” Lana complained.
“Neither is stupidity. I’m not going to go turn into the office slut.”
“What a nice sentiment that is,” Lana drawled. She snatched the pillow from April. “You’re allowed to look. I never understood why you’re such a monk.”
“Monks choose celibacy. Some, on the other hand, have celibacy thrust upon us.”
“That’s just silly. You’re cute. I’d date you if you weren’t my best friend.” Lana got up. “I’m going to order the pizza. You want mushrooms and black olives?”
“Yes.”
“Great. Then we can hang out with my Netflix.” Lana smirked as she left the room. “And we don’t have to talk about my brother anymore, but know that you could—”
“Lana,” April warned.
“If you needed to talk, you could talk. Not that you need to. But if you did.”
“I’m going to start throwing shoes.”
Lana breezed out of the room and April heaved a sigh. She really wanted to go on this trip. It wasn’t just travel anymore, either. She found that it was getting easier to spend time with Samson. She both wanted to be around him and avoided him. Possibly because his proximity sometimes made it harder to breathe.
Deny as she might, April knew what that meant. It wasn’t something she’d ever felt before. Not like this, not so intensely. It was hard not to be consumed by his presence, and even harder not to want to be consumed.